Author's Notes: Just a little silliness written for birdisland's prompt: Sirius/Harry, jealousy - for mctabby's Fourth Annual Cat Birthday Drabblethon. With thanks to topaz-eyes for the perfect title!
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"Mine's bigger."
"Is not! Gimme that thing." Sirius grabbed the tape measure, measured Harry's, then his, and frowned.
Harry grinned. "Told you!"
"Don't get all smug on me, you little bastard. I know you're cheating. Charmed the measuring tape, did you?"
"Yes. That's exactly what I did." Harry rolled his eyes. "What are you, twelve?"
Sirius scowled. "It's just not on," he muttered.
Harry nudged him, butting him with shoulder and chin. "C'mon," he coaxed, "admit it," but Sirius turned his face away. Harry didn't blink, merely leaned in and licked Sirius' ear.
"Stop it," Sirius growled.
"You're jealous," Harry whispered, crawling into Sirius' lap, wriggling his bottom. Sirius tried to push him away, but Harry wasn't having it. He chuckled and licked Sirius' neck. "I like it when you pout," he said, tongue dipping lower. "It's…cute."
"Cute? Cute?" In a swift motion, Sirius turned and pinned Harry to the ground. "There is nothing about me that can even be remotely described as cute. "Nothing!"
"Well, there's that little mole—"
"Oi!"
Harry grinned, leant up and nipped Sirius' lip.
"Stop distracting me."
"You're the one sitting on me."
"You insult my manhood and now you want me to fuck you?"
Harry looked thoughtful for a moment. "Pretty much, yeah."
"Ungrateful little bugger."
"That's the idea."
"Oi!"
Harry leant up and took off his t-shirt, tossing it so it covered the open cooler containing the two carp lying on the dock beside them, and grinned up at Sirius, blinking innocently.
Sirius' eyes darkened and he smirked. "Right. We're coming back tomorrow. But first, I'll show you bigger, Potter."