Me: Hello and welcome to the first chapter of my first story thingy!

Alucard: Just get on with the disclaimer…

Me: Fine! I do not own Hellsing and this was inspired by Jamew85 and her comic Evil Cookies (as the title is) in Deviantart

Enjoy!

Integra quickly placed the cookies in the box, letting out an evil laugh rival to Alucard's. "There, now to see if everything else is in order." She said, walking out the door, unsuspecting of the red eyes above her. Alucard dropped down. "Hmm, cookies?" Alucard said, opening the box slightly grabbing a cookie. "In the end the only human food I like…" He said munching on the cookie. "Walter, is everything ready to leave?" Integra's voice was heard, followed by a, "Yes, sir" from Walter. Alucard finished off the cookie and closed the box. Integra came in grabbing the box from the table. "Good, we leave as soon as this package is at its destination." "You're going on a holiday, Master?" Alucard asked eyeing the box, hoping for a chance to grab another cookie. "Of course." Integra simply replied. "May I go to Italy? Please!" Alucard begged. "Yes, you are free over the weekend." Integra answered. "Yahoo!" Alucard jumped in the air singing: "I will kill the Judas Priest!" Integra just sighed. "Whatever, I can't stop you anyway."

Some time later in Rome…

Anderson placed the box in front of Maxwell's desk. "This package just came in. it's from Hellsing." Anderson said. "Unusual…but who says they're not poisoned?" Maxwell said lifting the lid taking a sneak peek. "They aren't." Anderson said happily munching on a cookie. "You sure?" Maxwell asked. "Yes." Anderson said swallowing the chewed up cookie. "Alright, then they're all yours. Some vampires have been seen in the province, take care of it." Maxwell said leaning back in his chair. Anderson pulled out his bayonets and laughed like a mad man and ran off. "He always becomes so fond of sweets at the period of fasting. Hmm, maybe I should've just kept the cookies for myself." Maxwell said regretfully laying a hand on his rumbling stomach.

In the province…

The vampire panted as he ran down an alley, hearing the chants behind him. He gasped when he came across a dead end. "Amen!" The vampire turned around and faced the feared paladin holding his bayonets menacingly. Anderson was about to strike but suddenly the vampire's head blew off and his useless corpse fell. Alucard came out of the shadows, reloading his Cassul. "You kept me waiting, Judas Priest!" Alucard laughed. "Let's begin." Anderson said charging at him.

Integra laughed like maniac as Seras walked in. "Maxwell thinks I've sent him normal cookies but…" She let out a laugh again, "they were Chinese-medicine-cookies! And anyone who eats them feels the first person who touches them as very attractive and pleasant!" Seras widened her eyes. "Oh! But what if someone different than Maxwell eats them?" Seras wondered. "Don't be silly, it's the period of fasting so he must be hungry. He probably ate them and hugged a nun or something."

Anderson and Alucard stood in a very compromising position. Anderson's arms were wrapped around Alucard's waist while Alucard had his arms around Anderson's neck. "Why are we hugging each other?" Anderson asked looking around for anyone who might see them. "I don't know but don't stop…"

Did you like it? Was it horrible? Was it amazing?

Review and tell me but no flames about the so called "pairing"

This thing is only meant to be cute so if you don't like it keep your mean thoughts to your self! Also I will not update till I get at least 10 reviews!