Author's note: Fred, Tonks, Lupin and Mad-eye get killed in the 7th Harry Potter book and Harry survives and kills Voldemort.

Cody soon turned Zack over again and spread his hot, hairy cheeks to gape at the warm hole in front of him. "Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," said a voice from within.

"What the hell is that?" yelled Cody. As he peered inside. At once, Lt. Sulu emerged, covered in warm sticky juices. He was shortly followed by Paris Hilton and Lemmingwinks.

"You have completed your quest and escaped the young boy's ass," said the Sparrow Prince. They soon left the room in single-file and closed the door on their way out.

"..." Zack and Cody just stared in confusion as the four ass-spelunkers left the room. Amidst the confusion, Cody's penis had gone flaccid and limp. "Well, back to where we were then," Cody said as he started to move towards Cody. "Here we-"

"OOOOHH!" moaned someone from the other room.

"That sounds like Mom!" said Zack as he rushed towards the door. "I think she's crying."

They both ran into the living room and found their mom on her back on the couch, being nailed hard by Captain Kirk. Zack and Cody stared in disbelief as they saw Kirk turn their mom on her stomach and go where no man has gone before.

"Would you mind wearing this green face paint?" asked the Captain. A second Captain Kirk soon walked into the room. It changed into a Klingon and Zack realized it was a changeling. The changeling started "kneeing" their mom in the crotch and she began to moan wildly.

"What are you doing?!" screamed Cody.

"Not all creatures keep their genitals in the same place," explained the changeling.

"That's it, I've got to go take a leak," said Zack. "I've had enough of this crap." He walked into the bathroom and whipped it out to piss. He heard breathing and looked towards the shower and saw Christopher Walken. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY SHOWER!?"

"Well, son, I'm watching you pee," said Christopher Walken in his increasingly disturbing drawl. Zack backed away slowly and heard something that sounded like an explosion in the lobby. He walked past his mom being double-penetrated in the ass by double Kirks and went to the elevator. Upon arriving in the lobby, he saw the guys from Dragonball Z who wear the tights and the armor and have tails fighting with the Ambiguously Gay Duo: Ace and Gary. "KAMEHAMEHA!" yelled the gay anime dude, but Ace swallowed it like so many other "shots" aimed at his face. All the while, Maddie was on her back while Dr. Bashir teabagged her.

"What?" he asked as Zack stared at him. "It's tea-time, you stupid American."

But suddenly, everything went black and Zack found himself on the platform for the Triwizard tournament's round where they have to rescue their friends from the mer-folk in Hogwart's lake. He saw Harry, Krum, Fleur, and Diggory poised on the ready line. "AND GO!!!" yelled the announcer guy. All, but Harry dived into the lake and cast various spells on themselves to tolerate the water. "Harry, what are you doing, he said GO?!" asked Neville excitedly." Harry grinned and raised his wand.

ACCIO NITROGLYCERIN, SAW DUST, AND EMPTY PIPES!!!

"And Snape says I suck at potions," said Harry as he grinned madly before pouring the ingredients into the pipes and attaching fuses. He lit the fuses with his wand and tossed them into the lake.

"Blimey Harry! Is this some powerfull spell?" Neville asked.

"Not quite." It's what muggles call dynamite fishing. BOOM!!! A great surge of water rose from the lake as the fuses ran out and ignited the dynamite. At once, what was left of the giant squid hurled from the water and all the mer-people and his competition and friends rose to the surface dead.

"HARRY, EVEN RON AND HERMIONE ARE DEAD!!!"

"Yep, did not think that one through."

THE END

P.S. Message me for a picture of what Christopher Walken looks like when he watches you pee or if you want him to watch you pee.