Disclaimer for all chapters: I don´t own Charmed – I never will – unfortunately. Well, and I don´t get paid for writing that is also important.

A/N:

Please be kind. I am not very good at English as it is not my first language. I repeat English is not my native language. I learned English at school but I will never be perfect. If you criticize my English please tell me how I can improve it. I am open for all criticism and I want to get better.

I was inspired by some awesome Supernatural fanfictions and some other
beautiful Charmed fanstories. Please tell me if you feel offended in any kind of
way. I try to make my own story but with so many already existing stories out there it is
difficult to write something new without taking stuff of others...

Time: Probably sometime after "Little Monsters"

Genre: Angst

Summary:

Chris Perry has a difficult job to do: He must save his big brother. His only
problems are the following ones:

1. His brother was already evil
2. He went back in time to change that
3. He had difficulties to find the threat that turned his brother into a bad
guy
4. He stayed at his "home"
5. Unfortunately his family didn´t know him
6. They hated him
7. And he had no clue how to make things better
8. There will be something coming towards him that will make things worse
9. He is now in the middle of BIG troubles involving illness,
weakness, a lot of emotions...

A few weeks after the incident in Wyatt´s nursery, Chris found himself yet again in trouble. His family avoided him whenever possible. Therefore he got depressed and did a lot of things completely wrong. Now he found himself in even worse trouble. Meeting the false guys could mean your very own end...

No such things as mercy if you are a Halliwell

Chapter 1: Trouble begins

It was there again. It was a pounding and annoying headache. It felt like a dull ache that would not go away no matter what he tried to do against it. No amount of pills or sleep would do any good. It was a constant aspect in his life now and he had the feeling that it worsened.

Last time, he had suffered from it, was after the incident in Wyatt´s nursery a couple of weeks ago. After he had rescued Wyatt and had made sure that Piper would care about and protect him he had left the Manor. The headache had reappeared a few minutes later.

(Here we go: Sequel to "A night in Chris Perry's life")

He never thought that a few nights without sleep could weaken him so much. A few nights in which he did things he was not proud of. Those were things which he would undo if only he could. Such things that he did not regret nevertheless.

But he hadn´t time for this. Right now all it was that he needed was a damn spell that should get him out of this mess he found himself in. He managed to screw up again. It was not as badly as anytime before but it was troubling.

And this trouble was the reason why he was here in the attic tonight. Again.

It was like a nightly ritual. Literally: Go check the book. Look for the spell. Cast it. Then go to the demonic bar without worrying about troubles. Drink away all the sorrow that appeared during the day. Make yourself feel better even if you do not change your situation.

It could have been this easy to receive information from ugly demons. Get them drunk; ask them questions, demand answers. Easy - it should have been easy.

It couldhave been. The operative word in this sentence was "could".

But he had never had an easy life in the past since he had come here. It all started when he tried to stop the Titans and it all got to its peak when his very own mother, Piper Halliwell, kicked him out of the Manor - when she told him that she did not need his help to protect her son Wyatt Halliwell.

Yes, he never had it easy in his life. And therefore he was in trouble. Again.

Not only that the demons would not talk voluntarily. It was not like they did that ever before. No, they would ask him questions instead. Pretty cruel questions or personal ones. He did not expect a demon to help him get over his own personal issues.

Great - just great. What a wonderful outcome of his nightly visits to stupid demonic bars.

He should have known - should have guessed, expected or even realized it before it had gone this far. But Chris was just tired, sore and a little sick. He was fed up with it all. Yet at the same time his determination to save Wyatt had not lessened.

He tried to remember where he had gone wrong. It felt like it all developed really fast. Ever since his first time in the demonic bar everything went from good to downright wrong:

Flashback...

He orbed down to the Underworld in search for his latest round of questioning and getting questioned. He was frustrated yet again. He was fed up with his life, work and success – or failure - in the past. His mother treated him like shit – his own mother. Sure she was not really his mother but still she looked like her and yeah, she was her younger version. She had no respect of him although he was her whitelighter and had only the best interests at heart.

Well, he shouldn´t have gone down there in his current mood. He should have known better than to go somewhere dangerous while his emotions were like a whirlpool. Messed up emotions meant messed up powers. And messed up powers only meant danger because one could not access them properly. Powers were connected to emotions after all.

Chris was down in the underworld nevertheless. Fortunately no one had seen him orbing to the bar. Blue orbs were a dead giveaway for whitelighters. Even half breeds like him. Thank God, his spell made sure that he couldn´t be identified as a whitelighter easily. It cloaked him and should have protected his real identity.

Now he walked into the demonic bar. He needed a drink. The bar was ironically just like every other normal bar in the upper world. It had a bar keeper, barstools, tables with candles and cards, a huge counter that could provide you with all the alcohol you wished for and it had a huge dancing floor.

Somehow it reminded Chris of P3, a club which his mother owned in the upper world. He snorted at the thought. Whenever he thought about her as "mom" he would... Well, his mom gave him a very hard time. And his aunts did, too. Screw them. It was time to ease up his pent up emotions and gain some new information on the threat to Wyatt.

After all he had not done anything wrong. Well yes, he shouldn´t have put Leo to Valhalla and kept him a prisoner there. He was his dad somehow even if only biological and in the near future. And yes, he shouldn´t have employed Gith. And he shouldn´t ... Ah, he sounded just like his mom and like Leo these days. All, you did this wrong, you did that wrong, never you did well or we are proud of you!

What´s done was done. And after all, it was for Wyatt´s sake. But nobody seemed to understand. Nobody tried to even understand what he went through. What he still put himself through. Every single night the nightmare would keep him awake. Every waking hour he would think about ways he could prevent the inevitable. Yet, he always knew there was nothing he could have done in the future. What happened happened. But he was trying his best to never let that future happen again. He would succeed.

Well, he could do something right now. He could change things for the better. That was his goal after all - his reason for coming back to the past in the first place: Saving Wyatt - protecting Wyatt - keeping Wyatt innocent and good. It was everything about Wyatt, always about Wyatt.

Now he sat at the counter and had a big beer in front of him. Normally he wouldn´t have drunken an alcoholic drink. Never. He was on a mission and this mission was way too important to be faced too easily. But not now - now he was utterly frustrated.

"How could she keep a demon in the playpen? How could she?" he muttered. He still could not believe that his mother had allowed a demonic baby to be in the same playpen as his brother was in. She was willingly accepting a threat in her own house right next to Wyatt. Was she out of her mind? What was she thinking? He shook his head at those thoughts.

"Escuse meee," a big and imposing but drunk demon next to him babbled, "Whadd´ou sssay?"

"Nothing," Chris replied deeply in thought. He still could not wrap his mind around the behavior of his mother.

"Yooou lookkk way tooo nicccce too beee heerree," the demon insisted to make small talk. He smelled like vomit and dirt. Chris had to resist the urge to wrinkle his nose.

"Yeah, I think so," Chris did not really listen to him. Actually he paid him no attention but he tried to be polite. So he answered this instead of a simple "mhm".

"Whhhyyyyy arrre yoou hereee? Whhattt´s yourrr problemm? Wittchhes?" the demon chatted further on not in the slightest bit disturbed by the minimal response from Chris.

"Yeah, exactly," he said before he realized what he had done. He had listened with one ear to what the demon had said but he had not really understood what he had asked. That was why he just answered promptly letting his frustration out. One could only keep feelings so long bottled up.

"I knowww theyyy caaan beeeee veryy annoyyinggg. Doo yoou neeed heelpp vanquishingg themm?" The demon was all business now. He thought maybe that he could earn himself a few bucks and have fun.

"No, I can handle them," he answered too quickly. He had to get himself out of this mess. He could not be willingly hiring a demon to kill his mother and aunts. Was he nuts now?

Great. What have you done now? A little voice inside his head scolded him.

"Don´tt bee soo shyy. I caaan heelp. I knoww a lott of demonnns. Weee caaan helpp yoou!" The demon drank a lot of his beer and burped, "Yoou shouldd drink, itt helpps!" He exclaimed happily as if beer was the answer to Chris` problems.

He pointed expectantly towards Chris´ beer that was only half empty by now. Chris looked from the demon to the beer and back and sighed.

Maybe I could take a little time off. Maybe. The inner voice was now encouraging him to take a time out. Something in him told him that even he deserved a break once in a while.

He grabbed his beer and drank. He did not really like beer but it was better than nothing and it did not get him drunk as fast as harder liquor would.

"That´ssss a gooood bbboyy!" The demon grinned, he was proud that he accomplished something and sat closer next to him. The demon´s scent let Chris´ stomach turn.

"Whatt´sss youuur nammme? I havven´tt seennn yoou aroundd befforre!" The demon was in a good mood and happy to have found a chatting partner. And he was curious as well.

Shit. There we go. A demon who wants friendship. Or a dinner. Well... just play along... I can vanquish him later... Chris was really weighing his options and settled for a safe approach.

"I´m Matt," Chris said indifferently as if it was his real name. Sometimes he was shocked to see how easily he could lie through his teeth and pretend to be someone else. But several years under Wyatt´s dominion would change a lot of people, even a Halliwell.

"Yeah, I´mmm oold Jooo. Nice to meet yoou!" He offered his slick hand and grinned a toothless smile. Chris shook it nevertheless to keep up his pretence.

Well that was new. His inner voice warned him of something he could not yet put his finger on.

"Sooo coouldd yoou neeeed a helppp´ handdd?" The demon urged him to hire him. It seemed like the poor bastard needed entertainment.

Now or never. Wait what did he say? He knows a lot of demons. Yeah great. Maybe I could use him for information. And he doesn´t look too strong. So why not risk it? Chris was only seeing the advantages now.

"Well...," Chris began hesitantly.

End of flashback...

Chris never understood why he did this in the first place. It was wrong in so many ways. He simply spent way too much time down there. He was letting his frustration getting the better of him.

He drank a lot of beer and met a lot of Jo´s friends or whatever you would call them. Fortunately they were not too powerful to handle if something went wrong. But they also were not the threat that he needed to eliminate in order to save Wyatt.

But the worst part of it was that his charges – the sisters – didn´t even notice his absence. Not even once had they asked him where he was, what he had done while they were busy doing god knows what. They pretended that they didn´t need him that much and they said he should lay low. Great. Chris´ inner voice was getting angry again.

Therefore Chris was in the bar. He needed to get his anger out. He needed a difference. He needed someone to talk to – even if it was a demon. He would even go with the refrigerator if that freaking thing could respond. He just needed someone who would hear him out, offer him a chance, a shoulder to cry on. He needed a rock, something that told him to keep going.

Something that helped him to endure all of the things he had to tolerate or suffer from. He could not stand to always hear the complaints and distrust of the sisters.

But it was not only this night that he was down there.

He was there the next night. And the following. And...

All the while he thought he would receive useful information but instead he only met new demons and had more to drink and less time to sleep. He began to understand that he fooled himself. He did not go there for information. He did it for selfish reasons. He wanted to go down there. Drink. Talk. Pretend. Forget.

And there was the next problem: He was getting no sleep. Be it because of his nightly tour or the nightmares. The result was the same he was exhausted and yet unable to find a good night`s rest.

But yet again the sisters didn´t even notice his presence. They couldn´t see him suffering. (If you could count going to a bar as suffering). They said they needed more private life. Great – again! He was slowly working himself to death. A slow and painful death. He would die of sleep deprivation. But he could need all the time he got to find the threat on his own.

So he researched on his own in this bar. He got a lot of names of demons, lower and upper level ones, scary and normal ones, but none seemed to be THE threat.

And he hated to admit it. But the time down there was great. He enjoyed it more than the sisters´ attitude towards him. Although they were his family he preferred going out with demons, drinking with them, chatting with them sometimes even confiding in them. If only his Piper knew...

But she was dead. She died protecting him. He could still see her face in those last minutes of her life as he held her for dear life. She was...

Not now! No time for painful memories. He scolded himself for letting his thoughts drift down that road. A road that would end in self pity and tears. He had no time for tears or pity he needed to be strong!

He had a job to do: Save Wyatt! Protect the world – save dozens of lives and maybe make your own future not a living hell. If he even had one. He may have screwed with his very own existence. Another worry that had to be dealt with later, there was simply no time!

Yeah there was the spell he needed. A cloak spell for his blue orbs. Great. Sometimes he simply loved magic.

He casted it and sighed. Another long, long night lay ahead. On the one hand he loved spending time down there but on the other hand it did not really help him much up until now.

Maybe he should change tactic, search the underworld, torture demons, instead of chatting in a demonic bar... No... Not now. He made up his mind. This night he would go down there again. Even if it could be his last time. Tomorrow he could search elsewhere for now the bar had to suffice.

And with that he orbed down to the underworld. His mind was set but there was still this little worry in the back of his head that what he did now was not really helping at all...

It was the next morning. The sun was hiding behind clouds but the weather seemed fine. The newspaper was delivered to the Manor and everything seemed quiet just like a normal day.

Piper Halliwell was in her kitchen and finished preparing breakfast for what was left of her family. Her youngest sister Paige sat next to her at the table occasionally groaning.

Piper fed her son Wyatt while Paige was reading the newspaper. Wyatt sat happily in his highchair and Piper made flying sounds as she spoon fed him. She actually looked quite relaxed.

"Did you know that Phoebe and her column are on the first place again?" Paige asked as she came across the certain section in the newspaper. She looked up shortly to see if Piper was listening and had to smile at her little nephew.

"Really? No, I didn´t know. Here we go Wyatt!" Piper replied in a matter of fact voice and put a spoon in Wyatt´s open mouth.

The little boy squeaked and Piper beamed at him. She felt proud to be a mom of such a great kid.

"Do you know where Chris is? I haven´t seen him lately," Paige asked while she continued turning the pages. She sometimes stopped to read a short paragraph, smiled or shook her head and then went on reading. The mug of coffee next to her was also sometimes used.

"No, why do you ask?" Piper wondered and kept feeding Wyatt.

"Oh it´s just... err nothing," Paige stopped herself before she babbled out things that would upset Piper. She knew how well her sister responded to the topic 'neurotic little whitelighter from the future is missing again'.

"Paige?" Piper looked at her sister curiously. She wanted to know the reason why she would ask in the first place.

"Okay well, I wanted to ask him something," Paige began unsure. She stopped reading and looked up sheepishly.

"Something in something about the future?" Piper inquired with a small smile on her lips. She had thought that it was something important.

"NO!" Paige was quick to assure her. Piper saw her worry not affirmed as Paige quickly denied wanting to know any future information. She had just answered too swiftly for Piper`s liking. "Busted," she thought amused.

"So what else if not that?" Piper tried to keep her amusement out of her voice. She gave Wyatt another spoonful of his meal.

"Piper! I wanted to ask him a few questions," Paige replied on the defense. She could not believe that Piper thought that she tried to get knowledge about the future although she was dying to know more. Would it not be great to know when demons attack and when they had a weekend off?

"About what? Spill it lady!" Piper demanded. Paige was way too evasive.

"Okay but don´t be mad," Paige relented and hung her head actually lower. It seemed she was embarrassed.

"Paige!" Piper sighed. This was getting her nowhere but now her interest was in this.

"I want to know a few things about withlighter things," Paige muttered in a low voice. She did not meet Piper´s eyes.

"That´s it?" Piper asked incredulously. Why was Paige making such a deal out of it?

"Yeah that´s it," confirmed Paige and as she noticed that Piper was not yelling or anything she raised her head.

"Why the big drama?" Piper had to ask. Something felt off.

"Well, with all the Leo absence.. I don´t want you to have painful memories," Paige was again filled with uncertainty.

"That´s sweet Paige, but I´m okay," Piper said in a soft voice. She was touched by how much thoughts Paige was giving her breakup with Leo.

"Good, if you say so. So do you know where Chris is?" Paige was glad that Piper understood her point. Now she still needed to know where Chris was.

"No, maybe he´s in the attic," Piper supplied with a shrug while she kept feeding Wyatt.

"No, I already checked there. And he is also not at P3," Paige informed her and wrinkled her head in confusion and a slight bit of worry.

"Are you worrying? Maybe he is in the underworld," the way Piper said that implied that she could not care less.

"Maybe. But I called him and he didn´t come," Paige was not sure what it was but she knew something was wrong.

"Hm. Should I call him?" Piper could not see what Paige´s problem was.

"Yeah give it a try," Paige did not really believe that it would change anything. Yet she could not stop herself for getting her hopes up. She was burning to get some of her questions answered.

"Okay. Chris? ... Chrrrrrrrisssss? ... Chris come right here!" Piper yelled at the ceiling. She was already annoyed as he did not orb in a second later.

"See? I told you something isn´t right," Paige cut in urgently.

"Okay, that´s not normal. When did you see him for last time Paige?" Piper wondered why he still was not here. Normally he would be happy to come here and order them around.

"Err...well... I dunno," Paige stuttered in a voice full of guilt.

"What you don´t know? Try to remember!" Piper snapped at her for which she was immediately sorry. She had stopped to feed Wyatt and looked around with a worried gaze.

"Piper – when did you see him last time?" Paige asked her with an accusing tone.

"Yesterday...," Piper replied but trailed off immediately as she was not certain.

"And what did he do?" Paige knew that Piper was not sure when she had last seen Chris.

"Well... I dunno," Piper realized that she had no clue. She actually started to worry.

"Piper are you sure that you saw him yesterday?!" Paige could not believe her eyes. Did Piper really care that less?

"No," Piper admitted in a low voice, "But it isn´t like I´d keep track of it."

"Okay, that´s weird. He would already stand here and give us a lecture about danger and demons. There is something very wrong. You keep trying to call him. I call Phoebe!" Paige declared worried and stormed to the phone.

"Chris, can you hear me? Chris?" Piper shouted to the ceiling, she really hoped that he would orb in and tell them that he had been in the underworld and couldn´t get here asap. Wyatt sat nearby and squeaked happily. He didn´t notice the tension in the air.

Chris awoke to a pounding headache again. One that was more intense and more persistent than the last one. He could not easily push it to the back of his mind.

As he looked around him he began to worry. Nothing seemed familiar. He had no recollection of what had happened last. He had absolutely no clue about what was going on.

The last thought he had before darkness claimed him again was: "Where the hell am I?"

To be continued...

Please review: Do you like it? Hate it?

A/N: I tried to improve this chapter – fixed some typos and grammar mistakes, added some descriptions. I hope you approve of it!

Thanks for your feedback