Haunted Jaded Eyes

Chapter 63

Severus could not wait until the end of this school year, ever since Harry had gone 'missing' he was being called near every evening by the Dark Lord. By the time he returned to Hogwarts…he was in severe pain and after consuming his potions he was out like a light, making it impossible for him to visit Harry in the chamber. He was not allowing his husband to see the state he was getting into due to his 'disappearance' as it were. He knew regardless of what he said, it would be another guilt that Harry heaped upon his person.

Harry was much more confident these days, after having someone to truly rely on, lean on in times of great uncertainty. Between him and the founders as well as his friends he was sure, Harry's confidence had skyrocketed, he was no longer putting on a confident front, but actually felt it. It may well have something to do with age, Harry wasn't an insecure teenager anymore, he was a full blown adult wizard, soon to reach twenty even if he was still considered seventeen by the magical world.

"Any news Severussss?" came the hissing voice of the Dark Lord singling out the Potions Master and Professor of Potion at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"No, My Lord," Severus murmured subserviently, meanwhile barely refraining from gritting his teeth. For some reason the Dark Lord was paranoid that it was a move against him, and was seeking out answers. So much so that all he was doing was sending out his Death Eaters to seek Potter and bring him back alive. "Nobody in Hogwarts has seen or heard from the brat,"

It had been an entire month, and it had been radio silent, nobody had found hide nor hair of him. Expectedly so, since he was currently in the chamber of secrets, with only Remus and Dobby for company. Growing rounder with his child every day, and Severus wasn't getting to be a part of that.

"I find that hard to believe, Potter is close to Granger and Weasley," Lucius drawled, sneering at Severus, doing all he could to redirect the Dark Lord's ire onto someone else, trying to save Narcissa the horror of him returning home tortured. "I don't believe the boy is farther than a mile from their location."

Severus stared blankly at the Dark Lord, not even gifting Lucius with a glance. He was quite correct, for all the wrong reasons. Not that he would ever find out about that of course. "Granger and Weasley are much too panicked and worried for it to be feigned, Weasley's too emotional to be able to lie to anyone, let alone me." Severus replied, barely refraining from rolling his eyes, "They've been joining the searches for him, a wasted time, the brat isn't in Hogwarts." mentally apologising to his husband. He was quite frankly getting sick and tired of having to repeat himself so much. Not that it mattered how many times he repeated himself, the Dark Lord was just looking for someone to take his darkening mood out on, and it just happened to be them that suffered.

It was like he was in an endless loop, revisiting the same day over and over again. Only he knew he wasn't, the days were still going by, he was just beginning to suffer the madness of doing the same thing every day and praying for different results. As of yet, no results had been different.

He just wanted to see his husband and ensure all was well with their child. All he had to sate him was the letters that randomly came up, sometimes three times a day, sometimes only one. Those letters were a lifeline, that and the founders telling him about Harry's day and what he was doing.

None of this showed on Severus' face as he kept his occlumency shield's at full power. All memories of Harry and him safely tucked away in his memory palace, keeping him safe even if anything happened to his mental shields. If he was found out as a spy, then he wanted to ensure that the bastard didn't get much of anything out of him. Or worse get any of Harry's plans.

Not that they had actually made any end plans, their child had been their first priority. Once the baby was born, they'd no doubt get into a final plan to end the Dark Lord once and for all.

"What of the Aurors search for the boy?" Voldemort's demand came next, clearly having no use for Severus' service.

Severus didn't so much as twitch, remain passive just like the rest of the Death Eaters. It used to be terrifying spying on the Dark Lord for the light side. He had been grateful it had only been well, less than a year before he was defeated at great personal cost. Everything in him had rebelled at the thought of going back three years ago. Now though? He was petrified, he had so much more to lose.

His husband, his child, he would die for them, but he would very much rather live. To see his child grow up, but if he and Harry couldn't, there were people who would raise the child as their own. It was a great comfort to his husband, that they had something in place should the worst happen to them. Their child wouldn't end up suffering the same sort of childhood as them both.

Forcing himself to shake off his thoughts and fears, he listened intently to everything that was being said. He couldn't find himself screwing up, not when the end was near, he could feel it. Or rather he was expecting it, the Dark Lord always pulled something off at the end of the year.

He would want to 'end' Harry while he was still at Hogwarts, surrounded by people who were watching his every move. Leaving Hogwarts would leave the Dark Lord blind where Harry was concerned, so yes, he was definitely worried and he would want to end him as soon as possible.

Hence why he was using all his resources to try and find him.

He was scared of what Harry could become, and he had a right to be. Trained and taught by a spy and the four founders of Hogwarts. he was formidable, and had done a wonderful job of playing the part of a floundering seventeen-year-old, there hadn't even been a suggestion of Harry not being who he was before the end of the year.

He was confident that they were in for more than a fair shake in ending the Dark Lord's reign of terror.

He wasn't sure entirely if it was wishful thinking or not.

"Any sign of Macnair?" he had disappeared of the face of the earth after being let go on a very expensive bail and hadn't been seen since.

A collective round of tense 'No, My Lord,' echoed around the room.

Severus refrained from giving a very feral grin just thinking about what he'd done the wizard. They'd been friends once upon a time, or rather Macnair had pretended to be his friend, all in an effort to recruit him to the Dark Lord. Their pretence had cost him one of the people who had genuinely cared for him but found herself unable to follow or accept his path. Without magic he'd been pathetic easy to subdue and deal with, he'd let off a lot of frustration during that little bout of vindictive murder. It hadn't been his primary goal of course, which had been protecting Harry from his little short-sightedness when it came to sending Macnair to the Ministry of magic.

Truth be told, he hadn't thought of it himself.

They had been utterly idiotic to believe the Ministry would actually do their job for once.

He'd done it for them, one less scumbag in the world.

"What are you all still doing here?! FIND THE BRAT!" Voldemort ordered, furious beyond belief at their inability to find one stupid little brat who had no resources beyond Hogwarts and his two pathetic friends.

He should have been found by now.

"Lucius, Severus, remain behind!" he added, his voice was as always quiet, he had no need to raise his voice, or shout…when he did though…everyone in a mile radius suffered immensely.

Lucius swallowed thickly as he stepped out of the circle and prostrated himself at the Dark Lord's feet. Sweating a little at the thought of what may be coming his way. Severus himself, did the same thing, awaiting new instructions from their Lord.

"Bring me one of Potter's friends," sneering at the word 'friends' finding the entire thing pathetic. The need for human connection…it was always everyone's downfall, and it would be Potters as well. "We'll see how quickly he comes running to their aid," and then he would kill the brat once and for all. When everyone saw their last hope was dead…they would prostrate themselves at his feet for mercy and then he could begin running this country like he was meant to.

The Muggle-borns would be rounded up and killed, and Hogwarts would once more be a proud school filled with pureblood's. Then the idiotic Muggles would be systematically killed, until Britain was fully under his control with nothing but wizards and witches.

"My Lord? They're in Hogwarts…" Lucius trailed off, contrary to popular belief it wasn't easy to just stroll through Hogwarts to kidnap a student. Between the portraits and students and teachers…there was no way they could actually accomplish it. Not without being suspected and inevitably arrested for said kidnapping. "Will we plan something for when the train pulls up at Kings Cross?" he suggested, he definitely didn't want to go to Hogwarts, his magical signature would be registered when he entered the grounds. The Headmistress would know he was there, and would be met, with zero chance of getting away. He prayed that the Dark Lord would allow them to plan something for the train station.

"Or perhaps Hogsmeade station, it isn't nearly as protected, the idiots in the Ministry don't believe the 'children are targets'," Severus sneered, the only genuine response he'd had here, the Ministry was pathetic. Even the Order hadn't listened to his sound advice, he knew the Dark Lord infinitely better than them, but no, heaven forbid, they actually listen to someone who knew better. "They'll be more likely to think Kings Cross may be a target due to the Muggles on the platform." Ensuring they attacked a place more likely to have more protection.

Telling them he intends to attack would ensure they listened to him.

Idiot's the lot of them.

"Kings Cross won't have Aurors, I'll ensure it," Lucius said through gritted teeth.

"You cannot guarantee it," Severus stated firmly. "Despite being 'under the 'Imperius' you are not trusted within the Ministry of magic fully. However, the blasted Order have many Aurors in which have posited the idea to the Ministry themselves. They're desperate to stop any attacks, especially due to the lack of any." He added smugly, as if he was rather impressed to see them running around like headless chicken.

Lucius flushed an ugly shade of red at the implication of Severus' statement on his person.

"Go with Severus' plan, just get it done and bring one of the brats to me!" Voldemort retorted, as amusing as it was to watch their degradation of each other he wanted Potter and he wanted him now! Hopefully his servants wouldn't let him down again and would find the boy before the end of the year. He did not like Potter's disappearance at all. It had been too long since the brat disappeared.

"Yes, My Lord," Lucius said barely hiding his sourness, bowing low again, before standing swiftly, and leaving along with Severus.

"Where shall we meet to make a plan?" Lucius asked once they were out of the room, his fury undampened as he stared at Severus in seething rage.

"There is still a few weeks until school lets out," Severus stared blankly at Lucius, not at all intimidated by the blonde. "A few Order meetings I'll have to attend," looking as though something foul had landed under his nose. "We'll get it sorted before the train leaves the platform. Until then there is nothing to be done." Which was the truth, but he would need to warn Ronald and Hermione, as well as get them to warn Longbottom and Lovegood, who could be vulnerable as well.

"Very well," Lucius conceded through gritted teeth, before turning swiftly and leaving, too pissed off not to be grateful that for once he wasn't in excruciating agony as he left, after being held under the Cruciatus curse for the Dark Lord's enjoyment.

The end of the year…which meant his son would be returning home a fully fledged adult and graduated wizard from Hogwarts. The Dark Lord would expect him to be marked, to participate, Narcissa was scared beyond belief for their son…and so was he, and there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it if they valued their lives.

He felt like a failure as a husband and as a father and what did he get for his added troubles? Cursed relentlessly and endlessly for failing tasks that the Dark Lord knew were impossible to achieve. Welcome to his life.

Severus watched Lucius depart, shaking his head, before he too left the Dark Lord's hideout, before he pushed his good luck. It was the first time they had actually not been cursed at a meeting in the past month or so.

Changing his attire so that he didn't return to Hogwarts in his Death Eater apparel. He then Apparated with a loud crack, Severus found himself back at the castle. He had never felt more adrift, due to the nature of the 'bubble' he couldn't get a feel of Harry, or how he was doing. He felt as though a piece of him was missing, and it was, the blankness where Harry's emotions were was absent.

The bond they shared…ran very deep, and he knew he didn't want to experience it dying off entirely. He would never recover from that deep cold ache in his chest.

Forgoing the carriages, Severus walked, the closer he got to the school, the more he contemplated actually visiting Harry. It was Friday, he could spend a few days down there and emerge Saturday morning and inform the Order of the Dark Lord's latest schemes and moves.

An entire month without seeing him, it was torture, they'd been together for years without a single day going by without seeing him. Yes, less so after Hogwarts began again and Harry had to play the part of the Boy-Who-Lived and a Hogwarts student.

His resolve crumbled, when he was reminded that he'd only been staying away due to his severe debilitating pain. The last thing Harry needed in his life was stress right now, and he would definitely worry if he knew the truth. Thank Merlin for the bond being dulled to nothingness on both ends. He never wanted Harry to experience that debilitating curse again, still enraged that he'd experienced at fourteen as it was. He hadn't been aware, otherwise he would have brewed the draught immediately, instead he'd been side-lined, he recalled sneering at Harry that night, which did fill him with shame.

Severus all but ran towards his quarters, not even giving out detentions or loss of points from students he saw breaking the rules during his swift return to his rooms. "Dobby?" he called for his and Harry's loyal House-elf, who was down in the bubble with Harry and Remus, he would come when he could.

He immediately went to his room, and began to gather clothes for his time down there. Already changing from his teaching garb, he'd prefer to be comfortable, and these stiff robes did not scream comfort, or feel it. Then through to his bathroom, and packed up his toiletries and other essentials he'd need. Everything was folded neatly and placed in his bag.

"Can Dobby help Master Severus?" Dobby answered, almost making Severus jump, he had not expected Dobby quite so soon. Then again, he had in his hand a letter, presumably for him, from Harry it was near enough the right time Severus supposed.

"Take me down to the chamber, is there anything Harry needs?" Severus questioned.

"I has already been shopping…Master Severus…" Dobby said. "For…all…sorts,"

Severus glanced sharply at the House-elf, noticing the odd look on his face before his lips twitched in amusement. "Has he been eating an odd assortment of food?" he asked the House-elf innocently enough, and Dobby actually stuck his tongue out and shuddered before he remembered himself.

Severus chuckled wryly, yet another thing he was missing, which did sober him up a little.

"Very well, take us down," declared, if they needed more food, there was always Hogwarts, they always had an abundance of food, and wouldn't miss a few days' worth that he would consume while down there.

"Yes, Sir!" Dobby positively beamed in happiness, as he grasped Severus' hand and transported them to the chamber of secrets.

Severus moved swiftly towards the Head of Salazar Slytherin, stepping into the bubble entirely, and one step closer to his husband he hadn't seen in a month…longer still for Harry, Merlin, he couldn't even begin to calculate just how long Harry had been down here without him without making his head hurt. The feeling of the bond flaring to life made him close his eyes for a second before he was rudely interrupted.

"Severus," Remus said, blinking in astonishment, shaking off his thoughts. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" he hadn't half left the Order and Hogwarts in a bit of a lurch.

Severus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "The world has survived without you, yes, and nobody has died…yet." giving him a pointed look, "We're definitely approaching the end here, but I do not wish to discuss it, I'm here to see my husband."

Remus blinked, "Oh, Harry, right, of course," it was still very weird to hear those words coming from either Severus or Harry to be honest. The urge to ask further questions was strong, but before he could even summon up a thought or two about what he wanted to know most…the look on Severus' face did not help matters either.

Severus gave Remus a look that suggested he was questioning his intelligence, and probably was before he moved on. Time was…different here, they might be on their 'night' time, and Lupin was more than likely sleeping out here, while Harry had the bedroom.

In no time at all, Severus opened the bedroom door, Harry was still awake.

"Severus!" there was no surprise to see him, but considering the moment he had stepped into the bubble he felt Harry's emotions, the same happened in reverse. "I must admit I expected you a lot sooner." Smiling at him, eyes shadowed, "How bad has it been?"

Severus grimaced, well, so much for keeping it from him, to think he'd insulted his intelligence more than once. He definitely belonged in the House of the Snakes, cunning thing he was. sighing resignedly, he padded over to the bed, absently noticing the green rugs Dobby must have bought for Harry's comfort. It was really warm in here, was Harry feeling the cold? Sliding under the covers, Severus joined his husband, wrapping his arms around him, just relishing in the feel of him in his arms.

He didn't say anything, he didn't have to, his contentment and happiness buzzed through the bond.

"How bad?" Harry asked, curling up around Severus, relishing in the closeness, Merlin, he'd missed this. And he wasn't being asked to remove his 'glamour' which hadn't been replaced since he and Remus came down here. He couldn't just use immense amounts of magic all day anymore, all his 'resources' so to speak went on the baby. What magic he could cast was going sideways.

Severus sighed, "I'd rather not get into it tonight," unsurprisingly, he was bone achingly tired, despite the fact it was nowhere near night time in his internal clock. It would be just the thing he needed, rest and relaxation, no worries, just time.

Harry leant against Severus' chest, staring up at him, eyes soft and filled with love and adoration. He honestly hadn't thought Severus would last this long without coming, and it hadn't taken him long to figure out exactly why he wouldn't come down. "Is it okay for me to lie like this?" not wishing to cause him any pain, he couldn't feel anything through the bond, but Severus was very good at hiding it from him.

Severus tightened his hold, answering without speaking, stroking Harry's stomach, just feeling out his baby with his magic, connecting the three of them together.

For the next hour so they just lay in each other's arms before Severus spoke again, he had to inform him, as much as he'd like to spend the weekend, tell him then leave. He couldn't do that to Harry, he'd rather be there if Harry needed him. "The Dark Lord intents to snatch one of your friends to 'draw you out' at the end of the year."

"Hmm…that might actually work…" Harry said, his anxiousness for his friends background noise, mostly because he knew they could protect themselves. "He certainly wouldn't expect that," he added, his own mind mulling over plans of action.

"Expect what exactly?" Severus asked cautiously, fingers still stroking over Harry's stomach. There was a tiny bump, a 'beer gut' as it would be classed in the Muggle world. Barely discernible or noticeable, his child was slowly getting bigger ready to greet the world with a cry of discontent soon enough. Merlin he couldn't wait, but at the same time he felt gutted that he was missing out on something he'd never get back.

The sacrifices one makes to end this war seemed endless.

"I have an idea…it's risky, but it might just work…" Harry mused, thinking of the pros and cons. If he worked out the kinks he'd bring Hermione and Ron into the conversation, "How long is left up there anyway?"

"Just short of two weeks before the train departs at this very moment," Severus explained, "No more questions, go to sleep, we can talk in the… morning," just being here was more than enough to allow him to drop his guard and fully relax back.

"Alright," Harry murmured, "Love you," shifting a little as Severus' fingers tickled him a bit.

"And I, you," Severus replied, Merlin only knew if they'd have years of this to enjoy or mere days…it made them all the more determined to enjoy what time they did have together.

A/n – Yes the Dark Lord's plans are stupid, just remember he's completely crazy…despite the fact he was very intelligent once upon a time…in the original it's the Horcruxes that did it…since I don't have them in this one it's all the Dark Art rituals that did it. I don't know why I felt the need to remind everyone of that…then again this story was written before the last books…before we had even heard of Horcruxes and I wanted to stay true to that 😊 R&R