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Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Naruto, any of the characters, or any of the fanfics I may or may not be hinting at in this story. This is a work of dark humor in parts, and as such should be read in a manner of one with tongue stuck firmly in cheek.

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"I'm going to be Hokage some day! I am! Why won't they believe me?"

Naruto came to a stop in the forest. It was not as if the seven year old wanted to stop, but rather that the tears in his eyes made him unable to see well enough to continue. The cuts and bruises from the rocks the mob had been hurling were already beginning to close and fade, but the pain still remained like a phantom haunting the scene of its death. He paused only to quickly wipe his eyes before punching a nearby tree.

"I'm going to become Hokage, then they won't be able to hurt me! They will have to recognize me! Respect me!"

"Is that what you want? To become Hokage? To be respected?"

With the coming of the voice, Naruto's world wavered, the trees going blurry. A warm hand clenched his heart, causing it to skip a beat uncomfortably, and his own hand shot to his chest. Spinning, he searched for the speaker.

"Who is that? Where are you? If you try anything..."

I only want to talk. You won't find me out there, you damn brat. Close your eyes and look inside.

"I don't understand. Who are you?"

"Just close your damn eyes."

Naruto closed his eyes hesitantly, and with a rush of dark vertigo, the void spun around him like a thousand starry nights passing all in an instant. As the world staggered to a halt around him, the boy found himself standing in a large, empty space paved with rough-hewn flagstones. Before him rose a large iron gate, like the door of a prison cell stretching upwards into nothing. A dim orange glow came from the other side of this gate, the only source of illumination in the space. Two eyes, like huge yellow searchlights, snapped open in the darkness and a deafening clang filled the air as a huge, black paw batted at the cell door.

Naruto fell back, screaming in terror.

"And something like you wants to be Hokage?" The tone was mocking, and it cut through Naruto's terror, replacing it with anger.

"Yes, me! I will be Hokage!"

A dark chuckle was his response.

"That's more like it, though it still doesn't fill me with respect and awe."

"Shut up! Who are you? What is this place? Why am I here?"

"Right to the point. Excellent. Such a bright child." Kyuubi smirked at the way the boy preened at the praise. "This place is the Interface; a construct in your own mind that gives us a place to talk. You are here because we both want something and if we work together, we can both get what we want. As to who I am, let me enlighten you as to the nature of our conjoined fates. I am Kyuubi, lord of the demons, the nine-tailed fox, and you, Uzumaki Naruto are my jailer."

"No way. You're lying."

"Why would I lie? What good would it do me? You can see the cell for yourself. I'm sealed inside you by the dying actions of the Fourth. Those marks on your belly, they are the seal holding me here. Or did you think the villagers throw rocks and spit on you for some great crime you committed in the seven measly years you've been living?

"They hate me because of you?"

"No, your personality just stinks. Of course that's the reason!"

"Then get out! Go away and leave me alone!"

"Why didn't I think of that? Well, I'll just be on my way then." The Kyuubi's overly sweet voice suddenly changed to a roar. His eyes lit up with anger and his fur flared with orange fire, the bars between then casting harsh shadows across Naruto. "Oh wait, I'M A PRISONER! I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!"

Watching Naruto shying away, Kyuubi yanked his emotions back under control, pacing a quick circle before addressing Naruto again.

But in a way it's worse than that. The damn jutsu the Fourth used didn't just seal me in. I wouldn't all fit into one little human kit. It tried, and pieces squeezed out. It scattered me across the worlds."

"The worlds?" Naruto's voice was breathless.

"Yes, brat. There are more worlds than just this one, each with its own crazy god or goddess tinkering with things."

"How do you know all this?

"I'm a demon, brat. When you're a demon you learn about these things. In a way, learning about these things is what makes you a demon."

"I don't understand."

"No, but you might be able to if you work with me."

"Why should I help you?" Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the demon suspiciously. "I know you tried to destroy our village, and if the Fourth locked you up here, why should I let you out? You should be paying me rent!"

"Setting aside the fact that if I weren't here they wouldn't have a reason to hate you?" The old fox chuckled as Naruto blinked in consideration. "I can help you become Hokage. I can help you gain the respect you desire, and I would be willing to swear to leave you, your village and this world alone if you aid me."

Naruto frowned slightly, uncrossing his arms.

"And what do you want from me, damn fox?"

Kyuubi grinned.

"You are going to help me pick up the pieces, and in the process, you are going to become the most over-qualified applicant for the position of Hokage that ever lived."

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End part 1.

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