Aha! This fic is not yet dead! It will survive yet!

Chaper Nine: Let's Vacation on Arrakis, It'll Be Fun

Five was annoyed.

It had been a very long day. They had landed on Coruscant, and all the companions had immediately disappeared to go 'shopping'. Then the Doctors had had to put down a rebellion led by an evil green muppet called, 'Yoda'. Then they'd all ended up in a bar.

He wasn't quite sure what had happened after that, except that he seemed to have ended up on a desert-like planet with only Tegan for company. Tegan was, thankfully, still unconscious. There was no sign of anything on the horizon, just endless sand. He was coming to the conclusion that the others must have dumped them here as part of some obscure prank.

Or maybe the TARDIS was playing matchmaker again. He remembered when it had abandoned him and Romana on a beautiful planet covered in pink flowers. He'd never quite gotten over the embarrassment.

But... Tegan?

He groaned and sat up. He had the mother of all hangovers. I really shouldn't have drunk so much ginger beer, he thought.

Tegan moaned. Her eyelids fluttered. Five covered his ears in anticipation of a stream of expletives. He was not disappointed.

"Wait," the Doctor said, frowning. "Did you just curse in Betraxian?"

Tegan glared at him, "You bloody idiot, of course not! I don't speak Be-whatsis!" she yelled in perfect Betraxian, with just a hint of a Pole dialect.

Fortunatlely, Five did not have much time to ponder this new development before he heard a loud, indescribable noise, and found himself in a large shadow.

He turned around, and looked up.

The spice worm looked back.

"Ah, hells," he said quietly. "We're on Arrakkis."

I may update soon, as I have more ideas. Or not. Whatever. Enjoy the weirdness.

Reviews welcome but not required.