Matsuda could feel the hot breath on his neck, soft lips making their way down lower… lower… Matsuda moaned softly, hearing something strange in the back of his mind. What the heck was that? Was someone trying to talk to him, it almost sounded like…

"Light-kun?" Matsuda's dream world came crashing down around him as he opened his eyes, groggily and slowly he took in his surroundings, he was in Light's apartment. It took him a moment to realize Light was standing right in front of him "Ah, Matsuda, you're awake. You fell asleep here while everyone was discussing the Kira case, I thought I'd let you sleep." Matsuda yawned, rubbing his eyes he sat up "how long have I been here?" "Only a few hours, it's close to 2 a.m., if you want you can stay here the rest of the night."

Of course Light couldn't be bluntly inconsiderate to Matsuda, the only guy dumb enough to follow him so blindly without question. Light wasn't complaining obviously, it's always nice to have someone around when the rest of the task force was gone. Misa still lived with Light, but she wasn't good company. She's a ditsy dumb blonde, who was an unfortunate necessity in Light's mind. Not like Matsuda was as ingenious as L has been, but at least he wasn't annoying.

"I'd love if I could stay" Matsuda replied with his usual big overly happy smile. "Are you thirsty?" Light asked, pouring himself some coffee in attempt to stay awake. "Sure"

The rest of the night Light and Matsuda talked about small things, Light mostly avoiding the Kira case, he'd heard enough for one day, but he couldn't help from asking "Matsuda, what exactly are your views about Kira?" "Well obviously since I'm trying to catch him… I don't think I agree with everything he does, I mean the crime rates have dropped and everything, but I don't think he should just kill people what if they're innocent? I don't know, a lot of people agree with some of Kira's actions but if I had the chance… I'd kill myself, bang." Matsuda said it almost jokingly; he even smiled as he uttered the last words. "I agree completely." Light avoided looking Matsuda in the face, hearing something so cold from someone so… un-serious was slightly unnerving.

---

The next morning Matsuda was still snoring on the couch as Light awoke. He walked over to the couch to shake the older man awake. Matsuda jumped up, startled from the touch "Ah, Light! You scared me! Is it morning already?" "No Matsuda, it's the middle of the afternoon, maybe you should go do some research on the case, that's what your assignment was right?" After about 2 minutes of thinking Matsuda finally responded, "Ohhhhh yea, oh my god! I'm sorry I'll get right on it and uhhh, I'll just stop by later tonight and give you all my papers I've been working on!" he blurted out quickly, jumping up and heading towards the door.

Light sighed, shaking his head as Matsuda exited the apartment. He furrowed his eyebrows feeling a slight headache coming on "LIGHT-KUN!" great, Misa was finally awake now also "Light-kun, Matsu finally left? Oh darn, I was going to see if he could be my body guard tonight, I'm going to phar-tay!" "MisaMisa, wouldn't it be smarter to bring along someone slightly stronger than Matsuda to defend you, for example: everyone else in the task force." "Hmmm. Okay fine, I'll just get Mogi even though he's a party pooper. Wellll, I'll be back tomorrow so don't wait up for me tonight!"

Light sighed as Misa also left. Finally alone time. He didn't get very much peace anymore, he liked having privacy and getting time to think. Before he knew it though he was dozing off on the couch, the lack of sleep from previous night finally kicking in.

---

Light woke up to a loud, very irritating pounding. He could only imagine it being two things, Misa got drunk and lost the keys to the apartment, or Matsuda had returned. He hoped to god it wasn't the first considering she was supposed to be gone for at least 2 nights. He stumbled towards the door and unlocked it, thank god on the other side stood Matsuda. "Hi Light, I brought the research for you, sorry that's all I could get this week" "Thank you Matsuda, would you like to come in?" "Sure!" Matsuda replied cheerfully, god Light didn't understand how someone could be a constant ball of happy. "Something wrong Light, you look like you've had a bad day maybe?" Matsuda helped himself to the fridge and grabbed himself a coke. "No, I'm just tired, since Misa left I finally got some sleep."

Matsuda couldn't help but giggle a little, thinking about just exactly how MisaMisa could have deprived Light from his sleep. Looking up though he couldn't help but think, Light had such cold, intelligent eyes, they lacked emotion and passion. It was almost sad, how could someone go through their whole lives that coldly. "Mastuda?" Light gave Matsuda an awkward look as Matsuda realized that he'd been staring blankly at Light's eyes. He looked quickly down at the floor, it was weird, but Light's eyes looked almost sad that night. "Light?" "Yea Matsu." "Do you like me?" "…"

Only one word came to Light at that moment. AWKWARD. "Oh no, I mean, as a person and a friend. Sorry it was random" Light sighed under his breath "Of course, I wouldn't have you around if I didn't like you." Light's words were always so blunt and lacked compassion, even Matsuda could tell that almost every time Light said something halfway descent to him, it felt like a lie. Matsuda had never really got upset about someone not caring before but he felt so sad and struck down just thinking about the fact that he could never get closer to the younger man on any level. At that moment he felt so defeated and hurt. He felt his lip shake a little before he broke down, falling to the cold tiled floor, crying. "Mutsuda!" Light was slightly taken aback and for once, had no idea what to do or think. He kneeled down placing his hands on Matsuda's shoulders "Matsuda…" he said his name, for the very first time, softly. "Light, I'm sorry… I feel so worthless…" Matsuda wiped at his face, Light's hands felt warm and nice at that moment, and for the first time Matsuda just felt… content.

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CHAPTER 1 END

Wow, okay so the first chapter was just trying to get everything out there as far as Matsuda's perception on things. I didn't expect it to be this long when I started, but the other chapters won't be as slow as far as getting into the story.

I'll post a new chapter after I get a few reviews, and just a warning but the later chapters will have some graphic content.