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"You...don't...want...me?"

"No."

New Moon, pages 69 & 70.

It had been 50 years since I heard those words echo throughout the forest. 50 long years in which I thought that I would forget the pain they brought me, that it would be easier to forget now. But if anything, it was harder. Every time those words replayed in my head – which was, surprisingly often enough – I felt as if I were to die. I felt as if my world was suffocating me and there was no way out; I simply couldn't breath right anymore.

I suppose it had been a mistake to travel alone into the meadow that day. Jacob and the wolves had done everything to keep me safe from Victoria. They had even killed Laurent for me, though I hadn't known that it was them at the time. I was indebted to them forever. Yet, I didn't listen to Jacob's heartfelt warning; I traveled back to the meadow, back to where Edward had once told me that he loved me – what a brilliant lie that had been!

Victoria, the ever tracking vampire that Jacob fought so hard to keep me safe from, found me there. And when she started her attack, all I could think was that it was finally all going to be over.

I felt her drinking my blood, though I'm not sure I was entirely conscious. The pain was unbearable, but I was happy that I was dying. It would release me from the prison I had been in since Edward left me.

I was finally going to be free on my own accord.

The wolves got involved; they tore Victoria off of me as soon as Jacob and Sam tracked me down. One of them - I forget which one now - was supposed to be watching me. And, like I had escaped from Jasper in the airport in Phoenix, I had escaped from him as well. Jacob, I was sure, was furious.

Of course, by then, it was too late.

Victoria hadn't killed me in the traditional sense, but I was no longer living, either.

I was a vampire, like Edward.

They say that when you change into a vampire, you lose your human memories. Was it that Edward and I had been too much in love – or whatever that was – when we were together that I couldn't lose him? Or was it that the bond that he had left on my life couldn't allow me to escape from him?

That was 50 years ago when he left me. I should be a 68 year old lady with grandchildren and a loving husband and many memories.

Instead, I was a vicious monster.

I didn't drink from humans. I, too, saw that it wasn't fair. Yes, I cheated and screwed up a couple times, but I was better at controlling my thirst. I feasted on animals, though, unlike the Cullen Family, I can't say I really had my favorite. I drank the blood for the sheer reason of sustaining myself.

In all these years, I never bothered to look for the Cullen Family. What good would it do? It had been 50 years, after all. Edward had moved on, there was nothing left for me there. He made it pretty clear in those woods that day that he didn't want me, that he didn't care about me anymore.

You get good at moving around a lot when you stay the same for so long.

Sadly, I don't have a vampire "parent" to take care of me. I've taken to living in half-way houses and runaway shelters and even orphanages, claiming to not know where I came from or who my parents are. All I say I know is my name – Bella Swan. Of course both Charlie and Renee have been dead for quite some time, so no one can ever find my parents or even any other living relatives that I have.

And that has lead me to Shoreline, Washington. It's just north of Seattle in the ever rainy Pacific Northwest. It's no where near as rainy as Forks was, but it's not the sunniest place ever. I'm posing as a run away child living in a half-way house. The kids are mainstreamed into the public school district. I am a junior this year, for what seems like the millionth time. The school is ever so cleverly called Shorewood High School.

"Can I help you?" A crisp, young receptionist asked me as I walked into the main office building.

"Yeah," I said shyly. I peered over the desk at her. "My name is Bella Swan, and I'm a new student here... I'm staying at the Shoreline Youth Center."

"Ah, yes. They did call and tell us that you would be transferring in here," she offered a bright smile as she typed my name into the computer database. It was already midway through the first nine weeks, so I would be the new student, again. It's not the biggest town, and I had already received some awkward glances from the students passing me in the hall on my journey to the attendance building.

"Here you go, hun," she said with another bright smile as she handed me my course schedule. She then proceeded to show me a map and how to get to each of my classes. I wasn't really interested in attending any classes, but oh well. It happened, right.

"Thanks," I responded with the upmost sincerity. I was thankful that she was doing her job and at least attempting to make it better for me here. Sometimes the receptionists in schools weren't as all pleasant or helpful as they ought to have been.

As I turned to leave, I saw the young woman get a dreamy look on her face. I heard the door to the office swing open, and it was as if all the sound in the room had rushed out. The last words I heard before I bolted out the door were, "Good morning, Mr. Cullen. How may I help you?"