A/N: Oh no, the main male characters have no idea what they're in for! Will they be overcome by the horrible Sue stories or will they survive bad writing and OOCs? Only time will tell...

It all started with three fateful words…

"What is this?" Remus Lupin asked in disgust, his nose wrinkled at the lurid book. It was bright pink, trimmed with lace, and covered in sparkly stickers. Sirius glanced over at it.

"No idea. Whatever it is, get rid of it." But Lupin, intrigued now, flipped open the cover and glanced at the table of contents.

"Hey! Look at this!"

Harry wandered over to take a look.

"Blimey, we're all here! 'Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Fred and George Weasley, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape…' What is this thing?"

"Dunno," Lupin muttered, checking the spine of the book. "It says, 'Mary Sue Stories.' What's a Mary Sue?"

"Only one way to find out," Ron replied, joining the small cluster and staring in horrified fascination at the pink book. "We each read ours. Harry, looks like you're up first." And indeed he was. The table of contents read:

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

Fred and George Weasley

Oliver Wood

Neville Longbottom

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Draco Malfoy

Lucius Malfoy

Severus Snape

The last three were the only ones not present. The kitchen of number twelve, Grimmauld Place fell silent as Harry gingerly accepted the book, flipped to the first story, and began to read.