Ross sighed deeply as he collapsed onto the mahogany park bench. He rubbed a hand over his face and slouched against the hard wood. He let his brown eyes roam over the scenes before him, just for something to do… for a distraction.

Of all the people bustling past, of all the proud peacocks strolling around, his eyes fell upon one person in particular- a small, blond boy, innocently licking a strawberry ice cream so that it splashed all over his chin. He didn't pause to wipe it away, just continued to slurp it up happily. Standing at his side was his rather distracted mother, searching in her handbag for something. After a few seconds of rummaging, she looked up, appeared to see something in the distance and closed her handbag. A tall man approached the pair with a handful of serviettes. He crouched down and began wiping his son's (as Ross assumed this man was his father) face. The little boy protested slightly before consenting to being cleaned. His father stood up and ruffled the boy's hair as he continued eating the ice cream.

'He's just going to get messy again…' Ross heard the mother's voice faintly carry across to his ears.

Ross felt the bench creak slightly as someone sat by his side.

'Well, as long as you're having a good time,' he heard Chandler mutter sarcastically. Ross turned to face him. 'We were all dragged out here for you, you know,' Chandler continued. Ross nodded his head once.

'I know… I just… Why the zoo?'

'We know how much you like monkeys,' Chandler answered. Ross raised his eyebrows and Chandler shrugged. 'Okay, so Monica made us. I think she's running out of ideas.'

'I know she's just trying to be nice, but… I don't need cheering up!' Ross said. 'I'm perfectly happy wallowing in my own misery while my pregnant lesbian ex-wife is off with her lover.'

Chandler looked at Ross as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

'Okay, I'm not fine. I'll get over it- really,' Ross added.

'Whatever you say, man,' Chandler settled back onto the bench, arms behind his head, letting the sun wash over his face. He closed his eyes.

'Where is everybody else?' Ross asked. Chandler cracked open one eye.

'Joey's in the adventure playground terrifying small children in his attempts to climb the fireman's pole, Phoebe's trying to get over her phobia of snakes by hanging in the reptile house and Monica and Rachel were talking to some zoo keeper guy. I think Rachel's trying to get his number.' Chandler noticed Ross scowl. 'If it's any consolation, I think the guy was more interested in baboons than Rachel.'

'Why would that be consolation?' Ross said defensively, spitting slightly as he spoke. 'I mean, I don't need consolation. Rachel's free to go out with any guy she likes.'

'You just wish it was you,' Chandler pointed out.

'Yeah,' Ross sighed, admitting defeat as he did so. Chandler sat up straight again.

'Just get over yourself and ask her. Or somebody else- anything to help you get over Carol and stop moping about.'

'I am over Carol,' Ross insisted. Chandler laughed dryly.

'Sure- that blonde there who does she remind you of?'

Ross tilted his head a bit to look at the back of the woman Chandler had pointed at. She was standing in front of a cage containing some colourful and chirpy parrots.

'Your mom,' he said, despite remembering a certain lesbian with a similar figure and hair. Nora Bing was the only other blond he could think of.

'Yeah, I kind of see where you're coming from…' Chandler said. 'But, I'd also rather you didn't think of my mom in that way. I also think that's not who you really thought of.'

'What's your point?'

'What's my point?' Chandler asked, standing up in desperation to prove his point. He wanted the old Ross back, the one he occasionally caught glimpses of on a good day- until he picked up a can of Carol's favourite beer, or saw Rachel being overly friendly to another guy. 'My point is, Ross, that you'll never know what could happen until you do something to make it happen! Okay, so what I just said was confusing but it made sense in my head…' He finished on a quieter note, trailing off.

He had waved his arms around as he spoke, attracting the attention of passers-by. He sat down again, facing sideways to see Ross as he continued, in a softer tone. 'Carol's gone. You know that, you just have to accept it. But, Rachel's here, right where you are. In the words of Joey- and some of the wisest he has ever spoken- grab a spoon!'

'I did grab a spoon!' Ross protested.

'Yeah, what was it you said again? Oh yeah, "Would it be alright if I asked you out sometime?" Something like that, right?'

'I had good intentions!' Ross continued to protest. 'I just… didn't know how to follow them through,' he finished weakly.

Chandler put his head in his hands. 'You think I know how to follow through? Do you think many guys do?'

'I know you don't,' Ross jabbed. Chandler looked up at him.

'Fair point.'

'I want to try with Rachel- or anyone- I really do. It's just… I can't face getting hurt like I did with Carol. Seven years we were together… that was just the pain building up. I just didn't know it was there until she told me that she didn't love me anymore.'

Chandler was now looking at Ross with a mix of pity and awkwardness on his face. The feelings Ross was telling him about were pretty deep.

'At least you had her for those seven years. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, right?'

'Not if it hurts this much.'

'Look at it this way- you loved and lost, like loads of other people. That leaves you right where you are now. Then, there's me. I've never loved anyone and I'm sure no one has ever loved me. Who would you rather be, huh? You or me?'

'Well, when you put it that way,' Ross said, with a faint smile. 'But-,'

'You're still not getting it!' Chandler exploded, returning to his standing position. Trying to get through to Ross was like trying to break a brick with an egg. And Chandler had thought that he'd been close. 'It's like…' He grasped vainly at any stream of thought that could make a point to Ross. A point that he'd understand. 'See this peacock,' he said, gesturing at a curious peacock who had wandered close to their bench. It was about two metres away from them, tail feathers opened out like a magnificent emerald fan. 'He's proud; he stands out from the rest of the birds, like he knows what he's doing. Then there's the-,'

But Ross never quite knew what bird Chandler was going to compare next in his bizarre take on life, for at that moment, as Chandler gestured wildly with his arm, he caught the glittering peacock on the head with the back of his hand. The peacock was not best pleased. It squawked loudly and launched itself at Chandler, pecking his legs furiously.

Ross was too shocked to do anything. He could have laughed at his best friend's predicament, caught, spluttering, between a wild peacock and a metal cage full of excited budgies that twittered and zoomed around in circles.

The peacock bit Chandler's hand and he yelped loudly before backing away down the path. The peacock threatened to follow and did so for a couple of yards. Chandler tried to catch Ross's eye, but Ross was now pretending that he didn't know Chandler, who was the focal point of a loud and embarrassing scene.

'What're you doing to the poor creature?' A zookeeper asked Chandler angrily as he raced over to calm the bird.

'He-he started it!' Chandler claimed, blood running down his palm. The zookeeper wheeled on Chandler.

'I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave,' he said, not keeping the anger out of his voice. He didn't sound sorry at all.

'Gladly,' Chandler retorted. 'I was never a fan of psychotic birds anyway.'

He stalked off, clutching his bleeding right hand in his left. Ross waited a few seconds before getting up to catch up with him.

'Enjoyed the show did you?' Chandler snarled. 'You could've helped, you know.'

'Yeah, but I didn't want to become part of the carnage. That thing could've taken you out!' Ross laughed.

'Well, at least it amused someone.'

'I don't think it did much to help prove your point though,' Ross said.

'I'm not sure what point I was trying to make anyway.'

'Chandler?'

'What?'

'I… What you were saying… thanks.'

Chandler grinned. 'Anytime. Now, let's get out of here, I can see a pigeon and it looks pretty ticked off.'