A door slowly opened, sending a shrill, echoing noise throughout the shadowy halls of a dark castle. A dim light shone through the door as it opened completely, and a sinister, shadowy figure crept in. The room was almost entirely black, and glowing geometric patterns adorned the walls. Candles of black fire further darkened the already pitch-black interior of the room. A single pink book was placed upon a black pedestal. The dark figure slipped up to the book, grasping a pair of icy hands onto it. A flash of lightning cut through the darkness of the room, casting light upon the eerie entity's face.
"Ah ha ha ha ha. At last! Mimi shall be gone for a while, so I'll have the perfect opportunity to catch up on some of her personal thoughts! Ah, and it appears her journal has been updated recently. Magical!" the creature said.
Sure enough, this shadow was none other than Dimentio, the charming magician. He wore a colorful costume, consisting of a cape and cap. He wore a theatrical comedy mask, displaying a kind smile which offset his truly sinister nature. Half of this mask was black with a bright yellow eye, and the other half was lavender with an empty black eye. He wore a lavender shirt under his brightly colored cape, and had a pair of baggy black pants. His shoes pointed upward at the end in a comical fashion, and on his cold hands he wore a pair of black gloves.
"Silly Mimi, always making it so simple to pry on her prized possessions. I'll just take a quick read, for a few laughs, as she scribbles hilarious nonsense upon paper like a religious fundamentalist attempting to convert nonbelievers!" the demented jester remarked, opening the book and peering at one of Mimi's recent pages.
"6/1/07
Dear Diary,
Yesterday I went to Flipside and met the absolute CUTEST boy! Seriously! He was, like, SOOOOOOO gorgeous! But... he said he had a girlfriend, so I guess I don't have a chance with him. Of course, I COULD just rip his GF limb-from-limb. Then he'll be single and available! Yay!"
"Ah ha ha ha ha! Dearest Mimi, you ramble on about your crushes like a deranged schoolgirl who pays no attention to her grades, for she is to distracted by all of the 'hot guys' to apply herself! Ah ha ha ha! Now, let us look upon the next new entry."
"6/2/07
Dear Diary,
Like, OH MY GOSH! Nastasia took me shopping today and I bought the prettiest outfit EVER! I mean, I know I get a new outfit, like, every five minutes, but I like to keep my look updated so the cute guys don't ever look at anyone else never! Dimentio, that stupid clown, he's always criticizing me about stuff. He dresses kinda like a girl, so how can he diss ME about MY outfits? I'm, like, SOOOO much more stylish than him anyway, so he's just jealous that he can't get any hot guys to go out with him like I do!"
"What? I'll get you for this, Mimi. Honestly! That wretched girl thinks I'm...? Huh, let's just see what else the little brat has to write about moi."
"6/3/07
Dear Diary,
I'm so stupid. I forgot to write about my birthday. It'll have been a month ago in two days. Count Bleck got me this nice little sweater. But I really like the toy Dimentio made for me. It's an adorable little jack-in-the-box. He even put a little voice box inside, so when the clown pops out it says 'Ciao!' That was so sweet of him. To bad it blew up when I first used it. That Dimentio..."
"So sorry, Mimikins. I just couldn't resist that prank. I am a sinister jester after all. Ah ha ha ha ha..."
Dimentio was really enjoying the reading of Mimi's private thoughts, perhaps a little too much. He was rolling in the floor, snickering wildly as he turned to her next entry with clownish glee.
"6/4/07
Dear Diary,
That last entry reminded me about what we did for Dimentio's birthday. We took him to a magic show. The guy doing the tricks was SO hot! I think Dimentio thought so too... TEE HEE! But he just can't stand when people do better magic tricks than him, so when the magician asked for an assistant, Dimentio just floated up and ruined everything, yelling something about how he was a better magician and the other guy was just an amateur. So he showed the crowd all of his own tricks, and when no one cheered him on, he chased everyone out with energy blasts! Dimentio knows he thinks that guy was hot."
Dimentio frowned upon this entry, his hands glowing with magical energy. He prepared to destroy Mimi's treasured diary, but then decided to take a few more reads. Why waste the book and never have the chance to look upon the hilarity again? He flipped a page and shoved his face back into the book, still smiling his perpetual masked smile.
"6/5/07
Dear Diary,
Today I found out Dimentio's been reading my diary, so... I went to his room and found his journal. In it, he wrote that he absolutely LOVES being with Nastasia. He said she was 'smoking hot', and the only reason he hasn't asked her out is because he wants to save it and make it special for after he destroys Count Bleck. Destroy the count? Golly, how could anyone ever want to hurt him? I mean, he has such a bright smile and he's UBER cute. The only reason Dimentio hides behind that mask is because he knows how ugly he is, and he's just jealous that the count is cuter than him."
"Mimi, you're cruising for a bruising, like a minuscule child refusing to surrender his lunch money to the surly school bully," Dimentio said, flipping the page.
"7/14/07
Dear Diary,
I haven't written in a while. Golly, I feel so silly for not noticing it before, but Dimentio is becoming kinda cute himself. I think he's getting a growth spurt, so he's gotten a few inches taller. And HOTTER! Sometimes I just want to take off his mask, rip his shirt off, and..."
"Ew. Let's... just flip to the next one, as that was more disturbing and sickening than O'Chunks' cooking." Dimentio said, quickly turning to the next page.
"7/15/07
Dear Diary,
I think Dimentio might be hitting puberty, because his voice is getting squeaky and he's got cute developing muscles! Tee hee! I'm not telling him I think that, though. He'd just laugh at me. Plus, I'm not even sure how old Dimentio is. I think he's a kid, but he's too smart. Maybe he's just short for his age? Hey, that can be my new nickname for him. Shorty!"
"I... didn't suspect that freakish insect would keep such a close eye on my... physical characteristics," Dimentio said, gulping down and turning the page.
"7/16/07
Dear Diary,
I don't want ANYONE to know I think this, but O'Chunks is kind of hot too. If he didn't have that ugly goatee, he'd be just as hot as the guys in the magazines! He's SOOOO strong and muscular. What if... it was the count's head on his body? YAY!"
"Ah ha ha. Now the hilarity starts again! Ah ha ha ha ha!" Dimentio cackled.
"7/17/07
Dear Diary,
Nastasia and me went to the store and bought new clothes and got some snacks. We stayed up late last night, painting our nails and talking about who was the cutest between Count Bleck, O'Chunks and Dimentio. She said the count was the best because she loved how handsome he looked when he smiled with those sharp teeth of his. She also liked his glowing eyes. I think the count is hot too, but Dimentio and O'Chunks are the dynamically hot duo! Together, they're, like, the picture of HOTNESS! After we ate snacks, I weighed myself. Oh my gosh! I'm getting really fat! I found out that I'm 43 pounds when wet, and 35 founds when dry. All of the other girls will tease me about how fat I am! I'll never make the cheerleading squad! I need to lose weight. I'll need to keep doing what I've been doing, making myself throw up after a meal. Apparently, I haven't been doing it enough, because I haven't reached my goal of 22 pounds."
"Wow. Just... wow. Mimi has got to stop doing things like that before she hurts herself. But then again, it is simply too funny! Ah ha ha ha!" Dimentio laughed. "Ah, perhaps I'll even have enough time to read Nastasia's diary. I wonder if it says anything about me...? Let me read the next few entries," he said.
"7/25/07
Dear Diary,
I had the best dream last night! Me and this hot guy were running along a beach in slow motion! Then we kissed. It tasted so good. Haha! Guess who that guy was? COUNT BLECK! I hope that dream comes true one day. I just want to tackle him and smother him with kisses!"
"Ah ha ha. When I kill Count Bleck, I'll make sure to reveal some of Mimi's secrets to him. It'll be a nice little treat before his game is over. Ah ha ha."
"7/26/07
Dear Diary,
Last year I bought a scale model of Flint Cragley. I've never told anyone this before, but I make out with it every night. It's just like the real thing. Sometimes I actually sleep with it. Sometimes I wish Flint would whisk me away to a nice little motel. Tee hee!"
"Ah ha ha ha ha! This is too funny! In fact, I'll just take this to my room to continue reading it. Ah ha ha ha!" Dimentio said, picking the book up and turning to the door.
The evil clown was caught by surprise as he was met by a young girl in a stylish outfit. She had a green, cubed head with pixilated hair of the same color. She had stick-like limbs and wore a furious expression on her face.
"Uh, hello, Mimi! I was... um... just in here to... pick up your laundry! Yes, that's it. I know how you appal doing laundry, so I decided to pop by and do it for you. Yes, that's exactly what I was doing!" Dimentio stammered.
"Really? Then... why are you holding my diary!?"
"Oh, this? Um... well..." he trailed off.
"Dimentio, you know how much I hate it when demented court jesters read my diary!" Mimi said, cracking her neck.
"Uh, please, Mimi, calm yourself! No need to resort to your hideous true form, as it is disgusting and horrific like the noxious stench of O'Chunks' dirty underwear!" Dimentio said, taking a few steps back to avoid her fury.
"Dimentio, you stupid circus freak! I'll send you back to the dirty tent you came from!" she screamed, sprouting six spider-like legs.
"Uh, gotta go. Ciao for now!" Dimentio said, attempting to run out of the door.
Mimi stopped him in his tracks and drove him into a dark corner in the already dark room. A series of red crystal projectiles were fired from her crinkled head, striking with pinpoint accuracy.
Count Bleck and Nastasia approached the entrance to Castle Bleck. The sky was a dark void that flashed with purple lightning. As Count Bleck put his gloved hand to the large door, he was taken aback when a shrill scream of pain was heard from the interior of the gigantic palace.
"Ah, Dimentio must have been caught Mimi's diary again. How predictable, remarked Count Bleck. Bleh heh heh heh! Bleck!" the count cackled.
"Yeah, um, that makes the fifth time he's been caught red-handed, 'K? Yeah, Mimi should really get a lock put on that book," Nastasia said.
THE END