Author: Nox
Title: Oblivious
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Numb3rs
Pairing: Charlie/Larry
Charlie sat with Amita, surrounded by equations. She was a wonderful, beautiful woman but now that he had her, Charlie wasn't so sure she was what he wanted. She was everything he was supposed to want, and he wanted her, he really did. But he just didn't focus on her like he knew he should. He should know what she liked, he should know her schedule, he should want to know these things. He wanted her, but he knew that what he felt for her wasn't enough.
And Amita knew it.
Charlie knew he should start the conversation, it was cruel of him not to, but he didn't know how to do it, he didn't have the courage to do it. It was Amita who finally broke the silence.
"This isn't going to work is it?" She sounded resigned. Charlie glanced over at her.
"I don't know why, you're beautiful and smart and I should want to be with you, I should want to know you, am I that unable to be involved with another human being?" Charlie sighed. Amita looked sad and sympathetic and she paused, as if considering her answer. Then she stopped. The look of understanding that dawned on Amita's face reminded Charlie of unraveling a complex equation. That moment, that burst of understanding when it all comes together and works. Amita just stared at him for a few minutes before breathing more then speaking a single word.
"Larry."
Charlie's confusion must have shown on his face because Amita laughed at him.
"Charlie, what time does Larry finish today?" Charlie just looked confused, so Amita held up a hand.
"Humor me."
"Five thirty." Charlie answered without hesitation.
"And on Friday?" She asked, smile twitching her lips.
"His last class finishes at five but he usually has extra office hours till six."
"What's his favorite food?"
"Red curry, what are you trying to do?" Charlie was starting to look annoyed.
"Just two more." Amita said. "What colour are his eyes?"
"Green." Again without any hesitation.
"And what are mine?"
Charlie looked startled and then embarrassed.
"I don't know."
Amita smiled crookedly.
"I probably should be upset, but you obviously had no idea. God, I should have figured it out long ago, it was so obvious." She smiled ruefully to herself. "Charlie you're not incapable of being with someone, your problem is that you're already set on someone, only you haven't noticed it yet." She shook her head at him. "You're more involved with Larry then you ever were with me or any other person I have ever see you with."
"But…Amita…I'm not gay!" Charlie stuttered as he gaped at her. Amita smirked at this explanation.
"That doesn't seem to be stopping you." She said and walked out, closing the door behind her.
Charlie sat as his desk stunned. Him and Larry, involved? His mind wasn't functioning properly, he couldn't understand this. Could he really be involved with someone and not notice? Did he really want Larry? Charlie didn't think he could answer those questions yet. Because, truthfully he didn't know the answers.
Charlie sighed, normally if he was confused he'd ask Larry but until he figured this out he didn't think he could face him.
Charlie collected his thins a little despondently and left his office, locking the door behind him. He rode home slowly and let himself into the house.
Don was sprawled on the sofa drinking a beer.
"Oh, hey Charlie." He frowned. "What's the matter?"
Charlie sat down in the armchair across from Don.
"Do you think it's possible to be involved with someone and not notice?" Charlie asked after a long pause. Don answered slowly.
"I think that sometimes you can feel something for someone but not notice it because it clashes with what you understand." Don was looking everywhere but at Charlie. Charlie gaped at him.
"You think that we're involved too?" Charlie asked, incredulous. Don threw his hands up.
"Charlie! He's here at least four days a week, he sleeps here more often then I do. You two have been together for years, you've just never done anything about it."
Charlie sat back in the chair. He stared at Don for a few long moments before finally speaking.
"If we were and I'm not saying we are, you'd be ok with it?" Charlie was tense until Don clapped him on the shoulder and grinned.
"I'm not so happy that you've left the responsibility of grandchildren to me but if you're happy I'm not going to get in the way of that." Charlie curled up into himself.
"But I'm not sure there's anything to get in the way of." Charlie said, a strange not in his voice. "I mean, I knew Amita was attractive but I've never thought about Larry like that." Don laughed at him.
"First Charlie, I think we've already established that Amita isn't a good comparison for people you're attracted to." He looked at Charlie questioningly. "You've never watched Larry's hands while he's working and felt flushed? Never enjoyed the feeling of his body heat when he was close?" Don raised an eyebrow. Charlie felt flushed remembering Larry leaning up against his back, heat bleeding into him, Larry's scent, dust and soap in his nostrils.
"I…" Charlie stuttered and Don smirked at him.
"Come on Charlie, let's get you a beer."
He was avoiding Larry. It was Wednesday and he'd managed to avoid him since Friday. He knew he was being a coward but he didn't think he could face Larry thinking of him as he was now. It was as though now that he had figured it out his libido was working overtime so as not to let him forget.
Charlie had buried himself in work and when Larry finally found him he was crouched over a desk looking tired and frazzled. Charlie's head shot up, brown eyes wide when Larry spoke.
"You look tired Charles." Larry said, stepping into the room.
"This is interesting, I wanted to finish it." Charlie was feeling flustered just having Larry in the room.
Larry walked over to the desk and leant over Charlie's shoulder to examine the equation. Charlie shivered as Larry came close and hoped like hell he didn't notice. No matter what other people were saying, Charlie wasn't convinced that Larry would feel the same. He wasn't going to loose Larry as a friend just because he couldn't control himself.
"I may not be a mathematician Charles, but I know this is not interesting, nor new." He gestured towards the equation. "Why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm not!" Charlie exclaimed. "I've been busy and…"
"It's alright, I have always known that you would one day outgrow our association, I must admit it I had expected it to happen much earlier." Larry said sadly and moved towards the door. Charlie flew out of his chair.
"Larry! No, I wasn't…I mean…" Charlie sighed. "I was trying not to screw this up."
"Trying not to screw what up?" Larry asked, pausing in the doorway.
"Us, our friendship…Please Larry, don't…" Charlie pleaded.
"How did you suppose you were to screw our friendship up Charles?" Larry asked, stepping back into the room.
Charlie wavered for a few moments, Amita and Don had been right about him, which statistically would make it more likely for them to be correct about Larry, but there was still margin for error. Larry was looking impatient and Charlie suddenly knew that if he didn't answer, things between he and Larry would be changed anyway.
He took a few large steps until he was standing right in front of Larry. He slipped a hand onto Larry's shoulder and lowered his head to touch their lips. His eyes fluttered shut as he felt an answering pressure and Larry's hand came up, a little nervously, to twine into his curls. Eventually they pulled apart but Charlies hand on Larry's shoulder kept them close together.
"Charles, I had no idea you felt like this." Larry said, flushed and a little anxious. Charlie grinned at him.
"Neither did I, but I did, I do, I just never quite figured it out before now. It's like a black hole, it's all the things that happen because of it that you notice, it's only then that you can know that it's there."
Larry smiled at the analogy but looked a little confused.
"And how did you come to this conclusion?"
Charlie smiled at him, all enthusiasm and brown eyes and slipped his hand down from Larry's shoulder to take his hand.
"I'll tell you over dinner."
Fin