"All is Confusing in Love and War"

Prologue

"Thanks for walking me to my hut Gilligan," MaryAnn said shyly. "I had a wonderful time."

"Yeah, sure," Gilligan replied, scratching the back of his head. This was always the most awkward part of dates for him. "Uhm…"

Around them, the leaves of palm trees rustled in the warm tropic breeze. A bird called out in the distance as a beautifully orange sun began to sink behind the towering jungle…

Gilligan summoned his courage, tried to remember everything the Skipper had told him about girls, then pulled MaryAnn close to him, leaned down and, and… he did it. He kissed MaryAnn. It had been a while since he had and finally kissing her after what seemed like ages felt wonderful. Ever since one month ago, he thought he might never get the chance again, but there, he head, and more importantly, she kissed back…

MaryAnn watched Gilligan walk away towards his own hut and stood outside her hut until the darkness began to thicken so that she could no longer see.

She looked back to that day last month, not believing any of it. She had been sitting down at the lagoon when he had come down. Could it have really been her Gilligan who had walked up to her and promptly asked her to marry him? She had been startled, to say the least, and looked at him unbelievingly. Oh how she had wanted to scream out her answer of yes! Yes! Yes!

But something had told her not too. Something deep down had told her to re-read her thoughts. Was this really Gilligan speaking for Gilligan? Or perhaps it was Gilligan speaking for Mrs. Howell's wishes for them marry! MaryAnn was almost certain this was true and looking back, Gilligan's proposal had assured it. He had asked with an air such as an anxious actor not wishing to forget his lines. Yes, someone else had told him what to say.

The moment she had lost so many nights of sleep over had finally arrived, and she had thrown it away. Could that really have been her voice answering, "Oh Gilligan, I, I just couldn't. It wouldn't be right. Ask me another time."

MaryAnn came back to the present and almost hated herself for what she had said so long ago. She was now back at the starting line. Gilligan had taken her back. And she was now back to tossing and turning, waiting desperately for him to ask once more…

Chapter One:

It was a surprisingly cool afternoon on a certain island somewhere in the South Pacific Ocean. According to the Minnow's old barometer and the most intelligent castaway of the seven, a rather fierce storm was due in about a week's time. It was for this reason that a skinny, very clumsy boy was doing two things he rarely ever did: thinking deeply, and further more, about a girl.

He walked up to the hut that belonged to the wealthy married couple and knocked against the bamboo that framed the doorway. A finely dressed man of about 60 years old opened the door with a sorry looking teddy bear under one arm and a bamboo cup that probably contained a cocktail in the other. He didn't look like his normal, happy self; he was wearing the look of a young boy would wear if his pet fish had died.

"Oh, it's you Gilligan. Shouldn't you be collecting coconuts for when the storm hits?"

"Oh yeah, the storm. Me and Skipper were picking up coconuts and he got kind of mad because…"

"That's alright," Mr. Thurston Howell the Third interrupted, hoping to skip a long story of Gilligan's blunders, "Why did you come over here then?"

"Well Mr. Howell, I need some advice. There's this…"
"Advice you say dear boy. Do you know the price of good advice these days?"

"No, but if it's over two dollars and 14 cents, I know I can't afford it. Hi Mrs. Howell," Gilligan finished as he saw a pretty, older lady with a large string of pearls around her neck walk up to the doorway.
"Oh Thurston, give Gilligan the advice, it's only just money!"

"Lovey what you said!" Mr. Howell remarked, clearly taken aback and offended. He then receded to the back of the hut.

"Gilligan, you'll have to excuse Mr. Howell, one of his best stocks went down two points."

"Mrs. Howell, can I ask you for some advice, I only need a little."

"Yes, that's what you think," she remarked, patting a gloved hand gently on Gilligan's shoulder. "Of course I'll give you some advice. In the meantime, let's sit down."

The sat down and Gilligan began, "Mrs. Howell, you're married, right?"

Mrs. Howell put a finger to her mouth before saying, "Yes, I believe I am."

"Well I've been thinking…"

"Oh dear. I know that doesn't come very easily to you."

"Anyway, I've been thinking about how we've been shipwrecked for so long. And we might never get off. Or we could die in a storm like the one the Professor said is coming. And there's this girl on the island that I…"

"You mean MaryAnn?" Mrs. Howell guessed wisely.

"Yeah! How'd you guess?"
"Well dear, there's only two available girls on the island, (I'm already taken), and, no offense intended to either of you, but you and Ginger aren't exactly made for each other."
"Oh, yeah, well, I don't know if we'll ever get rescued and um, we've been here a while, and um, we might die here and…"

"Oh pooh Gilligan! Just say what you want to say."

"Do you think it's to early to ask her to marry me again?"

"Well…"

"Just tell me, do you think she'd marry me?"

"Oh dear Gilligan. Well yes; I believe she would… but are you sure you're ready?"

"That's why I need your advice. I don't want to ask her and then have her say no again."

"Hmmm…" Mrs. Howell thought a minute or two before saying, "I've got it. Gilligan, what is it that every girl wants?"

"Uhm, root beer?"

"Uh, no dear boy, 'every girl wants what another girl has', or something like that. You see?"

"I guess I need glasses, because I can't see what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't. Well, if you really want to see if MaryAnn likes you as much as you like her, you'd have to be around Ginger a lot, pretend to like her, and possibly become engaged to her of course!"

"Mrs. Howell, are you feeling alright? I want MaryAnn to marry me, not Ginger. You said yourself…"

"Never mind what I said, you just run along and tell Ginger your plan, I'm sure she'll understand and cooperate."

"Wouldn't it be better if she just agreed too help me?" Gilligan asked.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Now, you go find Ginger," Mrs. Howell said quickly as she walked away to her hut, "Oh this is such fun!"

Gilligan walked away from the Howell's hut genuinely confused. "So in order to have MaryAnn want to marry me, I have to get engaged to Ginger?" he thought to himself how confusing Mrs. Howell could be. He pushed some palm branches out of his face and passed an intelligent looking man who had his head in his hands and was muttering to himself.

"Oh hi Professor!"

"Hello Skipper," the Professor said as he got up and walked away, just missing running into a tree.

"Hi Skipper?" Gilligan asked himself. Gilligan walked on a little ways until he literally ran into the real Skipper.

"Gilligan! Watch where you're going!" the large sailor wearing a blue polo shirt and a captain's hat shouted.

"Sorry Skipper. Have you seen Ginger?"

"No, but have you checked the girl's hut little buddy?"

"Thanks Skipper."

"Wait a minute, Gilligan, they're in the supply hut cutting up provisions for when the storm hits. By the way, I found a nice cave we can stay in. Tell the girls to take the food over when they're finished. It's past the lagoon then by that big rock."

"Okay, thanks Skipper," he said then turned around and asked, "Hey Skipper."

"Yes?"

"Did you run into the Professor yet?"

"No, why little buddy, is something wrong?"
"I don't know but I walked past him and he said 'hi Skipper', he didn't even look up!"

"Gilligan! He was probably thinking about the storm. I told you not to bother him. He has a lot to think about right now!"

"I didn't bother him; I just walked past him and said hi!" Gilligan said defensively.

"Oh never mind Gilligan!"

And fearing Skipper to hit him with his hat, Gilligan quickly ran off in the direction of the supply hut.

Chapter Two:

Meanwhile, in the hut to which Gilligan was headed, two beautiful girls were standing around a wooden, makeshift table, chopping up coconut shreds. The taller of the two, topped with brilliant, red-orange hair, adorned with a vinyl dress that had first served as a sail from the SS Minnow as the black print running down the side indicated, was laughing easily with the younger brunette.

"Okay MaryAnn, um… James Dean or Gregory Peck; who would you choose?" Ginger asked, continuing their rather childish but fun game.

"James Dean, easily. Do another one Ginger," MaryAnn said eagerly.

"Fine, but then it's my turn. James Dean or Rock Hudson?"

"Hmm… this is tough, I guess Rock Hudson, since James Dean is dead. Now a good one for you…" she paused then asked, "Okay, this is a hard one. If you could marry anyone in the world, who would it be? I've got mine."

"So do I…"

"Then tell me."

"No, you first. It was your question."

"No, you'll laugh…"

"No I won't."

"Yes you will."

"Well, you'll laugh at mine…"
"Oh just say it!"

"Hi Gilligan!" the two girls said simultaneously as he entered.

"Hi girls, mm… coconut," he remarked as he put some in his mouth.

"Gilligan, that's for when the storm hits, besides, how can you still like it after all the trees you've had to climb to get them?" Ginger asked.

"I guess that's why I like them. I know how hard they are to get!"
"Oh, Gilligan…" MaryAnn sighed with a noticeable amount of amusement.

"Hey, Ginger, can I talk to you?" Gilligan asked apprehensively.

"Well, go ahead, talk!" Ginger responded cheerfully.

"I mean alone. No offense MaryAnn."

"None taken," MaryAnn replied and looked at Ginger with a confused questioning expression,. Ginger shrugged back at MaryAnn and gave her an equally confused face as she followed Gilligan out of the hut.

"Gilligan, what's the matter?" Ginger inquired his receding back.

"Not here Ginger, I don't want anyone to see us talking."

"Gilligan!" Ginger said in an offended voice.

"Sorry Ginger, I meant, I didn't want anyone to see us talking and then be suspicious."

"Suspicious? Gilligan, you're not making any sense!"

Gilligan stopped abruptly, looked around cautiously then said to quickly to be understood, "italkedtoMrs.HowellthismorningcauseithinkiwanttomarryMaryAnnbutidon'twanthertosayno,soshesaidishouldgetengagedtoyousoicoulmarryherbutido'tunderstandwhy,soshesaidyouwouldand." Gilligan looked at Ginger, breathing heavy from his small confusing speech.

"Let me try to get this straight," Ginger sighed, "Mrs. Howell said you should marry MaryAnn, but you said no, because you didn't understand why because I'm already engaged to you?" Ginger finished, now even more confused than before.

"Uh, no. Well, um, I've been thinking. About how we've been shipwrecked a long time, and we may not get off anytime soon, and we could die any day and I want to get married before I die… I want to marry MaryAnn."

"Gilligan! Why that's wonderful! Oh she'll be so happy, I was wondering when… oh Gilligan, she'll be thrilled! I can't believe after all this time on the island… oh have you asked her yet?" Ginger questioned with pure joy.

"Well, Ginger," Gilligan couldn't help but blush a little, "I'm glad you're happy, I hope MaryAnn will be happy too. That's kind of what I need to talk you about. Mrs. Howell…"

Gilligan told Ginger about his talk with Mrs. Howell then waited for a response.

"Hmm…" Ginger frowned then said, "Mrs. Howell is right Gilligan, but um, I don't know if that would be fair to MaryAnn… but if you want to see if she really likes you, that's a good way to find out…"
"But would you help me?" Gilligan asked hopefully.

"Yes. I'll help you. But Gilligan… we won't need to um, 'get engaged'," Ginger said with a laugh, "MaryAnn likes you more than you think."

"Okay, thanks Ginger," Gilligan said happily, and began to walk away.

"Oh Gilligan dear," Ginger called out to him with a noticeable hint of amusement, "Shouldn't you walk me back to the hut?" she finished, cocking her eyebrow at Gilligan's confused face.

"Oh yeah," Gilligan said sheepishly, taking her hand as though he was afraid of someone seeing them.

"Gilligan," Ginger sighed, "if you want this to work, you have to play your part without hesitance."

Gilligan gulped, wondering what he had gotten himself into.

Meanwhile, back at the supply hut, MaryAnn continued to chop up coconuts while contemplating possible reasons for Gilligan's need to speak privately with Ginger. She supposed that it was only natural for herself to worry about Gilligan and Ginger; after all, Gilligan and herself were rather close and well, Ginger. It wasn't that she didn't trust Ginger; it was just that Ginger had some natural tendencies to… but Gilligan wasn't like that. She heard someone muttering to himself. MaryAnn glanced out the window before saying cheerfully, "Hi Professor!"

"Oh hello Ginger," he said without looking up from the book he was carrying.

MaryAnn walked out of the hut and asked, "Professor, are you feeling aright?"

"Yes, I feel fine, why do you ask?" the Professor replied, looking her in the eye.

"Well, you just called me Ginger, I'm MaryAnn."

"Oh, I'm sorry MaryAnn. I was just thinking about something."

"Don't you always?" MaryAnn replied with a laugh.

"Thank you MaryAnn, but that's no excuse to not be wary of my surroundings. Have you and Ginger finished preparing the provisions? By the way, where is she?" the Professor asked, craning his neck to check the hut.

"Well, Gilligan needed to talk to her 'privately' and they walked off a while ago and they haven't come back yet."
"Oh. That's odd is it?" he asked hearing a note of worry in MaryAnn's voice.

"Well, no I guess it's not really, but… there they are," MaryAnn indicated the two figures immerging form the palm fronds.

Ginger felt a pang of guilt as she saw a mixture of confusion and resentment quickly flash on MaryAnn's face. Ginger let go of Gilligan's hand and whispered to him, "Just act normal. Or try to act normal," she added, realizing how hard it was for him to act normal. "Hi! Sorry it took so long."

"That's all right; we still have a few more coconuts to prepare."

"Okay," Ginger said, following MaryAnn into the hut when she stopped in front of a staring Professor. "Are you alright Professor?"

When he continued to stare at nothing apparent to Ginger, she waved a hand in front of his face and called his name, "Professor, Professor, are you alright, Professor?"

"What! Oh hello Ginger, is something the matter, you look worried!"

"Professor, you're the one who should be worrying, you just blacked out or something."

"Yeah Professor, Ginger's right. You just blacked out. What does blacked out mean?"

"Never mind Gilligan, are you sure you're fine?"

"What's the matter with everyone? Why are you all assuming I am suffering from some physiological maladjustment that has resulted in the confusion of my surroundings?!"

"Gee Professor, I wish you'd learn how to speak English!" Gilligan commented.

"Yes please Professor," Ginger agreed then headed into the hut.

"See yah Professor," Gilligan said as he walked in the direction of the cave they were all to hide in during the upcoming storm.

The Professor headed down to the lagoon to make some final tests as to tell exactly when the storm would hit.

Five castaways sat around a rectangular table outside in a clearing amongst a dense tropical forest. They talked nonchalantly, pushing any fears of the storm out of their minds.

One of the absent from the table was inside the neighboring supply hut, preparing a regular meal of fish and coconuts. From time to time, MaryAnn was a little annoyed with the lack of help from Ginger (though it might be better not to have her help in the kitchen) as was tonight. MaryAnn caught bits of the conversation while taking the fish off the fire.

"I wonder where the Professor is?" asked the Skipper's voice, "Gilligan, did you tell him dinner was about ready?"

"Oh, whoops, I'll go get him."

"No Gilligan, stay here," MaryAnn heard Ginger beg Gilligan and looked out of the window in time to see Ginger put her arm around Gilligan's shoulder as a protest to his leaving.

"No one needs to fetch me, I'm right here," the Professor, who had also overheard the conversation, called as he walked out to the thicket and over to the table.

MaryAnn came out with the food, wearing a very friendly smile for which she was so well known for.

"Hi, is everyone here now?" she asked, trying her hardest to suppress a feeling of rage at seeing how close Gilligan and Ginger were sitting.

"Before we begin eating," the Professor began importantly, "I have an announcement that concerns us all. It seems I have made a calculation error, as to the exact location of the tropical depression that could lead to our extinction will hit approximately 50 degrees above us, so it follows that we have nothing in which to fear. Isn't that fantastic!" he looked around at their confused faces and exclaimed, "We have nothing to worry about, the storm isn't going to hit us. You see, I made a slight miscalculation…"

However, a happy chorus of relief drowned the story of his miscalculations out:

"That's wonderful Professor!"

"Oh are you positive? I'd hate to be caught fishing when that hits!"

"Isn't that wonderful Thurston! I was sure that storm would ruin my hair!"

"Yes, here's a small donation for your miscalculation."

The cheerful chatter continued but MaryAnn's happiness was broken for a moment as she witnessed Ginger kissing Gilligan on the cheek and him looking back at her and smiling.

MaryAnn's displeasure was ended as Mrs. Howell joyfully announced, "Oh everyone, Thurston and I will hold a party in honor of our safety returning, won't we dear," she finished, patting her husband on the cheek.

"Oh yes, of course. Tomorrow night, everyone arrive in their Island Formal Wear," Mr. Howell noted pleasantly (there had been a false report on the Wall Street news, his stock had actually risen two points).

The friends ate dinner in a relieved and happy mood, quite looking forward to the upcoming party. After the meal, everyone got up and preceded to each of his or her huts, that is, everyone except Gilligan and Ginger, who walked down towards the lagoon. MaryAnn, however, was the only one to notice exactly how Ginger and Gilligan were walking. Gilligan's arm was draped around Ginger's shoulder, and her head was wresting on his.

Chapter Three:

"Okay, Gilligan, now make it look good," Ginger said as they approached her and MaryAnn's hut.

"Oh Gilligan, you will take me to the Howell's party won't you?"

"Of course, there's no one else in the world I'd rather take. But you've got to dance with me for every dance, promise?"

"I promise cutie! Goodnight!" she giggled and walked into her hut, rather regretting having to face MaryAnn.

Meanwhile, MaryAnn walked away from the door and sat down on her bed, hoping desperately her hearing was going bad.

"Hi Ginger. Back so soon?" she asked, not caring to hide the sarcasm in her words.

"MaryAnn, are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm just dandy…"

"Are you sure, you're pulling the hem out of that pillow."

MaryAnn quickly stood up and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Ginger called, a genuine note of concern ringing in her voice. When she couldn't interpret MaryAnn's answer, Ginger flopped down on her own bed, picked up a pillow, and moaned into it. Was it actually Gilligan who had talked her into this? Or, was there some part of her that was in on this for her own reasons…

In a small hut, cluttered with science equipment, the Professor lay on his cot tossing and turning. He didn't know what was the matter with him. He had checked his medical books but found nothing to indicate the cause of his behavior. He had gone over every illness, anything out of the ordinary…

And yet… maybe it was something much more common… But no, he thought, Professor's don't fall in love… But all the facts pointed to that and the Professor knew it. But why, why after all this time, he answered himself by noting that this storm, even if it didn't hit them, could indirectly almost certainly lead to their rescue (he hadn't told the others as he didn't want to raise their hopes). Yes, if they were rescued… she would vanish from his life, just like that… her various and numerous flirtations with Gilligan were to be expected by now, but tonight, when he saw those two together… had he felt possibly, a pang of jealousy?

Why, he himself had barely anything in common with her, and he knew it wasn't just her appearance, it wasn't something more about her that he wasn't sure he would ever understand.

No… it wouldn't, couldn't, and doesn't make sense… But, maybe it doesn't have to make sense, he thought, perhaps; yes it is very likely, that I, Professor Roy Hinkley, have without knowing it, fallen in love with the movie star, Ginger Grant…

"Gilligan, Gilligan little buddy, wake up!" the Skipper whispered to the bottom of Gilligan's hammock. "Gilligan, wake up and that's an order!" he barked.

"Uh, wha, what? AHHHHH, what is it, what is it?! Woahhhhh… SKIPPER!!!!!!" Gilligan shouted as his hammock flipped and he landed across the disgruntled, tired Skipper.

"Thanks a lot Gilligan," the Skipper gasped, pushing Gilligan off his chest and onto the sandy floor.

"Wow Skipper! The sun must have overslept! It's pitch black out there!"

"Gilligan! It's the middle of the night! Are you alright, you were muttering in your sleep, something about marrying MaryAnn, or was it Ginger… no wait, I'm sure it was Mrs. Howell?"

"Oh whoops… yeah, I'm alright."

"Well, are you sure? 'Cause (YAWN), if you want, we can (YAWN), talk about it (YAWN)."

"That's alright. If you let me get to sleep, I'll let you be my best man at all three of my weddings!" Gilligan joked, but Skipper's response to the offer was loud snoring…

The air surrounding the lagoon was still and tranquil, though, to MaryAnn, it now felt tense and worrying. The moonlight reflected off the smooth surface of the water and one of her fondest memories came rushing back to her…

It'd been a starry night, the moon shining as it was this evening. Gilligan's arm around her... Then… could it really have been Gilligan who had pulled her close to kiss her…

MaryAnn's reverie was ended abruptly by the distant sound of a twig snapping. She turned around to face the vicinity from which the sound had come. Emerging from the leaves came the Professor, his figure silhouetted by the moon.

"I'm sorry to have startled you MaryAnn. I heard you pass my hut and I was wondering if everything was alright."

"Oh, did I wake you up? I'm awfully sorry."

"No, I couldn't sleep anyway," and for uneasiness as to explain why he couldn't sleep asked," Are you looking forward to the Howell's cotillion?"

"Yes. I'm sure I will have a grand old time," MaryAnn answered with an air that suggested quite the opposite.

"Forgive me if I sound vulgar, but your tone of voice tells me otherwise."

"Well, I guess you assumed correctly."

"Is it because of Gilligan?" he asked, surprising MaryAnn.

"Well, yes. Yes it is. How did you..."

The Professor rose up a hand and explained, "I saw something flicker in your eyes when we witnessed Ginger and Gilligan holding hands. Ah, yes, I'm not as wrapped up in my scientific studies as everyone seems to assume."

MaryAnn managed to give him a weak smile and asked, "If I didn't wake you, why were you still up?"

"I was um…" the Professor searched quickly for a suitable explanation, "contemplating the probability of the tropical depression reversing to the pattern of our position and possibly obliterating our diminutive haven."

"Professor," MaryAnn said, one hand on her hip, "I don't even know what you said, and I can tell you aren't telling me the truth."

"Perhaps I am prevaricating; however, I see no need for you to know the content of my thoughts."

"Maybe not, but, curiosity killed the cat, and well, I told you why I was up."

"Ah, correction, I correctly assumed what you were felling. However, it would be rude not to confess my reason." The Professor paused, wondering where to start, "Oh you wouldn't believe it anyway."

"Try me…"

"I'd rather not talk about it…"

"Oh, all right…" MaryAnn sighed, "Besides, I know what kept you up… I saw it in your eyes…"

"Good Heavens! You, you won't tell anyone will you?"

"No… but what you see in her…"

"You and Ginger had a fight I presume?"

"No, not really a fight, but I guess she made me kind of sore."

"Oh! And what exactly did she do to make you sore?"

"I overheard her asking Gilligan to take her to the cotillion and he said yes," MaryAnn scoffed then continued, "Then! Ginger had the nerve to prance into our hut," at this MaryAnn stood up and attempted to imitate ginger's so called prancing, "acting as if she hadn't done a thing wrong!"

At the word acting, something went off in the Professor's brain. He now had a good theory s to what Ginger was up to. And he didn't doubt the slightest that Mrs. Howell was in on it as well. However, he had no wish to raise his or MaryAnn's hopes in vain, so out loud he said, "Well MaryAnn, after all… Gilligan is fair game; pardon the expression."

"What is that supposed to mean?!" MaryAnn asked indignantly.

"Well, what I mean is that you did um… turn his last marriage proposal down."

"Well yes, but only because I know Mrs. Howell was the only reason he asked me in the first place," she finished hotly. "I still like Gilligan, and Ginger knows that! I'll bet she's just doing this to get back at me for something. I don't know what; I think I've put up pretty well with her!"

"MaryAnn, don't you think that's taking it a bit far. I mean, even if she did want to get even with you, I highly doubt Gilligan would cooperate."

"Oh, I guess you're right. But that still doesn't explain her and Gilligan. It's you she's after."

"Come again?" the Professor asked quite taken aback.

"You heard me. Now can we go back to our huts?" MaryAnn asked impatiently, annoyed that she had partially aided Ginger in 'getting' the Professor.

"Certainly we can go. I see no reason to stay any longer now that every thing is off our chests. I'm sure now we'll sleep easier."

"Speak for yourself," MaryAnn mumbled to the back of the Professor's head as they trudged back to their huts.

Chapter Four:

The next morning, four droopy-eyed people were sitting around the small table, using all their energy in attempting to stay awake.

"Gilligan, did you (yawn), tell the Howell's breakfast was ready?" the Skipper slurred.

"Huh? Oh, no, sorry Skip, Sk, Skipper."

"Never mind Gilligan, here they come," Ginger mumbled.

"Hello there!" Mrs. Howell exclaimed cheerfully, "Oh dear, you four look dreadfully tired!"

"Yes, was there a party we missed?" Mrs. Howell joked.

"No, I suppose we al became hyper-tense with excitement which caused… oh never mind," the Professor ended tiredly as MaryAnn brought out breakfast, looking even more than the others.

"Well, perhaps a bit of food will help you," Mrs. Howell suggested hopefully.

After the meal had been finished, they did indeed perk up a bit and went about their daily activities.

"Um, Ginger, can I speak with you for a moment?" The Professor asked, pulling her aside.

"Why sure, is something the matter?"

"Well… no not really, but. Ginger, I know what you and Gilligan are up to and I think you two should stop it."
Ginger was quite shocked the Professor had caught on so quickly, however, she was prepared to respond, "Professor, I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. Are you feeling alright?"
"Ginger, I feel fine! Now really, you don't need to… well… you and Gilligan… just stop stirring things up!"

"Oh Professor, Gilligan and I aren't merely playacting. We found out we have a lot in common!" Ginger said eagerly.

"Oh, such as?"

"Well," Ginger began, putting her arms around the Professor's neck, "to start with, he's a man, and I'm a woman…"

"So I've noticed, but that seems hardly enough to discern whom you wish to take you to the cotillion."

"Professor, how did you find out?!" Ginger asked, dropping her arms to her side.

"I ran into MaryAnn down at the lagoon and it appeared, she overheard you and Gilligan."

"Figures," Ginger muttered, trying to sound annoyed but really laughing to herself.

"Be reasonable Ginger, it's not to hard to overhear things on this small island. Anyway, as I was saying, MaryAnn and I began talking and…"

MaryAnn caught the last bit of the conversation but before the Professor could finish, she walked over and, "Hi! Did you tell Ginger?"

"Tell her what MaryAnn?"

"Oh Roy, you're so funny," she giggled, grabbing his arm. Turning to Ginger she explained, "Roy offered to take me to the cotillion tonight. Naturally, I agreed. He's so sweet."

The Professor, still startled at being addressed with his first name, was about to speak when he felt MaryAnn nudging him, "Oh, yes. I think we should have a grand time. Well, it's not until tonight, so I'll see you later." The Professor left quickly, fearing the tempers brewing between both girls.

"Well!" Ginger remarked for lack of anything kind to say.

MaryAnn, seizing a perfect opportunity retaliated in mock concern, "Ginger are you alright? You seem positively upset!"

"Oh… go jump in the lagoon!" she remarked sharply, then stormed off towards their hut.

Later that day, the chores finished, Gilligan and the Skipper were preparing for the Howell's cotillion eagerly. The Skipper was looking into the bamboo-framed mirror, adjusting his hat to his preference. Gilligan was combing back his hair, whistling the tune to his favorite Mosquito's song.

"Gilligan, would you please stop whistling, I'm trying to concentrate!"

"Yeah, you look good Skipper," he remarked absentmindedly.

"Why thank you little buddy. You don't look bad yourself."

"Thanks, hey Skipper, I was wondering…"
However, whatever Gilligan was wondering was interrupted by the sound of knocking.

The Skipper repositioned his hat and walked over to the door, pulled it open and said, "Oh hello Ginger. Are you ready already?"

"Huh? Oh no," she laugh distractedly, "I must look a mess."

"You could have fooled me," the Skipper complimented eagerly.

"Thanks, hey, can I talk to Gilligan real quick?"

"Sure. Gilligan, come over here," the Skipper shouted over his shoulder. Then turning to Ginger asked, "Say Ginger, how about promising me a dance tonight, huh?"

"Sure Skipper," Ginger replied, smiling as Skipper's cheeks reddened, "but right now, I need to talk to Gilligan," she finished, taking Gilligan's arm and pulling him outside of the hut.

"What is it Ginger?"

"I just wanted to talk to you before the party. Um… whatever MaryAnn does in retaliation for whatever we do, just ignore it, unless I tell you otherwise. Go it?"
"Huh?"

"What I'm trying to say is, no matter what, stick with the plan tonight."

"Okay, okay."

"Oh, and Gilligan, don't tell Skipper, or anyone else our plan tonight."

"Alright,:" Gilligan said, turning to go into his hut. Ginger walked off in the opposite direction, hoping she didn't have to face MaryAnn…

Chapter Five:

Her hopes were banished the moment she walked through the door. MaryAnn was touching up her makeup, humming loudly as to prevent herself from saying anything distasteful.

Ginger felt quite the same way, and began singing as to block out her thoughts.

This however, soon became a competition; the louder MaryAnn hummed, the louder Ginger sang, and vice versa.

The noise was only broken by an occasional, very fake-cheerful, "Would you pass the mirror" "Oh you look very nice" and so fourth. The tensions in the air rose steadily, as did the volume of the music, until Ginger, now tired of singing, "Give My Regards to Broadway", snapped, "Do you have to hum so loudly?!"

"Well, do you have to sing so loud?!" MaryAnn retorted angrily.

"Well maybe I do!"

"Well maybe you should just SHUT UP!" 'dear, sweet, innocent' MaryAnn shouted angrily.

"MaryAnn, why are you so mad at me? I can't help it if Gilligan likes me better than you," Ginger knew full well that this was far from true but the image of MaryAnn and the Professor burned hot in her mind.

However, she was not prepared for what happened next. MaryAnn surprised herself when she slapped Ginger across the face.

Ginger touched where MaryAnn had hit then aimed the perfume bottle she was holding at MaryAnn, and fired.

Coughing, MaryAnn grabbed a bottle of lotion from the table and fired at Ginger who backed up to avoid being hit.

This continued for quite some time, until they were both low on ammunition. Fortunately, they both missed continuously. They heard a knock on the door and quickly hid their weapons.

"Come in," they shouted in unison."
"Oh hi, Gilligan. Professor. Could you give us about five more minutes, um… we aren't quite ready…" Ginger supplied.

"Uh, sure. Um, Ginger, are you alright? Um, your face is kind of red," Gilligan said awkwardly, indicating to where MaryAnn had slapped her.

"Oh, that, well, MaryAnn and I were getting ready, when suddenly, this fly started bothering us, and naturally, we tried to smack it. Anyway, it flew by me and MaryAnn lunged for it, and, well, needless to say she missed," Ginger lied, shrugging.

MaryAnn's face was also red now, which was also questioned by Gilligan.

"Oh! Same as Ginger. That darn fly was quite a nuisance!" she answered, causing Gilligan and the Professor to shrug then leave the hut so the girls could finish getting ready.

Ten minutes later, they appeared, hair done and makeup applied.

They stood in an uncomfortable silence for awhile until Gilligan announced, "I guess we'd better get going. Um, I brought the 'car' so we don't have to walk. I think we can all squeeze in if we try."

Soon, they were all in, heading towards the clearing. Gilligan was peddling with Ginger sitting next to him, his arm draped around her shoulder at her guidance.

Seeing this, MaryAnn, who was with the Professor in the back exclaimed, "Oh Roy! Won't you recite that poem you promised me?"

"Poem, what poem?"

"You know… the incredible, original, very romantic one you composed especially for me…"

"Oh, um… THAT one," the Professor remarked, clearing his throat while attempting to create something on the spot,

"MaryAnn, you are as gentle as a dove.

For you are so fine.

How I wish I was a bovine,

For then I would have your love."

"Oh Roy… that was wonderful!" MaryAnn responded, trying to sound breathless and mesmerized. Ginger rolled her eyes in vexation.

Afraid that he was going to be asked to recite a poem, Gilligan was relieved when they finally reached their destination. Each of the men exited the vehicle and walked around to the other side and opened the doors, allowing their dates to step out.

They were greeted by an excited Mrs. Howell who led them to a table where Mr. Howell and the Skipper who were involved in a conversation were sitting.

After a brief speck by Mr. Howell that could have been briefer, the dancing began. When the fourth dance had ended, the Skipper walked up to Ginger. "About that dance…"

"I'd love to," she answered truthfully as the thought of Gilligan's repeated and continuous toe stepping crept into her mind.

As the music played, they talked easily. Then, the Skipper, noticing Ginger's president glancing towards MaryAnn and the Professor asked, "So… is the plan working?"

"So, Gilligan told you?" she replied with some amusement.

"Well, you told him not to tell anyone didn't you?" At this, they both chuckled quietly. "When are you going to give this masquerade up?"

"Golly, soon, I hope. No offense, but I'm kind of sick of 'Little Buddy'. And besides, he starting to creep me out, he's… I don't know, acting kind of robotic… like everything I suggest, he does. I'm starting to think he would get engaged to me if he thought it would lead to MaryAnn marrying him. Besides, seeing MaryAnn and the Professor together doesn't exactly fill me with joyful thoughts…"

"Gee Ginger, you really know how to down a guy," the Skipper teased.

"Oh Skipper… you'll always be my favorite sailor!"

"Thanks. Well, I think I'm more of a single kind of guy anyway."

The dance ended and Ginger was rejoined with Gilligan. They were about to walk out onto the dance floor when everyone heard a loud, gruff voice call out, "Do not move, you surrounded!"

"Natives!" Lovey shrieked.

Immediately, MaryAnn ran to Gilligan, Ginger ran to the Professor, and Mr. Howell hid behind Mrs. Howell.

The Skipper, without a partner- I always feel so bad for him, answered, "Alright, show yourself!"

The voice answered, "Will show. First, must get blow guns!"

The castaways stood, paralyzed with fear, not breathing a word until Gilligan announced to MaryAnn, who was clinging to him for dear life, "MaryAnn, I've got something to confess… I didn't come to the cotillion with the right girl tonight. The whole thing between me and Ginger, it was a fake; just part of a scheme to see if you still liked me, and well, I guess we took it too far…"

"That was my fault, Gilligan," Ginger corrected him, "I'm sorry MaryAnn… I can only hope I didn't ruin a perfect relationship for you and Gilligan…"

"The only thing that could ruin it now is if that native comes back and kills us," MaryAnn informed.

"NativeS!" a large native announced as he and two muscular, mean-looking natives stepped forward. "I am King Kilauani, emperor of eternal night, knight of eternal day, and keeper of eternal flame!"

"King Kilauani?!" the seven castaways shouted in disbelief.

At this, King Kilauani seemed to recognize the group and shrunk back in horror, "Have made terrible mistake! This not land of free and home of brave! This dreaded island of the curse of white goddess Winoimi!"

The threesome immediately disappeared into the darkness and were never seen on the island again.

Relieved to have regained safety, the castaways laughed in good spirit.

They returned to their dancing, now with the correct partners. His arms around MaryAnn, Gilligan asked, "Um, MaryAnn, I guess what I did wasn't the smartest or best thing I've ever done… but do you forgive me?"
"If I didn't, would I be dancing with you right now?"

"Well um, no. I guess I'm pretty lucky then."

"You're cute Gilligan."

"Well you're twice as cute as I am."

"No, you're triple as cute as me."

"Oh I couldn't be half as cute as you are MaryAnn."

"You know, we really need to have better conversations," MaryAnn laughed.

"I don't know, right now, we sound like a pretty cute couple!"

The castaways continued to dance for a while more, but ended the party earlier than usual on account that they were all thoroughly exhausted.

Chapter Six:

Over the next two weeks, MaryAnn and Gilligan were seen together more than just occasionally. Not to mention that Ginger and the Professor were also seen together a good bit.

It was one of the island's typical days. The sun was shining brightly and there was a slight breeze.

Walking through the jungle, MaryAnn passed Ginger, who stopped her suddenly after a friendly "hi".

"Oh, MaryAnn! I almost forgot. Gilligan left something for you on your pillow."

"Thanks," MaryAnn said quickly, almost running to reach her hut.

When she arrived, she waked immediately over to her bed where she picked up a flower and a note. It read:

Deer MaryAnn,

I picced this flour for you, because it is prettie, and so are you. Can you come down to the laagon at nine tonite? I'll weight for you.

Love,

Gilligan

MaryAnn almost squealed with delight. She checked the Mani Moose watch Gilligan had given her a while back and saw that it was only six pm. She decided she might as well bake a coconut cream pie for Gilligan.

After placing the pie near the fire to bake, MaryAnn walked over to her hut to change. There she met Ginger, who was trying to select something to wear.

"Hi, going somewhere?" MaryAnn asked.

"Perhaps, you?"

"Yes, I'm meeting Gilligan down at the lagoon."

Ginger made an 'Awww…' sound which MaryAnn responded with, "Oh be quite. You're going out somewhere with the Professor."

"That's very possible… well, have a good time tonight," Ginger told MaryAnn as MaryAnn left the hut, now wearing her checkered dress.

Gilligan was pacing back and forth down at the lagoon. He checked his watch for probably the one-hundredth time when he saw MaryAnn walk out onto the lagoon's shore, carrying a coconut cream pie.

"Oh, hi MaryAnn! Mmm… coconut cream pie! You're the best MaryAnn!" Gilligan complemented.

MaryAnn sat the pie on a rock and stood next to Gilligan. They watched the orange ball of fire sink behind the palm trees and the wind gently rustled the palms.

"MaryAnn, will you…" then remembering he wasn't on his knee, "cut me a piece of pie?"

"Sure Gilligan," MaryAnn replied, squatting down next to the rock.

"Uh, MaryAnn…" Gilligan began, getting down on one knee.

"Yeah…" she answered, only looking up when she noticed Gilligan's hands were holding hers.

"Will you marry me?" Gilligan's voice came out surprisingly calm, and very sincere.

MaryAnn could not believe her ears. Her eyes filled up with joyful tears. "Yes" was all she managed to say before she dissolved into a fit of tears of ecstasy.

"MaryAnn," Gilligan asked, putting his arm around her, "are you alright?"

"I'm, I'm fine Gilligan. It's just that, I've never been so happy my entire life!" MaryAnn cried in rapture.

"Oh, wait, I have something for you," Gilligan announced, digging through his pockets with shaky hands. Finding what he wanted continued, "It's a ring I made for you. I would have proposed earlier, but it wasn't finished."

Gilligan attempted to hand her the wooden ring he had crafted but accidentally dropped the ring in the pie. "Whoops, sorry MaryAnn."

"That's alright Gilligan," MaryAnn said, picking the ring out of the pie. "It's beautiful! How did you make it?"

"Skipper showed me how. Do you like it?"

"Oh I love it! But more importantly, I love who made it!"

Ginger looked up from the magazine she was reading as MaryAnn burst through the door shouting, "GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT!"
"What?"

"Gilligan, he proposed!"

"He did?! Oh MaryAnn, that's wonderful!"

"SKIPPER!!!! I did it I did it! I'm going to marry MaryAnn!!!!!!" Gilligan shouted as he neared their hut.

Before he could even enter the hut however, he was caught in a big hug from Skipper.

"Sk, Skipper," Gilligan squeaked, "I can't breath!
"Well you deserve it Little Buddy! Now I'm going to be all alone now that my first mate deserted me!" Skipper announced jovially, finally releasing Gilligan.

"I'm sorry about that Skipper."

"Well, don't be. I'm proud of you Little Buddy!"

"Skipper are you crying?" Gilligan asked in that Gilligan sort of way.

"NO! Now shut up and that's an order!"

The next week was filled with preparations for the wedding, but finally, the big day arrived. Skipper was pacing the raft they had constructed nervously, skimming each page of the ceremony. Gilligan wasn't much better, with his nervous fidgeting an tie straitening. The Professor had his hands full trying to keep them both calm. Since there were only seven castaways, everybody had a part in the wedding.

Taking one last gulp of air, the Skipper began the wedding with a brief speech. After it concluded, Mr. Howell put a record on and Lovey began to process forward, throwing flowers here and there. Ginger, the Maid of Honor, followed, taking her spot on the left of Skipper, as did Mrs. Howell.

Mr. Howell changed the music and the wedding march began to play. He led MaryAnn up the 'aisle', acting in for MaryAnn's father. The ceremony continued smoothly through till the end.

"I now pronounce you, Man and Wife. You may kiss the bride," the Skipper announced.

Gilligan shifted uneasily as everyone looked at him.

"Well go ahead Gilligan, kiss the bride."

"In front of everyone Skipper?"

"Gilligan!" Skipper ordered.

"But Skipper, do I really need to in front of everyone?"

MaryAnn was laughing to her self at Gilligan's adorableness.

"Well, I guess we could all turn around?" Ginger suggested.

"I don't see why not," the Professor agreed. They all turned around as MaryAnn and Gilligan kissed.

"Okay, you turn around now," Gilligan announced, a little embarrassed.

They concluded the ceremony and headed towards the reception hall, (Which was also known as the Howell's private country club), to begin celebrating.

When they arrived, Mr. Howell brought out the bubbly, and the toasting began.

Afterwards, the maid of honor and the best man stood up to give speeches.

"When we boarded the SS Minnow so many years ago, none of us knew what a turn our lives would take. We were a group of people who could not have been more different then we were. But that turn our lives took, was one for the better, because we have all learned to live together and to get through the hardships together, as different as we were. MaryAnn, at first I wasn't so sure we'd get along, but my assumptions were proved incorrect. We may have many differences, but we have overcome them, and Lucy and Ethel couldn't have been better friends, even if these last two days were a little dodgy.

MaryAnn, you're the nicest girl I know, and you and Gilligan deserve each other and will be very happy together and I'm sure you'll never regret the decision. I wish you many years of bliss, harmony, and fortitude. It's from a movie I was in, "Happily Ever After". And I'm sure your story will continue in the same way," Ginger concluded, taking her seat.

"Well Gilligan, I would like to commence my speech by enlightening you in my wishes of superincumbent fortitude to you both. Though at times you may be of interminable exasperation, I am frolicsome with the prospect of your future. To you and MaryAnn, may it be granted prevailing life, love, and delight. I assume you do not understand a word of which I'm saying, so in conclusion, live long. But more importantly, love long."

Gilligan gaped appreciatively, and commented, trying to sound intelligent, "That speech was really well! Me and MaryAnn sure have a lot to live up to!"

Every one laughed lightheartedly and the dancing began. After the ceremony ended, plans were made. It was decided that the Professor's old hut, and Gilligan would move in with MaryAnn. Everyone bid goodnight and trudged sleepily, but very happy, to his or her hut. They would worry about switching possessions tomorrow.

Chapter Seven:

Ginger stared at the roof of what used to be the Professor's hut, silently counting the palm leaves it contained. She had hardly been alone for an hour, and already she knew she wouldn't like being alone in a hut. it was too quiet, too eerie, and above all, too lonely. She decided she might as well walk down to the lagoon if she was awake. Something about the lagoon held a sensation of calming, of hope. Adorning a bathrobe, she lit a torch and headed down to the lagoon.

The Professor rubbed his head and yawned as he gazed a this reflection in the clear water. The wedding had made him think about things more than he wanted to. Quietly, he talked to his reflection asking, "What am I going to do… how in the world can I tell Ginger I love her, what if she doesn't like me?"

Suddenly, Ginger's reflection appeared in the water suggesting, "Maybe you should just ask her."

The Professor was startled for a moment, then convinced himself that he must be dreaming and decided to go along with his imagination, "If it was really that easy, would I still be sitting here, deciding how to talk to you?"

"Well, maybe not, but, not everything will come easily. But anyway, it can't hurt to ask."

"Oh alright," the Professor agreed, and thinking he was merely talking to a figment of his mind asked, "Ginger, I love you. Do you love me?"

"Oh Professor, I love you very much," Ginger replied, swinging around so that her head rested on the Professor's outstretched legs.

"GOOD HEAVENS!" he exclaimed loudly. His manner turned rapidly from surprise to embarrassment as he murmured very hastily, "Oh Ginger, you gave me a fright. I um, I was um… well I'm lost for words, this is very awkward. Um… not to sound odd, but did you mean what you just asked my reflection?"

"Ginger, I couldn't have meant it more for all of the knowledge in the world."

"Well, then you have my answer. Yes, I do love you. As much as I tried not to fall in love with the short-pants-wearing professor, I did very thoroughly."

"Wait? Are my pants really that short?" he asked, not that he'd ever taken much notice to his clothing.

"About two cute little inches. But for the record, I think it's kind of cute. Just a little, I mean, don't go parading their shortness on account of me. But yeah, it's kind of adorable."

"Well, um. I never noticed their length before. I, um, this is very awkward indeed."

"you've established that. But, now that we're talking, can I ask you a question?"

"Why certainly."

"Is there any possibility of a rescue, I mean, after four years?"

"Well, I'm not entirely sure. I assume your next question is why I don't construct a raft?"

"Possibly… I was a bit curious."

"Well, would you like me to tell you a lie, however incurably romantic as it is, that I've waited four years to tell you how I feel, that I've spent all of my many nights on the island staring at and talking to my reflection, asking it how to tell you my feelings. Or would you like to hear that building a raft is one of the few sciences I have not mastered and would hate to risk the lives of our captain and first mate."

"Hmmm… please, lie to me!" she laughed.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a time, watching the palm trees sway with the gentle breeze.

"Ginger, I know this is very random, but were you named after Ginger Rogers?"

"Yeah, I was. Though I've never really ballroom danced much."

"Hmm… that's funny."

"What, were you named after Roy Rogers?" Ginger joked.

"Actually, I was."

They stared into each other's eyes, both thinking of how wonderful it would be to really share a last name. But when would this come true? Who knew, but they did not worry. After all, tomorrow is another day!

(But for the record, they did kiss goodnight!)