A/N: Hey um... this is my first fan fiction -Sigh- The title is ever changing. At first I wanted to call it Unrequited, then Creep, then Love Triangle which kind of evolved into Sharp Angles. How obscure. I did not intend on writing anything(I didn't think I could actually, to me it's much easier for me to write original fics cause you get to follow your own rules for you own OCs), I was content on reading the wonderful stories by the excellent author(ess)s that were on this site, still am. Don't know what happened though, I was listening to this song, this is a song fic btw(which I usually hate), and the story just formed in my mind. So I wrote it down and here it is. No flames please -cowers in a corner- I am too sensitive.
The song for this fic is Creep by Radiohead. If you never heard it before, you should take a listen, it's awesome and it can apply to anyone in almost any situation. I has applied to me when I was younger... but I won't go there.
Thank you for those who read this and please be kind and leave a review...
-nervously wasting time- Hey look! A bear! -runs and hides-
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto -sniff sniff- so sad, and I don't own the song Creep. Damn it all to hell! Why can't I ever get what I want?!
warnings: possible OOCness, run-on sentences, possible confusingness, and sentence fragments. Sentence fragments galore!
lyrics (and sometimes emphasis)
thoughts
"speaking"
When you were here before,
His fist hesitated an inch before landing. He contemplated turning around and retreating instead of letting it settle on it's intended target. He drew it back and instead brought it to the back of his neck to scratch. It was a nervous habit he had since childhood.
He let out a frustrated sigh at his own hesitance. He had done this countless times before, why should this time be so different? Because it is, he reminded himself. The various reasons that brought him here instead of his home began to swirl around in his head but he couldn't focus on any. He was too nervous to think. This was his first stop after returning from his latest mission and luckily he had the foresight to remove his ANBU mask and vest. He took a few reassuring breaths and encouraged himself. He remembered that he had to do it. He had to know the truth. He just had to know…
Regaining his confidence he brought his once hesitant hand crashing down onto the wooden barrier that stood before him. He waited a few moments before raising his fist again.
She opened the door to reveal her tall, blond, former teammate preparing to punch her in the head. He stilled when he recognized her and his face immediately broke into a large bright smile.
Maybe too bright?
Something about him seemed… different…
Something seemed off…
She allowed a small smile to grace her face in greeting.
"Oh, hi Naruto, did you just get back?" her green eyes began searching the area around him. "Is Sasuke-kun with you?"
He looked confused for a moment before answering, "Uh… No, Sakura, it was just me and my team-"
"No that's not what I meant, it's just that you always–nevermind. What can I do for you?" She quickly gave his body a once over, "You didn't get hurt again did you? Damn it, Naruto! You have to be more careful! You can't just-"
He placed his hands on the pink haired woman's shoulders and squeezed, "No Sakura-chan, I'm fine."
"Oh…" she trailed off while her words ended, her eyes continued the conversation.
Then what are you doing here Naruto?
Couldn't look you in the eye
Quickly understanding her unasked question, the tan teen began to fidget slightly under her appraising gaze. His eyes wildly searched for something to focus on, finally settling on something beyond her right ear.
His smile faltered a bit before he spoke, "Sakura-chan" he began cheerfully.
He was always so cheerful, right?
"Yes, Naruto?" She replied, mustering up all of her civility, she had a feeling tonight would be trying. It was something instinctual she felt deep in her belly.
He regarded her for a moment forgetting his well rehearsed speech.
You're just like an
angel,
Your skin makes me cry
The light from her home illuminated her from behind, darkening her features. Yet he was still able to notice her pale milky skin, even without the best of lighting. A passing thought wished it was slightly paler. The shadows surrounded her like a halo. She looked like a dark angel. Her pink hair was so much darker from this angle. It was so dark it almost looked…
Her eyes too. Cast in the shadows of her face, they took on a much darker hue. It was like he was staring into a never ending abyss. They were so very dark. They were almost the color of…
Almost like…
Her short hair was brought up into a high spiky ponytail that sat atop the crown of her head, while long chunks fell to either side of her face. From the way the light was hitting her from behind, he could only see the outline of her hair. It reminded him of some one…
Maybe Anko…(1)
Or some one…
All he knew was that she was more beautiful than she had ever been standing in that light.
You float like a
feather
In a beautiful world
He was brought back to reality by the sound of her clearing her throat. "Ne, Sakura-chan, you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?" he finally spoke. There, he finally got it out. This was his whole reason for visiting her so late in the evening. He couldn't sleep soundly anymore because of this. His thoughts would no longer let him escape, no longer let him run from his intense feelings. His mind demanded answers, it demanded immediate clarifications.
He watched her face and body tense if only for a few moments. Her features softened into a saddened expression. He realized that this routine of theirs was becoming old and taxing, but that was why he was here.
To end it.
Or to begin…
He didn't know which, all he knew was he needed answers to those damn questions. Those questions that hounded him relentlessly. Resounding and inexorable. He couldn't swallow them away this time. He couldn't run anymore.
Where did they come from anyway?
He was again brought out of his inner turmoil by her noise. This time it was a soft yet exhausted sigh. He already knew the answer before she spoke it.
She looked into the clear blue awaiting her answer. The emotion portrayed was so intense, so resolute. Desperation. Pleading. This time her answer meant everything. She let out a sigh. She knew this was going to be difficult, she knew this time her answer would break him. But she also knew that she needed to follow her heart even if it meant hurting someone else.
"No, Naruto. No." she answered in a tone that she hoped would convey how deeply she meant her refusal.
Please, please don't ask me again. Understand that I am in love with someone else.
"Ne…" he began, gulping down one of his more confusing emotions.
What was that? Anticipation? Fear? An extremely dependent hope?
"Do you think you could ever love me?"
Right then her stomach dropped. She felt as if she was going to throw up. She quelled all feelings of nausea and realized that this was the moment she had been waiting for. Maybe she did want him to ask her this question. This could be her chance, her opportunity to make things clear for him.
Maybe after this we can be true friends… after his heart mends…
She sighed and walked out into the humid night air, closing the door softly behind her, cutting off her ethereal light. She gestured for them to start walking down the path that led away from her home. They were silent for a while before she turned her head to face the nervous blond and spoke, "Narut-" the next thing she knew, she was falling toward the wet ground straight into a puddle. She closed her eyes and waited for the impact that never came. A strong hand grabbed her forearm and pulled her flush against a hard chest.
"Be careful Sakura-chan…" a deep husky voice whispered in her ear.
She quickly pulled away, looking down, and mumbled a thank you, trying hard to hide her blush. She sighed and began again, this time making sure she stopped before she spoke to the young man beside her.
"Naruto… you and I… we would never work. I could never fall in love with you. I'm sorry but I am in love with some one else…" At this Naruto's gaze wandered out as well as his train of thought, only listening to little bits and pieces of what the woman beside him was saying.
I wish I was special
"…has had my heart since I could remember…"
You're so fuckin' special
"Sasuke-kun is the only one I can imagine giving my heart and soul to…"
But I'm a creep,
"He has everything I am looking for in a man, smart, good looking and talented…"
I'm a weirdo
"… is everything to me…"
What the hell am I doin' here?
He finally turned to the girl rejecting him as gently as she could and stared straight into her emerald eyes. She abruptly stopped her explanation when she saw the look in his eyes. She furrowed her brows, trying to discern the emotions from his usually readable clear blue pools. Something was…
"It's ok Sakura-chan." He started, closing his eyes before she could place the odd emotions running across his features. "I just wanted to know."
I don't belong here
With that he rotated on his heel and started to walk off, turning his back to her. She called for him to stop but he waved his hand in air and wished her a goodnight. She stared at his retreating back until it was out of view. She then thought back to the expressions that were present in his eyes. They were rather odd, she was sure she had not read them correctly.
Fear? Confusion? Relief?
She decided not to dwell on what the young shinobi was thinking, if he said everything would be fine then it would be fine…
Right?
Besides, his act of boldness inspired her to an action of her own. And with that thought in mind she set off to find her other former teammate.
I don't care if it hurts,
Always about him… She had to love him. Every one had to love him.
And with that thought he landed a particularly hard right hook and shards of wood flew from below his bloodied knuckles. How could he work so hard to be accepted and it was so easy for someone who never cared? Naruto landed a hard left on the abused wooden post at the old training ground, effectively shattering that one to splinters too. With no more posts to take his anger out on, he started a rasengan in each hand and aimed them toward two trees that stood side by side in front of him.
I wanna have control
What the hell was going on with him? He couldn't understand the emotions that welled up inside of him. He was so angry and confused and …jealous. He felt his anger rising as he aimed for two more trees. He never felt jealous about Sakura's love for Sasuke before, so why did he now? That's just it, that's not what he was jealous about. His chakra was bubbling and his body was burning. He felt the fox taking over as he dropped to his knees and found himself staring at his reflection in a puddle. He looked at the demon hybrid before him and willed his control. His eyes slowly returned to blue has he stared at himself.
I want a perfect body
Why would any one love him? Who could? He was a demon.
I want a perfect soul
In him was a creature that stole some one from everyone. Some one they loved. Now he was the one who had to pay. Not allowed to have love. He was condemned to just watch everyone around him find happiness. But they deserved it. But so did he, didn't he? Sakura was still in love with Sasuke. Everyone was in love with Sasuke. Even after Naruto brought him back, they still favored Sasuke. How was he so easily adored? And why couldn't he hate him for that? Why? Why was he like everyone else?
They loved him.
Loved everything about him…
Loved his cold cocky bastard attitude…
Loved the way his dark deceptively cold eyes lit up just in the slightest when presented with a challenge…
Loved the small yet disarming smile that graced his face when he thought no one else was looking…
Loved him…
Love…
"Sasuke…" he muttered breathlessly.
As he continued to stare at himself in the puddle he still failed to notice the presence that had been following him since he arrived at Sakura's.
She realized that she had been rather hard on the blond but she knew he would understand when he saw how happy she and Sasuke would be. She knew that he would realize that no one could stand in the way of true love. Naruto was a kind and understanding friend who cared about everyone's happiness. Especially hers.
But she would not feel guilty. Now was not the time.
She had been looking for him for what seemed like an eternity. He wasn't at the training grounds and he wasn't at the abandoned complex. She was about to give up her search when she saw him just standing near a clearing looking off in the distance. She released the breath she did not realize she was holding and took a second to appreciate his beauty. She watched as his ebony locks danced in the wind and how his pale skin almost glowed in the moonlight. She wondered how one could exude grace and poise from standing still, but soon realized that only he could. She walked up to the man she knew the gods carved from the very finest marble just for her.
He watched his golden Adonis decimate yet another training post and began forming rasengans. He figured something was really bothering the ANBU captain because he was never this unaware. Granted, Sasuke was masking his chakra, but he knew the idiot would have noticed him by now.
Tch, dobe. You're so stupid. What kind of ninja doesn't notice he was being followed all night?
He started following him once he found out that Naruto returned to the village but failed to inform Sasuke of his return.
He always comes to me first.
In his search to seek him out and give him a piece of his mind, he saw Naruto head toward Sakura's house, so he masked his chakra and continued in pursuit.
When will he get over her?, he asked as he watched the Kyuubi vessel fall on to his hands and knees and stare into a puddle on the ground. His blue eyes were far away with distraction and his bright sunshine hair was dull and matted from the mud of the soggy training ground.
She must have hurt him pretty badly this time. Why can't you look at someone else, dobe? Why can't you look at…
"-ke-kun? Sasuke-kun?"
She lightly tapped his shoulder prompting him to turn. He broke his intense watchful gaze to pin the woman beside him with a cold impassive one. When his eyes landed on her blatantly adoring face, he felt something flare up inside of him but he quickly squashed it and schooled his impassive mask. Apparently he did not reign in his emotion fast enough because she took a hesitant step back when he looked at her.
She cocked her head to the side as she was trying to read the emotion she saw flash in his eyes. She quickly shook the thought away. There was no way she saw what she thought she saw. She couldn't understand her inability to read her longtime friends lately. She sucked in a mouthful of air and took a tentative step forward.
"Sasuke-kun…" she breathed out slowly, "I want to ask you something."
"What is it Sakura?" was the cool reply as he returned his gaze to the open field.
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
She sighed at his perceived indifference and continued, "Do you think you and I could-"
You're so fuckin' special
"No."
She continued almost pleadingly, "Don't you think that maybe one day, just the two of us could-"
"No…" this time he tuned to face her. "No, Sakura. Not now, not ever. I don't love you, I can't." with that he returned his gaze back out to the field
I wish I was special
"Why not, Sasuke-kun? Won't you give us a chance? Give me a chance."
She looked at the man who would not return her gaze.
"Sasuke…what's wrong with me?" she questioned, barely whispering. Her throat was burning and constricting as a lump arose.
But I'm a creep
"Is there someone else?"
I'm a weirdo
She noticed him tense for a moment at her last question.
Who? Who is she? Why is she better than me? Who could you possibly know better than me for you to fall in love with her?
She stood there for a while scrutinizing him. She watched him stare out, totally ignoring her presence. There was something about his face when he forgot she was there. It was so… familiar. She was sure she had seen it before. She could almost identify the emotions that flit across his perfect features. Wistfulness? Longing? That couldn't be right. She finally decided to follow his gaze...
To the abandoned training grounds...
The very same place team 7 once trained…
The very same place a certain former member of team 7 was on his hands and knees….
What the hell am I doin' here?
Her heart stopped as she looked back and forth between the two ninja. It sped up and her breathing increased when the pieces started to fall into place right before her eyes. They too joined her throat in a burning sensation.
I don't belong here,
"Sasuke!" she demanded.
He slowly turned to regard the fuming pink haired chuunin(2).
"Naruto?" she hissed.
He made no move to respond and continued to stare in her direction.
She shook her head in disbelief and defiance. She tried the restrain the tears from rolling down her face. She tried to temper her welling anger. She wanted him to say something, do something, anything! Tell her she was wrong. Try to comfort her. Tell her he loved her instead. But he would do neither, he just looked at her. Blankly. Disregarding. As if she was nothing more than air. It was nothing like how he looked just moments before.
She knew then everything he said and didn't say to her was true. She was incredibly angry and hurt by his callousness. How can he just stand there and look at me like I don't matter? Before she knew what was happening she brought her hand up and slapped him across the face.
He made no move to retaliate. He just looked at her, his face unwavering.
She brought her shaky hand back to her chest and clenched the fabric over her heart. She could not believe what she just did. She couldn't stand to look in the cold oblivion that only warmed for one person. The one person, who was not her. She had to get out of there.
She's running out again
She began running to no place in particular she just had to get away from him. Away from them. She needed to think, to clear her head. She was reeling from everything that just happened in the past few minutes. "Why?" was the only question that kept popping up in her mind.
She's running
She run run run run...
She ran deep into the forest, getting scratched and whipped by random branches that surrounded her. She couldn't see them or anything for that matter, her watery eyes obscuring her view. She slipped in some mud, catching herself on her hands and knees, scraping the skin. But she didn't care she just picked herself up and kept running.
Naruto looked up to when he noticed a familiar chakra signature near him. He looked up and saw Sasuke and Sakura staring into each other's eyes. He couldn't bear to see them. Not like that. Not while he was so confused. Not when his heart ached for the wrong reason, for the wrong person.
Why do I feel this way? When did it start? I can't look at them… at him.
Run...
He pushed himself back on to his feet and ran from his old training grounds, his old teammates, and his feelings.
Her legs burned and wobbled as she finally found a tree to slump against. As she lowered herself down the rough surface, the bark pierced through the skin that was exposed under her increasingly bunched up shirt. She concentrated on stabilizing her limbs that shook violently, calming her racing heart and inhaling as much air as possible. Harsh coughs wracked her body as she greedily sucked in air. It was not enough. It was never enough. She just could not bring herself to breathe. Clenching her fists and squeezing her eyes shut, she focused. Searing hot tears charged down her face, leaving blazing hot trails from her eyes past her chin. When she was finally able to find a rhythm she opened her eyes. She felt like she was twelve all over again. But this hurt so much more. This time she knew it was final, she knew it was absolute. She turned her face to the direction from where she came. Her puffy red rimmed eyes, glaring viciously. She wanted to burn him- no, them, with her gaze. She wanted them to hurt like she did. The image of Sasuke flashed in her mind. His beautiful porcelain face was at peace, there was a small smile there as he stared at the abandoned training grounds…
As he stared at Naruto...
Never had she seen a smile on his face, a smirk yes, but not a genuine smile. And he was staring with a look she knew all too well. That was the look she gave him. He was going to pay for crushing her heart, for leading her on. For giving her hope. Her heart clenched painfully at the thought of Sasuke. How could he? He was definitely going to pay. He was going to hurt like she was. How would he like it if his love was unrequited? How would he feel? But Naruto was in love. He was in love with her. Sasuke loved some one who loved her. A wicked smile stretched across her face as an evil glint sparked in her emerald eyes. She was going to crush him like he crushed her. She knew just the way to do it. Take away his happiness as he took away hers. She slowly steadied herself on her quivering jelly-like limbs and headed toward Naruto's apartment.
On her way to Naruto's she gave herself a moment to go over the events of the evening again, starting from Naruto's visit. She eagerly skipped past everything, finally settling on her meeting with Sasuke and to the first thing she saw on his face when he looked at her…
Maybe that was jealousy I saw flash through his eyes…
She then concentrated on the look of Sasuke's face as he stared at Naruto. Not only was that the look she gave him but that was the look Naruto gave her…
Well, used to give her.
She recalled earlier in the evening. Something was different about the way Naruto looked at her tonight. It wasn't the same. It wasn't as affectionate as usual, it was more… calculating? It was as if he was testing himself. She began to recall the emotions she thought she saw come across the blond's deep blue eyes.
Fear? Confusion? Relief? Why would he feel those things when I turned him down?
She stopped dead in her tracks at that thought. She began sifting through the moment he asked her out, how his eyes were almost pleading, asking her for the correct answer to a question he never asked.
He forced himself to ask me. But why?
When she thought about it longer, she noticed that he stopped looking at her with longing in his eyes long ago. But she could have sworn she would see it there when they would all meet to catch up with each other and reminisce about the days of team 7. Her, Kakashi, and …
"…Sasuke", she gasped as she stood several buildings down from Naruto's apartment, where she noticed said brunet. She quickly masked her chakra and hid behind a nearby tree to watch him.
This was his first and last place to look for the dobe. That idiot had him running all over Konoha looking for him. He wouldn't have lost the fool if it wasn't for that damn Sakura. Everyone was confessing tonight so he didn't see why he couldn't join in as well. He didn't know when it started, all he knew was that it was part of the reason he left for Orochimaru and was the only reason for him to come back. He was his only reason. It was getting harder and harder for him to maintain a platonic relationship with his blond idiot friend. He was plaguing his thoughts, his dreams, and that made it difficult for him to concentrate on anything. He needed to get it out. He didn't want to ruin their relationship, but he couldn't continue with it the way it was.
Whatever makes you happy
She watched with a small smile as he stood there staring at the door in front of him for the past five minutes.
Whatever you want
She knew he would deny it to anyone who dared ask, but he was terribly nervous. She stifled a chuckle as she watched him glare at the empty space around him, as if it were calling him a coward.
He cautiously stepped forward and raised his fist to knock on the door.
You're so fuckin' special
As she watched him, the smile on her face grew while her heart continued to shatter. She did love him.
I wish I was special
But she knew she was not enough.
But I'm a creep,
She could never be enough for him.
I'm a weirdo
At that moment she realized that she couldn't hurt him. She liked seeing the small smile and the dreamy gaze he held earlier in the evening. If she couldn't do it for him, she was happy that he found someone who could.
What the hell am I doin' here?
They both were startled out of their thoughts as the door slowly opened revealing a slightly worn azure-eyed male.
I don't belong here
"Good luck…" she whispered as she turned and walked toward her home.
Questioning crystalline eyes locked with intense dark. The air around them stilled, so thick, it could clog their throats. Their intense gaze was unaffected by the raising tension that swirled around them.
"Naruto…"
I don't belong here...
1.) IMO if you just look at the outline of Anko's hair, it kinda looks like Sasuke's. He's confused right now so his brain didn't automatically register his little raven.
2.) Yeah, she's still a chuunin, wanna fight about it? (Ha! Gotta love Family Guy)
Well there it was, I hope it wasn't too confusing. Halfway through I lost my mojo and got distracted by another fic idea that I immediately fell in love with. It's an AU SasuNaruSasu fic I hope you guys will check it out, whenever my lazy ass starts to post it.