This is my first fan fiction, ever. I also have never written a romance, ever. That said, I would like you to be as clear and helpful (read: harsh) as possible in your critiques order that I can improve. This is a SakuraxNeji story, with some hints of InoxShikamaru and HinataxNaruto. Naruto and all related characters are property of not-me.
Chapter One
It was ridiculous, just ridiculous. She was an elite kunoichi, and she was confounded by her own deadbolt. Sakura grimaced as she eyed her doorknob, slightly blackened from the chakra she'd pumped into it in an attempt to disable the lock. Apparently the locksmith's claims about his nin-proofed locks weren't just advertising gimmicks. Sakura ran her hand through her hair and considered her options.
She could always climb up the back way, five stories, to the balcony door. She wasn't sure if she'd locked that one. However, such a route would take her past her landlady's window, and old Mrs. Maehashi had certain views on women as shinobi. As long as Sakura stayed in her medic role, Mrs. Maehashi turned a blind eye, but if the old bat so much as caught wind of Sakura engaged in something so unladylike as combat training—Sakura didn't want to think of the possibilities.
She could wait by the door until Ino got home. Sakura sucked with annoyance on her lower lip. Ino wouldn't be returning to their apartment until late. Actually, Ino might not bother to return at all today if her lazy boyfriend had anything to say about it. And Sakura wasn't patient enough to wait for her in any case.
That left Sakura with one final, painfully bitter option—return to the scene of her latest humiliation to retrieve her keys.
Barring, of course, the recent humiliation of being confounded by her own front door.
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The day had begun well enough, no change in the wind signaling her impending doom. Sakura had been looking forward to her day off all week: she had a salon appointment to trim up the dead ends on her bob, and was seriously considering a facial to help her unwind. Then she would go to the market and pick up a few things to make a delicious dinner, then maybe she'd visit her parents—maybe not. She wanted to de-stress. Definitely no visiting her parents today. Then she'd stop by the hospital to be absolutely sure no one needed her help. Taking a day off was never particularly easy for Sakura.
On her way to the salon, however, she'd been sidetracked by a certain Hyuuga, nervously chewing her lip across the block from a certain ramen stand. The determined look in her eye, however, belied her nervous posturing: she seemed to be gearing herself up for something.
"Hi, Hinata," Sakura chirped pleasantly. "What's up?"
Hinata started at Sakura's voice, her pale eyes going wide in fear. Hinata smiled faintly, however, when she recognized Sakura.
"Oh, hello, Sakura…n-n-nothing much. How are you t-today?" A faint blush tinted her cheeks and she looked shyly at her sandals; her aura of resolve was crumbling quickly.
"I'm okay." Sakura scanned the scene around her, looking for the source of Hinata's distress—a pair of broad shoulders supporting a head of spiky blond hair seemed the obvious answer. Naruto Uzumaki was just leaving the ramen stand and waved at the two women enthusiastically, obliviously.
"Hey, Sakura, hey, Hinata! Nice weather we're having today, huh?"
Sakura cast a quizzical glance at Hinata, whose blush deepened. To each their own, she supposed—but still. As dear a friend as Naruto was to her, Sakura couldn't imagine what Hinata found romantically attractive about him.
Then it clicked. Hinata had been steeling up to approach finally Naruto, a day practically the entire village had been waiting for since the chuunin exams eight years ago, and Sakura ruined the moment. Though the shy Hyuuga heiress had grown significantly bolder in the past eight years, she was still fragile when it came to matters of the heart. Sakura groaned inwardly. She'd better remedy the situation, and quickly.
"Hey, Naruto! Wait up!" Sakura grabbed Hinata by her pale wrist and dragged her down the street at a brisk trot towards Naruto's tall form. "Hinata and I were wondering if you wanted to go shopping with us this afternoon. We were looking for some new combat gear and wanted your opinion." Oh, brilliant, Uzumaki was sure to love shopping as much as the next man. "I'll buy you some new kunai for your trouble," she continued in an effort to sweeten the deal.
Naruto's blue eyes widened. "Gee, really? Yeah, of course, Sakura, I'd love to help you guys out." He beamed brightly, his chest swelled a little with pride. "I do have quite the extensive knowledge of combat gear. It's good you thought to ask me. What are you two ladies looking for?" He turned his bright eyes to Hinata questioningly.
Hinata fidgeted shyly in Sakura's grasp, her face about as red as a cherry. "Oh, uhm…uhm…" Sakura pondered the adorable couple they were going to make. This was so great! She was a hero.
"Mostly medical supplies, wasn't it, cousin?" A cool voice cut deep into Sakura's reverie. "Something Haruno here would be far better suited to help her with than you, Uzumaki."
Sakura felt Hinata tense up even more under her grip, but neither turned to meet the steely gaze they both felt piercing their backs. Naruto, however, threw Sakura a slightly exasperated glance. "I don't know anything useful about medical supplies, Sakura, I thought you wanted to look for something interesting!"
"Medical supplies are perfectly interesting when they're saving your life, idiot!" came her quick retort, the heat of Neji Hyuuga's gaze bringing her short temper to boil.
"S-Sakura, maybe we should g-go shopping another time." Hinata's voice was so quiet Sakura had to lean in to catch her words, and Hinata took advantage of the moment to recover her hand, in order to fidget with her fingers.
Naruto looked deeply apologetic, "Nah, Hinata, I don't mind carrying your bags or something while you an Sakura shop for—for—medical stuff…" He'd obviously been looking for a more descriptive word, and his hand grasped thoughtfully at the air as thought it was physically eluding him. Hinata ducked carefully back from his fingertips.
Neji's hand crept protectively onto his cousin's shoulder and pulled her closer to him, out of Naruto's grasp. "I also would like to accompany you on your shopping excursion today. Perhaps then we can discuss some business." His voice was impassive, but his eyes, which had finally caught hold of Sakura's gaze, were hard and irritated.
Sakura felt her mouth go dry. That penetrating gaze—it became clear what made Neji Hyuuga such an effective ANBU captain. He radiated power. However, Sakura would not let herself be cowed so easily.
"You can carry my bags, Hyuuga," she quipped, turning on her heel toward the shopping district.
And, being the brilliant author I am, I have left you, the reader, in the middle of Sakura's flashback sequence, and I didn't even inform you how her keys went missing. Well, that problem should be resolved at the end of the second chapter. Again, any critiques will be deeply appreciated.