Chapter Four

Bobby felt pain and panic rising in him. Nothing in his life had been as good as these past months with Alex, not even his joy in learning and in doing his job well. Every pleasure he had ever felt was nothing compared to how she made him feel. And now, because of what he put her through, because of his plan, she was in pain. "I must love her," he thought. "Nothing else could hurt like this." He knew she hadn't told him all of the details of what the agent had said to her, but Bobby had heard enough and knew enough about Alex to recognize that all of her vulnerabilities had been pulled out of her and shredded. Bobby knew all too well what that felt like. As he rubbed his hand along his neck, he desperately ran his mind through their past conversations to search for something to say to break down the wall between them.

He found something. "Alex," he began…

"Bobby, go away…just, leave…I need to be alone." Her voice was distant and lost in her cocoon.

"I will, I'll go if you really want me to. But please, just let me say something…" His voice began pleading, but gained strength and confidence as he went on as if saying the words increased his belief in them. "You told me once that…that we needed to be each other's armour. We could…protect…we could protect each other, defend each other's weaknesses. You covered me, you filled in the gaps. Please, let me…please let me try to…to cover you…to help you. Please." He stood in the dark quiet for a long time.

He had given up and was about to leave when he heard her give a small cry. He looked back at the bed and saw Alex sitting up and reaching out to him. Bobby was kneeling by the bed in an instant, and reached up to wrap himself around her. Alex clung to him and began to weep in a steady stream. She buried her head against his shoulder and her body shook in his arms. Bobby held her and gently stroked her hair and her arms. Neither of them understood what Bobby was saying—he simply kept murmuring soft, gentle words.

Alex's tears finally eased. Bobby still held her.

"What," he whispered, "Do you want? What can I do?"

"I want to be clean," she answered. "Clean and warm and safe."

Bobby pulled away from her. "I can do that," he said. "Give me a few minutes?"

"Of course," she nodded. Alex wiped her eyes and nose on her sweatshirt sleeve. She saw the light go on in the bathroom, and then heard the sound of running water. Bobby seemed to rummaging about the apartment. He returned to her in a few minutes holding one of her largest, fluffiest towels. He laid the towel on the bed, and then reached for her.

"Please," he said, beckoning for her to come to him.

Alex stood up, and Bobby gently lifted the sweatshirt over her head. He undid her bra, and then helped her out of her sweatpants and underwear. He was kneeling before her, and raised his head to place a soft kiss on her lips. He kissed and touched every part of her, and each kiss and touch warmed and healed her. When he was finished, he picked up the towel and wrapped it around her. Bobby stood up, and swiftly swept Alex up in his arms. A warm feeling rose up and out of Alex, and she giggled.

"Hey," Bobby said. "This is my big romantic gesture. Don't laugh."

Alex smiled at him. He sat her down next to the tub filled with bubble bath. The room glowed with several candles. He uncurled the towel, and helped her step into the tub. Alex sank into the warm, fragrant water. Bobby kissed her on the top of her head. "I'll be back soon," he promised.

Alex drifted in and out of near sleep for the next few minutes. She thought she heard running water again, and Bobby returned carrying her largest pitcher. He knelt next to the tub, and lifted Alex's head and began to wash her hair. Alex never realized that such a simple task could be so sensual and kind. Bobby's long, elegant hands wove in and out of her hair and pressed against her scalp. He rinsed it with the water in the pitcher, and then picked up a washcloth. Slowly, softly, gently, he ran the cloth over her body, tenderly touching the bruises, reaching between her legs with infinite care. Bobby watched as Alex began to glow from the warm water and the sweet soap. "Time to rinse," he said and unplugged the tub. As the water drained, he filled the pitcher and poured the water over Alex again and again. He helped her to her feet, and wrapped the towel around her.

"I'll get your pajamas," he said as he turned to go.

"No..Bobby…I want you around me. Just you." Her voice filled him with so much that he had to lean against the doorframe to keep from falling. He turned back to her, picked her up, and carried her to the bed. He helped her out of the towel, and then quickly undressed. Bobby slid in beside her, and she turned towards him.

"Whatever you want, Bobby," she said.

"This," he said, wrapping himself around her. "This is what I want."

They slept.

Bobby awoke to the sun poking through Alex's window blind. Just as he stirred, Alex moved in his arms. She smiled up at him as she became fully conscious. He lifted himself on an elbow and smiled at her.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hey, yourself." Alex let her hand softly trail down Bobby's chest. She started.

"Bobby…" Her voice was full of discovery and something Bobby couldn't quite define—joy?

"Yes?" he said puzzled.

"You're still naked. You," she paused for a moment. "You're without your armour."

Bobby looked at her in amazement, and then pulled her to him. "No, neither of us is. We've got the strongest armour in the world."

END