The water was hot. Too hot. But Daniel didn't care. It was cleansing, burning away the disgrace, the guilt. If only.

Many horrible events had happened over the last few months in his search for his wife, but nothing like this. He hadn't been faithful, he had betrayed her. She wouldn't want him now, if she knew, if she'd seen.

Daniel was shaking. He didn't think he could stand, so he sat, under the burning water.

"Daniel? Are you in there?" Jack called. "Daniel?" His voice echoed in the empty locker room.

Daniel couldn't respond. Surely Jack knew what he had done. He would be angry with Daniel for giving in to Hathor, for not fighting. For not being stronger, a soldier.

He could argue he had tried, that he could not fight her spell. But he hadn't even tried. He had failed. He wasn't strong enough.

Daniel heard the door close. Hopefully Jack had gone. Hopefully he hadn't come in to see who was showering. Hopefully he wouldn't notice. Of course he will notice… He just wont care…

Jack walked in to Daniel's office and was surprised by the emptiness. It was the same office, but with out it's constant occupant. Where could he possibly be? Maybe with Sam, bouncing ideas around?

So he went to see Sam. Near her office he could hear clicking and beeps. Sam was busy on her computer when Jack knocked. "Daniel here?" he asked. She shook her head. "Last I saw him Janet was taking him to the infirmary to make sure… she hadn't hurt him. But you should see this scenario I'm running for the artifact from P3X…"

Jack waved his hand at her, making her stop. "Don't care, Carter. If you decide to take a break sometime today, I was going to rent some movies, order a pizza and drink some beers. We need some team time away from the mountain," he said, waving his arm to the cement walls all around them. "We could use some down time. Teal'c is Kel-no-whating while I come to invite you and Daniel. But Daniel must have his Jack sense on, because I can't find him. He must know I want to steal him away from his precious work." Jack smirked.

Sam couldn't help but smile. "Check the infirmary, Janet might know." She paused. "What time?"

"Anytime, Carter. Anytime." With that, he left. Daniel had better be in the infirmary. Jack felt his knees ache. They had had a hard day and deserved a break he figured.

Janet was taking care of some of the men who had been affected by Hathor more than others. Now that Daniel had left, she had more time. She had to admit, Daniel was worrying her still, even though he appeared to be okay. She alone knew what had happened. She had noticed him draw away inside himself. But she had sworn not to tell anyone unless General Hammond required it of her. She remembered him asking, pleading, for her to not tell anyone. He was ashamed.

The doors to the infirmary swung open. Jack walked in, looking around him.

"Doc! How's life? Good, where are you storing Daniel away?" Jack said.

"Ah, he said he was going to shower and then head home. I already have a officer waiting to drive him home."

"Has he left yet?"

Janet shook her head. "I'm not sure, sir. I sent him away about half an hour ago." Against my will. She hadn't wanted to let him leave after he'd –briefly- told her how his DNA had gotten in the newborn symbiotes, but he had begged her, and looked at her with those hurt lost eyes. She couldn't help it. Anyways, there was nothing physically wrong with him. Nothing she could hold him in for with out slipping his secret.

Jack frowned. He noticed something in the small doctor's eyes. A guilt. He looked hard at her for a moment, then decided it probably had nothing to do with him, the facility or where Daniel was hiding from him.

Finding Daniel was a lot harder than he'd expected. Always making me work harder, aren't you Daniel. Off to the showers, I guess. And wearily he trudged away.

Lt. Peterson climbed behind the wheel of the SUV the army had provided him with. He wasn't in a good mood. When I joined the air force, I didn't think that chauffer was going to be my job. What would my dad think if he could see this now? He was so proud of me when I joined. 'Helping our country is as honorable as it gets' he'd said. And now I drive those honorable people when they are too ill to drive themselves, He thought angrily. It didn't help that his passenger hadn't spoken a word, not even introduced himself. Not that Peterson didn't know who he was. Most people did.

He started up the engine, and put the car into drive. All he had to do was leave the Cheyenne Mountain complex and drive Dr. Daniel Jackson into Colorado Springs, drop him off at his apartment and leave. Then he could get back to his regular duties until someone else needed to be driven home. He shot a glance at the man beside him.

He never had realized how small Dr. Jackson was. Never had he looked little before, but now…

Daniel got out of the car stiffly, without a word to the driver and stalked to his apartment building. He could feel the officer's eyes on his back. He knew what he was thinking. They all think the same thing. They can see it, they know. They know I've betrayed her. That I failed, I wasn't strong enough. He choked back a sob. Breathing was getting hard as a thick lump formed in his throat. His breaths came in short rasps. He could hear the car start up again and leave with a roar. It was getting dark out, but there were still plenty of people around. Daniel felt them watching him. Judging him from the worst mistake he had ever made. It made him stand stiffly straight, and walk slightly robotically. It was unnatural and awkward.

The doorman opened the door "Good evenin' to you, Dr. Jackson." But Daniel didn't answer. He could tell the doorman was surprised. Usually Daniel would greet him cheerfully back. Not today. It didn't matter that it was cold and callous. Nothing mattered now. Nothing, because Daniel knew what they were thinking. He could almost hear it ringing, echoing in his head as so many people thought it. Unfaithful. Liar. A hateful being. His wife is waiting for him to rescue her and he is too busy with Her, he didn't fight it. He wanted it. She was beautiful. She was there, She had said she wanted him, loved him. And he had forgotten about his wife. He hadn't fought. He gave in to what he wanted. He was UNFAITHFUL! The thought hurt him, cutting him like a knife. His heart bled. Nothing matters, nothing…

Jack frowned when he hadn't found Daniel in the showers. Well, he hadn't looked that hard in the showers. He figured Daniel would at least have to dignity to answer his call if he'd been in there. Anyways, he wasn't going to go and check each shower and accidentally find someone else.

So Daniel must have gone home. Jack would call him, but first he had to get Teal'c and out of this building before something happened and kept him here.

In half an hour, Jack had round up Teal'c and convinced Carter to leave with them to help pick out a movie. Otherwise, she would be left at their mercy as to what they would be watching. Not always a good thing.

Now he had a carload to people and was headed off to a movie rental building near his house. He had given Carter the job of calling Daniel. He admitted to himself that his team was a lot closer than they were supposed to be. How couldn't they be? But it felt odd to Jack calling them by their first names, calling them on the phone, and other such personal business after all the years of it being looked down upon in his career. In Black Ops it was best to not know the people working around you because it just hurt more when they had to make a hard choice that could involve someone's death. Sometimes you just can't help it.

Currently, Carter was waiting, phone on cheek for Daniel to answer. The phone kept ringing and ringing. Finally an answering machine picked up.

"You've reached Daniel Jackson, sorry I am not here right now. I will call you back as soon as I can if you leave your name and number. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep."

"Hey Daniel, it's Sam. Colonel O'Neill has invited us all over for movies and dinner. He tried to catch you before you left but I guess you were too quick for him." She laughed a little, making Jack smile. "Anyways, if you want any choice in the movies, call ASAP or you will regret it. Come on over whenever you get this. See you later tonight." And with that she hung up. "See, sir, that wasn't so hard." She joked as she passed the phone back up to Jack.

"Not hard. Never said it was. I am driving Sam. Did you offer to drive? No. So you get to call Daniel." He said sarcastically, but he smiled.

Teal'c turned to Sam. "What is ASAP?" he asked, his eyebrow rose.

Sam laughed at his question. "I always forget that you're not from here. It means…" and she went into her long winded explaination...

Daniel heard the phone ring. He heard the answering machine pickup and Sam leave her message. It sounded so light hearted and happy. How could she talk like that after this had happened? Why had she called? He didn't understand. Why hadn't Jack called? Did he know? Of course he knew! Jack wasn't stupid, no matter how he pretended. Why had they invited him over? So they could pry out of him every detail? So they could blame him for everything? So Jack could kick him off SG-1, finally being rid of his only opponent? Sure, Sam and Teal'c would do whatever Jack said; follow him to his death, but Daniel, no. He didn't want to die. Or he hadn't wanted to die before. Now he didn't care because nothing mattered. Nothing. The thought made him hurt more, tears streamed down his face as he huddled more into the corner he was currently located in between his bed and the wall. Nothing mattered. He shook convulsively. Except Sha're, but she would not want him now. He had betrayed her, he had promised himself that he would wait for her, find her, save her. Now he couldn't. He was damaged. He was unfaithful. Nothing mattered, nothing. Then nothingness took him as he drifted into a restless sleep.

Jack wouldn't say it, but he was worried when there was no message on his machine at home from Daniel when they arrived. They had picked out some movies. There was a false alarm at one point when the phone rang and turned out to be a wrong number. Jack thought that Sam felt it too. Something was certainly wrong. How had Daniel left before them, someone else driving him home, and still wasn't there? Unless he hadn't gone home, but where would he be? Daniel didn't have any friends after being gone for a year. He didn't work anywhere else. Teal'c pulled was put in charge of picking out the first movie and setting it up as Jack went to call for Pizza. Sam followed Jack. "Sir, I think we should call Daniel again." She said, looking down. "Okay. I'll call for the Pizza and then I'll call Daniel."

She looked up. "Can I call him sir?" She continued when Jack looked at her with suspicion in his eyes. "I want to ask him about something."

"About?" He asked, pretending to be interested.

"Nothing," she looked down. "Just a thing about a thing..." she drifted off.

Jack nodded his head. Not satisfied. Normally he couldn't get Sam and Daniel to stop talking about what they were doing, and now Sam wouldn't even start.

Jack quickly called for the pizza delivery then he hung up and left Sam to call Daniel.

"Daniel, it's me again. I just wanted to see if you are okay. I think I know what you meant by the DNA being yours now. Please call me soon." Daniel could hear a certain amount of desperation in her voice. "I haven't told Jack or Teal'c. If you don't call back I'll come and check on you later. We're all at Jacks house if you need to see someone or talk to anyone about it. We miss you." The phone beeped, signaling that she hung up. She had sounded defeated at the end. He knew she didn't really care. She just wanted to be sure, so she could abandon him, like the rest of the world. He didn't blame them. He would have left too. But it didn't matter. She hadn't failed, not like him.

Jack had been waiting around the corner as Sam called Daniel, hoping to hear what she said. The Teal'c came up. "I require assistance with your equipment." He startled Jack, making him embarrassed to be caught eavesdropping on two of his best friends. Jack nodded, still straining to hear the hushed tone of Sam's voice. He heard one bit that stood out in his mind. "I think I know what you meant by the DNA being yours now." And that was all he got. He left, inwardly regretting it, to help Teal'c with the movies.

Sam came into the room soon after.

"Did you catch him?" Jack asked.

"No," she shook her head. "He didn't pick up."

"Tell you what, Carter. You and Teal'c hand here and wait for the Pizza. Money's on the table. I'll go get Daniel since he is playing hard to get." He'd pieced it together. He understood now. He knew the Daniel would be ashamed. He needed to get to him, to pull him from his fortress before the drawbridge was all the way up.

"I can go, sir." Sam said, standing up straighter than before, a fake willing smile on her face.

Jack shook his head nonchalantly. "No need. You've had a hard day, put up your feet and rest a bit. I can go get Daniel."

Sam looked at him, as though she was trying to figure out if he knew or not. She was biting her bottom lip, a bad habit she had when she was thinking hard.

She spoke cautiously, "He may be a little… out of it… sir, after the whole Hathor event, sir. He did get hit harder than most" all "of the men."

Jack looked her in the eye and hoped she could see that he already knew. "I know, Carter," was all he said, but he could see that she understood. She nodded, relaxing slightly.

Jack threw on his coat and grabbed his keys. "Be back in a bit."