Finally. That is all.

Chapter Four

Oh Grim Reaper; Quoth Thee Nevermore

"We're here! We're here!" Matsumoto chanted blissfully as she and her taichou encroached upon the double doors of the Third Music Room.

"Could you at least pretend you're not enjoying yourself while I'm still around?"

"I'm sorry, Taichou! I just can't help myself! I feel like a proud mother seeing her son off to his first day of kindergarten!"

"This situation is nothing like that!" Hitsugaya hastily tried to cut her off before she could say anything worse. It didn't work.

"To think, my taichou's going to be fueling all those pretty, little high school girls' fantasies! Remember to be nice, don't lose your temper, and, most important of all, smile!" She pulled the edges of his mouth up. "Oh, you have to tell me all about it later!"

He yanked her hands away from his face, eyes iced over in barely contained rage. "You're speaking as if you're not coming with me."

"I'm not, Taichou. Remember? I told you needed to talk to someone about customizing this uniform," she explained, not the least bit ashamed as she grabbed her breasts to illustrate. "So you be good, ne?"

It took all of his self-control not to explode as she skipped off in the opposite direction, still cooing about his "first step into manhood" and other maddening nonsense. He continued to seethe in front of the doorway for some time before he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Toushirou?" Twitch. "You really came?"

"You didn't believe I was serious?" he replied haughtily, turning to once again face Fujioka Haruhi. She was the sanest one he'd met yet, but he wasn't exactly in the best of moods.

"I thought you might've been joking," she sighed mildly, "but I guess you're not that type of person, are you?"

"No, I'm not."

"Well, I don't really understand, but… Ah!" she suddenly interrupted herself when she saw the time. "They're going to scold me for being late again!"

"Late?" Hitsugaya scoffed as she reached for the door. "Classes only ended fifteen minutes ago. How could you possi-" The doors opened wide, and Hitsugaya's words clogged themselves in the back of his throat.

"Welcome."

The other six members of the Host Club were garbed in Elizabethan ruffles and coats, the second year blond standing in front of the rest, under a blazing spotlight. Where the spotlight was coming from, Hitsugaya could only guess. He did not dwell on it as almost as soon as the spotlight had turned on, Suou Tamaki had begun a dramatic, emotional monologue in spotless English.

"'Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?'"

"I don't know what you're going on about, but whatever it is, I can assure you, it is indeed your brain that is the problem."

Tamaki's eyes widened, holding his hands out blissfully. "Haruhi!"

"You're late," Kyouya stepped forward, effectively pushing his fellow second year out of the way before he could cause any lasting damage.

"Ah, about that…"

"I'm afraid I was the one who held him up," Hitsugaya intervened. "Fujioka is not at fault."

Ootori Kyouya curtly pushed his glasses up he bridge of his nose. "What are you doing here again?"

"Haruhi…" trailed the Hitachiin twins, both sporting knowing smirks. "Did you bring in another one?"

"I hope he doesn't request us…" Kaoru sighed.

"It would cause such a scandal..." Hikaru drawled, equally as conniving.

"Hardly!" Hitsugaya shouted. "You two are the scandal!"

"Toushirou-kun wants to…" Haruhi began to impatiently explain once again, but she stopped when Hitsugaya lifted his arm in front of her.

By this time, Tamaki had recovered physically and was pouting behind Ootori. Hitsugaya stepped regally forward until he was only a meter in front of the sulking Host Club King. He then proceeded to kneel down on one knee, bowing his head forward.

"I humbly ask that you allow me to become a member of your Host Club."

Kyouya. "No."

Honey. "But he asked really nicely…."

Hikaru. "That doesn't mean anything. He was yelling at us only a couple of seconds before that."

Kaoru. "No one's ever just asked to join. It feels strange."

Haruhi. "There's no point in arguing. In the end, it's Tamaki-senpai's decision anyway."

The Host Club members all turned to the end of their make-shift conference table, where Tamaki himself was staring down at the ground in a cold sweat.

"So…?" Haruhi prompted.

Tamaki twiddled his thumbs. "Well, he did ask really nicely…."

"You can't be serious," Kyouya groaned. Something about that Hitsugaya just didn't seem right to the second year, and he didn't like that Tamaki was acting so hesitant. When it had come to every other member of the Host Club, Tamaki had made up his mind so quickly that he hadn't even been able to keep up. Now they were working just to get him to come to a decision at all. "Weigh the pros and cons of the situation before spouting off something like that."

"Pros and cons…" Tamaki trailed off before suddenly snapping his fingers in realization. "Yes! That's it! Hikaru! Kaoru!"

The two Hitachiin twins were up and ready in an instant, producing a chart and matching graduation caps from a place Haruhi could only imagine. Kaoru pointed to the top of the chart, which now they could see was a crude rendition of Hitsugaya Toushirou's body.

"Observe his hair and eyes," Kaoru began, his tone miserly. "They are a far cry from the Japanese norm, making them a definite selling point. He is unique."

"However," picked up Hikaru, "while he looks young like Honey-senpai, he has the demeanor and mannerisms of an old man, thereby nulling any positive traits he may have."

Haruhi looked on at the satisfied twins with disdain. "That was obviously biased."

Before either of them could retort, the oh-too-familiar sound of grinding gears filled the music room. The hidden stage began to rise up to ground level, revealing the Host Club's female manager in all of her superiority-complex driven glory.

"Ohohohoho!" she laughed, looking down on the gathered Host Clubbers with an egotistical grin. "That was a nice try, but no boys such as yourselves could possibly begin to understand the fleeting subtleties of a woman's heart! Except for Haruhi, of course. If you are truly considering inviting a new member into the club, then should I, the club's manager, not have a say?"

Kyouya seemed to be the only one capable of coming up with a cognizant answer. "No."

Renge dutifully ignored him, running over to Haruhi and clasping her hands. "You can see, can't you, Haruhi? The vast potential for moe that he carries in those beautiful eyes is astounding! We must have it!"

"What do you mean?" Honey piped up from behind his stuffed rabbit.

"Yes! What do you mean?!" Tamaki burst in, separating the self-proclaimed manager from her self-proclaimed love. "If Haruhi understands, then I must understand as well!"

"Isn't it obvious…?" she wagged her finger at them. "While all of your characters are bright and acknowledging, his is the exact opposite! The loner type! In every game and manga, there is always at least one character who does not conform, refuses to allow the other characters to get too close! He watches them from afar, protecting them from the enemies they didn't even know they had. But everyone knows the reason he does this is because he's simply afraid! Alone all his life, he knows not how to accept the tender touch of a woman and so he tries to push everyone away! Just knowing that his friends are safe is enough for him, even if they are forever out of his reach! Oh, what sort of horrid tragedy has he faced, that the only one who can approach him is that outrageous third year?

"So I'll make it simple!" she concluded in full flourish. "It is the locked up dream of nearly half the female population to break past that cold exterior and see the glorious smile beneath! Including mine!"

"I see, I see!" Tamaki exalted, getting just as worked up as Renge. He ran to the doors and opened them wide to where Hitsugaya was impatiently waiting. He grasped the boy's shoulders firmly, tears spewing from his eyes. "I never knew you had such a difficult life! But I understand now! I have been enlightened by an angel! You have no need to protect from afar any longer! From now on, the Ouran High School Host Club shall be your fellow knights!"

"Oi, oi…" Hitsugaya trailed off, shaking in barely contained indignation. "Don't make things up about other people's lives."

The rest of the club made their way to the door, if only to pry the two apart. Tamaki turned to them, pulling Hitsugaya close as he commanded with fist outstretched. "From this day forth until graduation, Hitsugaya Toushirou shall officially become a member of the Host Club!"

As chaos ensued, Ootori Kyouya sighed miserably. Well, at least a decision had been made. It was Tamaki's club and Tamaki's decision. He still wasn't sure about that Hitsugaya, but…

"Kyouya?" Haruhi trailed off, also having stayed as far away from the crazy idiots as possible. "Are you … smiling?"

The second year's frightening smirk only widened. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Perhaps this could prove beneficial after all.

Author's Note: Incidentally, the passage Tamaki recited is from the play MacBeth by Shakespeare.