A/n hey all here's the last vignette. The last year has been a wild ride with this collection. Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, and adding this to your alerts and favorites. Thanks as well to my wonderful beta, REIDFANATIC for all of her help and support. You've all been great.
Disclaimer: See my profile, please.
The ending is the beginning.
"If anyone knows just cause why these two should not be married, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace."
The voice of the minister at the altar was quiet, almost soothing in the church. Most of the congregation was silent, with the exception of a few small children and several cooing babies. It was hot… much hotter than he'd imagined it would be, sitting there next to Morgan.
The flowers were all white, with white ribbons tying them together and hung on the sides of the pews. There were bunches of white roses and lilies at the altar, and in the hands of the bridal party. It was solid, unrelieved white that seared the eye.
He wanted to stand up and scream all the reasons she couldn't marry this man. He wanted to make her understand that it was a mistake, that she was screwing it up for all of them. He wanted to tell everyone that she really loved him, not the man standing there facing her with her hands in his. He wanted to run far away, but he'd promised her he'd stay, that he'd watch her marry another man. She didn't know that she was breaking - no - shattering his heart because he'd never told her.
The minister continued the ceremony, and all Reid could do was sit there next to a friend and watch her marry William La Montaigne.
The smell of the flowers was cloying, as though they were at a funeral instead of a wedding. He admitted that they were beautiful and matched JJ's gown perfectly, but they were so heavily perfumed it was making him ill.
She looked so beautiful, even more beautiful now that she was pregnant. Oh God… she was pregnant… The baby belonged to the two of them in front of the minister, not to him and her. It wasn't right... There was something that was very wrong, and he couldn't figure out what it was.
"… I now pronounce you husband and wife…" Reid heard the minister say. "You may kiss the bride."
Oh how he wanted to be the one that was standing up there with her! He wanted to taste the honey of her lips on his and know that she was his forever. It couldn't be though, she was Will's now. It was too late for him to fix it. He was going to have to let it go and settle for seeing her at work every day. Wait… what if she decided to quit working for the BAU? He wouldn't blame her if she did… It was no life for a family.
Everyone was standing around him and Morgan jammed an elbow into his side. "Get up…" he hissed at Reid. His dark eyes were full of questions Reid couldn't, and wouldn't answer for him. He stood up and watched JJ and William walk back down the aisle of the church. He felt faint as though a loose surge of adrenaline was firing through his blood. It made him light-headed and his heart pound like a runaway freight train.
Everyone was clapping and he clapped, his hands feeling numb, and as though they weren't connected to his wrists. For the first time in months, he felt an overwhelming urge to find a needle and…
"Hey… wake up Reid, what's the matter with you?" Morgan hissed in his ear.
"N - Nothing…" He stuttered and followed Morgan out of the church.
Emily and Penelope were waiting for them with Hotch and Rossi. They were all cheering the couple, as though they were happy for them. Reid supposed that they were and he was the only one that wasn't thrilled for their media liaison.
--
The reception was long and tedious. The music was supposed to be happy and joyful, but it was only a funeral dirge for Reid. He put on a happy face though. It was something that he'd gotten very good at doing since his father left.
He danced with Penelope. She didn't seem to notice that anything was bothering him. She made him get out there, and just let go and get wild which was okay with him. He didn't want to see JJ, or her new husband, or anything they were doing.
He danced with Emily, and with one of JJ's cousins, before fleeing out of the reception hall to the spring night. The cousin had looked like JJ when he'd first met her. She was bubbly like JJ and talked his ear off. She flirted with him, but he ignored it. How could he look at someone else when he wanted what he couldn't have because he'd been a coward?
"Hey Spence…"
Oh god… she was out here too. What was she doing out here on the porch that ran the length of the red brick building. The sky was going from dark blue, to purple and a couple of stars were visible. The perfume of the roses, and the lilies, and carnations was muted out here. It got caught on the wind and blew away like his hope with her.
"Ah hi JJ… Where's Will…" He asked knowing that it was polite to ask.
"He's inside dancing with his mother. I saw you dancing with Sarah and the girls. I wondered if you would dance with me."
He finally turned around and looked into those beautiful blue eyes that he couldn't say no to. She wore a white silk gown that had a high empire waist and was embroidered with crystal tear drops along the long sleeves and the hem of the gown. The square neck made her look like a medieval princess. She wore a long lacy veil, and matching tear drop earrings and pendant at her throat. She smiled at him and tears began collecting in his eyes. He kept them back with a huge effort and managed to smile for her.
"Yeah… I'll dance with you.
Penelope had taught him to dance for the wedding so that he didn't make an ass of himself in front of all of JJ and William's family. The music was something soft and slow that he didn't recognize and holding her in his arms was agony. She smelled of some subtle perfume that reminded him of late night trips on the jet coming home from some horrible case. It was like vanilla and it was intoxicating.
"Sarah was asking about you." JJ said with a grin when he pulled back away from her scent.
"Oh…"
"Yeah… she thinks you're cute."
"Look JJ I don't think that I -"
"Don't get nervous… I told her you were taken already."
He stopped and stepped back in surprise. "But JJ I -"
"I told her that you were dating someone that you won't tell us about at work. Morgan was the one that told me. He said you're very mysterious about her."
"JJ I have to tell you something…" He made himself take her back into his arms and start dancing again.
"Sure Spence… You know you can tell me anything."
They were revolving in a slow circle, and the music seemed to get slower and slower, and softer and softer with every step they took around the other guests.
"I... We'll I just wanted to say… I… Well I guess that now is a very bad time. I should just go and -"
She interrupted him by gasping in surprise and a large grin covered her beautiful face. "JJ… what is it? What happened, are you okay?
"Yeah… the baby kicked…" She said grabbing his hand and holding over the small bump in her belly. She was just going on five months pregnant and it barely showed with the style of gown that she wore.
"JJ… don't you think you should get William." He squeaked.
The feeling of the small creature growing inside of her suddenly made all of this real for him as it never had been. She was lost to him and belonged to another man. She was going to have another man's baby and he'd better get used to it, or he would die alone and bitter.
The fluttering under his hand made the tears rise up so that he couldn't stop them and they fell over and dropped onto the hard wood floor under his feet. JJ didn't notice. She kissed his cheek and left him to go get William. Reid fled, ignoring Hotch and Morgan who ran after him, but Rossi stopped them.
"Let him go… He has to deal with this alone."
--
When JJ left two months later, he wasn't surprised. She'd been offered a position in DC at the Federal Building. She promised to keep in touch. After all, they would still be working for the FBI, but she would be able to stay at home more with her child and her husband.
The last day at Quantico was never ending for him. It took all of his strength to smile and pretend like it didn't matter to him that she was leaving. Yeah… she'd still be living in the same city, but it wasn't the same. It would never be the same again. It was finally for all time over. He hoped that their paths never crossed again. He wanted to be selfish and never see her again, if it meant that she was with Will and happy.
They had cake and they had the usual gifts and decorations. William was there with them and made it impossible for Reid to say a private goodbye. He was glad. He didn't want to hear her say that it was going to be okay.
The party wound down after two agonizing hours. They walked with JJ and Will to the elevator. He watched Penelope hug her "Sunshine," and cry on her shoulder. Emily hugged her too. Hotch didn't, but he shook her hand and then William's hand. Reid quit watching her say goodbye and concentrated on trying to fade away into the background. JJ had a way of forgetting that he was there. Perhaps if he was lucky she would forget this time and just leave. Maybe when she was finally gone, the feel of the baby kicking that was on his hand, would finally go away. How many times had he washed his hands hoping to make that sensation leave his flesh?
"Reid…" She was there in front of him and he had to hug her.
He had to embrace her in front of all of them again, just like when William told them she was pregnant and he'd asked her to marry him. That same despair had overwhelmed him then, was back in his gut now, making him sick.
"I'll call you when were settled." She was saying.
"Okay…" He heard his own voice say back to her.
"Goodbye Spence…"
"Goodbye…" He said in a hollow voice.
The doors to the elevator opened and she entered with William and everything slowed down. Her eyes found his and the door began to close. His heart gave a huge thump and he screamed over the voices of the others.
"Don't go JJ… Please don't leave… I love you JJ!"
His eyes opened with a snap and he jerked away from the hand on his shoulder. The light of the bedside table illuminated the large blue eyes that he loved.
"Spence…." She looked terrified and he drew her close to hold onto her.
"I was so afraid!" He said into her shoulder.
"Why, what happened baby? Why are you shaking?"
He pulled away from her and looked at her like he hadn't seen her in years. "I thought you left."
"No baby, I'm right here." She caressed her stomach. Their little girl grew there, and it was his daughter, he remembered, now that the light of the lamp was shinning in her hair.
"I had a terrible nightmare." He said.
He told her everything while she pulled him back into her arms and tangled her hands in this hair. "I can't believe that you thought I would marry someone I only met once. Why would I do that?"
He explained to her that in the dream she had a secret relationship with William that no one knew about, or was supposed to know about till she got pregnant.
"That's absurd Spence. Why would I do that when I love you? You're right here in front of me, and I'm never leaving you…"
"I know. I guess it must be the coming of the baby. I didn't realize how nervous I am."
"Is that the psychologist in you talking?" She wondered.
"That's my story and I'm sticking to it." He said with a smile and kissed her.
"Okay… Now, lie down and sleep… Tomorrow is soon enough to think about what's to come.
THE END
A/n yeah... now this is the way it should go. Lets make season three a dream and get rid of William. I mean, the show has turned into a soap opera with JJ's pregnancy, so why not go all the way. Yeah... I know... I'm the one that's dreaming now.