Spoilers: Chapter 63

Pairings: None

Author's Note: I had way too much fun writing this, I must admit. I've never actually written much about Ed's view of his relationship with Mustang, but I've discovered it's quite fun to write

This is the last one I've had an idea for. I am still open to suggestions for pairs of people to write about, and circumstances for those pairs. If I write more, I'll see you next time. If not, thanks for reading!

Written on request for Syolen (your line: FINALLY!!)

Oh great, here I go... There was a day I realized I don't want you to die.

First, let me set a few things straight. I am not going to say this out loud to you. Ever. This does not mean I'm going to stop annoying you whenever possible, because you're still a stupid, idiot Colonel, and I doubt that will ever change. So don't go lording this over me. Got that? Good.

Here's how it goes. I borrowed some change from you (520 cenz, as you ever so kindly reminded me), and later you demanded I give it back to you. Idiot, you're trying to become Fuhrer, aren't you? How on earth is 520 cenz that important?!

Anyway, I counted out the money since I'd just been to the bank the day before, but as I stared at the little silver-colored coins in my palm, I thought about your big-shot ambitions. I'd just recently learned of them from First Lieutenant Hawkeye, and I'll admit they made a lot of things plainer. We disagree on...well, just about everything, but this was one thing I agreed with wholeheartedly. You want to become the Fuhrer, and it actually has nothing to do with a lust for power. Strange, you seem exactly the type to covet such a position for selfish reasons, but your reasons are anything but selfish. It's not that you want to lord over other people and make their lives miserable – though you do plenty of that now, I must say. You want to become Fuhrer so you can help other people, protect those who can't protect themselves. And that's exactly the type of leader this country needs.

Okay, all right, fine. I'll admit it. When I heard why it was you wanted to become Fuhrer, I felt respect for you. Happy now? Gonna lord it over me some more? Just because I respect you (a little bit) doesn't mean I have to like you! I still hate the sight of your face, I'll have you know.

Back to the story! I looked at the coins in my palm, thought about your ambitions, and I thought of what Lieutenant Hawkeye had said once her tale was done. She said it would be a good thing to change this country from a military state to a peaceful country, but if that happened you and many other soldiers could legitimately be executed as mass murderers. How unjust. I understand why you could be executed, but as I said to Lieutenant Hawkeye, you people should care a bit more about your own happiness, too. If you did, you'd actually be ensuring the happiness of a bunch of other people. Okay, myself included.

I wouldn't miss your self-satisfied smirk, that's for sure, but I realized as I stared at the coins that I'd miss a few other things about you if you died. They're stupid things to miss about someone, but...dare I say...stupidity flourishes around you. At the cost of sounding incredibly lame, I think I'd miss your stupid voice – insults, 'short' comments, and all – the most. It's become a familiar voice in the past few years, and it's a bit nicer listening to your voice than the voices of some other people I could name. I'll give you that much, at least. In a world of conniving, depraved adults, it's nice to know one man that I can...well, trust, I guess. I know that you care way too much about your subordinates for your own good, and while it might be foolish, it's essential for your goals. And...it's kind of a comfort, seeing how I'm under you and everything.

I keep on rambling off in weird directions, so I'll get to the point. I realized I don't want you to die before reaching your goal of becoming Fuhrer. And so I kept the debt I owe to you. If 520 cenz is that important to you, maybe it'll keep you alive a little longer. I don't know what lies on the path ahead of us, but always remember this: The ruder you are, the luckier you are. So keep insulting me, you stupid idiot Colonel.