It Tastes Better When You're Insane

By Gedatsu-Kitteh

Summary: Zim is the new student at school from an unknown unimportant country in Europe. Dib is the insane boy in his class who just won't leave him alone. Zim begins to wonder how Dib could have gotten the way he is and vows to turn him sane in hopes Dib will quit watching him in the shower. He seeks the help of Dib's younger sister Gaz but proves to be just as deranged as Dib. Zim and Dib are left to unlock Dib's past alone, which for some reason Dib cannot recall even in his sanest moments. WARNING: ZADR!

Zim was not happy.

His back was arched like a Halloween cat and his heels were lifted off the floor balancing on his tip toes in his instinctive "defensive mode" position. He stuck his lower jaw out pouting, his bottom row of teeth peeking out from behind his lower lip like little round snowcapped mountains. His light violet eyes glared through slits thin as pins, analyzing the filth before him.

His parents had decided to send him away for a year or so to a place called UH-MEH-RIH-KUH. They had said it would broaden his horizons, give him a chance to meet other people, experience a different culture. They were probably trying to prove to him that not all people were as stupid as his peers back home. But Zim knew better, people were the same where ever you went in the world. Whether they were black, white, purple, circumcised, or ridden with herpes they would always be stupid and smelly.

Yes, Zim was an antisocial misanthrope and proud dammit.

He cringed as he witnessed a child in the first row infiltrate the confines of its nose with a pencil.

Oh the wretched filth.

He regained his posture as he heard the screech of the teacher's chair. He swiveled his head around to watch her rise and then slither to his side at the front of the room. Zim shuddered. My Lord was no one Normal?!

"Class, I would not like to introduce 'Zim", but I have to anyway. He's a horrible new student transferring from somewhere horrible. Now say 'Hello'."

"Hi Zim." the class droned, not so very much in time with one another. Oh how he could not wait to witness the wonders that must take place during this class.

Zim began walking toward the only empty desk in the room. It was behind a rather darkly attired boy who immediately whip-lashed around 180 degrees the second Zim's bum hit his seat.

He froze when his gaze collided with that of the gaping boy's.

He had large wild eyes framed with large glasses and black hair that naturally spiked in the back with one particularly large lock that hung above his head in a scythe like manner (apparently gifted with the ability to defy gravity). He wore a long trench coat and combat boots. He mildly reminded Zim of those kids who wrote horribly disgusting poetry. or drank your life juice… or something like that. Zim liked his life juice and decided it would be best to keep an eye on the big-headed boy.

As Zim watched the more he came to realize the boy was just so… filthy. And… ugly. Zim wrinkled his nonexistent nose (let's not forget to mention smelly). Zim decided that he hated this boy. More than anything.

"You…" GASP. It's vocal!

"Zim." He corrected shifting away uneasily. Zim almost sighed as he realized achieving personal space around this boy would be very short lived.

"You're one of-" The boy took in a dramatically sharp breath. Zim inwardly groaned. "… them!"

Zim could just imagine the little speech bubble appear above him: "…"

"Your skin…! …ears! It's…" The big-head-boy-emo-thing jabbed a shaky finger in Zim's face. "It's… IT'S AN ALIEN!!! AN ALIEN!!!"

Zim jerked in his seat as the freak revealed a rather viscious looking pen.

"Uh…" He swallowed nervously. "Zim greatly dislikes scary meat-boys brandishing ink-filled weaponry."

Stab.

"AAIEEEEE!!!! IT WANTS MY LIFE JUICE!!!" Zim immediately burst into hysterics flailing and tripping over his desk attempting to escape the molestation, landing flat on his rear.

Zim shrieked as Dib jabbed with his spooky pen of evil- luckily missing every time and spewing things along the lines of: "THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE OVER!!! DESTROY US ALL!!! QUICK!! KILL IT! KILL IT!!"

Zim scrambled to his feet to find the teacher calmly sitting at her desk and munching on god only knows what. Zim didn't know what was scarier. That there was an emotionally retarded boy after his sweet-sweet-so-ever-AMAzing-Zim-juice or that the teacher sat there as if she was watching the daily news.

My God the world was disgusting. Zim could remember gagging every morning back in his old country looking out his bedroom window.

"I KNEW IT! I knew it all along!!" The demented dirt child was now handling a nice pair of sharp sissors with an evil glint in its eye.

Yeah. Zim really missed those filthy mornings of horror and uncleanliness. And with that last depressing thought he dashed toward the open door faintly hearing the hideously insane chanting of: "Destroy us aaaaallll…. Destroy us aaaaallll…." He felt a shiver creep up his spine and physically shook with nerves. He stopped running to slide down the hallway wall to a hunched over sitting position.

Oh why oh why must everything surrounding him always be so disturbing and ugly?

A/N: first chap. Reviews mean more story. So review away people! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!!