Disclaimer: I don't know Gundam Wing.
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Love Me or Leave Me Alone
Part Five
By Loyce
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The sunlight beat down on her skin. The smell of coconuts lingered in the air. Overhead, the sea gulls cried before landing on the sand beside her. From behind her sunglasses, she watched the sandpipers run away from the rolling waves that crashed on the shore. Leaning back further into her lounge chair, Relena sighed. There was not another soul in sight; the beach was entirely hers. Closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of the waves pound against the sand. A distant noise drew her attention and she fought against it, but in the end she left herself falling back to reality and out of her wonderful dream.
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she tried to figure out what had woken her from her sleep. The setting sun had begun to cast vibrant hues of pink and purple into her room. 'I must have been more exhausted than I thought.' Relena dug her left arm into the soft mattress and pushed herself up, still confused as to what brought her out of her deep sleep.
"Kuso! Baka no neko!"
Whipping around on the bed, Relena saw Heero standing at the foot of her bed. One hand was covered in blood, while the other hand was gripping the back of Chaos' neck. Heero held the Chaos directly in front of his face as he continued to reprimand the kitten in Japanese.
"What did you do to him?" Relena yelled as she slid to the end of the bed and pulled Chaos from Heero's grasp. "Oh, you poor thing. You must be completely scared out of your mind." Carefully, she tucked the shaking kitten into her arm and held him tightly against her chest. She rubbed a hand up and down his tiny back, murmuring loving words.
Heero stood there completely dumbfounded. He had been the one attacked by that 'beast'; he even had the blood pouring down his wrist to prove it. From the safety of Relena's arms, he could almost swear that the cat was laughing at him.
Glaring at the pair, Heero spun on his heel and marched into Relena's bathroom. With his uninjured hand, he searched through the cabinets looking for anything that resembled a First Aid Kit. Relena's soft voice could still be heard talking to fur ball nestled in her arms. Sinking to his knees, Heero opened the door to the cabinet under the sink, but stopped to look over his shoulder, back into the bedroom. A low growl rumbled in the back of his throat as he realized that he was jealous of the kitten. He turned back to the duty at hand, moving the extra towels out of the way, his hand finally wrapped around the plastic box. As he pulled the kit out, he made a mental note to kill Duo for forgetting to mention Relena's new pet.
He pushed himself back on his feet, but didn't enter back into the bedroom right away. Instead, he leaned up against the doorframe and watched her play with the black ball of fluff in the dying light of the day. She had been asleep when he entered her room a few hours ago; her hair spread across the rose colored pillow. Her left ankle was encased in a small plastic cast, a pair of crutches laid on the floor. Even from a distance, he had been able to see the purple smudges under her eyes and his stomach had clenched knowing he was the main cause for her lack of sleep. He had made his way over to the plush chair in her room and sat, watching her lost in peaceful sleep. He didn't have the heart to wake her up, even if he had something to tell her.
The hours had passed and he had continued to watch over her as she shifted in her sleep. Each time, the breath would catch in his chest and he would mentally hope that she wouldn't wake up. He told himself that it was because she looked exhausted and needed her rest, but in the end, he knew that he was scared. Scared to face his feelings for her. However, a slight movement from under the bed caused him to rise out of his chair and investigate. Without disturbing Relena, he had lifted the bed skirt and peered into the darkness. What he thought to have been green marbles turned out to be the eyes of that tiny monster curled up on the bed with Relena and when he reached to grab them, he ended up being used as a scratching post.
"Before you bleed all over the carpet, come here so I can patch you up."
Heero shook his head. Her aquamarine eyes were narrowed as she regarded him. The tone of her voice had been the one she reserved for political debates. With heavy feet and a racing heart, he walked over to the bed. He wasn't the least bit surprised when the cat arched his back and hissed in his direction. He threw a glare at the kitten, to which the cat licked his paws and proceeded to bath himself, ignoring Heero all together.
She snickered. "I see you've met Chaos."
"That beast has a name?" Heero continued to look down at the cat, wondering if he had lost his touch with his patented glare.
"Hilde named him for me."
The bed gave way under his weight and Relena slid towards him, before pulling herself away. She grabbed the First Aid Kit from his hand and set it down between them. Heero's eyes widened as she fingered the bottle of iodine before she reached for the peroxide instead. Pulling out some cotton swabs, she dipped them into the clear liquid and then ran them across his open wounds. He hissed as the stinging sensation began when the peroxide bubbled on his skin.
"You're lucky I didn't use the iodine."
Her statement shocked him. He continued to watch the top of her head as she leaned over his hand, applying more of the dreaded liquid on the scratches. Relena shocked him even more when she gently blew on his wounds, helping to ease the stinging pain. His eyes drifted closed and he fought back the small groan the tried to push past his lips. It took him a moment to realize that she was smoothing antibiotic ointment on some of the deeper cuts on his hand and once he did, he shivered under her touch. Disappointment flooded through him as she let go of his hand and reached back into the blue box and pulled out some large band-aids.
"What happened?" He asked, as he motioned towards her injured ankle.
Relena's hands froze before the laid the last of the plastic band-aids over his cuts. She didn't answer him right away and Heero felt lost as he watched her clean up the trash that was scattered around the bedspread. Keeping her eyes averted from his, she finally answered his question.
"I tripped over Chaos while visiting the site of the new children's hospital on M-13. It's just a sprain, but I'll be on crutches for the next couple of weeks." Relena leaned over and scooped up Chaos in her arms. The kitten batted at a piece of stray hair that had fallen over her face, before looking at Heero and bearing his sharp teeth. He turned away from her and caught sight of something across the room.
Heero pushed off of the bed and stalked over to the vanity. Her bags were still packed, lying tossed right beside the door, but 'Zero' sat out on the vanity top, leaning up against the mirror. The sight of the bear unnerved him, knowing that the bear had been left behind on this past trip. Relena always carried the bear everywhere with her; the bear even slept with her at night, but apparently not any more. A frown marred his handsome features as he took hold of the worn bear. He stared down into its button eyes as he fingered the frayed red ribbon around its neck. Sighing, he carried 'Zero' back over to the bed with him. "Are you okay?" He asked, handing her the teddy bear.
Relena tentatively took the stuffed animal from him and sat it on the bed next to her. "I'm fine. But I doubt that I'll ever be able to get the hang of these crutches."
"How was your trip?" Heero asked, desperate to keep the lines of communication open between them.
Shrugging her shoulders, Relena gave him a quick report of all the occurrences and events that happened on her tour. As he listened to her recount everything, Heero felt more like he was at a Preventer briefing then sitting in the bedroom of the woman he loved. When she finished, they stared at each other, while a heavy silence hung between them. The palms of his hands were damp with sweat. He rubbed them on his pants, hoping she would see exactly how nervous he was.
He could tell she was waiting for him to speak, but he couldn't seem to find the correct words to start off the conversation. Heero had already tried idle chitchat; she hadn't been too responsive to the mention of her injury or her trip. How was he supposed to tell her that he loved her if she didn't want to even talk to him? Should he just come out and say the words she wanted to hear, the words that he wanted to tell her? No, he couldn't do that. She'd deny his feelings for her, saying they were born of guilt and nothing more. Sighing, he rubbed his bandaged hand through his unruly hair. He was used to making things up as he went, but this time he needed a plan.
Relena dropped her gaze to her folded hands and in a hushed voice she asked, "Heero, why are you here?"
The solid lump of some unnamed emotion lodged itself in his throat. It would have been so much easier if he would've been able to catch her in her office, when he hadn't thought about the whole thing. Maybe that was his problem. He'd been doing too much thinking and not enough feeling when it came to Relena.
"I asked you a question, Heero. I think I deserve an answer," she whispered, her eyes still focused on her lap.
Heero watched as she wrung her hands, and had to compel himself not to do the same. In all the years they had own each other, he'd never seen her this nervous or felt this nervous himself. He pulled his eyes away from her hands and ended up looking directly into her face. Heat rose into his cheeks and Heero was certain that he was blushing.
"I...That is..." He cleared his throat and continued. "Duo mentioned to me this morning that you'd had some problems on your trip..." Heero mentally kicked himself for not being able to get the rest of the sentence out before Relena interrupted.
"Well, as you can see, I'm perfectly fine."
He was being dismissed; plain and simple. With the straightening of her posture, to the tone of voice she was using, all signs pointed to the fact that she didn't want him there anymore. Shaking his head, Heero pushed off the bed and headed toward the balcony. About half across the room, he came to a complete stop. His hands fisted at his sides as he realized if he walked out that door, he'd be a coward; a 'chicken-shit'. Keeping his back to her, he began to speak.
"I had an interesting conversation with Duo earlier today."
"Why does that not surprise me?" Her voice held sarcasm when she answered him.
Heero turned around to see Relena still sitting in the same position on the bed. "Yeah, well he actually had some valid points in what he was talking about."
"Now, that surprises me."
Even though she didn't push the issue of what he and Duo had discussed, Heero continued talking. "A lot has happened to me in the past 12 hours. I've discovered some things..." At loss for words, he looked away from her, his profile silhouetted against the pale shades of dusk that poured into the room from the glass door behind him. "I meant what I said that night, about protecting you. I do it for so many different reasons, Relena. For the good of the future, for the good of peace..."
"What do any of those things have to do with us?" She yelled, causing him to spin around and face her. "We're talking about us, Heero. Not the rest of the world. Not the blasted ESUN, not even our friends. Us." She punctuated her statement by hitting the bed beside her with a small fist. Dropping her gaze from his, she turned her face away. "That's all I am to you, isn't it? A way to find and maintain peace. Just another assignment..."
"Damnit, Relena! I did it for my own selfish reasons too!" Heero watched as Relena visibly flinched at his unusual outburst. Drawing a heavy breath, he repeated himself. "I did it for myself; for...us." He closed his eyes and let his chin fall against his chest. "Relena, I've never been good at expressing my emotions, let alone speaking them out loud. If you could only read my mind, you'd be able to see what I can't seem to say."
Tears began to gather in Relena's eyes as she listened to his words. "But I can't read your mind, Heero. If I could, we wouldn't be caught in the mess we're in now." She sniffled. "I'm only going to ask you this one last time, Heero Yuy. Do you love me?"
Her tears were like a siren's song, drawing him toward her, knowing that things would never be the same at this moment. Walking back over to the bed, he dropped onto his knees in front of her and cupped her face between his hands. Heero stared deep into her eyes; as they swam in unshed tears. Absently, he stroked her full bottom lip, her warm breath tickling the pad of his thumb as she sighed. With his blue eyes locked onto hers, Heero answered, "Yes, I do."
A choked sob escaped passed her lips. "That's not enough." She used the back on her hand to wipe away some of the tears that had fallen down her pale cheeks. "I need to hear the words; just once. I'll never ask you to repeat them again, but please tell me the words."
Heero pulled her off the bed and into his arms. He sat on the thick carpeting with Relena cradled against his body. Moving some stray strands of hair out of her face, he leaned down next to her ear. She shivered as his breath played across the sensitive skin of her neck. Closing her eyes, Relena rested her forehead against his shoulder as he told her the three words she had been longing to hear; in seven different languages.
Relena placed her hands flat against his chest and pushed slightly away from him. In contradiction to the few tears hung to her thick eyelashes, a small smile crossed her lips. Her fingers toyed with the collar of his white T-shirt under his uniform jacket. "I didn't know you knew German."
"Ja, meine Liebe." Heero whispered into her hair. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and watched as Chaos jumped down from the bed and crawl his way into Relena's lap. Once again the kitten bared his fangs and hissed before taking a swipe at Heero. "Do you plan on keeping that little monster?"
She laughed as she scratched the bottom of the kitten's chin. "Yes, I plan on keeping him. If nothing else, he'll keep you in line." Relena lifted her gaze from the cat in her lap. Placing her hand on the side of his face, she caressed his cheek. "I love you, Heero."
Contentment washed over him as he looked down into her smiling face. An unspoken connection was made in that moment, and he knew she didn't need to hear the words as long as his love for her shone brightly in his eyes. She relaxed against him and lazily ran her fingers over Chaos' glossy coat. Against his neck, he heard Relena whisper, "Heero, one thing."
"What?" He asked as he threaded his fingers through her hair.
"Just remember who said it first."
~Fin~
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Love Me or Leave Me Alone
Part Five
By Loyce
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The sunlight beat down on her skin. The smell of coconuts lingered in the air. Overhead, the sea gulls cried before landing on the sand beside her. From behind her sunglasses, she watched the sandpipers run away from the rolling waves that crashed on the shore. Leaning back further into her lounge chair, Relena sighed. There was not another soul in sight; the beach was entirely hers. Closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of the waves pound against the sand. A distant noise drew her attention and she fought against it, but in the end she left herself falling back to reality and out of her wonderful dream.
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she tried to figure out what had woken her from her sleep. The setting sun had begun to cast vibrant hues of pink and purple into her room. 'I must have been more exhausted than I thought.' Relena dug her left arm into the soft mattress and pushed herself up, still confused as to what brought her out of her deep sleep.
"Kuso! Baka no neko!"
Whipping around on the bed, Relena saw Heero standing at the foot of her bed. One hand was covered in blood, while the other hand was gripping the back of Chaos' neck. Heero held the Chaos directly in front of his face as he continued to reprimand the kitten in Japanese.
"What did you do to him?" Relena yelled as she slid to the end of the bed and pulled Chaos from Heero's grasp. "Oh, you poor thing. You must be completely scared out of your mind." Carefully, she tucked the shaking kitten into her arm and held him tightly against her chest. She rubbed a hand up and down his tiny back, murmuring loving words.
Heero stood there completely dumbfounded. He had been the one attacked by that 'beast'; he even had the blood pouring down his wrist to prove it. From the safety of Relena's arms, he could almost swear that the cat was laughing at him.
Glaring at the pair, Heero spun on his heel and marched into Relena's bathroom. With his uninjured hand, he searched through the cabinets looking for anything that resembled a First Aid Kit. Relena's soft voice could still be heard talking to fur ball nestled in her arms. Sinking to his knees, Heero opened the door to the cabinet under the sink, but stopped to look over his shoulder, back into the bedroom. A low growl rumbled in the back of his throat as he realized that he was jealous of the kitten. He turned back to the duty at hand, moving the extra towels out of the way, his hand finally wrapped around the plastic box. As he pulled the kit out, he made a mental note to kill Duo for forgetting to mention Relena's new pet.
He pushed himself back on his feet, but didn't enter back into the bedroom right away. Instead, he leaned up against the doorframe and watched her play with the black ball of fluff in the dying light of the day. She had been asleep when he entered her room a few hours ago; her hair spread across the rose colored pillow. Her left ankle was encased in a small plastic cast, a pair of crutches laid on the floor. Even from a distance, he had been able to see the purple smudges under her eyes and his stomach had clenched knowing he was the main cause for her lack of sleep. He had made his way over to the plush chair in her room and sat, watching her lost in peaceful sleep. He didn't have the heart to wake her up, even if he had something to tell her.
The hours had passed and he had continued to watch over her as she shifted in her sleep. Each time, the breath would catch in his chest and he would mentally hope that she wouldn't wake up. He told himself that it was because she looked exhausted and needed her rest, but in the end, he knew that he was scared. Scared to face his feelings for her. However, a slight movement from under the bed caused him to rise out of his chair and investigate. Without disturbing Relena, he had lifted the bed skirt and peered into the darkness. What he thought to have been green marbles turned out to be the eyes of that tiny monster curled up on the bed with Relena and when he reached to grab them, he ended up being used as a scratching post.
"Before you bleed all over the carpet, come here so I can patch you up."
Heero shook his head. Her aquamarine eyes were narrowed as she regarded him. The tone of her voice had been the one she reserved for political debates. With heavy feet and a racing heart, he walked over to the bed. He wasn't the least bit surprised when the cat arched his back and hissed in his direction. He threw a glare at the kitten, to which the cat licked his paws and proceeded to bath himself, ignoring Heero all together.
She snickered. "I see you've met Chaos."
"That beast has a name?" Heero continued to look down at the cat, wondering if he had lost his touch with his patented glare.
"Hilde named him for me."
The bed gave way under his weight and Relena slid towards him, before pulling herself away. She grabbed the First Aid Kit from his hand and set it down between them. Heero's eyes widened as she fingered the bottle of iodine before she reached for the peroxide instead. Pulling out some cotton swabs, she dipped them into the clear liquid and then ran them across his open wounds. He hissed as the stinging sensation began when the peroxide bubbled on his skin.
"You're lucky I didn't use the iodine."
Her statement shocked him. He continued to watch the top of her head as she leaned over his hand, applying more of the dreaded liquid on the scratches. Relena shocked him even more when she gently blew on his wounds, helping to ease the stinging pain. His eyes drifted closed and he fought back the small groan the tried to push past his lips. It took him a moment to realize that she was smoothing antibiotic ointment on some of the deeper cuts on his hand and once he did, he shivered under her touch. Disappointment flooded through him as she let go of his hand and reached back into the blue box and pulled out some large band-aids.
"What happened?" He asked, as he motioned towards her injured ankle.
Relena's hands froze before the laid the last of the plastic band-aids over his cuts. She didn't answer him right away and Heero felt lost as he watched her clean up the trash that was scattered around the bedspread. Keeping her eyes averted from his, she finally answered his question.
"I tripped over Chaos while visiting the site of the new children's hospital on M-13. It's just a sprain, but I'll be on crutches for the next couple of weeks." Relena leaned over and scooped up Chaos in her arms. The kitten batted at a piece of stray hair that had fallen over her face, before looking at Heero and bearing his sharp teeth. He turned away from her and caught sight of something across the room.
Heero pushed off of the bed and stalked over to the vanity. Her bags were still packed, lying tossed right beside the door, but 'Zero' sat out on the vanity top, leaning up against the mirror. The sight of the bear unnerved him, knowing that the bear had been left behind on this past trip. Relena always carried the bear everywhere with her; the bear even slept with her at night, but apparently not any more. A frown marred his handsome features as he took hold of the worn bear. He stared down into its button eyes as he fingered the frayed red ribbon around its neck. Sighing, he carried 'Zero' back over to the bed with him. "Are you okay?" He asked, handing her the teddy bear.
Relena tentatively took the stuffed animal from him and sat it on the bed next to her. "I'm fine. But I doubt that I'll ever be able to get the hang of these crutches."
"How was your trip?" Heero asked, desperate to keep the lines of communication open between them.
Shrugging her shoulders, Relena gave him a quick report of all the occurrences and events that happened on her tour. As he listened to her recount everything, Heero felt more like he was at a Preventer briefing then sitting in the bedroom of the woman he loved. When she finished, they stared at each other, while a heavy silence hung between them. The palms of his hands were damp with sweat. He rubbed them on his pants, hoping she would see exactly how nervous he was.
He could tell she was waiting for him to speak, but he couldn't seem to find the correct words to start off the conversation. Heero had already tried idle chitchat; she hadn't been too responsive to the mention of her injury or her trip. How was he supposed to tell her that he loved her if she didn't want to even talk to him? Should he just come out and say the words she wanted to hear, the words that he wanted to tell her? No, he couldn't do that. She'd deny his feelings for her, saying they were born of guilt and nothing more. Sighing, he rubbed his bandaged hand through his unruly hair. He was used to making things up as he went, but this time he needed a plan.
Relena dropped her gaze to her folded hands and in a hushed voice she asked, "Heero, why are you here?"
The solid lump of some unnamed emotion lodged itself in his throat. It would have been so much easier if he would've been able to catch her in her office, when he hadn't thought about the whole thing. Maybe that was his problem. He'd been doing too much thinking and not enough feeling when it came to Relena.
"I asked you a question, Heero. I think I deserve an answer," she whispered, her eyes still focused on her lap.
Heero watched as she wrung her hands, and had to compel himself not to do the same. In all the years they had own each other, he'd never seen her this nervous or felt this nervous himself. He pulled his eyes away from her hands and ended up looking directly into her face. Heat rose into his cheeks and Heero was certain that he was blushing.
"I...That is..." He cleared his throat and continued. "Duo mentioned to me this morning that you'd had some problems on your trip..." Heero mentally kicked himself for not being able to get the rest of the sentence out before Relena interrupted.
"Well, as you can see, I'm perfectly fine."
He was being dismissed; plain and simple. With the straightening of her posture, to the tone of voice she was using, all signs pointed to the fact that she didn't want him there anymore. Shaking his head, Heero pushed off the bed and headed toward the balcony. About half across the room, he came to a complete stop. His hands fisted at his sides as he realized if he walked out that door, he'd be a coward; a 'chicken-shit'. Keeping his back to her, he began to speak.
"I had an interesting conversation with Duo earlier today."
"Why does that not surprise me?" Her voice held sarcasm when she answered him.
Heero turned around to see Relena still sitting in the same position on the bed. "Yeah, well he actually had some valid points in what he was talking about."
"Now, that surprises me."
Even though she didn't push the issue of what he and Duo had discussed, Heero continued talking. "A lot has happened to me in the past 12 hours. I've discovered some things..." At loss for words, he looked away from her, his profile silhouetted against the pale shades of dusk that poured into the room from the glass door behind him. "I meant what I said that night, about protecting you. I do it for so many different reasons, Relena. For the good of the future, for the good of peace..."
"What do any of those things have to do with us?" She yelled, causing him to spin around and face her. "We're talking about us, Heero. Not the rest of the world. Not the blasted ESUN, not even our friends. Us." She punctuated her statement by hitting the bed beside her with a small fist. Dropping her gaze from his, she turned her face away. "That's all I am to you, isn't it? A way to find and maintain peace. Just another assignment..."
"Damnit, Relena! I did it for my own selfish reasons too!" Heero watched as Relena visibly flinched at his unusual outburst. Drawing a heavy breath, he repeated himself. "I did it for myself; for...us." He closed his eyes and let his chin fall against his chest. "Relena, I've never been good at expressing my emotions, let alone speaking them out loud. If you could only read my mind, you'd be able to see what I can't seem to say."
Tears began to gather in Relena's eyes as she listened to his words. "But I can't read your mind, Heero. If I could, we wouldn't be caught in the mess we're in now." She sniffled. "I'm only going to ask you this one last time, Heero Yuy. Do you love me?"
Her tears were like a siren's song, drawing him toward her, knowing that things would never be the same at this moment. Walking back over to the bed, he dropped onto his knees in front of her and cupped her face between his hands. Heero stared deep into her eyes; as they swam in unshed tears. Absently, he stroked her full bottom lip, her warm breath tickling the pad of his thumb as she sighed. With his blue eyes locked onto hers, Heero answered, "Yes, I do."
A choked sob escaped passed her lips. "That's not enough." She used the back on her hand to wipe away some of the tears that had fallen down her pale cheeks. "I need to hear the words; just once. I'll never ask you to repeat them again, but please tell me the words."
Heero pulled her off the bed and into his arms. He sat on the thick carpeting with Relena cradled against his body. Moving some stray strands of hair out of her face, he leaned down next to her ear. She shivered as his breath played across the sensitive skin of her neck. Closing her eyes, Relena rested her forehead against his shoulder as he told her the three words she had been longing to hear; in seven different languages.
Relena placed her hands flat against his chest and pushed slightly away from him. In contradiction to the few tears hung to her thick eyelashes, a small smile crossed her lips. Her fingers toyed with the collar of his white T-shirt under his uniform jacket. "I didn't know you knew German."
"Ja, meine Liebe." Heero whispered into her hair. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and watched as Chaos jumped down from the bed and crawl his way into Relena's lap. Once again the kitten bared his fangs and hissed before taking a swipe at Heero. "Do you plan on keeping that little monster?"
She laughed as she scratched the bottom of the kitten's chin. "Yes, I plan on keeping him. If nothing else, he'll keep you in line." Relena lifted her gaze from the cat in her lap. Placing her hand on the side of his face, she caressed his cheek. "I love you, Heero."
Contentment washed over him as he looked down into her smiling face. An unspoken connection was made in that moment, and he knew she didn't need to hear the words as long as his love for her shone brightly in his eyes. She relaxed against him and lazily ran her fingers over Chaos' glossy coat. Against his neck, he heard Relena whisper, "Heero, one thing."
"What?" He asked as he threaded his fingers through her hair.
"Just remember who said it first."
~Fin~