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CHAPTER NINETEEN:

"It took not a minute for my former friends to see me; however, it took slightly longer for them to recognize me. I hadn't realized just how much my appearance had changed from a year ago until I then saw the initial look of vacuity in Ned's eyes when he looked at me.

I had, a few months prior, exchanged my gargantuan circular glasses that matched up precisely with the size of my eyes for a pair of cooler, smaller, thicker, square frames. I had liked my spiked hair style from my first night with John so much that I now wore it like that every day; my fashion sense had gone from preppy to radical; and of course, I probably looked as drunk and stoned as I felt. It wasn't really a wonder why Ned didn't recognize me immediately, but I still was taken by surprise by his blankness.

It was actually Helen who recognized me firstly. Her oval-shaped eyeballs practically bulged out of her face at the sight of me, and even more at the sight of my hand entangled with John's. She immediately nudged Timothy and directed his gaze to me as well, and of course, Ned and Margery followed suit to find out at what they were staring.

I pulled my hand away from John's instinctively, and I didn't want or turn to see the confused and hurt look he probably gave me afterward. The moment after—just spent staring into the faces those whom I used to spend my life with—was one of stark surrealism. Finally, I spoke, and offered a meek "hello", not knowing what else to do.

They were all silent, and I grew angry that they wouldn't even offer me a measly greeting, but then Ned suddenly rose from his chair, walked over to where I was standing, and embraced me. I was…shocked, to say the least. I had missed hugging him so badly, and from the desperate sadness in his embrace, I knew he had missed it too.

Before I could begin to dread the reactions of Timothy, Helen, and John that were sure to come, Ned ended our contact and resumed his stare, finally speaking: 'Waylon? Is that really you?'

'Yes, it's me. I guess you should be thankful that you didn't just hug a stranger,' I replied, even though I felt like I was now just a much a stranger to Ned as the next guy.

Ned couldn't even smile at my little attempt at humor. 'Waylon...How could you leave like you did? And why did you never call? Your parents were devastated! They've been sick with worry!'

I scoffed. 'Give me a break, Ned. My parents probably hosted the party of the year after discovering my disappearance.'

'You seriously think that? Waylon, they've been heartbroken!'

'Shut the fuck up, Ned! I know you're lying to me! Fuck!' I shouted, my head growing dizzy.

Ned, Timothy, and Helen let out an undivided gasp at my vulgarity and anger. I tried to calm myself, and tried again: 'I mean…Ned…don't lie to me. Why would you say something like you did? You know…you know it could get my hopes up and…lying to me is…my parents, they would never, they'd celebrate, and what do you want by saying that?'

'Waylon, are you drunk?' Ned asked sadly upon hearing my nonsensical rambling.

'So what if I am? You're a…liar, and that's worse, I think.'

Timothy finally stepped up and intercepted, 'And you're a sinning, blasphemy-spouting fag, in addition to being a worthless drunk, so don't act like the victim here.' He then turned to Ned and said, 'Come on, Ned. He can't understand you anyway. Let's leave.'

'I can too understand him, but I don't like what he's selling!' I defended. 'If my parents actually gave a shit about me, they'd have called the…the police, sent out a search party, something! Fuck, you think I'll…believe that they were devastated?' Then, although I knew I really shouldn't have, I decided to provoke them all by adding, 'That's about as fake and pathetic a claim as that of your God existing.'

Timothy was furious, obviously, and I expected a punch or two, but he remained composed and said, 'Waylon, I think you may very well be the devil himself.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, I'd rather be the devil himself and be judged rightly for my sins than be a wrathful God praised by mindless idiots for a compassion and wisdom he doesn't have.'

Now Timothy stepped forward a bit, fists clenched, and Ned was once again in the middle of us. Margery and Helen stood in the background; Helen looking fearful for her beau, and Marge just looking fearful in general. I wondered whom she would be rooting for if Timothy and I were to actually fight. But before I could find out, Ned spoke: 'Please, guys, you don't have to do this. We can just leave, Waylon, and you can have your peace. This is your town, and we'll just leave, that's all. Okay? No fighting.'

'That's all? Don't you want to know what's been going on in my life? Why I left?' I asked.

Ned said, 'I do, but you don't seem inclined to tell me. And I really think that we should leave before anyone gets hurt.'

I shook my head and looked to the ground. 'It's too late for that, Ned.'

Ned stood still beside me, seemingly having much to say but not saying it. Timothy backed away from us, took Helen's hand aggressively, and began to lead her and Margery out the door. He turned back to me once more and said, 'Stay out of Springfield, Smithers. If you know what's good for you, although apparently you don't. But I swear to God Almighty that if you come back, I will personally do God's deed and take you and your demon-infested soul down. I swear I will.'

He then left, with a still scared Helen lagging behind. Margery stood in the doorway, and I suddenly hated more than anything—more than Timothy, more than God—that she was seeing me like this. She looked away and followed her so-called friends.

Only Ned, John, and Edna were left with me. John and Edna had vanished to the background the moment I began talking to Timothy and stayed there, even though he was gone.

Ned said softly, 'Waylon, I know I said we would leave this town, but the truth is that we will be here for a few days for the Academic Bowl Championship. The Bowl is in the town of Harrison…I just thought you should know, in case you want to avoid going there for a while.'

'Thanks.'

'No problem. Um…I guess I should go too, then,' he uttered. 'Unless you did want to talk to me.'

I hesitated. More than anything, I wanted and actually needed to talk to Ned, but of course, I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. 'No. No, you should leave. Go be with your friends.'

'But you're my friend too, Waylon.'

'No, I'm not. Let's just face it, Ned. You never wanted to be my friend, and…' I took a deep breath before telling the biggest lie I had ever told. 'And you never really were.'"