"Gravity of Souls"

Summary: Laying low in an Akuma-infested area, the exorcists are attacked and split up. Rabi and Kanda find themselves in an unexpected situation.

A/N: Okay. This is a short four-part story that came to me while I was looking at fanart. The piece was called "Gravity". And since I adore both Kanda and Rabi, it not only caught my eye, but it struck a chord in my mind. I sincerely hope you like it as much as I do. This first part is mostly introspective, with very little dialogue. Come to think of it, there really isn't much dialogue in the entire story. In any event, this chapter was written while listening to the Fair to Midland album, Fables From a Mayfly: What I Tell You Three Times Is True. Good music for exposition and rising action.

Part I: Reasons For Insomnia

They look so innocent when they sleep. That was what she thought. With all three of them laying in beds so close to each other, Renali got the full effect of seeing Kanda, Allen, and Rabi all asleep together. It was not that she wasn't just as tired as they were. She just couldn't sleep. But seeing them this way was worth her insomnia, she thought. At least in part. Allen's features were lax and completely composed, unlike when he was awake. During waking hours, his most common expression was one of determination. Kanda's face was relaxed in sleep, and she nearly sighed. He really did look so much younger curled up like that on his side. Rabi smiled as he slept on Kanda's other side, his hands behind his head.

Yes, they looked innocent. But she was sure that there were people who were infinitely more distressed that were the same way. Finally, she lay down, and in a few minutes sleep took her.

Kanda was the first to wake up. The first rays of dawn were peeking into the room, falling onto the bed nearest him on the left. Even in the dim gray of early morning, Rabi's hair was like fire. That damned smile on his face was still as annoying as ever. At least he wasn't awake yet. The second he was up, the idiot would be calling him "Yuu-chan". His eyes rolled. He hated being called by his given name. But he hated it even more when Rabi did it. The worst part was that the redhead knew it annoyed him, and yet he still used the name. Or perhaps that's why he did it?

Whatever the case, Kanda Yuu found himself grumbling incessantly when in Rabi's presence. He had even told Walker that he should call him Yuu-chan. If there was one thing he would not allow, it was for someone shorter than himself to call him "chan". Casting his eyes away from Rabi to his other side, he took a good long look at Allen. Stupid little bean sprout. The kid was brash, which he could grudgingly admire, since he got the job done, but he was a complete idiot who knew next to nothing about his own abilities.

They must be a sight. Miranda was passed out, having tried to keep up her time-reversing field for too long. Had it not been for her, they would all be dead. His wounds suddenly gave a twinge, reminding him of how badly they would have hurt if he'd gotten injured further. Walker sustained little damage, only a slight graze to his shoulder. Rabi's head wound was not something to scoff at, though. As much as he disliked the flame-haired exorcist…bookman in training…whatever he was…he could admit that they needed him, and if he were out of commission, then he would miss having him around.

The events of the night weighted on his mind. There had been so many of the Akuma…There was little in the world that frightened him, but for some reason or another, it was absolutely terrifying when he had seen the writhing sea of spiky, oddly shaped creatures coming down that hill at them. Death had not been a question. It was a certainty that he merely wished to prolong as much as he could, taking as many of those God-forsaken things with him to the grave as possible. Somehow, they had survived the night to lick their wounds and find shelter in this dingy space.

Feeling for his sword, he found it where he had left it. The sheath was always cool to the touch, no matter how hot the weather, or how much blood it was covered with. He wished that he could stay so cold. That way, he would not need things. He hated needing things…people…anything. If he could do with out sleep or food, he probably would. It would be so much easier just to keep going. Keep hacking his way through the world, one Akuma at a time, without regard to anyone else. There were certain individuals, however, that seemed bound and determined to ensure that did not happen.

The light was growing, and had become a pale yellow, bordering on the warmer gold tones that made him almost smile in spite of himself. There was only one window, a small, mostly dirty casement nearby, but even so, warm golden light began peeking into the room. Kanda watched it in fascination as it moved in a bright, squarish puddle across the floor. Strangely, it disappeared for about fifteen minutes, only to show up again at the foot of Rabi's bed. It had apparently been climbing up the side as the sun rose. First lighting his feet, it traveled slowly toward his face. Kanda's eyes fixed on the bandage that was wound around the man's head. It covered a gash in his scalp, which had bled profusely into his uncovered eye and down the left side of his face.

The memory of that image made him shiver. The green of that eye stood out eerily against bright red that fought to film it over. Kanda had not had time to really look very hard, but he nonetheless remembered that small moment in the battle when their eyes had met. Every detail of the scene seemed burned into his mind. He was decently certain that he could draw it perfectly, with his eyes shut. That fact was somewhat disheartening to him. Rabi was really the only one of his…co-workers that he had any social contact with, so maybe that was why the gory sight had stuck with him. To his mind, that was not a good thing. After all, if he started feeling partial to his fellow exorcists, something bad might happen, like not being able to kill them if they were to become Akuma.

At this juncture, he was certain that if it came to that, he could do it. He could strike down any one of these people, and not feel bad about it. But if he did not check this behavior, it might not always be that way. Making a sour face, he groaned softly as he hauled his sore, injured body out of the bed. Immediately, he hit the floor. His leg had fallen asleep…the entire thing! Struggling to make it back to his feet, Kanda gripped the edge of the bed. He'd almost made it upright when his injured thigh decided to give a spasm and he fell once again.

This time, however, he did not hit the floor. A pair of hands caught him under his arms, pulling him to his feet. Trying to protest, he was silenced by a soft voice. "Shh," the voice said near his ear, "you'll wake them, Yuu-chan." Startled, and not a little embarrassed by his inability to keep himself upright, Kanda jerked away from Rabi. Of course, his leg was beginning the painful pins-and-needles stage of waking up again, so he fell backward, only to be caught once more, this time by the waist. Kanda was set on his feet again, but Rabi did not let go. "Can you stand by yourself? Are you hurt?" His voice was kind, filled with concern. One green eye searched his face for signs of discomfort.

In a soft hiss, he replied, "My leg is asleep, that's all." When he tried to push away from the redhead, he found himself being gently lowered to the bed. Once he was seated—looking rather confused, because he honestly didn't know what Rabi was doing—he watched the other man grab his leg and then nearly grunted in pain. That half-dead feeling of numbness had given way to the prickling, itching sensation of blood rushing back into his leg, and Rabi only seemed to be making it worse as he flexed and massaged the muscles.

Setting his foot down after a few more moments, Rabi stood again, grinning down at him. "Good as new?" In answer, Kanda stood slowly, and without saying anything, stalked off to the bathroom. He thought he heard the other man mutter, "You're welcome, Yuu-chan."

Fuming silently, Kanda grimaced into the mirror. Stupid…stupid Rabi. His thoughts turned ever darker, thinking of various ways to cut the other man's tongue out so that he would never again have to hear the words Yuu-chan. Where did he get off? This wasn't the first time he had been treated like a child by that idiot of an exorcist. Did he hit himself on the head with his hammer or something? Kanda shook his head to clear his thoughts, and decided to wash up. Water from the faucet was strangely warm, and smelled of some kind of limey mineral when he splashed his face. Taking one of the small towels from the stack nearby, he dabbed his face dry, thinking that he looked pretty good for being half-dead. Just then, his stomach decided that it was time to rumble.

There was no sound coming from the bathroom now, other than that of water running. Kanda was his usual grumpy morning self today, and Rabi shrugged, wondering if he ever woke up on the right side of the bed. Though, they had been on enough missions together for him to know that there was more going on in Kanda's head than met the eye. Even if the dark-haired exorcist did not care for him, Rabi felt that Kanda needed his friendship. He needed something. It was hard to get to know Kanda Yuu, but of all the people in the Black Priesthood, he was probably the one who came closest.

He was the only one who knew about the nightmares that often kept the man from sleeping, and were the reason he slept on his side, curled into a near-fetal position. No, Kanda did not feel the need to discuss them. And when he chanced to have them on missions, Rabi had always stifled him, waking him up and never asking questions about the hunted look in sleep-hazed eyes. Once, he had suffered a black eye, because Kanda had decked him while trying to get away. After that, he hadn't been able to look Rabi in the eye for nearly an hour, but he never said he was sorry.

Come to think of it, Kanda never apologized for anything.

Leaning against the wall, Rabi watched yet another argument between Allen and Kanda. Well, it was more like Kanda rolling his eyes at Allen while the smaller boy made hissing sounds at him. They couldn't really raise their voices, slam doors, or anything of that nature, since it would inevitably end in their discovery by the hordes of Akuma that were all over the island, but Allen was doing all he could to make his point.

"But we have to do something!" Allen's fists were clenched, his eyes narrowed, and he leaned down into Kanda's face, while the other exorcist was merely examining the cutting edge of his sword. "Are you even listening to me, Kanda?"

Disinterested eyes rose from where they had been to meet Allen's, and even Rabi was chilled. It never ceased to amaze him how cold Kanda's eyes could be when he really tried. Allen stiffened, enraged. He walked back to the chair where he had been sitting, and dropped himself back into it, sending a piercing glare at the black-haired exorcist. Kanda just returned to looking at his blade. Wondering briefly about how someone could be so cold, Rabi took this opportunity to really look at Kanda. It wasn't often that the other was so occupied that he wouldn't notice the scrutiny.

Rabi did not need two eyes to see that Kanda was much stronger than he looked, physically. He was thin, and if they weren't nearly the same height, Rabi would call him petite. But as it was, he couldn't think of a word for him. Nothing was easy about Kanda. From simply talking to him, to being his friend, to fighting with him…there was always another angle, another facet. Rabi saw the way he cared for his blade, like it was the only thing he could really trust. He saw the way he kept everyone at arm's length, and how almost nothing got to him, unless it was a handful of circumstances. Duty, honor, a strict moral code, and the constant assurance that his life was lived for a single purpose…these were written clearly on Kanda's face.

A sad smile came over Rabi's lips just then. If only he could find a way to get past all that…He thought that Kanda might be a more vulnerable person on the inside, and all of the aggression and apparent coldness was to keep people from getting at that part of him. Kanda chose that moment to look up at him, the usual blank expression in his eyes, and Rabi sighed. It was like he was an insect, or something else to be inspected but not really cared for. Once again, a chill ran through his body, though he did not shiver. He was used to those glances, after all.

There was a tiny downward turn to the corners of Kanda's mouth, a minimal frown. Rabi did not look away. This was no staring contest, but he felt as if there was something…something beneath. Why couldn't he see it? Kanda's eyes widened just a little, and he blinked slowly. Long, coal-black eyelashes made a small shadow on his skin for an instant before they rose again, revealing cold, dark eyes. They were a very dark gray, but in certain light, he could see very small flecks of silver, which almost glowed any time Kanda was angry. Holding that strangely cold gaze, he remained where he was. It seemed like forever before the other man looked away.

Darkness enveloped the room. Even breathing surrounded him. They were all asleep, for now. So that they would not give away their position, they had been made to cover the window. Even so, Kanda was unsure that they were so unnoticeable. So much power in one room…how had they not been attacked yet? The air had long since become stuffy in the poorly ventilated space, the heat of so many bodies having caused the other men in the room to remove their shirts. Kanda was reluctant. He didn't want to seem weak. Weakness was not an option. But at the moment, he supposed that it couldn't hurt.

Cloth rustled as he unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it out of the top of his pants. Air hit his skin, and he almost sighed. It felt better. Not great, but it was less sticky. After dropping the rumpled article of clothing onto the floor, he proceeded to curl up on his side, the familiar coolness of his sword's sheath lying nearby. Kanda closed his eyes. But in this heat…he knew sleep was a long way off.

Rabi lay awake. He had not been able to sleep, for his mind was still processing every detail of the two whole minutes in which he and Kanda had been staring at one another. Shifting slightly in his bed, he felt the wool blankets scratch at his back. He could feel the fact that Kanda was awake. There was always a pressure around him, a kind of subtle tension, but it died away when he was asleep. Rabi had always felt like that was his force of will.

Having watched Kanda sleep several times before, he knew. He knew that the little crease between his eyebrows never really went away. That the relaxation of his body was only an illusion. Every moment that his friend was asleep was like being in hell, and there was never a time when he was truly relaxed.

A/N: Eh…a crappy place to leave this chapter. But you're getting the idea, yes? Anyway, here's the deal—I wanted Kanda/Rabi fluff, but my darker side was saying I needed some smut. So…I had to set up for both. I guess this is just my way of doing it. The next part will be posted soon.

BONUS: Next time…

… as the sound grew louder, he gave up being quiet, "Wake up! Incoming Akuma artillery!" The sounds of people scrambling out of bed filled the darkness…

… Kanda felt his body being thrown against the door by the blast, and anticipated the shower of debris and brick rubble that would undoubtedly rain down on them. He didn't feel any of that, though… A warm body pressed against his back, and an arm encircled his waist. He felt a hand on his head, pushing him down into a hunched posture. Gasping at the unwished contact, he tried to push away, to protest, to free himself. "Stop that, Yuu-chan…"

…"Shit…" he growled, and grabbed the front of Rabi's shirt, pulling at it until his face was very close to the other man's. "Don't you dare pass out on me, Rabi. I'm not carrying you…