I haven't been busy, I've had nothing to do for the past few weeks, and this chapter was relatively easy to write. I'm just a lazy bum. No excuses for me.

Plus I'm leaving on vacation for a week today. Wohoo!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own XLS. If I did, that would be AWESOME, but I don't.

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a LE MIME. To be sure that he is a happy freakish mime with mental issues, read these instructions and follow them carefully.

Information

Name: Le Mime

Element: Being a freaky mime-thing with white makeup who doesn't talk at all.

Size: Tall, thin, and freaky.

Putting Your LE MIME Together

You should have an imaginary box. It should be no problem opening it.

1) Imagine a handle on the box, and open it.

2) LE MIME should emerge. Wipe off all of his face paint.

3) Hide his face paint away, so he looks non-mime-ish.

4) Don't give it back until he sees you as his OWNER. (And maybe not even then. It makes him less creepy-mime-ish...)

Cool Things That Your New LE MIME Comes With

You will not have to spend oodles of time and money on your new LE MIME! He comes with a few things to keep him occupied when you don't feel like watching him trap people in boxes that aren't there in the first place. Your LE MIME comes with:

1) Facepaint and makeup. (Black and white.)

2) Black and white clothing.

3) The ability to trap people in imaginary boxes that don't really exist.

Cool Things That Your LE MIME Can Do

Trapping People In Boxes: Try getting him to trap RAIMUNDO and KIMIKO in there at the same time when they're mad at one another! It's fun... (Note: We are not responsible for any damage to RAIMUNDO, KIMIKO, or anyone within a 100-mile radius as a result of this advice.)

Trapping People In Invisible Ropes: ...For when the box doesn't work.

Scaring Small Children: "Mommy, why's that man wearing makeup and waving his arms in the air?" "Nevermind, honey, just move along and don't make eye contact..."

Compatibility With Other CHARACTERS

OMI: NOT COMPATIBLE. They're on different teams.

KIMIKO: NOT COMPATIBLE, again.

RAIMUNDO: NOT COMPATIBLE.

CLAY: NOT COMPATIBLE. (Wow, do I sense repetition?)

DASHI: NOT COMPATIBLE. They've never even met...

JACK: COMPATIBLE. They worked together early on in the series.

CHASE: COMPATIBLE, I suppose, since they're both evil. (I personally think CHASE is slightly creeped out by mimes, though.)

WUYA: COMPATIBLE on a certian level because they both worked with JACK. (She'll at least tolerate him.)

HANNIBAL BEAN: COMPATIBLE, I suppose...

FAQ

Q: "My LE MIME was running around putting people in boxes, but then got caught by the cops. Since he's a mime... Are they suppose to tell him 'he has the right to remain silent'?"

A: Yeah, they are. It's required by law. (nods as if she knows this)

Q: "My LE MIME has... dare I say it... talked! What do I do?!"

A: It's my observation that this is an early sign of mild OOC. If he continues to talk, or gives up miming, you may want to ask your Author or Authoress for more information about this medical condition. (On the other hand, him giving up miming wouldn't be such a bad thing. He'd scare less children that way...)

Q: "Um...my LE MIME is talking...and he sounds like a little girl...and he isn't miming anything anymore. Is he sick? If so, how must I cure him?"

A: Ok, if you truly suspect that this is a normal sickness, ask your LE MIME if he's sick. If he assures you he's fine, but keeps up this weird behavior, you may want to check in with your local Author or Authoress and see if this is a case of OOC. There's a lot of it going around lately, you know.

Q: "My LE MIME can't seem to trap people in boxes and do all those cool things he's supposed to do... WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?"

A: This is a likely a side effect of the OOC sickness that's going around. If he's recently had the disease, just wait for him to get better. He should, soon, once his character and motivation are back to their full potential. (If it's not fixed within a year, there's probably something wrong with the medicine we gave you. Oops!)

Warranty:

You can only return Le Mime if you feed him our medicine and he gets a giant purple rash, stops wearing his makeup, jumps off a cliff, gets attacked by rabid fangirls, and dies.

Alter-Warranty #1: (From Aria Pedrosa!) Warranty (Le Mime): You can only return LE MIME if he accidentally kills JACK by shooting almonds out of his nose at rapid speed while dancing the chicken dance. And if you want a refund (yeah, right) he needs to embed an almond in Jack's left big toe. Otherwise it doesn't count.

Alter-Warranty #2: (From IndigoCrayon!) You can only return Le Mime if he eats a bicycle pump, turns OMI into bag of peanuts, beheads Kimiko with an invisible axe and forms an conspiratorial alliance with Ninja Fred the teddy bear in order to destroy the tellitubbies for ever!

Alter-Warranty #3: (From PrinceAladdin2!) Warranty: You can only return LE MIME if shaves himself bald, jumps of a cliff, somehow surrives, eats ambrosia and becomes almost immortal, talks, continues talking for hours about what a lame jerk he is and how cool CHASE is, refuses to admit he said that when he finnishes, calls CHASE ugly and WUYA a freak, and is stomped to death by a hord of angry CHASE/WUYA fangirls.

Alter-Warranty #4: (From RaiKim4never!) You can only return Le Mime if he eats the worlds largest ball of paper, talks, and dies inside a box he made because he doesn't know the loophole.

(Yay!)

I don't have Happy Happy Joy Joy stuck in my head today. No, instead I have the Total Drama Island theme song. Why do I like that show so much? (head-desk)

By the way, next up is EVIL!RAIMUNDO, because lots and lots of people are rabid Raimundo fangir- I mean, they like him and would like another chapter for Rai. I'm only doing this because you guys are all so awesome, okay?

Again, thank you all for reviews and suggestions and warranties and questions and stuff. (WAY too much OOC going around, knock on wood! I shouldn't even mention it this close to the review button...) See you all later!

-Nikki