A/N: I haven't written the last chapter yet, but it will probably have a happy ending. I do not own SGA and all mistakes are my own. Let me know what you think!
Paring: Backett/Cadman
Summary: Laura Cadman has just three months to live...
Laura Cadman sat on the edge of one of the soft infirmary beds, listening to the peaceful hum of the machinery that surrounded her. She'd been having a lot of painful headaches, which had turned to migraines recently, so she'd gone to the infirmary to see if they could offer an help. Carson had examined her and he'd decided to run some further tests and scans to find the source of the problem and she was waiting for the results.
She and Carson had stopped dating several months ago, but they'd been determined to remain friends. He'd always be the one to treat her various injuries and she'd be the one to protect him when they went off-world. They ate lunch together every now and then, and he was always there to listen to her bitch about McKay and even joined in sometimes.
"Laura," the sound of Carson's Scottish brogue brought her out of her train of thought. She smiled as he walked over to her. Laura looked at him. Her smiled faded slightly when she saw a look of uncertainty in his icy blue eyes. She'd always been suck a sucker for blue eyes, and his were about as blue as you could get. "Could I talk to you for a minuet, lass?" he asked.
She hopped off the bed and followed him into his office. It was a mess, had been for a long as Laura could remember. There was a cold cup of coffee left on the desk as well as various medical reports and files. His laptop was in sleep mode and there was an old copy of 'The Lord of the Rings' trilogy gathering dust in one of the desk draws.
"Do you have the results?" asked Laura, smiling when she caught a glimpse of an old photo of the two of them, underneath one of the medical reports.
Carson nodded and moved some of the chairs around so that they were facing each other. "Laura…I think you'd better sit down," he said as he thought about how he should tell her the results of her tests.
She looked at him again. Were the results really that bad? She sat in one of the chairs and Carson in the other. He sighed and took her hands in his. He'd always loved the way her hands felt, so soft and smooth. Carson had always regretted breaking up with her. It wasn't that he didn't like her. He loved her, and he treasured their friendship. He just wasn't good at long distance relationships, and living in two different galaxies is about as long distance as there is.
FlashbackCarson walked down the seemingly endless corridors the city until he got to the gym. He took a deep breath and opened the door. The smiling face of his beautiful girlfriend greeted him. He briefly wondered why he was doing this. She didn't deserve it, hadn't done anything wrong, hadn't done anything to anger him, but she was going back to Earth next week, and Carson just didn't know if they'd be able to keep the relationship going.
"Hey Carson," said Laura, completely oblivious to what was going to happen next.
"Hey, love," he started. "Can I talk to you for a minuet?"
Laura nodded. "Sure, what's up?" she asked.
Carson guided her over to a bench and sat down, unsure of how to start The Conversation. "It's about us. Our relationship."
Laura began to get a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. "What about it?"
Carson sighed. He really didn't want to do this, but he knew he had to. He wanted to make her happy and he just couldn't do that when they were so far apart. "These last few months together have been great. Some of the best I've spent on Atlantis. We've had some great times and I do really like you, but you'll be going back to Earth soon."
"Carson, I…" Laura interrupted.
He put a hand up to silence her. "Let me finish love. I'm just that not good with long distance relationships, you need someone who can be there for you, someone who will have time for you, someone who you can spend time with. I'm not that man, and that's why we've got to end it."
Laura thought about protesting, but then realised it wouldn't work. She knew he was right, they'd never be able to do anything a normal couple would, and they'd hardly ever see each other or even have time to write. She knew this was the only way, but that didn't make it any less painful.
She nodded and looked him in the eye. "I understand. We can still be friends, right?"
Carson smiled. "Of course we can."
Laura smiled back and picked up her gym bag, gave him a light kiss on the cheek and headed for her quarters. She was able to hold it together until she got there. She dumped her gym bag on the floor and collapsed onto her bed, where she let the tears fall and cried for hours.
End flashback"What is it?" she asked. "Carson, what's wrong?"
This was the part of Carson's job that he hated with a passion. The part of delivering bad news to people and their loved ones. He always felt so bad about not being about to do anything to help them with the suffering. He sighed. "I've got the test results. There not good, love."
He ran a thumb over her knuckles and carried on. "Those migraines you've been having, they were caused by a tumour, in your brain. I'm so sorry," he said, waiting for a reaction.
Laura stared at him and shook her head, not believing what she was hearing. A brain tumour? No, the results had to be wrong; maybe they mixed hers up with someone else's. They do that sometimes, don't they? She felt Carson gently squeeze her hands and she looked up to meet his gaze. "How long?" she whispered.
"Hmm?" he said.
"How long have I got?"
That was the question that Carson had been dreading the most. From the results of the tests, not very long. He entwined their fingers. "About three months," he said quietly, so quietly that he didn't think Laura had heard him until she nodded. She licked her lips and Carson saw tears well up in her light brown eyes. Laura never liked people to see her cry. To her it was a sign of weakness, but right now, she couldn't care less.
Carson pulled her into a hug as he fought back his own tears that were threatening to overwhelm him. The last thing Laura needed was to see him crying. He manoeuvred the chairs closer to each other and mentally locked the office door. He held her close, stroking her hair and muttering soft words of encouragement, saying that everything was going to be OK, even though they both knew it wasn't.
Eventually, Laura cried herself to sleep in Carson's arms. He picked her up and carried her to her quarters, not caring what anyone thought, or the rumours that would surely start. He mentally opened the door and dimmed the lights that had been left on. He lay her on the bed, took off her shoes and pulled the covers over her. He stroked back some stray locks of blonde hair and lightly kissed her forehead. Then he scribbled a quick note and left it on her bedside table, and left her to sleep in peace.
Laura woke up the head morning feeling like her head was about to explode. Then she remembered why. She touched her cheek and felt the dried tears. It hadn't been a dream.
She sat up and looked around. She wondered how she got to her quarters? Can brain tumours cause memory loss? Then she saw that note on her bedside table and realised Carson must have brought her here.
The note read:
I'm here if you need anything.
Carson xxx
She had to read it a few times before she took it in. Feeling a sudden urge to vomiting, she made her way to the bathroom and waited for the feeling to subside. She buried her head in her hands and took a couple of deep breaths.
She was confused. She didn't know what she was meant to be feeling. Scared? Angry? Regretful? Angry? Yes, anger is good; anger makes you feel better.
She walked back into her room, kicking everything that was in her way. She tipped over the table, she smashed a vase and threw the framed photo's on her desk across the room. She picked up the last frame and was about to chuck it when she saw what was inside it. It was a picture of her and Carson, taken a few weeks before they broke up. Carson had his arms wrapped around her waist and his head on her shoulder. Instead of throwing the photo she slammed it onto her bed as hard as she could. Ignoring the tears that were streaming down her face, she went into the kitchen and got herself a drink.
Carson Beckett sat in his office, a bunch of paper work sitting in front of him. He knew it had to be in the following morning, but he just couldn't concentrate. Laura's test results were sitting in his desk draw, mocking him.
He didn't deny that he still had feelings for the young marine, he just denied it to everybody else. After all, they'd only make fun of him.
Screw the paper work, thought Carson as he left his office and headed to his ex's quarters. He knocked on the door and waited for her to open it. She didn't, so he knocked again and became a little worried when she still didn't answer.
Using his gene to open the door he stepped inside and looked around. It was dark and it looked like a tornado had hit. He heard something crack and looked down to see a photo that had been smashed. That wasn't the only thing that was broken, there was a lot of glass on the floor, the tables were upside-down and he couldn't see Laura.
He walked further into the room and scanned the room. He saw her sitting in a corner with her legs brought up to her chest.
"Laura?" he whispered as he moved closer to her.
He knelt down in front of her and said her name again. She looked up to see a pair of worried blue eyes staring at her with concern. "Hey," she whispered.
He could smell alcohol on her breath and saw two bottles lying beside her. One was empty, the other half full. "How you feeling?" he asked.
She gave a small laugh. "I have three months to live Carson, how do think I feel?"
"You never know. Something might come up; maybe we'll find a way to help you. There's got to be some Ancient device that could help," he said, trying to convince both himself and her.
Laura shook her head. "I'm a goner Carson."
But he wouldn't have any of it. "You don't know that."
"Yes Carson, yes I do! I'm dying and there's not a thing anyone can do about it!" she snapped, then she took another swig from the bottle.
Carson shook his head slightly and put a hand on her arm. "Laura, listen to me. I know you're scared, I know you're worried, but drinking is not the answer."
"How do you know what I'm feeling?"
"Because I'm a doctor, I know how people react to something like this," he said, as he gently pried the bottle from her hands and set it to one side. He whipped away some tears and put his hand on her cheek. Laura always loved the way his hands felt on her body. He had the hands of a healer.
"What am I gonna do?" she mumbled, putting her hand on top of the one on her cheek.
"Why don't ye go an' take a nice hot bath while I get ye something to eat?" he said, in a thick Scottish accent that he only put on when he was scared or worried.
Food was the last thing she wanted right now, but nodded anyway. Carson helped her to her feet, put an arm around her waist and led her to the bathroom. He closed the door and went into the small kitchen-like area of her quarters and searched trough the cupboards, he knew she wouldn't mind. He found a tin of soup and warmed it up. He put a lid on top of it and went to fetch Laura some clean clothes.
He knocked on the bathroom door and got a mumbled response, which he took as confirmation that he could come in.
He opened the door and walked in. Laura was lying on her back in a steaming bath. Carson blushed and looked away. "Don't worry, you've seen me like this before," said Laura, staring at the ceiling.
Carson smiled slightly at the memories, put the clothes on the toilet seat and left her alone.
She came out twenty minuets later dressed in clean clothes. She was a little tipsy from the alcohol, but made it to the couch where Carson was sitting. She looked around and saw that he'd changed the sheets on her bed and cleaned up the broken items in her room. She felt bad about snapping at him, but decided not to say anything.
"Feeling any better?" asked Carson.
She nodded. "A little," she said. She ate a few spoonfuls of soup and left the rest, saying that she felt a little nauseous.
Carson looked at his watch and realised it was getting late. "Ye look tired. Get some rest lass," he said.
Carson took her hand and led her over to the bed. She lay down and he pulled the covers over her. "Will you…will you stay for a while?" she whispered so quietly that Carson almost didn't hear her.
He knew he had other things he needed to do, but he couldn't stop himself from pulling up a chair and taking her hand in his. "I'm not going anywhere love."
TBC...