Chapter Eleven
In all his life, Seth had never seen a spring as glorious as this one. The birds' songs had never been so animated, the sun never so golden, nor the sky so perfectly blue. In the distance, the pennants atop the towers of castle Renais, snapping in the breeze, seemed to wave to him, welcoming him home.
They had remained in Caer Pelyn until the thaw had thoroughly set in and Seth's surviving troops had all had time to rest and begin to recover from their ordeal. Vanessa had been hard pressed to leave Syrene's side, but soon after their arrival she had taken her pegasus and soared through the frigid mountain air again to get a message home and share the happy news. Thanks to her, a proper convoy with a carriage for Eirika, Seth, and Caradoc, and horses for the soldiers, had been waiting for them in Jehanna when the snow had begin to clear from the mountain paths and they'd made the final leg of the journey out of the Caer Pelyn Range.
Much like his son, for the first week Seth had not had the energy to do more than sleep and eat– and sometimes rock Caradoc in his arms. He could hardly describe the joy that rushed though him every time his son's small eyes opened and looked up at him as they did now. The rocking motion of the carriage as they moved along the roadway towards castle Renais seemed to soothe Caradoc, who had begun keeping odd hours and waking frequently at night– much to his parents' distress. Even so, it was amazing to pick him up, tend his needs, soothe him back to sleep, and know that he was Caradoc's father. He was a father. The very thought set him grinning ear to ear.
"I wish I'd been there when he was born," Seth said.
Eirika brushed her fingers over his cheek, smiling. It was a relief to him to no longer have a scraggly beard on his chin. "I know," she whispered and leaned her head against him. She was seated to his left so as not to bother his right shoulder, which was still stiff and painfully sensitive. "I have a present for you when we get home."
"Oh?" he said, eyebrows raised.
She smiled. "Wait and see." And then she pressed her lips to his.
When they arrived in the castle courtyard they found a crowd waiting for them. A cheer like a dragon's bellow rose from the assembled men and women. Servants handed Eirika down from the carriage and from there Seth handed her their son while he clambered out himself, stifling a groan at the stiffness in his shoulder. It was improving with the advent of the warmer weather, but slowly.
Seth smiled to see Ross pushing through the crowd shouting "Dad!" while Forde was clapping Kyle on the back. "You look terrible, Kyle!" Forde announced with a grin.
"And you look sickeningly healthy," Kyle replied, a wry smile curving his lips.
"Eirika!" The crowd parted for the King and Queen of Renais and the young princess who trotted along with them. Ephraim enveloped his sister in a hug and Seth was a little surprised when all at once he found Tana embracing him and Elin wrapping her arms around his leg.
"It's so good to see you safe," Tana said, beaming.
"It's good to be home," Seth replied. And then, with a smile, he reached down to scoop up his niece. "Hello, little one." She laughed as he mussed her hair. "Would you like to meet your cousin?" She nodded, her face gleeful. Soon they were all gathered around Eirika who held Caradoc in her arms and positively glowed as she showed him off to her family.
Soon half the castle seemed to have gathered around Eirika to catch a glimpse of the young lordling and offer them both their congratulations. Seth was relieved when Ephraim took him aside to the far corner of the courtyard.
"It's good to have you back," Ephraim said, clasping Seth's hand in both of his and shaking it. He glanced over his shoulder to where Eirika was still surrounded by a host of servants, friends, and comrades. "She'd never have forgiven me if anything had happened to you, you know."
"Of course, she would have," Seth replied. "She's your sister."
"Well I wouldn't have. Master Saleh sent word about the problems with your shoulder." Ephraim shook his head. "You should have told me about it. I never would have sent you out in winter if I'd known." He paused for a moment and, once more, Seth saw that certain look on Ephraim's face that reminded him of the late king, of how he would fix you with his eyes and make you feel he was peering into your soul. "Let me guess... that's exactly why you didn't tell me about it."
"Sire..."
Ephraim crossed his arms over his chest and Seth found himself uncertain whether he was dealing with the king or his brother-by-marriage. Either way, Ephraim's pose made it clear that he would brook no argument. "Seth, you're important to this kingdom, and like it or not your son is of royal blood."
"I know, sire." Seth bowed his head.
"Your experience in battle is an asset to Renais even when you're not on the field. As a king I need to know what your limits are so I can make sound tactical decisions... And as your brother I also want to keep you in one piece." Seth looked up to meet Ephraim's eyes. "Seth," Ephraim said slowly, "you're also part of this family. And, you know, you always were."
Seth's eyes wandered to the crowd still hovering around his wife and child. He managed to catch her eye for a moment and smiled.
"Thank you, Ephraim."
When the crowd had thinned out somewhat he was able to rejoin Eirika. The nurse arrived a moment later to take charge of Caradoc and Elin and it was only then, as he and his wife walked the halls of their home again alongside Ephraim and Tana, that he asked about the state of the things in Carcino.
"The truce is holding," Ephraim said. "We were lucky to be able to capture Haren when we did." His eyes wandered to his sister. Ephraim had certainly been worried; Seth knew that feeling all too well. "I only wish–"
"No," Eirika cut in, shaking her head. "I'm fine. We're all here now; that's what matters."
Seth glimpsed Tana squeezing Ephraim's hand. Ephraim darted a glance in her direction, gave a slight nod, and then continued. "We were able to tell them we'd caught the man who was suspected of poisoning Klimt. He's been stone silent, but it's been enough to keep the two factions from killing each other." He heaved a sigh. "There have been riots, though. Bad ones. They say Kartan city hall burned to the ground."
"All this because of Guernic," Tana said, hands clenched at her sides. "He's as bad as his father was!"
Eirika shook her head. "Gustav and Guernic both ended up carrying on the war their fathers began. It should have ended with the defeat of Grado..."
Ephraim sighed. "Now that we have Guernic it should be over for good. I hear he's been more willing to talk than Haren?"
"Indeed," replied Seth. The man had been willing to say anything to get himself out of the spot he'd been in. More than once Seth had been tempted to strip Guernic bare and leave him to fend for himself in the mountains. He deserved no less. "He's confessed to recruiting mercenaries out of Jehanna and bringing them in through his lands. He paid them, equipped them, and manipulated the conflict with them. He had them attack Frelian lands in order to escalate the conflict. The worse the fighting, the more he stood to earn in the long run."
"And Haren?" Ephraim asked.
"Haren was from valleys near Caer Pelyn but went to Jehanna to earn his living as a mercenary there. They met during the war. Guernic also confessed to paying Haren to poison Klimt and making sure Councilman Edvard took the blame."
For a time the only sounds were of the echos of their footsteps in the castle hallways and those of the guards and servants who saluted, bowed, or curtsied as they passed by. They came to a halt when they reached the doors to their respective quarters.
"Guernic stood to make a fortune selling arms, didn't, he?" Eirika said all at once.
Ephraim nodded. "And when it was over he would have been there to pick up the pieces. As one of the few councilmen who managed to remain neutral, the others would have looked to him for leadership once the conflict ended." He turned to Seth and gripped his left shoulder. "If you'd not gone south, he might have succeeded. Thank you, Seth."
Seth bowed his head. "I did my duty. Nothing more."
"You're officially on leave until further notice. You and everyone else. I want you to rest and train yourself up again. Is that clear?"
"Yes, sire."
"And," Ephraim added, a smile quirking his lips, "I fully expect you to spend obscene amounts of time with my sister and my nephew."
Seth smiled, his arm snaking around Eirika's waist. "Yes, your highness."
Ephraim nodded his approval. "Good. Now go and get ready for the banquet we're having in everyone's honour. We'll see you at supper."
ooo
"I thought I might find you here."
Sitting in the nursery, humming a lullaby to his son, Seth felt his heart soothed as it had not been by the toasts and songs in the great hall where the banquet was being held for the returning soldiers and their families. The Frelians would continue home in a day or two and ceremonies would be held for those who had not returned, but tonight was meant for celebration. Yet Seth had found himself ill at ease, even among the men and women he knew so well. He had eaten his fill– rather more quickly than was polite, he realized– and excused himself. He'd not thought Eirika would follow after him so quickly.
She stood in the doorway, smiling on him as he rocked their son in his arms. As had become her habit, she wore a sword at her side, and now more than ever he was thankful. Once again she had had to draw a blade to protect herself. Once again he had not been able to shield her from harm.
"How's our little darling?" she asked, coming to kneel beside him so that she could stroke Caradoc's face ever so gently.
"Quiet," Seth replied. "For now." They exchanged wry smiles. It had been an experience indeed to be responsible for his care with only Hestia's occasional help. Seth could only wonder at the peasant families with many children and neither servants nor nurses to aid them. How did they survive the nights of being woken by their infants' cries? Even so, he was thankful to be able to care for his son. Holding him, he felt he held in his arms the greatest treasure this world had to offer.
"In a little while the nurse is going to come in here and suggest we be on our way."
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
Eirika sniffed. "I'm told she has orders from my dear brother himself to make sure we let her do her job and take care of our son while we get our rest."
It would be strange to not have Caradoc in the room with them. He'd gotten used to it these past weeks, used to having those he most loved close by. He reached out and stroked Eirika's hair, and for a time they remained in silence, watching their son sleep.
"Syrene was looking quite a bit better today, wasn't she?" Eirika said after a while.
Seth nodded. "She's much improved." Though she was still unsteady on her feet, she could walk again and would fully recover given time. Tana had been almost as happy to see Syrene as she had been to see him and Eirika, embracing her quite thoroughly and making a proper fuss over her former retainer. Ephraim had been equally glad to have Kyle back at his side. There had been a great deal of joy– reunions at every turn... yet he had only wanted to leave as soon as he could.
"Seth?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you, why you left so early?"
"I–" He broke off as the door opened with a creak and the nurse poked her head into the room.
"I think we're about to be banished," Eirika said. She placed a kiss on Caradoc's brow and whispered goodnight to him before Seth handed him over to the nurse who shooed them both out, reminding them that the king had ordered them to rest.
They walked in silence down the hall to their quarters. Their bedchambers seemed lavish compared to the simple cottage room they'd shared in Caer Pelyn. There, against the far wall, was their curtained bed, where they'd made love for the first time, where they'd conceived their son. It was here that he could most be himself, where he could shed his armour and be neither the General of Renais, nor the Silver Knight, but only Seth. Just as she could set aside the burden of her rank here.
"I felt ill at ease," he said finally, hanging his head.
Eirika reached out to brush her fingers over his cheek. "Why? You were among friends, comrades."
"I know, but I..." He raised his head to look her in the eyes, gripping her shoulders as he spoke. "When I heard you'd been hurt I was..." His hands clenched around her shoulders. "I was terrified."
"I'm sorry," she whispered. She put her arms around him and leaned into him. "I needed to know– or at the least I needed to feel I was doing something. I never thought I'd be endangering myself or Caradoc."
"I know," he replied, "but when I learned of it... The mercenaries didn't know whether you'd lived or died. After that all I could think of was reaching Caer Pelyn and knowing what had become of you. I let Kyle decide what to do with our forces. I'd have gone alone if he'd decided to go north instead. I'd have left them all behind just to find out what had happened to you," he said holding her face in his hands. "And now it shames me to sit and eat with them." A mirthless laugh passed his lips. "Yet even now I would do the same."
"Do you really believe that anyone would think the less of your for it? Do you think the others would have done differently for that matter?"
Her smile was as gentle as it had been in all his dreams and in the bleary visions that had wavered before his eyes as he'd trudged up the mountain on feet numb with cold, his head aching in the thin air.
"Eirika..."
"You're not just a knight. You're a husband and a father and a man– imperfect as any other." Her lips twitched for an instant. "Well perhaps not any other."
"Yes but..." He sighed. "Those men and women were my responsibility. It was my duty to see to their safety and I'd have abandoned that duty."
"Seth, listen to me," she said, her tone serious as she moved to sit on the edge of their bed and pulled him down next to her. "When I duelled with Haren..." She paused, her gaze distant for a moment, and then looked up at him. "I offered to let him go," she said. "I knew he could be key to ending the war in Carcino, but I couldn't bear the thought of risking our child's life– not even for the good of an entire country. I'd have let him go."
He embraced her. He felt the warmth of her body against him, the heat of her breath on his neck, her arms entwined around him. "You should never have had to make such a decision. But I'm glad. I'm glad..."
"I was raised to bear the responsibilities of my position," she told him. "I would risk my life for Renais... but to risk my child's safety..." She shook her head. "I felt the same as you at first but I just don't see how I could be a princess first and a mother second. I pray Ephraim never has to choose between our kingdom and his children."
"You've been thinking about this for a long while, haven't you?"
She nodded. "I was in Caer Pelyn for three months," she explained. "Vanessa, Master Saleh, the villagers– everyone was very kind to me and kept me company, but even so I had a great deal of time to think. Which reminds me..." She rose and went to fetch something across the room. When she returned he saw she was holding what appeared to be a bundle of letters tied together by a ribbon. "Here. The present I mentioned."
"What..."
She smiled as she sat down next to him once again. "I wrote to you while you were away. I wrote all about Caradoc... and about everything that happened."
He untied the ribbon and unfolded the first letter. His eyes scanned the neatly written words, her penmanship elegant, practiced from childhood just as he had trained with a sword since he'd been old enough to lift one. The letters spoke plainly of her worry for him, her longing for his presence, and the growing awareness of the life inside her, of their child.
Having read through the first letter, he set it down and began the second. He was setting it down and looking to the third when the touch of her hand on his arm brought him back to himself. "I need to go back down to the banquet hall for a while," she told him.
He nodded. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice suddenly hoarse.
She smiled and brought her lips to his cheek, placing the lightest of kisses there and then departing without a word. Seth turned his attention back to the letters.
ooo
Our comrades, our kingdom, Magvel itself– in that moment I'd have traded them all for the safety of our child. In that moment I was less a princess than I have ever been in all my life. Duty was as little to me as desert sand, bravery even less. I'd have fled if I could, even if it meant being thought a coward. All I wanted was to protect our child. How could I do otherwise? I wonder sometimes... In his last moments, did my father feel the same way? Did he think of me as his child or only as his heir? When he sent me away was it to protect his daughter or to ensure the survival or Renais' royal line?
"Seth, have you been reading all this time?"
Seth looked up from the letter. He'd not even heard Eirika come in, so intent had he been upon her letter. This one had caught him somehow; he'd read it again and again, turning it over in his mind. It was like learning swordsmanship as a young man, like a manoeuvre he could not quite master, and repeated until it made sense to his limbs, to all the sinews of his body.
"Has it been that long?" he asked. "I hardly noticed."
"It's late. Everyone's heading off to bed." He had paused at one point to remove his doublet, but had undressed no further than that, unable to tear himself away from the packet of letters for more than a moment.
In silence, he watched her undress for bed. He admired the litheness of her body, the strength of her limbs, the curve of her hips and breasts, wonders none other could behold. His eyes lingered on her right shoulder where Haren's blade had struck. She had had Saleh heal even the scar and Seth suspected it was so that he would not be reminded of it and feel ashamed that he'd not been there to protect her, as was his duty and his desire. As a general of Renais her safety had never been his direct responsibility before the war. That had changed the day Renais had fallen and her father had told him to flee with her. Her father...
"Eirika?" he said as she finished dressing, for all at once he knew for certain what it was about the letter that had unsettled him so. She came to sit next to him on the edge of their bed. "This letter... could we talk about this for a moment?"
Concern marred her features, her brow crinkling, her lips thinning to a line. "Which one?"
"The one you wrote after facing Haren."
"Are you... angry with me?" The look on her face was one of such utter vulnerability that it tore at his heart and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him.
"Never, my love," he said as he stroked her hair and revelled at the softness of her skin against his neck and the way her lips brushed his collar bone. "I only wanted to ask about your father." He could feel the tension in her body as he said it and he held her all the more tightly. "You wrote of his last moments when he ordered me to escape the castle with you. What brought that to mind?"
Eirika took a deep breath and then began to speak. "When I became with child I started dreaming about the fall of Renais... and my father." She kept her voice steady, but he felt the tremor that ran through her. He held her closer against him. "He never said anything to me the last time I saw him; he barely even looked at me."
"The castle was about to fall," Seth replied, cradling Eirika in his arms, knowing he was helpless to wash away the memory of that day. His heart grew heavy to think of it for he, too, had been helpless, unable to protect his king, his country; it had been all he could do to protect the one he loved. "King Fado– your father– wanted to see to your safety; it was the foremost thought in his mind. And..." His thoughts lingered on Caradoc's face, his dark eyes, and his tiny hands. "I think it must be very difficult to say goodbye to your child." For several moments they were both silent and in that time Seth gathered his courage. "There's something else."
She drew back to look at him "What do you mean?"
"That day..." He trailed off and cleared his throat, all at once wishing he were wearing his sword and armour. As it was, with him in nothing but his breeches, he felt more than a little disarmed.
"Seth?"
"There's something I should likely have told you long ago."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
Seth drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Let me start at the beginning." And so he did, for he remembered that day with a clarity so vivid that it might have been yesterday. After all, the entire course of his life had changed on that day...
ooo
"Now that I've told you about the bracelets you understand, don't you?" King Fado's voice resounded on the marble stone of the of the throne room, empty save for the two of them. The king's face, however, was haggard, dark circles beneath his eyes, deep creases in his brow. He seemed older today than Seth had ever seen him look, far older than his years. But then his son was missing and Grado's forces, moving towards the castle en masse. "If Ephraim should be captured, the bracelet Eirika wears will be all that protects Renais' Sacred Stone."
"I understand, sire." Seth remained kneeling at the foot of the dias on which the king's throne was set and he found himself thinking that his father must have knelt in this same spot the day, a decade ago, when he had been given his final orders. For a moment the king was silent and Seth waited to receive his own orders, his last in all likelihood. He was not a fool; he knew their forces were no match for Grado's army, and though Grado had once been their closest ally, they now attacked without mercy.
"Should Grado's forces reach the castle gates, I will remain here," the king announced. Seth steeled himself; he had prepared his entire life for this moment.
"Sire, I will fight by your side to the very end."
"No."
Seth's heart sank and his head, bowed until now, snapped up to look into his king's face."Wha–"
"Hear me." Had he been found lacking in some way? Had he unknowingly caused the king some offence? Yet there was no reproach in Fado's features as Seth searched his face for a clue as to his liege's intentions. Instead, his expression softened, the lines of tension melting away as he spoke. "She cannot lose us all, Seth," Fado said gently, with all the tenderness of a concerned father.
"My liege?" Seth said uncertainly. The king could only be speaking of Princess Eirika, and this unsettled Seth more than he liked to admit. He would give his life for King Fado, but for Eirika... There was nothing he would not do for her and it shamed him to think that his heart could so overreach his place; he was, after all, only a knight.
"Ephraim's fate is uncertain; mine may well be already sealed." Fado rose. He paced on the dias before his throne, his hands clasped behind his back. After a moment he stopped and looked down upon Seth, who remained kneeling. "You care for Eirika, don't you?"
Seth's stomach lurched and suddenly his hands were slick with sweat and his throat, dry. He found he could not meet the king's eyes; he instead found himself studying the patterns of the marble floor with great intensity. "Majesty?" he managed after clearing his throat a few times.
The king descended the steps of the dias and came to stand next to Seth. All his life he had lived in and around the castle, but never, even when being presented to the king for the first time as a squire, as green and foolish as any young man, had Seth felt as ungainly as he did at this moment. It was true that Fado had treated him like a second son, but even so...
"Seth, please look at me." Seth gathered his nerve and did as his king asked. Fado's air was earnest, but his face had none of the harshness in it that Seth had feared. He raised his eyes to the king's. "I speak now not as a king, but as a father. Please protect my daughter. You're a good and honourable man and–" He paused a moment and Seth went rigid as he felt the weight of the king's hand on his shoulder. "And I entrust my daughter to your care."
It was only when the attack on the castle began later that day that Seth fully recovered from the shock of Fado's words.
ooo
"He said that?" Eirika breathed. She was clasping his hands very tightly as if she expected him to bolt at any moment.
"Something to that effect." Seth heaved a sigh. "No... It was those words exactly. I could never forget. I was struck because–"
"Because," Eirika broke in, "those are the words a father speaks at a marriage ceremony when he gives away his daughter." She shook her head. "I cannot imagine my father choosing those words by accident, even when his thoughts were in turmoil." She paused for a moment, biting her lip. There was a flush to her cheeks when she looked up at him again. "Seth, do you think my father was tacitly... giving you his blessing?"
"I never dared to believe it then; it would have been impertinent at best. And yet... your father was a shrewd man." Had it been the king's words that had allowed him to hope, that hint of approval of feelings which, according to the dictates of rank and chivalry, would otherwise have been well nigh treasonous to act on? All he knew was that by the end of that day he had been fleeing the castle with Eirika in his arms and, for a little while, he had forgotten that she was anything other than the woman he loved.
"Why didn't you tell me? We've been married for nearly four years..."
He leaned his forehead against hers and sighed. He thought he'd banished these uncertainties long ago, but all at once he found himself aware again that he was with the Princess of Renais, a woman who should have been beyond his reach– yet he could feel the swell of her breasts through her nightshirt, pressed against his chest, her hip, close against his thigh. "It seemed... shameful that my feelings should be so transparent. That even the king should know..." A shiver ran down his spine as she pressed herself against his chest, her arms snaking around him, her hands coming to rest in the small of his back.
"Father always spoke well of you, and fondly," she murmured. "He never corrected me for speaking well of you either, never tried to steer me towards the other young nobles or one of the princes." Normally the very thought of Eirika being encouraged to marry one of the young princes would have made every muscle in his body tense, but with the way her fingers were trailing along his spine, he found it impossible to be anything but relaxed. "But I never thought..."
His own father had left him a proud legacy as a knight; he had been a shining example, one that Seth had striven to follow and to surpass, but he'd also left behind a burden of expectation. King Fado had given him some relief of that burden with his final words. "I'm sorry," Seth whispered. "I should have told you sooner. If I'd known–"
She put a finger to his lips, smiling with that tender earnestness he had always so loved in her. "That you were a knight didn't matter to my father. What mattered was that you're honourable and loyal." And then a laugh like the flowing waters of a newly-thawed stream in springtime poured out of her. She shook her head as if she could not bring herself to believe it. "Even at the end... he was still my father." She squeezed him tightly, a broad smile still on her face. "Thank you, Seth," she whispered. "Thank you..."
Seth basked in her joy. In his final moments King Fado had wanted only his daughter's safety and her happiness. Seth knew this, though it had taken him a long while to accept that her happiness could truly lie in him. It had seemed too incredible, too unlikely... too perfect to believe.
Seth leaned in and kissed her, long and deep, until they were both breathless. For the first time since he'd returned to her, he could feel the blood surging through his veins at her closeness.
There was a crooked smile on her lips as she drew back to look at him. "You are feeling better, aren't you?"
"Much," he said and then his lips were pressed against hers once more. His shoulder was still stiff and he knew he was unnaturally thin, but his awareness of these things ebbed away as his hands wandered her body while her fingers seemed to burn a trail along his bare skin. When they broke apart again she drew away for a moment, her hand on his cheek, her eyes boring into him.
"What it is?" he asked, his voice husky. The warmth of her so close to him and the softness of her skin beneath his fingertips was making it difficult to concentrate. "What are you thinking?"
ooo
"What am I thinking?" Eirika repeated.
She smiled at him, for in that moment he was all things: doting father, darling husband, gallant knight– friend, lover, confidant.
"Nothing," she said. Everything.
And then she kissed him and there was no more talking.
THE END
A/N: I want to thank everyone who took the time to review (and those who will in future). One of the reasons this story went from being little more than a few vague notions floating around in my brain to an actual story, is the comments I got on "Tarnish." So let me know what you thought of this one. If you've got any constructive criticism to offer, feel free. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!