Chapter 1

I stirred around my spoon in my cream of mushroom soup while balancing the phone on my shoulder. I stared at it as Gak went on about how many people she reckoned she had cussed out in Irken. Tomorrow she was going to hit the library.

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of the soup. Cream of mushroom wasn't my favorite...But recently I had gone shopping with Zim and just thrown whatever into the cart. Plus, he'd been oddly paranoid for some reason in there. Maybe it was a new place, or maybe it was just the little poor six-year old with her mom as she turned a corner on an aisle. Zim had started shrieking loudly at her.

We'd rushed out of there pretty fast, so of course I'd grabbed everything I could.

"So anyways," Gak said as I tuned back in, "I was thinking...you know, randomly."

"Mhmm?" I asked, preparing myself. If you're wondering how this is possible (this being me talking to Gak over a phone in Zim's world) somehow I, (unfortunately) had remembered Gak's number and tried to call her. It had worked, basically.

Anyways, back to the present.

"What were you thinking, Gak?"

"Well...Have you thought of any nicknames for Zim? Since you're, like, together now."

I choked on the soup for a bit.

"I never said—"

"I know you didn't, Avi. But let's just say I'm assuming that right now. M'kay? Now, can you answer the question?" Gak had a tone to her voice like she was talking to somebody who was about to explode with anger or something. I narrowed my eyes, pondering whether I should answer her, and where that would take me.

"No," I answered.

"Awww," Gak immediately said afterwards.

I put the spoon in my mouth, sucking on it. I shoved it to one side with my tongue to talk. "I'm not going to make nicknames for Zim, okay?"

"But come on..." She was breaking me down.

I rolled my eyes, even though I knew she couldn't see me. Zim was doing something in his base, but I quickly turned around to make sure he wasn't behind me. "You give me one, I'll give you one," I finally said.

"Zimmykins!"

It sounded like she had really thought of this, and that made me scared inside.

I grinned. "That was an easy one! Okay...my green muffin!" I was so ashamed hearing that out loud. Hehehe...Eh.

Gak giggled on the other end, and I heard people in the background.

"Please tell me I'm not on speaker phone."

"You're not."

"Your turn."

"Oh, I don't know. I had a bunch of them and I wrote them down somewhere..." I wasn't surprised.

"Fine, we'll skip you for now." I stared down at my bowl. "Cream of Zim!" I blurted out, and we both sank into hysterical laughter.

"Oh god, that's a—HAHAHAH!!—wow, that's a good one." Gak started laughing again and I laughed along with her.

And then she had to ruin it.

"I dare you to say it louder."

I looked behind me again. I turned the spoon over in my mouth.

I started laughing nervously. Silence on the other end.

"Cream of Zim!" I shouted, feeling quite pleased by my bravery.

"What did you call me?"

Gak must have heard him too because she stopped laughing.

I turned around so fast I got dizzy, and the spoon dropped out of my mouth and clattered on the floor. There, standing behind me, was Zim. He was leaning on the wall, his antennae half-perked. I gaped at him.

"Mhmm...I thought so, love-pig."

Zim walked away with an air of confidence.

A couple seconds went by until Gak started squealing on the other end.

I blushed.