Pink December

Summary – (Post-game - Squall x Rinoa) …Waiting is always the hardest part. One-shot.

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'I'll be waiting for you. If you come here, you'll find me. I promise.'

Waiting. That's a word I'll never get used to no matter how many times I hear it. I always find myself shuddering whenever that particular word rolls off of people's tongues. Waiting pains me, tortures me and painfully reminds me that you're not here, you're elsewhere, righting the wrongs for the highest bidder. Okay, maybe that came off a little more bitter than I intended but…I can't help myself. I miss you Squall, more than you'll ever know. I miss the way you make me feel loved, I miss your protective gaze, I miss the way you kiss me, but most importantly, I miss you, my knight.

At least the waiting will be over tonight…until the next time anyway.

Still, I promise to cherish every waking moment we'll have together, from the moment we'll wake up and stub our toes on the dresser, forgetting that we'd moved it to the right, to the second I'll have to pry you away from your paperwork, insisting for you to put it aside until the morning. Well, I doubt that our days will begin and end like that anymore, but the idea's still there. Then again, who's to say we won't just pick up where we left off several months ago?

Hyne, was it only that long since you last stepped inside our tiny humble abode? I could have sworn that it was a couple of years since you first told me about that mission of yours. I guess this proves that time has a funny way of slowing things down to a painful crawl when you're anxiously waiting for a loved one to return.

Ugh, there's that word again, coming back to haunt me. Waiting. I swear that the next time I hear someone complain about waiting for something, I'll politely point out that compared to waiting for your SeeD boyfriend to return from a three-week mission only to find out that his mission keeps on getting extended for an extra two weeks over and over again until you get the impression that they should cut the bureaucratic lies and switch the word 'weeks' with 'months', or possibly 'years', your momentary pain is nothing.

…On second thought, maybe I'll leave that hypothetical person alone. I don't think I'd be in the mood for a pity party, not to mention that sounded a little too rant-like for my liking. Either way, the last thing I want or need to hear is something like, 'Oh you poor thing…' or, 'I can't possibly imagine what you must have gone through…'. My stomach is already in knots as it is just thinking about it, and that doesn't even include half of the things I had to deal with during all these months – I think I'd be hunched over the toilet, thoroughly emptying the contents of my stomach if that was the case.

Even then, that doesn't even come close to how sick with worry I was during those first few weeks of your absence. My body was just about the only thing that hadn't been fooled by my conscious attempts at feigning obliviousness. For awhile there, I had actually convinced myself that food-poisoning, the flu and the vomit fairy had all decided to gang up on me at the same time.

A short trip to the Garden's infirmary ruled that out when Dr. Kadowaki told me different, saying that the main reason for this was because my body was under a lot of stress. I told her that there was no reason for me to be stressed, that mission extensions weren't an uncommon thing. She told me to stop beating around the bush or else she'd give me a valid reason to be stressed.

True to her word, she did give me a valid reason to be stressed when I attempted to dance around the subject again, asking if my sorceress powers could have been responsible for some of the symptoms. Right then, the vomit fairy decided to pay me another visit and I threw up into a trash can I grabbed at the last second. In true friend-like, not doctor-like fashion, Dr. Kadowaki asked if I was going to be okay. Looking back, I don't remember if I ever gave her an answer, all I seem to recall was wondering when you'd come home and make my problems go away.

But of course, the universe never gives things away that easily – we have to earn what we want. And even though this'll sound kind of selfish, I can't think of any better example than myself in these past months. Maybe you did too Squall, but until I hear the actual words come out in that deep voice of yours, I'll stick to what I know.

I still can't believe that I managed to survive the better part of the year without seeing you, or without hearing your comforting voice. Hyne, you don't know what I would have given to see or hear you once during this whole thing…

A load-bearing sigh escaped my throat and now I'm on the verge of turning into a snivelling wreck. …Pull it together Rinoa, pull it together. Only a few more minutes until he'll come through that door and you'll be able to tell him everything and maybe be able to ask for a hug.

But will you want to hug me after?

Maybe I don't want to know that answer. …Or maybe I do since it'll mean you're here.

Hyne, this is complicated. I know what I'd ideally like to happen but I'm not sure what to do or say for that to occur. If you came back sooner, this reunion would have been easier but I know that this difficulty wasn't your fault. It was out of your control and these kinds of flare-ups are supposed to go hand in hand with being a SeeD. You may be apart of the best, but you're still human. And trust me – I'm the first person who can attest to that.

SeeD, the subject of my infliction. Would this situation have been more tolerable if I would have taken all the required things to be able to join you for the mission? Probably not, considering that the operation required talents that I know I didn't have from the brief description you gave me. Funny how such a brief description could change your life in ways you never knew.

Regardless, I don't think that passing that exam would have mattered anyway; I was feeling too run down to even chance sneaking on board that day – and that's saying something. I'm always up for that kind of thing. Earning my keep always helped me feel better about living as the only non-SeeD in the Garden. I guess that would explain why I jumped at the chance for that administrative job Cid offered to me well-into the third month of your absence.

…Okay, I'll admit that that was the second reason out of three, the first being that it got my mind off of you for eight hours a day and restored part of my sanity, if only a little. Hyne, I'd never thought I'd see the day when I'd actually enjoy escaping all of life's problems by doing paperwork. Maybe that's why you were so keen on doing so much of it all at one time; I'll have to ask you about that once everything's settled again.

Geez, imagine if somebody could hear my thoughts about paperwork being some kind of a godsend. You'd swear I went loopy without you Squall. Then again, maybe I did…or maybe I was before all this waiting had taken its toll on me.

…Here we go with that word again. Waiting.

Before I wouldn't have believed anybody if they would have told me that waiting was one of the worst things someone could experience at any given time. I used to live for waiting, for that very moment where your anticipation builds and builds until the butterflies in your stomach tingle all the way down to your knees, making them weak in expectation while you're hoping for that moment you want to happen to happen.

And now it's ironic that it's the very sensation that's killing me inside – that same feeling of anticipation for what may come, no, what will come. Waiting will always be the hardest part now. It won't ever change back.

Hyne, I want the waiting to be done and over soon, just like Selphie and Quistis had assured me it would the last time we managed to go out together at the beginning of December, right after we'd all received that call about you coming back later in the following week, but before I secluded myself for what would be my last peaceful days in the dormitory, figuratively cleaning up a storm, getting everything ready for the big arrival.

And so this is where I am now, sitting quietly in our favourite chair, occasionally sipping some lukewarm tea, constantly eying both doors in front of me, the entrance door, for the obvious reasons, and the bedroom's, for reasons that'll become clear once I explain them to you once you're here and I don't have to eye that entrance door anymore.

Suddenly, I darted my head up after hearing the all-too familiar click of the front door, knowing that it's you fumbling for the handle. With as much courage as I could muster, I set down my tea and approached the door, waiting for the moment where your chestnut-brown hair and beautiful blue-grey eyes would come into view, along with the rest of your being that I love so very much.

I stopped, realizing that I had used that accused word in my thoughts, but then I continued to inch forward just as fast, calling a momentary truce with it so that this eternal struggle won't ruin the preciousness of the moment. After the truce, I stopped again, but for different reasons. The sight of your tired body once the door had swung open had effectively broken the eight-month hell I had learned to face day in and day out. I stood there speechless, but you were more than willing to pick up the slack.

"…Sorry I'm late."

There were no words to describe how happy and scared I was at that moment, all my mind seemed to focus on was how pink the sky was four days ago, during the only highlight December had offered me up until this instant.

I closed the gap and hugged you so tightly that I was willing to guess that when you started to wrap your arms around me, dropping your suitcase must have been nothing more than an afterthought to you. Hyne, you've no idea of how I've longed for this to happen.

"…I've missed you so much Squall." I whispered into your ear. "I've got so many things to tell you."

Eventually, the hug ended after a few silent, comforting moments. Right after, you slowly picked up your suitcase.

"If it's possible, could you tell me tomorrow? My body is aching for sleep."

I shifted a little. "Most of it can wait, but there's just this one thing that really…can't."

You rubbed your eyes tiredly. "Okay, but I don't think I can stay awake for long."

"…Sure."

A minute later, after I'd went in and out of the bedroom, once your sleep-deprived eyes lingered on what I was holding in my arms a little longer than necessary, your jaw went agape and your body tensed once you realized what all of this meant. Your shock didn't surprise me though, because deep down inside, I always knew that you'd react this way, even after the very moment Dr. Kadowaki had forced me to stop denying what was actually going on.

"…Is she?"

I nodded.

"Yes Squall, she is."

I moved a little part of pink blanket that covered her tiny face and carefully handed over the bundle to you, making sure that she was positioned safely in your arms. But as you stood there mesmerized by every little breath coming from underneath the huddle of blankets, there was no doubt that she'd always be safe in your arms.

"Squall…" My voice faltered a little. "…I'd like you to officially meet our daughter."

You turned your head just enough to look at me. I could see the tears welling up in the corners of your eyes.

"W-when was she born?"

"Four days ago, on the 7th."

"…Does she have a name?"

"No."

"-Why not?"

"Because…because I wanted you to name her."

You looked back at our daughter and continued to watch her dreaming in your arms. Silent with thought and methodical contemplation, your eyes finally started to let go of the unshed tears they once held.

"…Would it be okay if we named her Raine, after my mother?" You asked with hesitation. "…She looks so much like her."

"I have no problems with naming her Raine as long you'll admit that she looks a lot like you too Squall."

Never taking your eyes off our newborn baby, you nodded.

"…Welcome to the world, baby Raine."

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Ending Comments – I hoped you liked this experimental one-shot of mine, the idea just popped into my head yesterday. Either way, I'd really appreciate some feedback. It would be ever so nice if you did.

Happy reading,

-Emerald-Latias