Summary: Sakura's a strong, confident young woman, but when she starts work as a maid for TEN COCKY GUYS! Not only does she have to constantly put up with their sexist jokes and Playboy mags, but when they start trying to get into her pants... what's a girl to do?

This is an AU story, obviously.

Author Note: Well, I think it's quite obvious where I got this idea. I saw the movie Sorority Boys last night, and it was freaking hilarious! I loved it! I don't know if this idea has been done here or not… but I apologize if it has. I'm new to this section so I wouldn't know.

Right now, only Konoha Ninjas, Gaara and are going to actually be "in" the house. Itachi, Deidara, Sasori and the rest are going to make an appearance later.

WARNING: I don't actually know what living with guys is actually like, I just hear things from my friend (Who has three older brothers), and the whole bringing girlfriend home, hiding those playboy mags... etc. So if there's any guy readers out there, please don't get offended if I portray something wrong. :) Keep in mind that everything in here is high exaggerated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters… You know the rest.

The Trouble With Men Is

Chapter One
...Those Damned Pickup Lines!

Isn't it every girl's dream to just have ten guys live with her?

Every morning she'd get up, and there would be ten sexy, dreamy guys waiting for her...

To pamper her with love and affection and give her the whole "I'll-never-look-at-another-girl-now-that-you're-here-in-my-life-because-you're-the-only-one-I-want-to-live-with-and-cherish-every-single-day-heck-I'll-never-even-need-porn-anymore"

Well, I'm sorry to say, life isn't that nice.

You're about to see firsthand... what it's really like to live with ten rowdy young men.

It was Sakura's first day at her new job...

"Hey, who's that?"

"Don't know. New maid?" Two boys were looking out the window at a pink-haired girl, walking along the driveway to their house.

"No way, she's way too hot to be just a maid. She's probably another one of Jiraiya's little secretaries."

"Maybe he'll let me have a go with her."

"I'd tap her."

"Look at those breasts! I mean, look at the lack of breasts!"

"I'd still tap her."

"Kiba, you'd tap a dog if it had a pussy and two tits."

"Hey, that time was an accident, I was drunk and-"

Outside, 19 year old Haruno, Sakura started moving her things into her new home. She glanced up at the huge mansion, and couldn't help but stare in awe. It was gigantic. She hasn't actually been inside yet, but from the pictures, it looked amazing. It had fifteen bedrooms, ten bathrooms, an indoor pool, and a gym. When she first heard about a job opening here, she'd been pretty excited.

Not only was her University just a twenty minute walk away, she'd have a place to live, and earn some much needed cash at the same time.

True, looking after ten boys was not going to be easy, and living with them was probably going to be a major pain in the ass. But the money she was going to make was amazing. She was going to make around two hundred and fifty bucks a day, and with no living or food fees.

Sakura knew that this house had a reputation for being err… unruly.

She remembered having one disjointed phone call with the previous maid. The calls ended with the maid sobbing hysterically into the phone, telling her to get as far away as possible from this house.

At her phone interview, she had asked the landlord, Jiraiya, about the conditions, the people, and some questions she had spent days preparing for. But all he seemed to care about was what was her clothes size, did she enjoy sexual games, or whether or not she liked to eat food off other people.

Of course, if it was any other person, she would've threw a fit and slammed the phone down, but since the pay was so, so good, and she was so, so desperate for money… she let it go.

"But honestly, all I'm going to be doing is cooking and cleaning for them." She thought to herself calmly as she went up to the front steps to ring the doorbell, "How terrible could that possibly be?"

Besides, living with ten boys can't be that bad… can it? Afterall, they're probably all going to the same University as her, so they must be well-respected, educational young men.

If only she knew.

The door suddenly flung wide open, and an old looking man with long, frosty white hair stepped outside.

"Sakura, my dear," the man simpered as he drew her in a bone crushing hug, "How wonderful of you to come! I'm Jiraiya. I believe I talked to you on the phone earlier."

Sakura nodded politely, but secretly, she was shocked at the bizarre way this man act and dressed. She assumed he was a young man, perhaps in his mid twenties, hoping to get some action off of her, which of course, wasn't going to happen.

She definitely was not expecting a sixty-something year old geezer answering the door.

"Wait one second sweetums," He gave her a sugary smile before turning around and yelling roughly, "All you dirty bastards get down here! I want you to meet your new maid!"

Seconds later, nine guys trudged sluggishly down the stairs and walked in the same slow manner towards the front door. But before Sakura could get a good look at each of them...

"All right men, I want you to each introduce yourselves, and say something nice to Sakura to make her feel welcome." Jiraiya instructed, "Naruto, you can go first."

A guy with bright blonde hair and the most awful, awful orange jumpsuit Sakura had ever seen stepped forward and gave her a big grin, "I'm Naruto," and after introducing himself, he began to inspect her very closely, tugging at her shirt ever so often.

"Err- Naruto, what are you doing?" Sakura asked, clearly very uncomfortable.

Naruto looked some more, and then announced, "Yup, I was right, this one's made in heaven!"

Sakura rolled her eyes as the other boys groaned.

"Aw come on Naruto, that's the lamest pickup line I've ever heard! Even Jiraiya wouldn't pull something like that!"

Naruto hung his head and trudged back to his place, "Well I thought it was good…" he said sadly.

Sakura felt badly for the poor boy, even though she thought the pickup line was absolutely repulsive. She said, "Aw Naruto, don't listen to them, I thought it was… sweet."

The other boys, and Jiraiya all gaped at her.

Kiba nudged Neji on the shoulder and whispered into his ear, "This one's going to be easy if she falls for Naruto's lines." He then proceeded towards Sakura and gave her a wolfish grin, "Hey there cutie, my name's Kiba. Now you know if you ever need any help with anything," he gave her a wink, "You can always come to me. Or you know, if you ever just wanna have some fun, knock up a few headboards-OW!"

Jiraiya suddenly whacked him in the head, "Kiba! What did I tell you about asking strangers for sexual favors?"

"Hey! Naruto did it too!" Kiba retorted, massaging his head. "Goddamit! For a sixty-something year old sex-deprived man, you sure hit hard!"

Jiraiya's face turned red, "First of all, I am not a sixty-something year old geezer, I'm thirty-five, got it? THIRTY-FIVE! And I am not sexually deprived! I have had more women in one night than you'll ever have in a lifetime!" He took a deep breath before continuing, "And second of all, there's no point in wasting energy yelling at Naruto because there's no way he's going to pick up any girl with those damned pickup lines of his. You, Kiba, on the other hand…" He gave a big grin, "Let's just say you were just like me twenty years ago, always picking up the ladies…" he stopped halfway with a strange dreamy grin on his face, while Kiba looked like he wanted to puke.

Sakura gave a nervous chuckle, "I'll… keep that in mind…"

No way in hell was she ever going to go to Kiba for help of any sort. Or Jiraiya, for that matter.

"Hello, I'm Shino," A sketchy looking boy with sunglasses muttered under his huge coat, "I would like it if you didn't go into my room. I have a very rare collection of bugs from Africa, and I don't want anyone to go anywhere near them."

Bugs?

Did Shino just say… bugs?

Sakura's mind screamed in fear. She nodded faintly, "Of course, I'd never think of going in your room." She laughed nervously.

Suddenly, she felt someone take her hand and kiss it tenderly. She looked down to see a strange guy with a bowl cut and a tight, spandex jumpsuit.

He tried to give her his "seductive" look, but only succeeded in making himself look very hung over. "My dear, your hair is so soft and lovely, like the clouds in the sky. You are like an angel, your lovely green eyes bring out my suit, and the Gods are just screaming for us to get together." He gave her a dramatic look, "Let us not waste our youth in this place, let's run away and get married in the sunset! We are perfect for each other!"

Sakura gaped at him, "I… don't know what to say…"

"Don't say anything, my love," he whispered to her, eyes twinkling like stars. "Let's just leave."

"I… I don't even know your name."

"It's Lee, "Hard as Rock" Lee," He grinned, "And it's not just my name that's rock hard… If you know what I mean." He proceeded to give her a hearty wink.

Sakura stared at him, not fully understanding what he meant, "That's… nice." She smiled, and gave a shrilled laugh, "Anyways, thanks for the introductions, I think I'll be going to hang my myself- I mean, go to the bathroom." She gave them a look of disgust before rushing off to locate the nearest exit-err bathroom door. She could still hear them all arguing before she left.

"Thanks a lot Lee! You scared her away! I didn't even introduce myself, you big sack of shit!"

"Seriously, "Hard as Rock" Lee? What the hell were you smoking when you thought that up?"

"Lee, did you get drunk while watching Shakespeare again?"

Sakura sighed as she spotted a washroom nearby. She ran in as fast as she could and locked the door.

She's only met four of the guys…

And already she's been driven insane.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall.

"What have I gotten myself into?" She thought as she mentally slapped herself, "I've been with those guys for less than five minutes, and already, I want to shoot myself."

She proceeded to sit at the edge of the bathtub, and then bury her head in her hands.

"What am I going to do?" she rocked back and forth trying to brainstorm a way to get the hell out of this place, "I can't live like this! Screw the money, I just want to get out of here!"

Suddenly, she noticed something glossy and colorful behind the toilet. She bent down and pulled it up.

She gasped.

No way.

Sakura didn't know whether to laugh, or cringe in disgust.

Behind the toilet, were stacks of at least twenty Playboy magazines.

"They… read this stuff?" Her eyes widened in shock as she flipped through the pages. Sure, she's heard of Playboy magazines, but she never imagined they'd be this graphic.

She threw the magazine aside in disgust and reached for a tissue. But instead, she felt something wet, and slippery… and…

She looked up to see what she was really touching and-

"IIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Outside, the boys all stopped mid-sentence as they heard the ear-piercing scream.

"Kiba? Did you forget to turn off the porn again?"

Chapter one is done! Please review, I'd love some constructive critisism.

As for Pairings, I'm not really sure so I guess you guys can decide.

Sakura x Naruto
Sakura x Sasuke
Sakura x Neji
Sakura x Kiba
Sakura x Lee
Sakura x Gaara
Sakura x Shikamaru
Sakura x Sai
Sakura x Itachi
Sakura x Sasori
Sakura x Kakashi

I'm not even going to bother adding Chouji, or Shino, because I doubt anyone will pick them.

Till next chapter!