Disclaimer: I only own Match Maker Man!
AN: Sorry for not updating in a bit. My editor and I have been lazy and refused to write. So, I finally wrote it myself. Hope you like the chapter!
Practice: Day 2
The next day arrived. Tsunade decided to be smarter this time and had a roll call.
"Sasuke? Hinata? Gaara?"
Three voices replied, "Here."
Tsunade smiled and placed three huge checkmarks on her clipboard. She glanced at it and then through it into the air. "The rest of you don't matter."
"Hey!" Naruto yelled, jumping up and down. "I'm going to be the next Hokage!"
"Yeah, whatever," Tsunade replied. "Anyways, we are missing just Kakashi. Oh well. And……the Akatsuki. Hm…Tobi's here, but the rest are gone."
"Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi cried happily as he got hit on the head with the clipboard. He bounded back to his feet, smiling still.
Tsunade shrugged. "Whatever. Gaara, Sasuke, Kankuro, Hinata, get on stage and practice 'Track Down this Murderer'. Now."
Gaara's part went without at hitch. It was Kankuro singing the mob's part that everything got a little strange.
"Track down these murderers!
They must be found!"
The next few parts of the song went fine. It was went the mob's part came along again that everything went strange. And this time, Kiba, Shino, Sakura, Ino, Choji, and Naruto were also singing.
"Track down these murderers -
They must be found!
Hunt out the traitors,
who are S-rank criminals!
Too long they've preyed on us -
but now we know:
the Akatsuki without their leader is here,
in Konoha...
They're here:
the AKATSUKI!"
Before the song could continue, a huge pair of cymbals was smashed together. Everyone turned to see Orochimaru, excuse me, Match Maker Man, holding them. Behind stood all of the Akatsuki, all of them looking extremely guilty. Tsunade raised her eyebrows. Orochi—Match Maker Man bowed ungracefully and disappeared in a puff of smoke that left everyone coughing.
"Akatsuki (cough) what (cough) have you (cough) been (cough, cough) doing?" Tsunade asked.
"Well, (cough) it's not (cough) our fault!" Sasori retorted.
"Yeah, (cough) un (cough)!"
"Sasuke, (cough) Hinata, (cough) go to the (cough) prop (cough) room and (cough) get the (cough, cough) Phantom's (cough) mask for (cough, cough, cough) Gaara," Tsunade said. "I'll (cough) deal with (cough, cough) them."
"Why can't I get my mask?" Gaara asked, not coughing one bit. When everyone looked at him, he said, "Sand armor."
"Because, (cough) you're good (cough) at threats!" Tsunade replied.
"Ok."
Choking, Sasuke and Hinata got backstage. Finally, there was breathable air. After enjoying the pleasure of being able to breathe, they went to the prop room and opened the closed door. A woman screamed and a man asked, "What do you two want? I'm not doing a foursome with some underage kids."
"We're here for the mask," Sasuke said, bored. Hinata's face was turning every color of red.
Asuma sighed and threw the Phantom's mask at them. Sasuke caught it and closed the door. Out of the side of his mouth, Sasuke told Hinata not to mention what they just walked in on. Hinata nodded faintly, trying to erase the image from her mind.
When Sasuke and Hinata arrived back on stage, the Akatsuki, and all the adults had disappeared. In the center of the stage, Temari and Shikamaru stood, arguing. Sasuke tossed the mask to Gaara, who caught it. He stared at it a long time before Naruto ripped it from his hands and put it on him. Hinata suppressed a giggle as Gaara looked at her from across stage.
"Well, you're just lazy!" Temari half-shouted.
"You're just troublesome," Shikamaru retorted.
Temari glared at him after calling him some colorful names.
Ino shouted, "Hey! You can't talk to Shika-kun like that!"
"She can if she wants to, Ino," Shikamaru said tiredly.
"Defending me?" Temari sounded amused. "Well, you're going to have to pay for that!"
Quick as lightning, Temari ran to Shikamaru, grabbed something and ran just out of arms' reach. Shikamaru stared at her. "What did you do, you troublesome woman?"
Temari smiled sweetly and help up a hair tie. Shikamaru's hair down. His face flushed.
"Give me that back!"
"Come and take it from me," Temari told Shikamaru coyly.
Shikamaru took the bait and went over to her. Roughly, he kissed her. After a long time, he pulled away. Temari stared at him in wonder as she touched her lips lightly.
"That was…unexpected…hey! You took the hair tie!" Shikamaru grinned and held it up. Quickly, he tied his hair back up.
Temari grabbed his collar and pulled him very close. "You might want to leave your hair down. I'll be pulling it out anyways. Still interested in see how high these fishnets go?"
"You bet," Shikamaru said breathlessly.
Before anything could happen, the adults and the Akatsuki reappeared. In a loud voice, Tsunade said, "Everyone! Costumes are here! The…Akatsuki made them. For us. And they're not lethal in anyway. I know, hard to believe. Let's go to fittings! Now!"
-
Two hours later, both dressing rooms were a mess. The Akatsuki were in a dark corner, sulking. Tsunade had forced them into their ballet girl costumes. The pictures would be handed around for years, all seeing them laughing like lunatics. It became a syndrome known as 'OMFG! The big bad Akatsuki are wearing tutus! And they're pink!'.
Tenten was sitting in a different corner, upset because her costume was all pink and fluffy. When Sakura passed her a cranberry juice sippy, Tenten got an idea. Smiling, Tenten pulled out a kunai from…between two parts of her torso that only girls have. She stabbed the sippy and poured all the juice on the pink dress.
Arranging her face into a look of distress, Tenten ran into the boys' dressing room where Tsunade was and screamed, "MY DRESS IS RUINED! WAH!!!!!"
Everyone stared at her. Neji walked over and placed an arm around her waist and took her hand in his. As he did, he said, "Come with me, Tenten. Maybe…I can kaiten it out! Yeah, that's what I'll do!"
As Shizune observed the pair leaving, she said, "They're not going to get that stain out, are they?"
Hidan answered, "No way in hell."
Few minutes later, Tenten came bounding into the dressing room, smiling. She was still wearing a dress, but this one was green and extremely loose and airy. Dancing around the room, she said joyfully, "Neji fixed it!"
"How?" was the general question.
"Neji-kun's a seamstress!" Neji walked into the room and blushed. He attempted to leave the room. Tenten came bounding over to him and kissed him on the lips. She pulled away, smiling. Neji smiled and grabbed her hand, pulling her off, somewhere.
"You know what the color green hides, right?" Kankuro said.
Everyone in the room shook their head. Kankuro sighed. "Green hides grass stains. Think about it."
There was a collective, "Oh!" from everyone. Except for Naruto, who shouted, "What does that mean?"
Ebisu hit him over the head with a nearby prop chair.
((For those of you who don't get it, prostitutes in the middle ages wore green.))
-
Gaara, Hinata, and Sasuke were walking down one of the wings to the stage. Suddenly, a strange figure appeared in front of them. As the figure came closer, they realized that it was Orochi-Match Maker Man.
"What do you want?" Sasuke asked nonchalantly.
"Well, I want you, Sasuke, but—"
"Pedophile," Sasuke said. Orochimaru bowed.
"But, that is not what I am here for right now," Orochimaru said. He clapped his hands and something very heavy landed behind him. As the dust settled, the three realized that it was a wardrobe. They exchanged glances with each other.
Before they had a chance to blink, they were all locked in the wardrobe. Orochi-Match Maker Man was laughing outside. His shout of 'Threesome' echoed through the empty hallway, along with his retreating footsteps.
"So, how are we getting out of here?" Sasuke asked, arms crossed over his chest.
"Let me handle it," Gaara said.
Hand symbols were formed and sand rushed out of the gourd on Gaara's back. Hinata gasped quietly and moved backwards, away from Gaara and the sand. Without realizing it, she backed straight into Sasuke. She jumped and started to fall forward. Sighing, Sasuke placed an arm around her waist and pulled her up. The back of her head rested on his chest. Hinata could hear every heartbeat.
The wardrobe fell to pieces around the three, but not one piece touched them. Sasuke released Hinata and examined it. He looked at Gaara and nodded. Gaara and Sasuke started back down the hall as if nothing had happened. Hinata smiled at their backs for a moment before running to catch up with the taller boys.
Practice ended, having very few productive things actually happen. But, Tsunade was very pleased anyways. Well, who knew what had been going on out in pit band area? Tsunade and a few other gentlemen had disappeared for a few moments…
Three hours after everyone had left, Kakashi walked into the theatre, reading a book. He looked a little worse for the wear. He looked up and said, "Sorry I'm late…Oh well."
AN: Blame the grape juice! And the turkey! Review if you still have function of your brain!