Q: Why does Sharpay have TGIF written on her shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: What do SMART blondes and monsters have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: Why does Sharpay always smile during lightning storms?
A: She thinks that her picture is being taken.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around.

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Sharpay, a blonde cop, stops a blonde riding a motorcycle and asks for her driving license.

The motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to Sharpay "I must have left it at home officer."

Sharpay says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to Sharpay, "All I have is this picture of myself."

Sharpay says "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to Sharpay who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

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Sharpay Evans was walking her dogs when Troy, walking in the opposite direction says "Sharpay, your dogs look so amazing. What are their names?"

Sharpay replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."

Troy responds "Wow. That's unusual. Why did you name them Timex and Rolex?"

She sighs and shakes her head "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing! What else can you name your watch dogs?"

----

Sharpay stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, Ma'am?" said the librarian looking up at her.

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

Puzzled by what she had heard the librarian asked "What was wrong with it?"

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" said the
aggravated blonde.

The librarian nodded and said, "Ah. So you must be the person who took our
phone book."

----

Jack Bolton was in his front yard mowing grass when one of his students, Sharpay Evens, came out of the next-door house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As Jack was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by his student's actions he asked her, "Is something wrong?"

Then she replied to his surprise by saying, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying 'You've got mail'!"

----

A plane is on its way to Detroit when Sharpay in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs her that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

Sharpay replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit, and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing her to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit, and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."

----

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little piece of shit on your knee."

----

This fat guy sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They strip him and lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps Sharpay, a gorgeous blonde, stark naked, with a sign saying

"If you catch me, I'm yours."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who led him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.

He's back on the street and starts to think.

"Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."

So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."

"No problem," says the manager.

Again he strips, and is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a gorilla with a sign

"If I catch you, you're mine."

----

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

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Q: What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
A: Spot

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Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Rachel :)