Moe in Peril

Note: Moe is kidnapped by a mysterious group of masked thugs that want to force the recipe for the Flaming Moe out of him. Lynn and family receive the news by way of an email ransom note and decide to take action. Maury, now 7, takes over Moe's Bar and develops the Maurhito, his version of the Mohito.

"Family above all."—Tagline for The Black Donallies

Chapter 1—Loves of His Life

Moe Syzlak adored dancing with Lynn. Every so often, the two of them would be seen doing variations of the quickstep and the foxtrot along the hardwood floors in their newly renovated home. As the big band sound of the jazzy At Last sounded from their stereo, outside, their dog, Sunshine, a stunningly lovely golden retriever, ran around in the gigantic backyard.

Maury and Francine had been spending the night at a friend's house, so Moe had left alone with Lynn until they returned. He breathed in her delicate scent, which tickled his nose and caused him to exhale tranquilly. At the end of the dance he caught his breath again and his eyes met hers. He felt as if he were meeting her again for the first time. He would never forget the moment she walked into the Pierre DuLane studio. He remembered what she wore on that day, down to the last detail. She wore a black cocktail dress accentuating her curves, her raven hair flowing lusciously and those sumptuous red lips that begged to be kissed.

"You're gorgeous, Lynn…", he said, breathlessly.

"And you, still the handsome gentleman I've come to love more and more. How could I be so fortunate to be swept off my feet by such a gallant prince ?", Lynn said, drawing a circle around his heart playfully. Moe chuckled at her touch. He then remembered he had a surprise for her. He did this every so often on the spur of the moment, just because he enjoyed spoiling her with little trinkets.

"To what do I owe the pleasure ?", she said as he gestured for her to turn around.

"Just a symbol of my love for you, no reason other than that, my darling.", Moe said, gently as he kissed her neck softly from the side. The necklace was a ruby heart outlined with diamonds, hanging daintily from a silver necklace. She saw her reflection and the heart accenting her neck. It was breathtaking.

"Moe, this must've cost a fortune !", she gasped.

"When it comes to treating my Queen royally, price is no object.", he said, kissing her neck affectionately again. She melted into his tender kiss and turned around to kiss him in return. She began to unbutton his shirt, and it dropped to the floor idly. He slid her spaghetti straps over her porcelain white shoulders and held her close as her silk burgundy dress slipped away so effortlessly. The two lovers left articles of clothing here and there as they met in the bedroom and made love.

Moe turned to look at Lynn and ran his fingers through her soft hair. She snuggled close to him and sighed euphorically. This was their usual pattern from time to time, but neither of them grew tired of it. It was incredible that they could still have time for passion in their relationship when their fraternal twins were both seven. Maury and Francine had been blessings to Moe, more so than he would've ever realized. Since marriage, seeing the birth of his children and settling into wedded bliss, he hadn't been depressed, or suicidal. Yet, then it dawned on him. The twins were coming home.

"Oh, crap…", he thought to himself. He kissed Lynn on the forehead and whispered in her ear.

"The twins are coming back.", he said, softly. His breath teased her ear, which made her giggle somewhat. But, she knew that he was right. Quickly, the two of them got dressed and she began to get dinner ready as well as Sunshine's food when she came whining and scratching at the door.

Chapter 2—Family Dinner

Maury and Francine came home, having much to share about their enjoyable time at their friend's house. Sunshine had come to greet them both, wagging her tail joyfully behind her. She had been so excited to see them that she pinned them both and licked them happily.

"Alright, Sunshine ! We missed you too, girl !", Maury said, laughing. He had a cowlick that Lynn quickly fixed after Francine helped him back up to his feet.

As soon as the children sat down to eat stroganoff, they complimented on how fantastic the meal was. Lynn hadn't lost any of her touch. They all raised their glasses; each had a 2 percent whole glass of milk, and called out Salute in unison.

"May we always be so blessed with such bounty !", Moe toasted. The children smiled and continued savoring their meal. Though they were both slightly spoiled by four star meals and their parents doting on them with gifts every so often, they were disciplined, and excelling in all of their classes.

Sunshine had gone outside to play with the kids as Moe and Lynn curled up on the couch together to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. Moe gazed at the ecstatic smile upon his wife's face and caressed her cheek. She held his hand next to her lips and softly pecked it, relishing his tenderness again. He whispered in her ear.

"I love you, Lynn Marie.", he said, his voice unwavering.

"I do as well, more than I could ever say through my poems…", she confessed, and rested her head upon Moe's strong, but soft chest. The steady beating of his heart lulled her into a deep sleep. She was even angelic in repose. It was no wonder she was a model, and an innovator of fashion. However, she was never boastful about her looks, and Moe didn't seem to mind that other men looked at her. He knew, in the core of his being, that Lynn was a rare gem and he would treat her as such. She was precious, brilliant, and unique.

Chapter 3—Sinking Sensation

Moe had kissed his wife and kids goodbye before going to work, but as soon as he got into his car, there were mysterious masked thugs waiting for him.

"What's the meaning of this ?! What do you want ?!", Moe said, searching for his mace. He had only begun to panic since he wasn't certain what was going on. He then felt himself going limp as one of the thugs held a rag soaked with chloroform over his mouth. Moe's world had gone completely black.

When Moe awakened, he found himself bound. He couldn't reach his Swiss army knife since his hands had been tied behind his back. He struggled a bit and grumbled. This hadn't started out to be such a great day, but it was no use for regrets now. He lowered his head and prayed silently before his captors returned.

"So, Mr. Syzlak, we meet again.", the leader said. Another, more slight member of the group nudged the boss in the ribcage.

"No, you dolt…this is the first time he's seen us !", the underling said, and then was met by a mighty slap in the chops.

"Shut up ! I'm the one who speaks, you listen. Capiche ?", the leader said. The underling, held his jaw and mewled slightly. This guy definitely meant business.

"You're probably wondering why we kidnapped you. The answer is simple really. We've come for the prized recipe for your Flaming Moe.", the leader said, being quite hospitable despite the manner in which Moe was being held. The others simply watched him. Their unwavering gaze troubled him, but he had hope he would be rescued from the like of these crooks.

"Why did they have to go to this kind of trouble ? The least they could do is ask !", Moe thought to himself. One of the masked unidentified subjects gave him a drink of water, without asking anything in return.

"We'll try to make you as comfortable as we can. All we ask for in return is that recipe.", the leader stated, with a smirk that could be seen under his mask.

"Might I speak ?", Moe said, politely. He knew it was better to ask for permission than risk angering the leader of the group.

"Of course. How courteous you are !", the leader said, pleased with Moe's obedience.

"Once I give you the recipe, you'll let me go, right ?", Moe questioned, curiously.

"It would be wrong of me not to. It will be the last time you ever see us. No need to worry, Mr. Syzlak.", the leader said, honestly. Moe sighed in relief. He would give them the recipe quickly and be home in time to play with Sunshine and the kids.

Meanwhile back at the Syzlak residence…

"Mom ! MOM ! Come and see this, quickly !", Francine called, trying to hold her tears back as she read the email from the mysterious Group X.

"What is it, Francine ?", Lynn questioned, rushing in to the computer as fast as she could. Maury stroked his sister's hair to keep her calm. Even the dog, Sunshine looked concerned. Lynn slid the rolling chair over to the computer and felt her heart drop like a heavy stone into the abyss.

"No…NO ! Why ? Oh Lord…", Lynn thought, beginning to cry somewhat. She didn't say much else until she called the police. Soon, Chief Wiggum and Lou were at the door, she handed them the printed version of the email from Group X, and they began their search.

Chapter 4—Police to the Rescue

While the strange captors were searching their hideout for a pen and paper, one of them mentioned he had a laptop.

"Well why didn't you say so, you imbecile ! One of you, please smack him upside the head. I swear to God, Thirteen, you are such an idiot !", the leader said, and another smacked poor Thirteen in the back of the head, harshly. Moe shuddered because the sound was gut-wrenching.

Just then, he heard the familiar tone of Chief Wiggum and Lou, knocking at the door.

"Group X, we know you're in there. Surrender peacefully and this might go easier for you.", the Chief said, firmly but calmly.

The leader of the gang came forward, not saying one word or acting out in malice against them. The police then freed Moe and he wrung his hands free of the pain the ropes had caused him. Backup had been called to load the hooligans in a van and Moe was taken home. He was relieved, but he had been astonished at how much resolve he had had. He had sweat somewhat, but he hadn't been worried.

"It's good you weren't hurt, Moe.", Clancy said, honestly. Moe smiled and let out a sigh again, just glad to be unharmed and the secret to his Flaming Moe locked forever within his ingenious mind.

"Boy, it'll be good to have you back at the bar…", Lou began.

"I agree. The two of you are welcome to free beer as repayment for your good deeds.", Moe said, starting to fall asleep. The kidnapping must have drained more energy out him then he originally thought, but nothing seemed to bother him now. So long as he was with the policemen, he knew he was safe from harm's way.

Chapter 5—Help From the Family

When Moe had returned he had received hugs from his wife and daughter, while Maury had been handling customers at the bar.

"He really wanted to take care of the bar while you were gone, dear.", Lynn said, just happy to have her husband back in her embrace.

"He's quite the go-getter.", Moe said, with a smile, and they ran out to the car after putting Sunshine in the backyard to run around for a bit.

Maury had been keeping the customers at bay and acting as a counselor for them. Even though he was only 7, he could relate to people quite well and was exceptional at being a tremendous listener. If Moe didn't know any better, he could see his son actually becoming a psychologist later on in life. He was passing out a drink that the barflies seemed to enjoy quite a bit.

"Maury !", Moe said, so proud of his little boy that his heart swelled nearly to the point of bursting.

"Dad ? DAD !", Maury said, leaping over the bar counter, just missing a shock of Barney's hair. Barney didn't seem to notice, or care. He was enjoying one of the drinks Maury had mixed for him.

"Maury, my boy !", Moe said, crouching down to look Maury in the eyes and hug him. He kissed him on the forehead. Francine joined in the group hug and sighed peacefully. She was just as glad to see him as everyone else was.

"So, what is everyone going so nutty over, Maur ?", Francine asked curiously.

Lynn mussed up his hair, which he fixed quickly, and he adjusted his tie as well as his apron.

"It's called the Maurhito. I invented it myself. It's a twist on the old-fashioned Mohito.

Tantalizing to the taste buds, yet refreshing to the pallet.", Maury said, with a huge smile.

"This might be even bigger than the Flaming Moe…", Moe thought to himself.

"And they are buying it as fast as I can mix it !", Maury said. Moe asked Maury if he could use the recipe himself, but he would give Maury half of the profit. It was, after all, the Maurhito.

"Maury, you're incredible.", Francine said, complimenting him. He blushed somewhat after hearing his sister's compliment. Moe then took over from there after kissing his wife and kids goodbye.

"We'll see you later dad. Tomorrow, don't forget…We're going to the movies.", Maury reminded him.

"Don't worry, Sunshine will take good care of us while you're gone.", Francine added. Lynn nodded and blew him a kiss, to which the guys made catcalls. As soon as she left in her Cadillac, the guys started going on and on about Lynn.

"Moe, how did you ever bag such a BABE ?!", Barney inquired.

"To this day, I really don't know Barn. I suppose it was simply lucky.", Moe said, with a dreamy look in his eyes again. Homer came in and everyone said hello to him.

"Thank GOD you're alright, Moe. I heard about those Group X bastards. It's a good thing they didn't get that recipe for the Flaming Moe.", Homer said, empathetically.

"Yeah, I am too, Homer. I'm just glad to be back, and among friends. You know, we should all go bowlin' sometime. I'll buy refreshments.", Moe said, as Homer paid for a Duff and Moe filled the mug and slid it down to Homer, who drank it like mother's milk.

"Sounds good to me, just let me know when you have some free time. It'll be good to hang out with the guys again.", Homer agreed. Truth be told, it was great simply to be back where he belonged, and realizing how fortunate he truly was.

Epilogue

When Moe returned home, Sunshine was in her bed, curled up and fast asleep, snuggled up next to a doggie toy she had been given a few weeks before. He smiled sweetly at the family pet and tiptoed quietly into Maury's room. Maury was snoring lightly, snuggling close to a furry teddy bear. Moe gently kissed Maury on the head, which didn't seem to rouse him from his slumber. He crept quietly from Maury's room into Francine's, kissed her as well and then joined his wife. He noticed she was sleeping on her side, turned toward him without even knowing it. In her midnight blue silken nightgown, she was a siren beguiling his eyes. He let out a gentle sigh and nestled his head upon her heart, instantly falling asleep once he began to listen to the lulling beat of her heart. As he slept enveloped by her warmth, he realized again how fortunate he truly was. Every day was a new adventure, and he looked forward to what every new day brought him. He awoke with a spring in his step, love in his heart, and a love for life. It was a feeling he had never known before, but he was glad to be having it now. Though unsure of what the future would bring, the present was what truly mattered. As long as he knew that and the fact that love had been keeping him alive, he would never regret one moment and savor every second of life, whether it was painful of pleasurable.

The End