Title: Everyone's Favorite Sin
Author: iP
Summary: A look at the Death Note's peculiarities—of the characters, that is. RaitoL, LRaito.
A.N.: The child of conscience, guilt, and longing. I am so sorry, I hope this makes up for it. I knew it took so long, but I really am having a hard time in college. Eep. So yes. My writing is rusty since whoever-knows-when I last wrote DN fic. But anyway.
Btw: Seme is top, uke is bottom. Where? In lovemaking, of course. XD Just in case.
Enjoy!
He was so near. Oh so near.
Raito wondered why L's face kept reappearing on his unguarded mind every now and then. Moreover, he wondered why his mind started going unguarded. If you get what he meant, that is. He was having a hard time concentrating—blame it all on his schedule—mass murdering worthless criminals, studying for law school, maintaining a model student image, acting as a helpful member of the Kira Investigation Team, watching his nemesis, L, and most importantly—taking care of his hair.
The last two are actually interchangeable, but that's not the point.
L was weird these days. Rather, weirder than weird. He spent more time scrutinizing Raito than hunting the elusive-as-ever Kira. Yes, he is Kira, but L isn't supposed to know that. Of course, with L's intelligence he may have known that Raito is indeed Kira, but he made sure that his killing-spree schedule varied among different times of the day so as not to suspect him. He even got Misa backing him.
But then again, L would've seen through that.
He wondered why his brain stopped thinking of new ways to outnumber L. Must be a side-effect from his L daydreams and such. Not that he was daydreaming about romantic stuff, oh no. It was perfectly logical. Brains need rest. Geniuses need rest, too. That is why L was sleeping like a fetus inside his mother's womb on the sofa, biting his thumb, and head on Raito's lap—
His lap?
Raito pushed him.
"Get off me, Ryuuzaki!"
L fell to the floor with a dull thud. He twitched.
And snored.
"Ryuuzaki?" Raito narrowed his eyes. "You can stop pretending you're asleep; I know you are a light sleeper. Don't fool me, I have known you long enough to see if you are actually sleeping or not."
An eye opened. "How do you know I'm a light sleeper?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Raito replied sarcastically, testily. "We share the same room for almost every single day—don't you think I still don't know your actions?"
"I see." L studied him carefully with his black eyes. "Matsuda?"
Matsuda perked up as he stood in front of the still-curled-up L lying on the floor. "Yes, Ryuuzaki?"
"How many degrees do my folded legs and body make when I sit on the chair?"
Matsuda blinked.
"I am referring to angle measurements, Matsuda-kun."
Matsuda stammered. "I—I have no idea—Ryuuzaki-san..?"
"You should certainly know that."
"But I haven't calculated it—"
L stood up and scratched his right ankle with his left foot. "We see each other everyday; you almost live here. Tell me; what angle, in degree form, does my body make when I sit on the chair?"
It was enough for him. "Ryuuzaki! What is your problem?"
"Last time I am asking this," L stated, not taking his eyes off Matsuda. "How many degrees?"
"I have no idea." Matsuda replied humbly, dejected.
L was expressionless. "You can go." Matsuda left quietly, depressed that he failed to answer his question.
"Ryuuzaki, what is your problem?" Raito asked. "Why did you vent all your anger towards Matsuda?"
"I was proving my point." L replied. "I was showing you that you really like me."
"Like you? What are you talking about?!"
"How many sugar cubes do I put in my coffee when I am working?"
"Four."
"How many sugar cubes do I add on my coffee when it's ten in the evening?"
"Ten… but how does this relate to me liking you? Ryuuzaki, I think you seriously need to get off this case for a while." And keep off my head for a while too, he thought.
"That is my point. You know how many sugar cubes I consume when I'm not working and when I am. Matsuda doesn't know how the angle my body makes when I sit. It's clear to me who likes whom."
"I don't like you!"
"Well put, Raito-kun. You don't need to hide your affections from me, though it may hinder our night time investigations quite… drastically. I am open to all suggestions."
Raito glared at him. "Why don't you just find someone else to piss off?"
"I only piss off people who I know will be pissed by what I do." L stared at him, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Wha—"
"If you like me, we can start preparing for the papers."
"—What papers?"
L looked at him, still biting his thumb. "Marriage papers. Your dad offered to get it for us."
Right on cue, the door opened and a sweaty and panting Soichiro Yagami came in. "Here's the papers, Ryuuzaki. I am glad you accepted my son's unconscious desire for you. Thank you for enlightening him. I would be an arduous journey for him if it weren't for your help."
Raito was aghast. "What are you talking about? Dad? Wha—MARRIAGE PAPERS?"
"Of course. Who knows, you might've done things to me while it was your duty and I was taking a light nap." L studied the contents of the paper carefully. "This is appropriate enough. I am thankful for your help, father."
Soichiro nodded. "You are welcome, my future son-in-law."
"FATHER?!" Raito was shouting now. "Ryuuzaki, are you nuts?" He turned to his father. "And why are you calling him"—he pointed a finger at L, "—your son-in-law? What are you saying?"
L tilted his head. "I thought we were done with the explanations. "We are getting married, Raito-kun."
Raito's eyes widened, and glared at L. "I wasn't talking about that." He wheeled around to face his father who was looking at him emotionally. "DAD, ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I AM THE UKE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?" He narrowed his eyes at the detective. "Ryuuzaki—well, I am going to say this in your face: I—AM—SEME!"
L controlled his chuckle. "If that's what you want, Raito-kun—look, I'll put it here." And he scribbled in messy handwriting:
Conditions:
- the marriage is irreversible
- Kira investigation will continue
- RAITO IS SEME!
"Satisfied?" he asked.
"And why should I sign that thing?" Raito huffed.
"Why?" L mimicked. "Because if you don't, I'll be the seme in the relationship."
"What? Let me get that pen—" he grabbed the pen lying on the table and hastily signed it. "There! HA! I am seme!" he said proudly at the detective.
L smiled. L smiled his eerie smile.
Did I do something wrong—?
"Eh? Wait—don't take that paper—DAD, DON'T LEAVE WITH THOSE PAPERS!!!" he bellowed madly while L prevented him from running after his father.
Q: Does this mean you're back for good (and bad)?
A: Sadly, no. Three words: hectic college sked. But I shall try my best, if I get the inspiration to write. This chapter was made when a plot bunny attacked me. Ow.
Anyway, that was a bit--erm, fluffy-ish? Sorry about that. I hope it made you laugh even for a bit, though. And Raito's three exclamation points at the end--I couldn't help it. XD
Comments are forever loved!