Author's note:

The last time me and Melantha worked on this, we were sixteen years old. This is in no way made to be taken seriously but is more of a running gag between us now written for both of us to enjoy. You can still read and review…but we pretty much dislike naruto as a whole now, have no idea what the fuck is going on with the series, and don't expect us to keep up with this story or the current canon universe. This is Naruto as we knew it. Three years ago.

Oh, and visit this link:

.com/~phantom1ntheshadows

To: Ino Yamanaka

From: Sakura Haruno

Well…I know in my last letter things were going super well…but they're kind of not now. I know, I know, things switch back and forward so fast that you probably can't keep up with me anymore. I dunno what to think at this point…I think I'm just gonna give up. Maybe Naruto wasn't such a bad option after all.

::sigh::

Anyway. Sasuke's not talking to me anymore. At all. He's not just disappearing from view whenever he seems me coming around the corner. He's pretending as if I don't exist. You might ask what has triggered it this time.

Well. Do I have a story for you, Ino Yamanaka. And you Are Not Going To Like It.

It all started three days ago at the party. The giant rager party that one of the senior football players was throwing at his house. You see, I decided, in my stupidity, to actually GO to this rager party. You know as well as I do that I don't go to rager parties. This was where my first mistake laid.

The second was in the appletinis they were serving. Do you have ANY concept of how delicious one of these things is? It tastes like candy in a glass. CANDY, I tell you. I had a few of them…actually, I lost track, because one of the football players kept handing me new ones every time mine ran out.

No, I did not do anything stupid with one of the meathead jocks. I wouldn't approach one of those guys with a ten foot pole and you know that. He smelled disgusting…like a mix of aftershave and whiskey. Ugh.

Anyway, onto my story. It just so happens that Sasuke was at this party. You see…he also had a bit much to drink and as much as we like to think of Sasuke as an asexual freak he is, after all, a teenage boy.

You can see where this is going by now. I know you.

To make a long story short the cops got called and our parents got called and I am just SO embarrassed because the whole school found out…but I don't think Sasuke is ever going to speak to me again.

::cringes::

You better email me back before I DIE,

-Sakura Haruno

To: Sakura Haruno

From: Ino Yamanaka

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WIT YOU, BITCH!

You drop a bombshell like that on me, and then just...stop. No details. No elaboration. Seriously. Uncool. I need me some details. If your entire school gets to know about it, your best friend in the world, who just happens to unfortunately be halfway across the country, should know the details.

And the cops? What happened there?

So email me back. Quickly.

My life has not not NOT been very exciting. There's not a whole lot to do up here in CO. But...

Shikamaru and I are basically hanging out now. At least, we have every weekend night since I last emailed you. (He's kind of grounded on weeknights, on account of the fight.) He's really cool, Sakura. I mean, he was quiet at first, but we've gotten to really know each other and we have a lot in common.

He likes the same bad movies that I do and the same candy. And he always leaves these notes in my locker with like, funny comments about different teachers and students. Like, "Doesn't Tina look like a duck in that jacket" and "Asuma smoke count of the week: 46. Too high for a Tuesday? I thought so too."

And there was one...or two...make out sessions. The first one was amazing. We were just watching this really weird French movie in my living room. My parents were out (obviously, like I'd be doing this if they were home) and for the whole movie our hands were just like...lingering next to each other. And then the credits started rolling and he kind of locked his fingers with mine. And then we were kissing.

It was really sweet and he acted all embarrassed afterwards.

But really, you need to email me back. I HAVE to know what's going on! In details!

When I get those details, I'll fill you in a little drama of my own. Something's going on here and I don't think our moving was a coincidence. Shikamaru might be involved too, or rather his parents. And mine. It's complicated. I need some time to figure everything out.

Sincerely,

Confused in Colorado