Torture By Hairbrush

By Sofri-chan

A/N: A funny humor/romance…I'm aware these are mostly FFVII characters but it fits in the KH timeline so that's where I put it. Post KHII. AxCxT, mostly AxC

Disclaimer: Square Enix owns FFVII and KH.

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TORTURE BY HAIRBRUSH

"If that hairbrush was just a little bit sharper…if that hairdryer was just a little bit hotter…they could pass for torture machines!" a blonde man growled from his seat in a plush chair.

Two pairs of feminine giggles greeted his complaint. "But Cloud-kun," one of the voices—slightly monotonous, yet laced with humor—replied. "If you hadn't neglected your personal hygiene on your campaign, this wouldn't be so trying." As she said this, she gave the brush a particularly fierce downward jerk.

"Ti-faaaa…help me," Cloud Strife, ex-SOLDIER, defeater of the evil One Winged Angel Sephiroth, and totally at the mercy of two flirtatious girls, begged his other companion.

"No help here, soldier-boy. You don't know HOW annoying it is to wander the worlds asking 'has anyone seen a man with spiky hair?' You could at least make it a bit more distinguishing," Tifa Lockhart, a spunky former bartender, replied.

Hearing this, Cloud frowned and went into what the girls had long dubbed "emo-mode." He crossed his arms, fixed his face into a scowl, and utterly ignored their conversation. That is, until Aerith Gainsborough—the flower-loving brunette with the brush—tugged at a stubborn knot, causing the grooming implement to pierce through Cloud's skin. Red blood dripped out, showing up clearly against his golden hair.

"Ooooooooowwwwwwwwiiiiiiiieeeeeee!!" the male squealed in a strangely feminine-sounding voice. It was too much. Aerith and Tifa cracked. They doubled over in laughter while Cloud continued to nurse his head. The laughter was eventually joined by catcalls from the neighboring room.

"'Ey, Strife ya little girl, hush down!" That would be Cid, of course.

"Has the 'high-and-mighty' Strife lost a battle at last! To a female?" Yuffie, always standing up for the idea of 'girl power'.

"One would think a warrior great enough to eradicate Sephiroth could easily take on an inanimate enemy such as a hairbrush." Leon, with his usual cynicism—wait until the girls decide he needs a new hairstyle, Cloud thought grimly.

"Aw, does Cloudy-kins need a bandage? I'll get him one for his…boo-boo," Tifa smirked and winked at Aerith as she stepped out of the room.

Cloud breathed a sigh of relief. He'd much rather be stuck with the flower-girl than the barmaid. But his relief was short-lived…

(About five minutes later)

"Aw, is poor widdle Cloud still bleeding…"

The ex-SOLDIER couldn't believe it. He'd tried every method possible to ignore her taunts, including emo mode, and…well, emo mode was his only method.

Hmm…that was IT!...he had an idea!

"Does Cloudy-kun need someone to kiss his boo-boos?" Aerith teased, brandishing the hairbrush and hairdryer in front of his face.

Before she had a chance to react, the fighter had grabbed her wrists, easily knocking the bloodstained brush to the floor. With a smirk that Aerith could easily tell he'd learned from Sora, the blonde spun the brunette girl so she was facing him before making his reply.

"Yes, Cloudy-kun would like that very much…"

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A/N: Yes, that was random. Based off the fit of laughter I had on hearing the 'We're looking with someone for spiky hair…No, spikier' line in KHII, several discussions between my friends and I on the subject of Cloud's hair, and my own feelings concerning hairbrushes. I actually kind of like it though…review please!