Razor-Sharp

Disclaimer: I don't own cats or any of it's characters, they belong to AL.W. and TS.E.

A/N: Rewritten now. Woot. I got inspiration to write this when I read a list of how to annoy the Tugger. It turned out a bit more sinister than intended from the beginning though. Any forms of reviews appreciated.


No Jellicle is awake all 24 hours a day. In fact, they sleep away an awful lot of time, preferably in the afternoons and in those precious hours between midnight and dawn.

Right now it was the latter. Not a sound nor a motion could be heard or seen in the shady junkyard that made up their territory. Not from the pale little tabby's view at least.

She silently sneaked out from the washing machine she had been hiding in. Small gusts of dirt and dust whirled up with every step as she padded lithely over the junkyard. Anyone who saw her now would not recognize her as the giggling hyperactive kitten they were used to.

She frowned and fidgeted: the only outer signs of her frustration. Inside she was fuming with anger and humiliation. How could he be such a complete... idiot!

She glanced quickly over her shoulder and carefully jumped up on the tire. From there she slid down and hid herself under the old TSE's hood. She breathed out. No one had seen her so far.

She struggled not to snort audibly. That... that... fluff-ball! She closed her eyes in humiliation at the thought of the earlier day.


Etcetera loved Rum Tum Tugger, The Rum Tum Tugger, sincerely. Of course it hadn't been like that from the beginning, oh no, it had kind of been come creeping up. At the beginning it had just been a simple crush. A crush that the other queen-kittens soon were quick to pick up on. Of course then she had had to be the loudest, the most adoring, the most worshipping one, just to catch his attention.

Now the other kittens weren't into him very much anymore. One of them, Victoria, had even mated. Etcetera had seen a chance to try telling him about her feelings. The feelings that just grew stronger every day.


Four deep lines were scratched into the ground beneath her left paw. Her right paw was busy, holding a small object. A revengeful grin grew on her face. Who would laugh now, Bomba?

She picked herself up and started to sick-sack her way around the massive junk-mountains that covered this part of the yard. She knew he had his den almost directly on the other side.


It had been just before midday. She had been lying, or more accurately: sitting and jumping, in the sun near the entrance. It was hot, but not too hot. The fall was soon to be nearing. He had entered the junkyard and had walked straight up to her. The second before he opened his mouth she had made up her mind. She would tell him today.

"Tugger there's something I need to talk to you about!" She had had almost no breath left for the last word.

"Say that one more time, and a little slower baby." He winked. Etcetera couldn't help but swoon inside. He was so wonderful, so handsome, so... Everything.


The pathetic, brainless, leather-belted son of a pollicle.
She had told him again, slower, and he had suggested that they'd meet after lunch in the clearing where the ball took place every year. Of course she had agreed. She would have been going there directly to wait if he hadn't told her that she wasn't allowed to. That he was preparing something.
She rounded a dark corner, crossed another clearing and was facing a big den. It was an old cardboard-box that lay on its side. She took a deep breath. A weak, almost whispering, wind brought a trace of his smell to her sensitive nose. She let out a little squeak.

A swift movement and her white tail tip was everything that stuck out from behind the den.


Lightheartedly, she had been going from the lunch at her owner's house straight to the junkyard. She had met The Tugger, (no, just Tugger, he wasn't worth a the anymore), halfway to the clearing. When they were almost there she couldn't keep quiet anymore.

"Tugger, I love you, truelily and deepily and has always done and will always do and well maybe haven't always but almost always and you must knowsothatyouandIcan..." A leather-dressed paw was indolently placed over her mouth. She swooned inside again.

"In just a moment, puss." Puss! He had been calling her puss. She stopped happily in her steps. Puss, as if he suggested something, as if he had meant something. She pressed her paws to her chest and felt her heart beat.


After going one lap around the den, making sure no one had heard her, she slunk into it. The Tugger-scent was so strong in here. Even more concentrated in such a small space. She stopped and paused for a while, taking deep lustful breaths. Then she forced herself to look around. There were a lot of unidentifiable things tossed all over the den, but what was dominating the den was a big pile of pillows and...

There! Target identified! She had just a little clue about what that meant, but the magical box at home said it all the time when the young boy sat in front of it. Usually it was followed by some kind of explosion. She moved carefully in the dark den. It wasn't light enough.

Now what? Then an idea struck her. She carefully opened the upper flap of the flipped cardboard. There. Now it was light enough. "But what if he wakes up? The thought made her blood run cold for a second. "No he won't wake up. I won't let him. If he does, I'll knock him unconscious." Etcetera thought. The revengeful grin spread once again on her face as she sat down to start her work.


Tugger had been a going a few steps forward and were now in the edge part of the clearing. He placed one thumb in the belt, raised the other one to give her a sign to move forward and winked. She had only taken two steps forward when he made a sign to stop. The second after the most terrible thing happened.

A huge bucket full of dirty dish-water was poured straight over her. Now, a normal bucket big for a cat, but it's huge for a kitten.

When she opened her eyes a few seconds later, Bombalurina stood there, next to Tugger, laughing. Tugger laughed, the entire junkyard laughed at her.

"You pathetic little kitten!" Bombalurina said in a condescending and amused voice. Tugger laughed at her statement and Etcetera felt like she wanted to die. She gave him a hurt and hateful glare, but he just laughed even more.

He and Bombalurina turned to leave. He placed an arm around her waist and she entangled her claws in his wonderful golden mane as they walked away. The last she heard, was the scarlet queen's, now the devil personified's, voice, begging him to tell her about his next prank.

Etcetera glared at Tugger's back. So it was he then. It was he, who she had loved and trusted, that had made her look like a fool in front of the entire junkyard. "Well, like a fool I manage to look by myself, thank you." she confessed. But Tugger, he had... He had... A voice interrupted her before she finished the sentence.

"You didn't really think that someone like him would pay interest to someone like you, did you now?"

The voice came from the sleek Abyssinian known as Cassandra. Etcy and that queen had never gotten along well, and now, her she was. Reveling in Etceteras misery. Another snooty comment followed:

"I would go clean myself up if I were you. You stink!" Upon hearing that, Etcetera had turned on her heal and run.


Now, after several minutes of work, the mane of Tugger was merely a memory. Scattered all over the soft pillows in his den. She considered her work done, smiled and picked up the little razor she had stolen from her family. Still it didn't look like the work wasn't really finished. She smiled, grabbed the little lock on his forehead and with a quick movement of the razor, she had it. With a piece of found wool firmly tied around the lock, it made a perfect souvenir.

She grinned wider. Perhaps, she would give it to Bombalurina.


A/N: Big credit to Jellicle-in-the-box, who took time to correct all my scarcity of knowledge in the English grammar.