Hi all!

Okay, so this chapter took me a teensy bit longer to put up than I anticipated. Sorry, for the false I hope I gave you in my review responses! *ducks head in shame*

Anyway, I know the latest chapters have been a bit slow, but I promise things will get interesting again! Please note this chapter has NOT been beta-ed so I apologize for any mistakes, feel free to point them out to me if you catch them, though! Hope you enjoy this one!

-DF

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

Chapter 24 – A Future of Uncertainty

The holidays were almost at an end, with just four days left before the other students returned. Draco wasn't sure if he wished for a longer holiday or a shorter one. At times the silence was stifling. The presence of other students was at the very least a distraction from the turmoil in his mind. Yet at other times, he couldn't bear the thought of having to put on his dutiful Death Eater-to-be, mask; having to watch his every word and action, to put on the Death Eater show. It was tiring, and worse, he felt little inclination to do so.

There still remained the problem of what to do about his situation regarding the Dark Lord. With only a few months until summer left, he had to come to a decision soon. He had to decide fast, especially if his decision took him away from the path of the Dark Lord. He would need time to prepare an alternate arrangement of some sort, protection or a means of fleeing the country. Furthermore, the situation with his godfather was baffling. The more he thought about it, the more confused he was. The fact that Severus would do anything for Draco was not hard for him to imagine. But what kind of game his godfather was playing was confusing; after all, the Dark Lord was impossible to cross, surely Severus wasn't deceiving him! It was unthinkable. The Dark Lord could not be fooled, even by a man as cunning and brilliant as Severus!

No, there has to be something else, some other explanation, Draco thought.

"At this rate, we're going to have to make a schedule for this place," Hermione's voice broke through his thoughts. He looked over to see her leaning against the entry arch to the alcove.

"What are you doing here, Granger?"

"Same as you, I imagine. Looking for a quiet spot to think, is all," Hermione said casually as she pushed off from the wall to come toward the window.

"Right…." Draco said awkwardly.

"All right, Malfoy?" Hermione asked. He looked strained and despite their rough history, she felt a spark of worry for the pale Slytherin.

"What do you mean?" He asked defensively.

"You just seem… stressed, that's all," Hermione replied uncomfortably.

"Oh, uh, right… I mean, aren't we all, these days?" Draco asked, trying to deflect.

"Some more than others," Hermione agreed.

"Well, some have more reason than others," Draco countered.

"What troubles you today, Malfoy?" Hermione asked, unable to hide her curiosity.

"Why does it concern you, Granger?"

"It doesn't… it's just that you seem like you could use someone to talk to."

Draco sighed. "Maybe you're right, if only it were that easy."

"Want another oath?" Hermione asked only half joking.

"No, I already know what you would tell me."

"Then it's a listening ear you need."

"True…."

"Are you offering?" Draco asked.

"Oh, uh… well, I guess," Hermione answered awkwardly.

"Never mind, it's not something I can discuss with you anyway," Draco said with a sigh.

Before Hermione could answer, he brushed past her and sauntered down the hall. Hermione looked after him thoughtfully. She wondered what could be bothering him so much that he would consider confiding in her of all people. Certainly, they had become friendly, but they were not friends per se.

Shaking her head, she looked out the window, allowing her thoughts to drift back to her own problems. She had enough of those without adding the burden her former enemy's problems too.

The Burrow was in a flurry of activity

Bill suddenly came for a visit and the house was in chaos. He had to leave shortly after Christmas, but returned just as suddenly without any notice. Molly was beyond happy and the Weasley children were equally thrilled. Bill was always a source of entertainment; there was never a shortage of fascinating stories from his travels abroad. Harry just liked having another member of his adoptive family around. Despite his excitement, the strange comings and goings of one of the most elusive Weasleys was concerning. In fact, throughout the holiday, Order members were appearing and disappearing somewhat erratically, but trying to pretend it was just business as usual. But the more he thought about it, the more Harry was sure that the situation with Voldemort had once again changed. There was too much activity for it to be anything otherwise. The attacks that were so shocking at the start of the holiday quickly became the norm, so much that they hardly flinched when a new account cropped up. The war was escalating and the occupants of the burrow were busy trying to pretend it was just a normal winter holiday. Unfortunately, Hermione's absence made it obvious it was far from ordinary, and the increased security and secrecy hardly helped maintain the image of normalcy. Harry felt the change more keenly now with both his godfather dead and Hermione being different, and to top it all off, his connection with Voldemort was less stable than ever with random pangs from his scar occurring intermittently every few days. He had yet to say anything to anyone. Usually, he would confess this kind of thing to Hermione, but she had enough to deal with without having to worry about him too. He could tell Ron, but he didn't want to ruin what little holiday spirit his best friend had with worries of Voldemort mucking about in his head.

The feeling of joy and freedom that the holidays always brought, even in previous years when things were tense, was noticeably missing this year. For once, Harry was almost relieved to be returning to Hogwarts in a few days. If nothing else, classes were a glorious distraction from the violent turn the war had taken in recent months… a distraction, which was missing during the holidays making the war a little too prominent in his mind than was comfortable. Not that he ever really forgot about what was happening outside Hogwarts grounds, but there was a feeling of distance that only really existed while living in Hogwarts. Here, with Order members coming and going in various states of exhaustion, the toll that the war was taking on everyone was starkly clear from the way Tonks' hair reverted to her natural brown unbidden to the frequent appearances from Kingsley Shackbolt. It didn't help that Molly was over-compensating for the stress and resorted to being extra cheerful when the "kids" were around. All in all, Harry wanted nothing more than for the holidays to be over and return to school.

Hogwarts

Hermione was scribbling furiously in her notebook, trying to devise a new plan for how to create a decent mental barrier. They had managed to work beyond the memory loops, but now she was struggling to create a good mental landscape in which to navigate the loops. It was a complex idea and one she was truly finding challenging. The level of Occlumency Snape was teaching her went beyond the superficial "get-out-of-my-head" approach, but was so much more fascinating and difficult than anything she had ever done before, and for that very reason, all the more exhilarating. She was safely ensconced in a cozy corner of the library that few even knew existed. Behind the rows of shelves and far from the tables meant for studious children, was a hidden alcove that opened up into what was essentially a small sitting room. There were four sturdy armchairs and a small window seat that overlooked the school grounds. She had found this particular spot last year when she was escaping the prying eyes of Umbridge, but had decided it was a secret spot for herself.

Hermione sighed as she pressed her head against the window in thought. She had been actively avoiding both her head of house and the Headmaster for much of the holidays, but they had managed to corner her earlier in the day for a "consultation" session, as they called it. Despite her best attempts, their questions and comments did make an impact and she felt her mind drifting back to their conversation. For once she actively wished Snape had been there. It was strange how much she relied on him these days, in fact, she often felt he was a welcome support during such conversations.

I bet he would have had a good answer for the Headmaster, Hermione mused.

Thinking back, Hermione realized that she probably gave all the wrong answers to Dumbledore's questions. When he asked her where she saw herself in 5 years, she could only answer that she hoped she would still be alive and the bloody war would be over. When he asked what type of profession she would like to pursue, all she could think to say was that there was no point pursuing any given profession as she would be fighting in the war alongside Harry. It was like for every question he asked about her future, her answer would always come back to the war. But there was also the practical aspect to his questions. Hermione really didn't have any idea of what she would do after she graduated. Even though she knew she would be fighting with Harry, she would still need a job of some sort, if nothing else, as a cover. This lead to his questioning which subjects she felt most partial to, and unfortunately, her answer was her private lessons. Her usual classes failed to capture her attention the way they used to, but the lessons she had with Snape were fascinating to the point of obsession. She loved the physical and mental stimulation the lessons provided. But again, now that she thought about it, she did need to determine what subject she was interested in. Just when it seemed like her life had settled down again into something less confusing, these questions came up and forced her to make long term plans. Mainly, it was hard to care about her future in terms of a career when her entire life hinged on the outcome of the war and her role in it.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone calling her.

Who on earth is here looking for me? Maybe professor Snape? Hermione thought confused. There weren't all that many people who addressed her as simply, "Granger".

Getting up and peeking out of her little den, she saw Malfoy poking about looking for her.

"Malfoy?" Hermione asked, stepping out into the open.

"Where were you?" He asked, suspiciously. She practically materialized out of nowhere.

"Oh… um, there's just a small little place back here…." Hermione said, awkwardly. Then, as an after thought said, "just don't tell anyone, I don't think anyone else knows about this place."

"Right."

"You were looking for me?" Hermione prompted.

"Oh, uh, yeah… um… are you busy?"

"No, not really."

"Does your offer still stand?" Draco asked vaguely.

Hermione scrunched her nose and tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What offer?"

"From earlier… about listening," Draco said uncomfortably.

"Oh…." Hermione replied, surprised. "Of course!" She could hardly believe her ears. Draco Malfoy, Slytherin extraordinaire was asking for help, actually seeking her out! Apparently, miracles do happen!

Hermione went back into the sitting room and reclaimed her seat by the window, allowing Draco to either sit in one of the chairs or pace as he was apparently, intending to do.

"This will be confidential?" He asked curtly.

"Naturally, but I can give you another oath if you so wish," Hermione offered kindly.

"No… no, I think I can trust you…." Draco replied cautiously.

"Okay, then, I'll give you my word then, that nothing you say will leave this room."

"Right."

Draco continued to hover near the back of one of the chairs, struggling to determine how to start.

"I don't think I want to be a Death Eater," Draco suddenly blurted out. His eyes widened comically, as he realized what he had just said. He definitely had not meant to start with that particular declaration.

Hermione nearly fell off her perch on the window seat by the force of her surprise.

"Did I hear that correctly, Malfoy?" Hermione asked uncertainly, shock rippling through her like a pulsing wave.

Malfoy tensed his jaw, looking around like a caged animal, but gave her a curt nod nonetheless.

"Wow… just wow, okay…." Hermione babbled, trying to process what he had just disclosed.

"Well?"

"I- I- are you sure?" Hermione asked uncertainly. What possible response could she give to such a statement!

"Yes, I'm bloody well sure," Draco snapped in annoyance.

"Okay, just making sure."

"It's not like I can just run around changing my mind about the subject all the time," Draco sneered. "I'm a bloody Malfoy, I'd be cursed on the spot."

"Yeah…."

"I am thoroughly and completely fucked aren't I?" He asked collapsing into the chair across from her. His posture sagged and he suddenly looked every bit like a confused and frightened teenager.

"Bloody hell… would it have killed you to warn me that you were going to shock me to death?" Hermione asked, unsure how to proceed.

"Well, it's not like I was planning on starting with that."

"Christ… okay… okay…." Hermione babbled. "So, want to tell me how you decided you don't want to continue the family tradition?"

"Well, I didn't suddenly become a muggle-loving, saint like your precious Potter, if that's what you're asking."

"Malfoy," Hermione growled.

"Well, you know about my mother… so there's that…."

"Okay, makes sense."

"And then there's you."

"Me? What do you mean?" Hermione asked, confused.

Draco shifted uncomfortably. He hated showing his vulnerable side, especially to someone like Granger.

"I- well- that is, I think what happened to you is disgusting… horrifying…."

"I still can't get the image of you in the hospital wing the other night out of my head… gives me bloody nightmares," Draco continued with a shudder.

Hermione nodded in understanding. "You're not a violent person," Hermione said astutely.

"Not like that I'm not, Merlin, I didn't know!"

"Know what?"

"Just what they did to you. I mean I knew, but I didn't really know," Draco explained vaguely.

"And just like that you decided being a Death Eater isn't for you?" Hermione asked, incredulously.

"No… obviously not," Draco said rolling his eyes. "Bloody hell, Granger, this is my life we're talking about. Just admitting that to anyone is like giving myself a death sentence."

"I know," Hermione said quietly.

They lapsed into silence. What was there to say? She didn't understand, though. She did, in that it was clear to her he was not the arrogant and cruel boy he used to be, but to be altered to this extent was truly shocking to her. Turning away from Voldemort was against his entire upbringing, pulling him away from everything he was to inherit, born to be, even!

"So what are your options?" Hermione asked, reverting back to her usual, practical self.

"Die by the hand of the Dark Lord, or die by the hand of Potter and company," Draco said blandly.

"That's not true… I mean really, what are you planning on doing?"

"I don't know!" Draco exclaimed. "I just know that I can't be a Death Eater and I have no idea what comes after that."

"You could fight for us," Hermione suggested quietly, aware that the prospect would not be terribly appealing to the blond Slytherin.

"Because your friends just looove me, don't they," he sneered in response.

"You don't have to like each other, you just have to be tolerant. They wouldn't turn you away," Hermione said sincerely.

"Why are you helping me, Granger?" He asked suddenly.

"What?" Hermione asked, confused by the sudden change in topic.

"Why do you listen, care, help… I'm the son of the man who destroyed you and your family."

"But you're not him," Hermione answered simply. "Haven't we been through this already?"

"Yeah… but still… he's my father."

"And we both hate him. End of story, right?"

"… yeah, I guess it is, isn't it?" He said quietly.

"Would you vouch for me?" He asked unsurely. It was almost cruel to ask her of all people to help him, but he couldn't help but trust her now.

Hermione looked at him with an assessing gaze. He had changed so much in the past few months and she felt he was sincere. How could she deny his request when he had sought her out for help? But vouching for him would be taking responsibility for him, a responsibility that would be hers regardless of what happened.

Hermione closed her eyes in thought. Finally, she opened them.

"Yes."

Thanks for reading! Leave a review, please. :)