A Disclaimer: Naoko Takeuchi owns the Sailor Moon Universe; I do not.
A Dedication: This goes out to all of the wonderful readers that requested a night at the Terran Ball…with some nakedness.
A Quick Author's Note: This story is meant to be a stand alone, but also references events from You've Got Mail.
Their Royal Highnesses
of the Sovereign Kingdom of Earth
King Endymion I and Queen Gaia
Request the Honour of Your Presence At
An April Fool's Folly
This 1st of April
8:00 in the Evening
Grand Hall of the Terran Palace
Dinner to Be Served
Formal Attire
Prince Endymion groaned as he noted the invitation his parents had sent out to every dignitary and royal on Earth, in addition to every royal and otherwise important person around the planetary system. He crumbled up the glossy pale gold paper underneath a filmy layer of vellum. Zoisite would be less than pleased to see this event set. He was sure the girls were gloating from where they sat in the Moon Palace, probably plotting more inevitable torture.
Meanwhile, Kunzite smiled in satisfaction as his sword clanked rhythmically against Jadeite's. There was nothing more exhilarating than a 5:00 am practice. Kunzite abruptly woke from his reverie as Jadeite swung and nearly took a chunk out of his thigh. Those damn mini-braids kept swinging in his face, leaving him with all sorts of annoying blind spots. Even more annoying was the magic keeping those braids in tact. When the Senshi forced Jadeite, Nephrite and himself to get those braids done, in punishment for betting on them, he never knew Princess Serenity added a measure to preserve those damn braids until the next Terran Ball.
Minako thought she was so smart, making him get his hair braided during their birthday surprise vacation for Princess Serenity, Kunzite thought. He thought he had won, but he should have known those girls would get the last laugh.
"Ok men, swords down. I have some news," Endymion interrupted the practice. The men put their swords down and took a knee.
"It seems that dooms day is upon us," Endymion began, rather melodramatically. "The next ball takes place on April Fool's Day. I think we all know what that means."
Endymion could feel the dread radiating off of each of his Generals.
"Oh, and one more thing. My parents request our RSVP forms be sent in," Endymion finished, handing each of his loyal companions their invitation envelope and RSVP card.
"Come on men, its one night," Kunzite tried to inspire the group.
"One night of pain and misery while Rei gloats," Jadeite muttered.
"At least you aren't going naked," Zoisite grumbled.
To: Earth Entourage
From: The Sweet Princesses
Re: NAKED TIME
Dearest Prince and Generals,
We were each most delighted to have received our invitations to the April Fool's Folly Ball. Minako most particularly, but we digress. First, as you have noted, we have created a new list serve for us (Serenity, Minako, Rei, Makoto and Ami). Feel free to save time and use it.
Now, to business. As you can remember, Jadeite, Nephrite, and Kunzite won that so called bet, but in the end, you all lose. Since you all decided to take sides and bet on whether or not we would invite more boys besides yourselves to Serenity's birthday party, we decided to enforce punishment. We didn't like being bet on and we didn't like you guys thinking we were predictable. We are taking this time to remind you of said punishment, and inform you of the consequences should you decide not to take your dose of medicine.
For those of you (Jadeite, Kunzite and Nephrite) who thought that we would invite men to this party, then you officially won the bet and get to see Endymion and Zoisite deliciously naked at the next great Terran Ball. However, we girls still punished you by making you get those thousands of tiny braids in your hair. You now get to show up with your braids.
For those of you (Endymion and Zoisite) who thought that we would not invite men to the party, then you officially lost the bet, since we invited man friends for Setsuna and Hotaru. Congratulations for we ALL now get our very own peep show at the next Terran Ball (this April Fool's Folly) We will get to see if Kunzite trains you enough…(trains you to be as physically fit as we all hope that you are)
Now if you don't follow through with this, then:
(Ask Jadeite, he has only gotten a glimpse of the fire) – Rei
(I've got some great love arrows that I can strategically stick in other random girls to chase you, indefinitely. Trust me it will annoy both you and us. Worse than rock star.) – Minako
(I'm sure I'll find some sort of way to confine you all to Terra for a couple of years, or something) – Serenity
(I'm told I have to freeze you all, but then again, if Zoisite chooses not to go naked…) - Ami
(Don't read Ami's words. Zoisite we all, including Ami, want to see you naked. You too, Endymion. And I will stick you underneath a growing tree if you don't.) –Makoto
(You are right, Mako. Like I said before, Zoi has nothing to hide.) –Ami
(Oooohhh, looks like Endy and Sere aren't the only ones who do the dirty!) –Minako
(Hey! We are a respectable couple!) –Serenity
(Let them be. What they do I'm sure pales in comparison as to what you get up to.) –Rei
To sum up: Remember the consequences.
Sincerely,
All of US!
To: Earth Entourage
From: Haruka
Re: An April Fool's Folly Bonus
I just got my invitation and I will be delighted to attend. My RSVP card is being sent as you read this SM-mail. Just for some bonus, I will pay for an all expense romantic get away, here on Uranus, for anyone who does a strip tease.
Just some food for thought…
-Haruka
To: Haruka
From: Endymion
CC: Generals
Re: Bonus
Dear Haruka,
NO
Sincerely,
Endymion
"Traditionally I wear a nice shade of white or silver, but what will go best with nude?" Princess Serenity casually asked the girls. They sat eating brunch before the usual day of meetings and training began.
"White is not a shade," replied Rei.
"It's not a shade, but I think in this case you need to go with something loud and bright," Minako said.
"Why?" Serenity asked, interested.
"Isn't white all colors combined?" Makoto interrupted.
"Anyways," Minako said shooting a look at Makoto, "it will draw attention away from Endy, of course. This is strategic for two reasons: 1) You never wear anything but white or silver so people will be wondering why the Moon Princess is in something like, say, magenta. 2) The bright color will attract attention to you and draw it away from Endymion," Minako said, conspiratorially.
"It could also draw attention to both of them. One naked and one bright," Makoto said.
"I didn't say it wasn't a gamble," Minako said, shrugging.
"Great idea, she should go in something bright and take the risk," Ami said quickly. All eyes turned to Ami, who tried to look engrossed in her book.
"Ami?" prodded Makoto.
Ami continued to pretend to read while she forked some fruit to eat.
"Ames…we'll drag it out of you eventually," Minako said sweetly.
"Their attention will take attention away from Zoisite, and from me who will be standing next to Zoisite," Ami gave in. She knew how good the girls were at forcing information.
"I thought you said Zoisite has nothing to hide. You seemed ok with this at the birthday party," Serenity said.
"Oh, I'll be a good little Mercurian and I won't even blush. I'm just worried about poor Zoisite's ego, who will have people heckle him all night. He's a very fragile person," Ami said, still looking at her book.
"How sweet of you to worry about Zoisite, but what about you?" Rei asked.
"I'm a Princess, and there are people to make sure we all look good. Most people will probably just be feeling sorry for me," Ami said.
"You sound like Minako," Makoto said.
"She has taught me that there are important things to worry about and that there are silly things to worry about. This would be a silly thing to worry about," Ami replied.
"I didn't know Minako had such profound wisdom pouring from her," Rei responded.
"Tease all you want, but a genius has learned something from me," Minako defended herself.
"Seriously girls, I'll be fine. If you want to worry about something, worry about what will happen to our poor boys when the ball is over and they face the consequences of Endymion's parents," Ami said reasonably. Ami's confident demeanor was enough to quell any doubts. The girls went on with brunch, talking about all other aspects of the April Fool's Folly.
"So what are we going to wear?" Zoisite asked to Endymion.
"What do you mean, what are you going to wear? You are both wearing your birthday suits!" Jadeite looked at him as if he lost his mind.
"I know that, dim brain, but before we make it to the ball, we have to present the Prince to his parents and pass inspection. If we show up naked for that, it is all over," Zoisite said exasperated.
"Quit looking for a reason to whine about you going naked. You and Endy can wear tuxedos and then take themoff," Nephrite said.
"Haruka did offer the strip tease option," Kunzite said.
"To which we said no!" Endymion cut in.
"We'll be a laughingstock too, you know. Our hair…" Nephrite said.
"He is right, you won't be the only ones being made fun of," Jadeite interrupted.
"Naked vs. Bad Hair. I'll take bad hair," Zoisite said.
"No, you would take naked. You love your hair too much," Jadeite responded.
"Arrrhhhh" Zoisite cried, throwing his hands up and leaving the room.
To: Endymion
From: Serenity
Re: The Ball
I just wanted to apologize for getting you in this mess. I am trying to think of ways to take the attention away from you. The girls and I have some good surprises. See you next week!
Love,
Serenity
To: Nephrite
From: Makoto
Re: Braids
Don't worry about the braids, you still look dashing. Still, I'm worried about Endymion and Zoisite. More specifically, Serenity and Ami. When we are not able to be around, could you kind of position yourself in front of them?
Oh, and don't tell the other girls I asked you to help out. I am still not above making you suffer consequences.
Love,
Makoto
To: Kunzite
From: Minako
Re: Trouble
I love your braids and I know the rest of the universe will too! Now, remember what we said before about punishing you all if you don't follow through. I don't care what happens, but since you are their leader, I am putting you in charge of making sure that you push Endymion and Zoisite out front and center. They should not be able to hide.
Neither should the rest of you, for that matter.
Remember the consequences!
Your Love,
Minako
To: Jadeite
From: Rei
Re: This Ball
The braids make you look less like a warrior and more like a college kid on spring break. If you want to leave early, I won't burn you for it. But don't tell the girls I told you that. And I might not be able to protect you from the other girl's wrath if you do choose to leave early.
Love,
Rei
To: Michiru
From: Haruka
Re: Balls
Well, I guess we will get to see what we are missing out on, won't we? But don't worry, I'm sure Endy and Zoi have nothing on your sweet body.
-Haruka
To: Ami
From: Zoisite
Re: For the love of Hermes…
Hey, I know we got ourselves into this mess, but you can help get us out! You are their voice of logic and reason. I mean, I have the most gorgeous body, but I don't want all the other female courtiers following me around all night! Honestly, that is too much for one guy to take. I'm just too sexy…
Love,
Zoisite
To: Generals
From: Your Prince
Re: Uh Oh
Serenity just informed me that she and the girls are plotting to do something to her that will take attention away from me. Pray that it does not make it worse…
As my most loyal guard, please protect me.
And DO NOT tell Serenity I wrote this.
-Endy
To: Zoisite
From: Ami
Re: re: For the love of Hermes…
You are right; you did get yourselves into this. I guess you are just going to have to get your sexy self out of this. You and Jadeite are the strategists, why don't you two work on it? Besides, I already promised the girls I would survive this night without blushing.
Yours,
Ami
THE AFTERNOON OF AN APRIL FOOL'S FOLLY BALL
"So, how do I look?" Jadeite asked to no one in particular, as he glanced into the mirror.
"You seem unusually cheerful," Kunzite said, glancing out of the corner of his eye.
"Of course I am. Rei loves me and I am not going naked," he replied cheerfully.
"Don't worry naked boys, we'll make sure you aren't too embarrassed," Nephrite said distractedly, as he tied his bow tie.
"Remember, you two lost fair and square, so we will be here to make sure you take your medicine as prescribed," Kunzite said.
"Or, we could just find a way out of this," Zoisite said, not paying attention to his wrinkled pants. "It is not too late."
"Afraid you won't measure up?" Jadeite teased.
"Just afraid that after tonight, Rei will want me more than she wants you," Zoisite said, wiping the smirk from Jadeite's face.
"Cool it, we enter as the girls want, and disappear into the crowd, as we want," Endymion cut in.
"You seem relatively calm about all of this," Nephrite commented.
"I'm more worried about what Serenity has planned, to be honest," Endymion replied.
"True," Nephrite agreed.
"To be fair about the whole situation, there are entire planets that go around in the nude and think nothing of it. It is all a cultural thing. It's not forbidden to go around nude," Endymion said.
"Just frowned upon," Zoisite mumbled.
"Endy is thinking of places like Venus. The Mercurians are the ones you are worried about, Zoi. At least I am not going to be naked and still have to face the parents of the girl I am dating, who happens to come from a conservative planet," Nephrite said, not missing a beat.
"Jupiter is pretty loose, so you have no room to talk about dealing with parents of girls you are dating," Zoisite replied.
"Mars is indifferent," Jadeite added to no one in particular.
"And none of this helps us out," Zoisite said. "Come on Jed, we can think of something. Clones, illusions, proxies that look like us. Something. Anything."
"Hate to say it Zoisite, but nothing you can think of will get you past the wrath of the girls," Kunzite said calmly.
"No, I think Zoisite it on to something. Who wants to be going out there with this mess of hair?" Jadeite asked, earning a raised eyebrow from Kunzite.
"What do you have in mind?" Endymion asked cautiously.
"Mass destruction," Jadeite said simply.
"Seriously," Zoisite scowled.
"We ease the shock a little bit for the crowd. Traditionally, we go in as Zoisite, Nephrite, myself, Kunzite, and then our magnificent Prince here. Let's change up the order to ease people into this. If we send in naked boy followed by the boy with the thickest mass of braids, then that is a huge statement," Jadeite began. Zoisite picked up on the plan and perked up a tiny bit.
"But, if we send Jed in first, his hair is shortest and he is known to do stupid stuff that pushes the envelope. Then we send in Kunz and Neph and then us naked men and it won't come as quite the shock…semi-genius," Zoisite finished.
"Intriguing," Endymion said. "It doesn't get us out of anything but it will slightly lessen the shock…"
"Or people could just think this all an April Fool's errand." Nephrite added, spoiling any hope to be had.
"At least we're not going naked!" Jadeite added.
Endymion sighed and noticed Zoisite out of the corner of his eye. Zoisite was standing in front of the full length mirror shirtless, and flexing his pecks. It was going to be a long night.
"All right, let's make our presentation to my parents so that we can make their approval. Then we can prepare to make our formal entrances and get this ball over with," Endymion said with noted dread.
"Its naked time!" cried Jadeite as they left the room.
"Damn! I am one hot Venusian!" Minako said to herself, as she twirled in front of the mirror. Makoto rolled her eyes.
"Honey, if I didn't know Kunzite, then I would say you were in love with yourself," Makoto chortled.
"I am in love with myself, and that is why Kunzite loves me," Minako replied.
"Its no small wonder that you are the proclaimed goddess of love," Makoto said.
The ladies were dressing in the posh room designated for their use. Makoto, already dressed, was checking the battery in her camera and making sure her memory card was clear. She would be taking every single picture that she could. The girls were done up in traditional formal gowns of their trademark colors. All of them, that is, except Serenity.
Serenity donned a daring dress, similar to a Spanish flamenco dancer's dress. The layers of frills, feathers, and sequins would not have been out of place in a ballroom dancing competition. That being said, they would be out of place as this particular ball. Perhaps the icing on the cake was the loud fuchsia coloring of this elaborate dress that swallowed this dainty little princess who always wore white or silver.
Serenity stood beside Minako, twirling in the mirror. The two giggled at the spectacle Serenity made.
"We'll see where everyone's eyes are drawn now!" Serenity said gleefully.
"To you or your naked Terran Prince," Rei reminded her.
"Wouldn't it be great if we found a way to make the boys' braids stand up – like Medusa?" Minako pondered.
"If we put something sticky in their hair, it would take them ages to get it out!" said Rei.
"We should request lots of 'booty dancing songs'," Makoto added.
"Like 'Baby Got Back'," Rei said.
"Or even a song like 'Blue Moon'," Serenity said.
"Speaking of things blue, where is Ami?" Rei asked.
"AMI," Minako yelled. There was no reply.
"AMI," Minako called again. The girls looked at her.
"Like that is going to find her," Rei said.
"I'll go find her," Makoto said. She left the room and thought of all of the good places a formally dressed Mercurian could hide.
Makoto found Ami crouched down against the wall, hyperventilating into a brown paper bag and shaking like a leaf. She resembled a strange bird, with her ice blue gown flowing around her like flowery feathers, and a nice beak opening and closing with each deep breath into the bag.
"Oh, honey!" Makoto said soothingly, with a hint of humor in her voice. She knelt down beside Ami and put an arm around her. Ami barely looked up as she continued trembling and breathing into her bag.
"I…(deep breath)…can't…(deep breath)…do…(deep breath)…this!" she wheezed between breaths. "I…feel…too…dizzy…to…go…out …there." Makoto just hugged her and tried to calm her down.
"I know, I know, but its not you out there on the line, its him," she tried. "Everyone will know that you did not put him up to this. Besides, you said yourself that you wouldn't mind an all night peep show." Makoto said, making light of the situation.
"I…don't mind…a private peep…show…but I…don't want…it to…be…a public…peep show!"
"Honey, you have got to stop hyperventilating," Makoto said, gently trying to pry the bag from her. "It's going to make you sick! What happened to our sassy little Ami who never even blushed when we teased her about this night?"
"I…though you…saw right…through that…act!" Ami whimpered.
"Well, I did, but we liked that confident side of you, and you need to summon up that courage to go out there. He needs you! Your Zoisite needs your love and support. Do you think he is thrilled about this? He sees you and gathers strength from your devotion to him. He can't see you wavering; you know men, they need us women to be strong for them, without letting them know that we are being strong." Ami looked slightly less pale with Makoto's heartening words.
"Well," said Makoto, choosing her words carefully, "this is really more Minako's department, but you know that Endymion will be naked too, and Serenity is probably going through the same thing. If anything, as the Prince of Earth and fiancé to the Moon Princess, he will probably get the most attention." Ami whimpered some more and groped around for that bag Makoto had stole.
"Now chin up!" Makoto said, helping Ami up before she could reclaim the paper bag. "As Princess of Mercury, you get to go down there first! Maybe you could help him out with a little bubble coverage," she said mischievously. Ami gave a small chuckle and looked slightly less ill. She followed Makoto to the other girls, waiting to go down the stairs to meet their doom.
"There you are!" said a relieved Minako, "We thought that we were going to have all the fun tonight," she teased.
"We were just plotting," Makoto said quickly, helping Ami out of an embarrassing moment. "I mean, if Zoisite wants to put Ami through this, then she needs to be in her element." She nudged Ami. "Get it? Here element? Ami is going to send some bubbles Zoisite's way to cover up his unmentionables, and hopefully they tickle him something fierce!" The girls giggled and approved of that plan. Their chatter was interrupted by the trumpets announcing the arrival of the Terran Court and the Moon Court. The time had come.
The Terrans liked to play up the whole relationship between the Terran Court and the Moon Court. It seemed to boost their credibility among the other planets. Either way, they never missed a chance to exploit the relationships. So as each man was introduced, their lady would be introduced. She would walk down the stairs, he would enter from a side door next to the thrones, and they would meet at the bottom of the stairs.
Ami jutted her head in the air and stepped forward. The little formalities really were annoying, but they had to be done. She heard the trumpet finish its introduction and the announcer took the microphone.
"Your Majesties, honored friends and guests, ladies and gentlemen. It is my privilege to begin these festivities by recognizing for you, our Prince and his Court. By special request of his highness, Prince Endymion, I announce to you first, General Lord Jadeite. Rei gasped and rushed to the top of the stairs. When they were all assembled, Rei always went down third.
The dignitaries and royalty on the ballroom floor applauded and bowed to Jadeite, who swept into the room gracefully, braids flying around his head. The crowd tried to hide their snickers and curiosity from the General Lord Jadeite. What was he playing at – daring to enter the room in such a style? Much of the older crowd was offended at this impertinent disregard of respect. Jadeite still charmed the crowd as he worked the room and made his way to the bottom of the stairs.
"Your Majesties, honored friends and guests, ladies and gentlemen. I give you the Crown Princess Rei of Mars." Rei strutted down the stairs and held Jadeite's steady gaze. The assembled guests noticed that she didn't even blink at the General's brazen hairdo. She reached the bottom of the stairs and took Jadeite's extended arm. The music began and he swept her into a graceful waltz. When the music ended, the couple walked up to be formally presented to King Endymion I and Queen Gaia. The King and Queen didn't bat an eye at Jadeite's display – what was this world coming to?
"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you General Lord Nephrite." Nephrite stepped into the hall and received audible gasps and gaping mouths. Seeing General Lord Jadeite's short golden locks wound up was one thing, but this! Here was a General who took his position seriously. General Lord Jadeite would play such an April Fool's joke, but General Lord Nephrite?
Still, he met a beaming Crown Princess Makoto of Jupiter at the bottom of the stairs and bowed to her. He whispered something into her ear that made her mouth fall open. The crowd desperately wanted to know what was going on, but watched the couple do their obligatory waltz before presenting themselves to the King and Queen.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present to you High General Lord Kunzite." Kunzite stepped out into the floor to dead silence. He continued to walk toward the staircase, unconcerned by the unenthusiastic response to his appearance. People peered around and tried to get a better look at this unconventional and unexpected display. Nephrite cleared his throat and nudged Jadeite, who both started applauding. The crowd followed, but whispered mumbling could be heard. And where was General Lord Zoisite? Was he ill this evening? He always came in first.
The High General Lord Kunzite met the Crown Princess Minako of Venus and they began their waltz. It did not go unnoticed that they Crown Princess was more giddy than usual, nor did it go unnoticed that the High General seemed to be glaring at his beautiful partner. They presented themselves to the King and Queen, and took their places in line with the other Generals and Princesses.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present General Lord Zoisite and the Crown Princess Ami of Mercury."
Zoisite strutted into the room as if he owned the room, Palace and whole of Terra. If it were silent when Kunzite entered, than this definitely took the cake. The King stiffened and looked stern, while the Queen's mouth dropped open. No one moved, no one breathed, until…
"BWAHAHAHAH HEHEH HAHAH HOHOHOH HEHAHA," roared from Jadeite's mouth. This was followed by general guffaws and snickers from the room mixed with a healthy display of shock and disapproval.
By this time, Zoisite stood patiently at the foot of the stairs, waiting for his Crown Princess to descend the stairs.
"Uh, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Crown Princess Ami of Mercury," the announcer called again. There was still no sign of the Crown Princess, but that didn't matter, every lady had her eye on the General Lord's glorious buttocks.
"The Crown Princess of Mercury!" The announcer tried again. This time, a poor Crown Princess was shoved out of the doorway, and forced to walk down the stairs. General Lord Zoisite grinned when he saw her, but she could only blush and look away. The crowd saw her mutter something and a mass of bubbles spewed from her hand and encircled Zoisite's waist. He twisted and squirmed as the bubbles tickled and moved around him.
They survived their dance and presented themselves to the King and Queen. Their Royal Highnesses smiled at Ami and stiffly acknowledge Zoisite. They moved to take their places in line.
"You're freezing me!" Zoisite muttered under his breath in Ami's direction. Her bubbles danced as she gave her response.
"Dear, in case you failed to notice, you are naked."
"No, darling, I did not fail to notice, and if you could just let me be in my natural glory, that might be warmer."
"Suit yourself," she said, waving her hand and making the bubbles disappear.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my deepest pride and greatest pleasure to present to you his Most High Crown Prince of Terra, Prince Endymion II!"
The crowd erupted into immediate cheers for their beloved Prince, but the noise quickly dissipated as the High Crown Prince entered the room. The only sound was the scuffle of women trying to get a closer look at their Prince. His mother moaned and buried her face into her husband's shoulder. His father raised an eyebrow and then did the unexpected – he chuckled. His chuckles grew louder until he was laughing.
Everyone's head's turned as they heard a voice at the top of the stairs.
"Wait! I'm here! No need for an introduction, High Crown Princess Serenity of the Moon is here!" Serenity called as she ambled down the stairs. She wanted desperately to take the attention away from her Prince. If anyone was to be embarrassed tonight, it should be her.
The King's booming laughter bounced around the high ceiling room as he watched this precious Moon Child make her entrance. Despite her antics, she was by far the most beautiful creature in the room – and the most special.
The room followed the King's example and laughed as they watched the Prince and his Princess waltz around the room. Her dress did exactly as she wanted it to – it blocked anyone's view of his front side unmentionables. His backside was another story.
The couple moved to present themselves to the King and Queen. The Queen looked as if she were about to faint. The King, however, stood to embrace his son and the Moon Princess. After this, the King raised his arms to indicate that the dancing would commence. He then moved to take his Queen onto the balcony for some fresh air.
The crowd moved to the dance floor and the refreshment table, while the Royal Courts moved against a wall. They ignored the twittering, whispers, and whirl of camera clicking that followed their retreating backs.
"Well gents, I say that went rather well!" Jadeite said cordially.
"So do I!" Minako readily agreed. "If you don't mind Serenity, I am going to have to steal your man for a dance." With that she grabbed Endymion's arm and he reeled around as she led them toward the dance floor.
"I guess that means you get to take me for a spin," Serenity said sweetly to Kunzite, who still looked less than pleased about the situation.
"Make sure your hands down wander to low!" Makoto called after Minako and Endymion. Minako smiled deviously behind Endymion's back.
"Good thing Serenity didn't hear that. You know how possessive she is of Endy," Rei commented.
"Pish Posh, you know how possessive you are of Jed," Makoto bantered back.
"Not near as possessive as you are of Neph. Besides, Jade knows his place and not to leave it," Rei replied.
"Wait, you are possessive? That's what got us into this mess! Being possessive," Jadeite huffed as he crossed his arms.
"Women, what is it about them? Can't live with them or without them!" Makoto said.
"Smile for the cameras boys and give them what they want!" Haruka proclaimed as she and Michiru approached the group.
"My, my, such handsome boys. Zoisite, my compliments," Michiru kidded.
"I was right Michiru, we aren't missing out on anything. These naked fools don't have nothing on your hot body," Haruka said, winking at Zoisite.
As the song finished, the couples made it back to the group, doing their best to blend in with the nearest wall.
"Serenity, your man handles this humiliation quite well. Ami, now I have to take your man out for a test drive!" Minako said, as she stole Zoisite from where Ami had hidden him.
"Now, Minako knows how to make this boring group a party!" Haruka laughed.
Ami rolled her eyes. "She is shameless! How did Zoi and I end up together and Mina and Kunz end up together? Logically, it should have been the other way around."
"Lucky for us, love is not logical," Kunzite said absentmindedly.
"Kunzite, that is the most romantic thing I think you have ever said," Makoto commented.
"Well, tell Minako. One day I'm sure I could use the leverage."
As this song ended, Minako and Zoisite came back to the group camped out against the wall.
"I say Kunzite, you do train these boys well! Bravo! Fit as a violin," Minako said approvingly.
"It's FIDDLE. Fit as a FIDDLE," Makoto corrected her.
"Either way, two thumbs way up for our exposed men!" Minako said.
Meanwhile, Makoto could be seen playing with static electricity to help make the boys' hair stand straight up. Unfortunately for her, their hair was so thick and heavy, simple static electricity was not working. Luckily for her, she could tell the electricity just what to do. While she experimented, other girls around the room experimented with their chances of getting a closer look at the esteemed High Crown Prince Endymion and General Lord Zoisite.
"Do you see that?"
"He's NAKED!"
"What are you saying? They're both NAKED!"
SQUEAL
"We have to dance with one of them!"
"Both!"
"Ok, both!"
"We'd have a better chance at General Lord Zoisite."
"Why?"
"He used to be a player before he settled down with Crown Princess Boring."
"You're right, and we'd have a hard time prying High Crown Prince Endymion away from High Crown Princess Serenity."
"Yup, and Crown Princess Mouse will be easier to steal a man from."
"Agreed."
"Uh Zoisite, do you see those two women on the prowl, heading straight for us?"
"Yes, my most revered and wonderfully High Prince, I see them coming right for us."
"Ami?" Zoisite asked timidly. "Could I have my bubbles back, please?"
"Ami, might you be gracious enough to spare some bubbles for me as well?" Endymion asked.
"Anything for you, Endy," Ami replied as she casually sent some bubble coverage his way. "I'm still deciding if you deserve any bubbles," she said haughtily toward Zoisite.
"What did I do to you? Anyways, you don't want those vulture women heading our way to get an eyeful!" Zoisite pleaded.
"You are embarrassing me. And you made that bet about us. And you made that bet about us so that either way, the result would be embarrassing." Ami refuted.
The vulture women had arrived.
"My Prince and Lord General," one of them bowed.
"My name is Faye and this is my friend Honey."
"Ladies," Endymion said as both he and Zoisite bowed back.
"We couldn't help but notice sirs, but you are naked," the one called Faye said. The collective eye rolling could be felt.
"I see nothing escapes you," Zoisite said dryly. Minako giggled from where she stood behind them.
"Yes, well we couldn't help but to wonder why?" the one called Honey asked.
"We felt it was time to free ourselves from all restraints and be more like the Venusians," Zoisite said sarcastically. This sarcasm was lost on the girls.
"We agree, and in fact, we could be naked too and start a trend?" Faye said suggestively. Nephrite coughed and tried to cover it up by clearing his throat.
"That won't be necessary girls, we feel that this experiment should be limited to us," Endymion covered.
"Naked was how we were born and intended to be," Honey said.
"I'm sure that is up to interpretation and our experiment tonight is to see how different cultures view that very subject," Endymion said.
"And how does it compare?" Faye asked.
"We were just discussing that amongst our fine planetary diplomats of these Princesses, as we speak." Zoisite cut in.
"Well, being naked suits both of you very well," Faye said.
"Your tan lines are to die for!" Honey said. Minako burst out laughing so hard that wine spewed all over Kunzite.
"In fact, since you won't invite us to be naked with you, why don't we all just settle for a dance?" Honey said smoothly. The boys hesitated and allowed themselves to be dragged to the dance floor.
Zoisite chuckled to himself as he felt the familiar cold tingle of bubbles surround him once more.
Little did Endymion and Zoisite know that as they danced, they were the favored subject of conversation among the Royals.
"I think I understand why my daughter treasures your son," Queen Selenity said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
"I've got a fine lad; he gets it from his father," King Endymion I replied.
"Please, you're giving me a headache! What possessed those boys to come naked!" Queen Gaia said warily.
"I think the more appropriate question would be: Why are only Endy and Zoisite naked?" The King kidded.
"They are embarrassing Terra," Queen Gaia grumbled.
"They are just being boys. I'm sure they have a very good reason and I'm sure it has something to do with them getting in trouble with the girls," King Endymion I responded.
"I've always said my court was above such nonsense and now they are naked!" Queen Gaia said, distressed.
"If it does have something to do with the girls, them I'm sure you of all people know that I've done just as much for love," The King replied, ignoring the Queen's last statement.
"This sort of behavior would go quite unnoticed elsewhere," Queen Selenity stepped in. "In fact, other planetary dignitaries most likely imagine that your court is making an effort to support the cultures of other planets."
"We are an official ally of the Silver Millennium now after years of negotiations and scrutiny. If every planet is entitled to represent their own culture, then ours should as well. We do not condone walking around without our clothes on - especially during ceremonial events!" Queen Gaia said.
"Dear, I think you are going about this the wrong way. Their behavior might be contemptuous but relax and enjoy the evening. No one has left yet and they seemed to be rather amused. If it will make you feel better, I will speak with them in the morning," The King said soothingly.
"I'd rather they just put clothes on. This is not Venus or any other planet that doesn't blink twice when nude people run around," Queen Gaia said.
"You just said we should respect all cultures of all planets," The King reminded her.
"Our court wants nothing to do with the other cultures when we our on Terra," Queen Gaia hissed under her breath.
"You might want to tell your High General that," Queen Selenity said easily, while still looking out on the dance floor.
"Oh heavens, you are right. He is with the Princess of Venus," Queen Gaia said with a resigned sigh.
"Come my dear, join me for a dance?" The King said, taking this opportunity to distract his wife.
She nodded, stood, and took his arm as he guided them to the dance floor. Seeing the Terran Royal couple take the floor, the dancers paused and stood back, forming a circle around them. They watched with respect as the King and Queen elegantly waltzed across the floor.
"Look at my parents," an undressed Endymion said to his fiancé Serenity. "I hope we look half that graceful and content when we take the floor."
"Of course you do, my liege," Kunzite said generously. "Especially with the pair of you looking the way you do tonight! All the girls are content to look at you and all of the boys are content to wonder why Sere wore that."
"I seem to recall someone reserving a boat for me called the Exposed Tuxedo. Was that you or Nephrite?" Endymion asked, arching his eyebrow.
Kunzite cleared his throat and looked anywhere but at Endy. "It was Nephrite, My Lord."
"Don't drag me into this!" Nephrite hissed.
"Just wanted to remember who does not have any room to be making fun of me. The person who reserved the Exposed Tuxedo has already had their fun," Endy said smoothly.
"Hey everyone, why are those two ditzy girls, Faye and Honey, glaring at Ami and I?" Serenity interrupted.
"Probably because their plan to steal our smokin' hot bodies was viciously foiled," Zoisite replied casually.
"Ami upped the bubble coverage while we were dancing," Endymion said. "I think she overdid it on purpose – the bubbles began to circle their heads so that they could see nothing!"
"Plus, Ami was staring daggers at them the whole dance. That, I did notice despite all those bubbles," Zoisite said gleefully.
Ami shrugged. "A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do."
"Again, she sounds like Minako!" Makoto exclaimed. Minako looked proud.
The dinner bell rang and the guests began to file in to the dining hall. The crowd settled in to a sumptuous meal and chatted merrily about the appearances of the Terran Court. The Queen seemed to have recovered nicely and the King found this whole situation very amusing. Deep inside, he was glad that his roguish side left behind in his youth, had found its way into his son.
Clink Clink Clink
"I would like to propose a toast, if you will indulge me," Jadeite stood with his glass raised. The guests all turned to face the head table.
"We have many things to be grateful for and in my recent experience, I have found that there is nothing more gratifying than love or the things one must do for love. So, I propose a toast to love and a toast to birthday suits!"
"TO LOVE AND BIRTHDAY SUITS" The entire room repeated with confusion. However, such a toast could only be expected, considering the state of the Terran Court tonight.
Clink Clink Clink
"I would also like to propose a toast," Minako said as she stood.
"Indeed, love is gratifying, and I concur with General Lord Jadeite 100 percent in his sentiments. I also feel it is necessary to defend these intrepid men sitting at this table. See, they were put in this situation for love, and did not back out of it, because of love. I think they, and any man with as much love as these 5 men have, should be commended. So once again, here is to love, birthday suits, braids, and tan lines!"
"TO LOVE, BIRTHDAY SUITS, BRAIDS AND TAN LINES" The crowd repeated, and the rumble of dinner noise resumed.
"TAN LINES?" Zoisite shot at Minako. She shrugged.
"Yummy," was all she said.
Makoto reached over to nudge Zoisite. "Honey was right, tan lines are sexy."
"And I suppose Nephrite and Kunzite's tan lines are 'to die for'," Zoisite said sarcastically.
"Yes," Makoto said.
"Oh, Kunzite does not have tan lines," Minako said casually. Kunzite choked on his food.
"Minako, we need to hang out and talk more often," Jadeite said, whilst still laughing uproariously.
After dinner, the birthday suit boys, now well immersed in bubbles, made the rounds of talking to the guests who would speak to them. Many of the older crowd would walk the other way if every they approached. By now, Makoto had figured out how to use static electricity to make the braids stand straight up, but had mercifully decided not to put the boys through additional torture – for now. The pictures she had taken that night would be torture enough. Perhaps she could make a scrapbook and make copies for all of them. That was an idea.
"Serenity, I think your plan has backfired. Everyone is staring at our entire group, especially because of your loud dress," Rei said.
"Naw, they would be staring anyways. I think the plan worked because some of the eyes that might have been looking at the boys, are now looking at me instead," Serenity said.
"Pure logic and genius," Jadeite said sarcastically.
"Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment," Serenity replied.
"Speaking of loud, your braids are staying in nicely," Rei commented to the three braided boys in general.
"Thanks hon, I didn't think you had noticed," Jadeite said, putting his arm around Rei's waist.
"Are you kidding? They're standing straight up!" Rei couldn't help giggling.
"What!?!?!" Jadeite asked, patting his hair furiously.
They heard Makoto give an evil chortle in the background.
"Sorry Jed, but I just couldn't help myself. Kunzite's and Nephrite's braids are standing strait up, too," she said, still laughing.
"Make them dance around like Medusa's hair!" Serenity hooted.
Makoto waved her hands around and the boy's hair came to life.
"Woman, what did we ever do to you!" Nephrite moaned.
"I was just waiting for the opportune moment," Makoto said. "When Jadeite started making fun of OUR Princess's dress, I just had to make his hair stand up. You two just got dragged along for the ride."
"You can make it stop now, we've had our fun," Serenity said, still laughing. Makoto relented and allowed the boys' braids to fall once more.
"Glad to know that someone will always have Sere's back," Endymion said.
"Making fun of her dress wasn't that bad," Jadeite muttered.
The group was interrupted as they heard a squeal and a crash. The sound came from behind them and it sounded like Ami's squeal. They rushed out to the balcony to find Ami sprawled on top of a naked Zoisite, both of them kissing furiously.
Minako whistled and cheered. The boys couldn't help but to look amused, themselves.
"Um, kids, there is a time and place for this…" Endymion tried to interrupt.
The kids ignored this or didn't hear it, for Zoisite wrapped his arms around Ami and flipped them over so that he was on top. And exposed.
"AMI! I'm going to have a heart attack! YOU are going to give me a heart attack!" Makoto said.
"Aw, let them go at it. We'll just close off the balcony so they can have more privacy," Jadeite said.
Ami's head popped up, a coy grin on her face. She pulled Zoisite to his feet.
"We're engaged!" she squealed. Zoi pulled Ami in front of him, and nodded eagerly.
"I've been planning on asking, and now just seemed like the time. Besides, now half of the "celebration work" is done, since I am already naked," Zoisite said. Ami gave him a tiny punch in the shoulder.
"That was an over share, I did not need to know that," Nephrite said, shaking his head.
"Of all times to ask, now was the time?" Kunzite asked, raising his eyebrow.
Serenity, however, did not miss a beat.
"YOU ARE ENGAGED! OH, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO!" She pounced on the two of them, nearly making the couple fall down again. Minako was next to pounce followed by Rei and Makoto.
"Oh, let's see the ring!"
"What did he say?"
"Did he at least get down on one knee?"
"Now we can have a double wedding!"
The men, were equally as excited for the couple, but less willing to jump into the melee.
"Dude, I would shake your hand or give you a hug or something, but you are way too naked for that," Nephrite said.
"How is it that the naked fools are both engaged? Rei? How about we get hitched too?" Jadeite said. "How about I get naked too?"
Rei gave him the look. "That was hardly a proposal, and if you are serious, you can try again later,"
"Then you do want me to propose!" Jed said. Rei rolled her eyes.
"Girls, move back and let her breath, I want to hear the proposal story!" Makoto said.
"Well, after dinner, Zoi pulled me out onto the balcony and had a plate with two cupcakes on it. He said he wanted to share dessert in private." Ami began.
"AWWWW" came the collective interruption.
"Well, he offered me a cupcake and I didn't notice until later, but he hadn't eaten any of his."
"AWWWW"
"So, I begin crunching on something hard, so I spit it into my napkin and was about to throw the napkin and the cupcake away."
"GIGGLE"
"But Zoisite saw that and stopped me. He said to look again in my napkin. In it was a tiny case holding the ring."
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWW"
"He was so thoughtful about not getting the ring full of food. So anyways, after I saw the ring, I looked down and found him on one knee and he asked me to marry him."
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"
"She said yes!" Zoisite jumped in.
"AWWWWW GIGGLE AWWWWWWW"
"Duh," Jadeite said as the girls squealed.
"And then you all came over and interrupted." Zoisite added.
"Did you ask her father permission?" Minako asked.
"Yes," Zoisite said.
"Tonight?!?!?!" Makoto said.
"No, I asked a few weeks ago. Like I said, this just seemed like a great moment to do it." He replied.
"Good thing too, now all the girls oogling his goodies will know that he is taken," Ami said.
"When you sent those bubbles my way after I left to dance with Honey, I knew that you were the girl for me," he joked.
"So let's go inside! We have an announcement to make!" Serenity squealed, ushering the group back into the ballroom.
"Everyone! Everyone! I have an announcement to make!" Serenity called, taking the microphone the announcer had used earlier. "Come here, Endy, we can do this together," she said into the microphone. The crowd laughed good naturedly.
"I have just found out that one of my closest and best friends, and loyal guardian," she said looking over at Ami, "has gotten engaged to General Lord Zoisite!" The crowd cheered and the band struck up a lively number.
"Go dance!" Serenity urged, nudging the engaged couple out onto the dance floor.
The two took their spotlight dance in stride, considering one was naked and the other was bright red. Other factors to consider included cat calls from his fellow Generals and naughty suggestions sent to Ami through the girl's private telepathic connection.
Serenity and Endymion let the couple dance for a while before taking the floor themselves. Jadeite dragged Rei out, Minako dragged Kunzite out, and Makoto and Nephrite looked amusedly at each other before walking out together.
The dance ended and the crowd applauded and cheered again before going back to their mingling. As the night grew longer, the crowd grew thinner and the time came when the royal couples could begin making respectable exits.
Ami and Zoisite left first, as expected. They weren't seen again until late brunch the next morning.
Serenity and Endymion had to be the last to leave, to see all of the guests off. Duty called.
As such, Minako and Kunzite left at the same time as Endymion and Serenity. Duty called.
Makoto and Nephrite were much luckier, and left not much longer after Ami and Zoisite. Jadeite and Rei followed suit.
Thus, they all survived.
To: All the Royal People of all Planets
From: Minako
Re: Tan Lines
I just wanted to commend the boys for being such good sports about this whole naked business. I would also like to add how pleased I was that the naked boys lived up to my highest hopes and expectations. Ami was right, Zoi has nothing to hide. Which reminds me, congrats again on the engagement!
Now on to planning a wedding or two?
Lovingly yours,
The Goddess of LOVE (and engagements)
To: The Sweet Princesses
From: Makoto
Re: Goddess of Love and engagements?
Since when do you take ownership of engagements?
-Makoto
To: The Sweet Princesses
From: MINAKO
Re: re: Goddess of Love and engagements?
Since I get a chance to plan a wedding. I'd plan Serenity and Endymion's too if their parents would let me.
This is like if we called you the Senshi of Food or something. It's just an extension of my natural being.
-Mina
To: The Moon Court, Earth Court and Outer Court
From: Zoisite
Re: re: Tan Lines
I do not have tan lines…
And if you think I do, then you were looking way too close at places you should not have been looking…
-Zoi
One Sexy Beast
To: The Moon Court, Earth Court, and Outer Court
From: Hotaru
Re: re: re: Tan Lines
Dude, u so have tan lines!
-HoTaRu
To: The Moon Court, Earth Court, and Outer Court
From: Serenity
Re: re: re: re: Tan Lines
Yeah, you do have tan lines. And yes, I was looking. (Sorry Ames) (Better me than Honey or Faye!)
And wasn't I right? Endy has nothing to hide, either.
-Serenity
To: The Sweet Princesses
From: Serenity
Re: re: re: Goddess of Love and engagements?
If you get to plan the wedding, then I get to help!
-Serenity
To: The Sweet Princesses
From: Ami
Re: re: re: Goddess of Love and engagements?
I get to plan my wedding.
Lovingly Yours,
Ami
To: The Moon Court, Earth Court, and Outer Court
From: Endymion
Re: re: re: re: re: Tan Lines
Thank you Minako for commending us for being good sports. I hope that you ladies see what we are willing to do for you.
And Sere, thanks for your endorsement as well.
Now, no more naked talk!
Yours Liege,
Endy
The END
a/n: Thank you for reading and thank you to everyone who gave me encouragement to write this happy hight of nakedness. I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave any constructive criticism or reviews!