Cuddy: Well, we're back. And it hasn't been three or four months.

Sky: And I have my soul back! HUZZAH!

House: And I don't care about either of those things! Though, it was a huge pain getting Sky's soul back…

Sky: Turns out the producers of Resident Evil are zombies too….

House: True dat'.

Cuddy: You loons are getting off topic. To sum up, Sky is no longer a soulless wretch, and you guys are getting your next chapter way ahead of schedule! Remember to read and review!

Chapter 16: The Sweet Taste of Betrayal

Marcus was waiting near the hospital entrance with a small smile on his face. It was all coming together. All this madness would soon be over. And it was a good thing too. He'd only been in town a few days and already his sister and her merry band of loony toons were taking a toll upon his sanity …

He let out a maniacal laugh. Oh, but it would be worth it. If getting his most beloved sis her happy meant kissing his sanity goodbye, he would gladly do it a thousand times over. And his own plan to ensure this, was coming together nicely.

You see dear readers, somewhere along the line, Marcus had decided the best way to help his sister was to allow certain events to happen without his intervention. After all, that Wilson guy was to much of loon to stop someone as sinister and fiendishly clever as Stacy.

"She's here."

The voice of everyone's favorite Australian doctor filled the air.

"Is she alright?"

Chase chuckled, "She's doing as well someone who's just been ninja tackled can do. I put her in House's office, just like you asked. Cam's taking to watching her however."

"Not an unforeseen complication," the younger Cuddy gave the doctor a hard look. "Do you have what it takes to deal with your lovely little lady?"

"Always. And you?"

Marcus smirked and grasped his friends hand in a firm handshake, "I've always got what it takes when it comes to Liz's happiness."

And with that, they retreated back into the hospital, each with their own mission.

Yes, it truly was all going according to plan.

H/O/U/S/E

"Running, Running,

As fast as we can

Do you think we'll make it? (Do you think we'll make it?)"

"Is this song about the zombie invasion?"

"Wilson, this is Gwen Stefani!"

The oncologist shrugged cheerfully, "She could be a very well educated pop star."

Ever since Stacy had given him that drug he'd been making comments like that. Amazingly though, they all pertained to the same things. Namely, Cuddy's ninja status or a legion of zombies overtaking them. He had toned down however, over the course of their drive.

They were nearing the hospital now. Wilson pulled off to the side of the road. The diagnostician in the passenger seat was worried but realized Wilson was likely just going back into evil genius mode.

Turned out he was right. "What's wrong, Wilson?"

"I believe our story is coming to it grand finale. Forces far greater then us are at work now Foreman, and they are driving us to an inevitable conclusion…"

"So what should we do?"

He was nodding slowly as though to the thoughts in his own dysfunctional mind. " I have no clue, but I sense we're going to need some jello…"

"But we told Cuddy we would go and help House…"

"I sense this jello will help House."

The two shared a conspiritory grin, "Well…if you sense we need it…"

And so, with renewed zeal, the duo headed off on an epic quest of their own. A quest so precarious no other had attempted it…

Namely, to find a store that sold jello at 4 A.M.

H/O/U/S/E

"You don't seem overly surprised…."

House let out an aggravated huff as a response. Amazingly however, it didn't seem to be aimed at her. "Nope. I told her! I told her I'd get caught. But did she listen? Noooo! Damn that woman and her heaving cleavage!" He settled down crankily into one of the available chairs, arms crossed across his chest disapprovingly.

Through it all Stacy looked beyond confused. She had captured him, right? Wasn't he supposed to be more…terrified? She knew how to handle terror; this was just….disturbing…

"Stace? You in here?"

For the first time since forever, Stacy found herself grateful for the young Cuddy's presence. "Oh, thank god! Marcus!" She fought the urge to throw her arms around him in sheer relief. Instead, she opted for a friendly half hug; considering the lengths they usually went to avoid physical contact with each other, the younger man tensed in understandable shock, obviously not certain if she intended it to be a romantic gesture or if it meant she was going to hit him.

Either way, he looked horrified. "You alright there, Stace?"

"Just fine. Greg's just acting a little….weird."

"Which is different from normal in what way?"

She gave him a surprisingly warm grin. "Could you just watch him for me for a few minutes? I forgot something in my car and…"

"Don't spare it a second though, hun."

Marcus was polite enough to stay smiling as his arch-nemesis turned girlfriend (ish) person vacated the office. Flicking down one of the blinds, he checked to make sure she had actually out of range before making his true intentions known.

"House!"

"Marcus!"

The diagnostician received a glare for his efforts at levity. "Alright fine, what do you want to tell me?"

"I'm going to engineer an escape for you."

"Wow, my life went from horror movie to spy movie in five minutes." Another glare. "Stop glaring, punk! I'm a sarcastic jerk, haven't you learned that yet?"

"I had the misfortune of witnessing all your lunacy first hand."

Houses interest in this conversation was rapidly failing. As was the alcohol he had so erroneously ingested. As a result, his pleasant buzz was rapidly on its way to full blown hangover status, making him more irritable then ever. "Mind telling me how you're going to distract the Queen Bitch of the Universe?"

Marcus grinned in a way that left very little to the imagination. "I have my ways. You just try to stay out of sight."

"Where's Lisa?"

"Chase and I had her brought here. Cameron's keeping an eye on her for Stacy but…once you're in the clear I'll signal Chase to go get her. She'll come down, unlock the front doors and you two can make a clean getaway."

"Sounds simple enough. One question?"

"And what's that?"

"Wouldn't it have been easier to have just kept Stacy from getting us in the first place!?"

The younger man threw his head back in a condescending laugh. This time it was not House on the receiving end of the glare. Marcus brushed away an imaginary tear if laughter. "Ah, Mr. House, that would be lazy plotting!"

"You are a strange little man."

"I'm a Cuddy."

"Touché."

There was a small knock on the door signaling Stacy's return. "Get ready, House." The doctor gave him a nod to signal his understanding.

Right on time, Stacy breezed into the room, perhaps not with the same ethereal grace Cuddy had about her, but with a more predatory ease, a pair of handcuffs in….well, in hand.

"Be strong, House. You can live through Stacy."

The diagnostician chuckled. "Please, if I can live through this hangover, I can definitely survive Stacy."

"Really?" He looked shocked. "You'd compare her to a hangover? I would have thought it'd be more like the incessant, mind numbing, gut wrenching, and never ending pain in your leg…"

"Sure. That too."

Somewhere in the midst of this conversation, a suspicious look had evolved across the planes of Stacy's face. "What are you boys talking about?"

Marcus smirked, "Just the glory that is you, my pet."

"You call her pet!?"

"Shaddup."

Stacy smiled victoriously. It felt good to have someone else tell Greg that for once. "So, PET, what are the handcuffs for?"

She shrugged, "I'm trying them out. Everyone keeps escaping from rope so I figured handcuffs had to be a step up."

"The front doors are still locked right?" She nodded, still suspicious.

He stepped closer, still smiling, wrapping an arm around her dainty waist. "Then how bout we kick House out into the lobby and try them out?"

She looked shocked. Then horrified….then, rather intrigued. After all, why not? "Alrighty. " She may not like his personality overly much, but he was a pretty face. And House would be pining for Lisa for a long time anyway.

"House, lobby. Now!"

The doctor being addressed in so callous a manner rose with over exaggerated distress and did as told, sliding out of the danger zone and to apparent safety.

Marcus allowed himself a small smile. If the idiot managed to stay hidden and Chase came through for them, their plan might succeed.

Feeling a good deal more confident then before, he tapped the button on his phone to send Chase the signal.

It was time to bust Cuddy out, ninja style.

Until then, all he had to do was keep Stacy occupied….

Oh joy.

H/O/U/S/E

Cuddy's head was aching.

And so were her ribs. Two things that could be attributed to Cameron's oh-so-gracious ninja tackle. With a tiny moan, she managed to ease herself up into a sitting position.

From what she could gather, she was in House's office, in the chair nearest the door. No one else was in the room….it was all clear…

Not that she was going anywhere.

No, however much Cuddy may have liked to make an elaborate getaway and search for her much beloved, she wasn't going to be doing so anytime soon.

You see, dear readers, one of the side affects of being ninja tackled/beat down with such viciousness is blurred vision. So whilst dearest Lisa was attempting to sit up straight, the rest of the world was swaying and swimming with ominous intent. Damn the rest of the world!

And so she could only sit there.

Sigh.

"Nice to see you up again. For a second there I was afraid I might have killed you."

Cuddy managed to lift her groggy head enough to level a suitable glare at the newcomer.

It didn't phase dear Cameron, who drug a chair over to sit across from the still prone Dean of Medicine. Cuddy just continued glaring. If that little girl though she could ninja tackle her and then make pleasant conversation…she had another thing coming. Yes, she was in for the silent treatment of her life! Muaha!

"Cuddy?" No response. "Cuddy?" Still no response. "Come on, Cuddy, be a mature adult!" Said adult in question, stuck her tongue out at the younger doctor. "Listen. I'm sorry for tackling you."

"No one ever taught you how to lie did they?"

"Okay, fine. I may have found it a little enjoyable. And you tackled me first anyway!"

Cuddy scoffed irritably, "Why does the traitor speak to me?"

What happened next terrified her beyond all words. Cameron leaned forward and seized her hands in a girlishly affectionate manner, clutching them endearingly to her chest. And those eyes. Cuddy couldn't bear to meet those soulful, apologetic, helpless eyes. So full of trust. So full of hope. Almost like a puppies eyes….

Or a cows…

"Lisa, look at me, I have to say something important."

"I can't. Your helpless cow eyes will get me if I do…"

"Cuddy," the doctor in question heaved an overly dramatic sigh of exasperation before finally forcing herself to look at the younger woman. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tired to help Stacy, or have gotten involved in your and House's relationship. It was immature and selfish of me."

A part of her wanted to ask what had forced this sudden confession, but dearest Cuddy was to busy trying to fend off the sheer despair in Cameron's eyes. "Apology excepted if you just aim your dewy eyes elsewhere!"

Unfortunately, Cameron was in rant mode and wasn't able to avert her dewy eyes. "I didn't think he loved you, but….I know that he does now. And how could I stand in the way of true love…"

"Cameron, the eyes!"

"I've felt absolutely wretched! I want you two to be together. I want what's best for him. He's so happy with you. I just hope you can forgive me!" How the woman was able to say all that in a matter of seconds without taking a second breath was a thing that would ever puzzle Cuddy.

"You're forgiven, Cam! You're forgiven!" She tried to avert her eyes once more with no success. Alas! There was no escaping one of Allison Cameron's love-lorn stares!

She sniffled, "You mean that?" The Dean could only offer an awkward nod as confirmation. "So we can be friends?"

"If you stop looking at me like that you can have my first born child! Just look away, damn it!"

"Oh, goody!"

And before the good Dean could object, she was being swept up into one of Cameron's overly exuberant embraces. It wasn't entirely unpleasant. Until she needed to breath.

Then it wasn't quite so enjoyable.

Finally the young woman pulled away. "You know, Chase is going to be coming here to get you soon. He thinks I don't know but…he's a really awful liar…"

Cuddy finally felt a genuine smile creep across her face for the first time today. "Only to you, Cam. One of the unfortunate side effects of being in love I'm afraid."

The smile proved contagious and swiftly spread to the others face, "Unfortunately. But…would you mind if we pretended to….you know…"

"Still be bitter enemies? Absolutely. What did you have in mind?"

And, so, instead of seeing two newly formed friends when Chase arrived to rescue Cuddy, which is what ought to have been, it looked very much like she'd been ninja tackled. Again.

H/O/U/S/E

"Stacy! What are you doing!?"

"The same thing you were gonna do to me, traitor!"

And, alas, as swiftly as that, Marcus' plan was unraveling. After all, it's a scientifically proven fact that it's an extremely difficult feat to chase someone down when you're handcuffed to a remarkably heavy desk.

Stacy fled the office with admirable dexterity. And lo! There, hiding behind a piece of foliage, was House. Dear readers, if you feel the urge to smack him for his lack of foresight, I will not be the one to stop you. No, not at all.

He brandished the shrub as though it were some sort of deranged blade. "Back beast! Or you shall feel the prickly wrath of artificial…tree…branches…?"

"Imposing."

He glared. "Oh, you and your sarcasm…"

It was then Stacy launched herself through his flimsy barrier and latched onto his waist.

And it was then the elevator doors slid open and there, wreathed in divine, heavenly light, was his very own angel.

Lisa Cuddy stepped out of the machines confines, a confident smirk playing on her fair features.

"Get away from him, you bitch."

Sky: Whoo! Aliens reference!

House: (Proudly) As always, my Cuddles is gonna kick some serious lawyer butt.

Cuddy: You better belief it baby! I am the anti-lawyer, super ninja, zombie slayer!

Sky: And…even more important….NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST ONE! …Besides the epilogue…

Cuddy: So it's the second to last chapter…

Sky: No. It's the last chapter.

House: ….? Beside the epilogue?

Sky: Yes! CELEBRATION CHAMPAGNE FOR ALL MY BELOVED REVIEWERS! (Pours out Celebration Champagne with a grand flourish)

Cuddy: (rolls eyes) Don't bother with her logic. Review everyone! Sky will give you Celebration Champagne if you do evidently….