Title: Candid Chatter With Peter and Claire
Fan dom: Heroes
Rating: T- Language and Suggestive Dialogue
Couples: Um...nothing specific.
Characters: Peter and Claire, with mention of others
Notes and Spoilers: Through "Chapter 23 "How to Stop an Exploding Man" My first attempt at parody, but am still going to try my best to keep the characters somewhat in character.
Disclaimers: I don't own the rights to Heroes. NBC does, and Tim Kring created it. Please forgive me. Remember this is a Parody, please don't take this too seriously.
Dedication: To Kim, thank you for being you. Thank you for the knowledge, that I'm not the only crazy one in this universe.
"Peter...I am glad you are alright, but seriously? Why?! Please tell me please. Why is it, that in this family, someone has to show someone how much of a pompous ass they are being before they actually do something about it?!" Claire shouted.
Peter was hurt, and he crossed his arms and pouted at his niece.
"I was right though, wasn't I?" Peter rationalized. "I told you. That Nathan would never let me down."
Claire rolled her eyes, "If you can call almost letting you blow up not letting you down!"
"But he didn't!" Peter shouted. "That is what I am saying. That's all that matters."
Claire nodded.
"Yeah...okay. If you say so!"
Peter placed his hands onto Claire's shoulders.
"Though, didn't you think what Nathan did was noble?"
Claire's featured softened.
"Yes, Peter," Claire sighed. Peter genuinely was the nicest person she has ever met. "It was. It made me realize that perhaps I misjudged Nathan. That maybe I take first impressions too much at face value. But talk about the 11th hour?! Nathan was so sure that you wouldn't die. But here I was, gun in my hand. And are you any help?! No! I mean you are crazy! You tell me stories about how you won't be caught dead wearing your underwear on the outside but you don't have one second thought to tell a sixteen year-old. 'Yo! I'm your uncle! Now kill me. I mean seriously?'"
Peter looked at Claire like she was a nut case. "You don't talk like that."
"I was being sarcastic Peter. Seriously. You are acting like someone else is putting these words into my mouth. I say whatever I want! Seriously."
Now it was Peter that rolled his eyes. "Ease up on 'seriously', okay?"
Claire rolled her eyes, and turned her back at Peter. "Fine!"
Claire took in a deep breath and then let it out.
What a crazy five weeks it been. Heck, no, what a crazy six months. She remembered back to when she had a fight with her father Noah, shouting at him that he was not "her real father" but then after meeting two sets of bio parents, one real and one not, she started to put things into perspective.
Oh crap! The Haitian! He lied. What the flying...wait.
"Oh gross!"
Claire waves her hands in the air trying to will the image out of her mind.
"What's wrong?" Peter asked.
Claire shook with disgust.
Peter not getting the response he required, decided to read Claire's mind.
"Claire! But now that you mentioned that...That would be a fun thing to try. But she would have to have some kind of power to stay put...so she wouldn't fall..."
"Stay out of my head! It's an invasion of privacy! And not like I wanted to think that--Geez! I am never go to use that expression again. Trust me."
"Trust me...I will definitely keep that in mind for the future, especially now that I know you have such a dirty mind."
"Hey! It wasn't me! Perhaps there is a person here that has the ability to make me think inappropriate things. I mean maybe that is the power that qualifies as being worse than the Sylar? You ever think of that?"
"And what do think it will me to do next? Pair us up?"
Peter gasped, and looked over his shoulder. "Maybe you are right..."
"New topic!" Claire bellowed, in a desperate attempt to stop the current conversation.
She amazingly was able to change tone from disgusted to concerned in less than 2.4 seconds.
"Do you think Nathan is alright?" she asked.
Peter's face paled.
"Well, Ms. Sanders said..."
"Who?"
"The blonde."
"The blonde from Vegas, you mean, my fake therapist?"
"Why do people keep me out of the loop?!" Peter complained.
"Well, that shouldn't be a problem now, right? Since your encounter with Officer Parkman."
"Oh yeah!" Peter beamed. "That will do very nicely when I run into Mom later."
Yeah. Let that witch have it. Can I help?
Peter flashed Claire that smile of his.
Damn DNA!
"Oh Claire. You are a sweet kid, but I..." Peter began.
"You were in love with Simone! We know! We all saw you drooling all over her in that dream sequence," a voice said.
"Who the hell is that?" Peter shouted.
"It's the Boogie-Man!" Molly shouted.
"I thought he died!" shouted Mohinder.
"It didn't take!" Sylar replied.
"Hey! That was my line!" Peter shouted.
"No that was my line!" Claire shouted.
And then, when you thought a story was starting to make sense, random silliness takes over... What is it but fate that makes minds wander from credibility? A vulnerable mind, an addict craving his or her fix. Who are we but pathetic souls looking for enlightenment? And why, oh why, is it so hard to find those two words that makes a story complete and make it make sense? The world may never know...
The End