Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor any of the characters from it.
"Alright let's get this thing over with. Look, you call me up on a Saturday of all days, and before 10 am, you want love and kisses you should have called Yugi, or better yet, Anzu. Huh? No, crap, no let's not start there . . . Fine! Anything to make this conversation end faster."
"Wait, what do I think of Yugi and who? Oh so is that what he's calling himself now. As if wandering around having his friends address him as Yami or Pharaoh wasn't weird enough he has to go and pick some freakish sounding foreign name. Why are we starting this interview off with those two geeks again? They're WHAT?! Fan-fucking-tastic. Schizophrenic and narcissistic. I should have stayed at the stuffy private school but nooo, I just had to have that fourth stupid dragon card."
"No, no, Mokuba's doing fine. He's just as smart as I was at his age, you know. Well why shouldn't I be proud of him? He's smart, he excels at his studies, he's strong enough to protect himself from bullies. . . What? Oh, (cough) you heard about that little incident did you? Of course the other boy was fucking provoking him! How dare you even imply otherwise. Ah, yes, ahem, that is what we both got in trouble for. Um, you are going to omit that word from the interview . . . Of course, of course. Yes, I know you always do. Hm? Oh the interrupted math test? No I had already aced that one. I was just waiting for the others to finish."
"Yes surprisingly. You'd have thought the Dual Monster fad would have died down a long time ago but the interest is still there. Our Dual Disks still fly off the shelves and stocks are up higher than last quarter. The craze is so high that we're not even bothering to pursue anything new just yet. Well it would be a waste of money for one thing. Putting out one of our pet projects at this point would either do one of two things. It would be ignored entirely, or it would go into direct competition with Dual Monsters. Never a wise move to compete with yourself. Ha, I thought you'd pick up on that one. Of course Kaiba Corp has several things on the back burner, we're just waiting for the right moment to introduce them. No I can't tell you what they are. You'll just have to wait like everyone else. Just suffice it to say that a good business man like a good chess player always plans several moves ahead."
"Jeeze, listen to me, a good business man. . . God, I feel old already. Well, with a younger brother to raise and a company to run . . ."
"You really should stop asking that question. The answer is always the same. I don't have the time or the interest in play flirty games with teenage girls. Or boys since you insist on asking. And no, since you put it like that, I'm not going to tell you my preference. Well maybe if you phrase the question more carefully next time then I might consider telling you. What? Why don't I take an interest? I don't know. They're all just so different from me, y'know? Somehow they all seem so much . . . younger."
"Yes, I saw that news story too. No wonder Jounouchi, sorry, the younger Jounouchi, hangs onto his friends so tightly. At least I have Mokuba. His own sibling is kept at a distance by his mother. Just because he resembles his father. That rat bastard who can't keep his ass out of trouble. Right, sorry, the cussing. I don't know, for some reason it just gets under my skin, that he would do something like that, publicly disgracing himself and his son. Not that I know anything about a functional father/son relationship. Heh. Yeah, you're right. That doesn't mean I can't know what's good from what is bad. That his father is useless better be Katsuya's only problem. If I ever find out that the drunkard raises a hand to his son . . . Well, I'm not sure exactly what I'd do but all this money and power has to be good for something."
"Not that he'd ever actually take any money from me. Too proud. Likes to think of himself as manly and independent. Like he's some kind of adult already."
"Hmph. Yeah. I guess you're right again. Maybe we are similar in that regard. Just a couple of lost kids forced to grow up too quickly . . ."
"I think this interview is over. And you had better leave the comments on the Jounouchis off the record. I don't care. Put no comment if you must. Just make me look good like you always do. I have a reputation to keep up."
A/N: This just started as a few sentences on paper really that turned into a short interesting exercise at getting inside the head of my favorite character. This was so much fun to write that I just had to share. Hope it was an interesting read as well.
Oh yeah, the Mokuba "incident" is a reference to Edmondia Dantes' story Possession http://edmo ndia.nocturnalsoldier.or g/possessionpage.htm (remove the spaces.) It's from chapter twelve specifically. I couldn't help it, I just adore that chapter.
June 27, 2007 - just a couple minor edits. Also, fixed the link so that the whole thing shows up now. (grins goofily) Even re-reading this a few months later, I still love how it came out.