Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own House. Although I do have the first two seasons on DVD…

"Anyone seen House today?" asked Foreman, coming into the differential diagnosis room to find Cameron and Chase sitting there, but no House.

"No. You haven't seen him either?" asked Cameron.

"How would I have seen him? I just got here!"

"No need to bite our heads off," said Chase, taken aback by Foreman's outburst. "We just thought maybe you ran into him on your way in here or something." They sat around waiting for a while, Chase doing a crossword, Foreman answering every clue that Chase couldn't figure out, and Cameron staring out the window. After waiting half an hour, they finally figured something was up. It was Cameron who suggested calling Cuddy, but Foreman made the call, as he was closest to the phone at the time.

"Hey, Foreman here. Do you know where House is?" he asked. There was a pause. "What?" he suddenly said with a look of utter bewilderment on his face. "How in the hell did that happen?" Another pause. "Well, thanks anyway." He hung up the phone.

"What? What happened?" asked Chase, concerned. "Where's House?"

"Cuddy says he called in sick this morning. Says he feels like he's got mono," said Foreman as though he still couldn't believe it himself.

"Mono? As in, the kissing disease, mono?" asked Chase, who looked like he was having an even harder time believing it than Foreman was.

"What other type of mono is there?" asked Foreman with a duh, of course type of expression on his face.

"What'd he do, hire a sick hooker?" asked Chase. Foreman smirked. "I hope she at least gave him a refund!"

"Well, it is possible that he got a girlfriend," said Cameron as though this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well," said Foreman with a look of feigned extreme concentration, "Stacy's husband is still alive, you're not sick, so that just leaves…oh! I forgot. You two are the only two women in the world who could ever stand him."

"Well, now that we've gotten the make-fun-of-Cameron's-crush-on-House part of the day over with, let's get to work," said Cameron, trying to sound like this last comment hadn't meant anything to her.

"On what?" asked Chase. "House is the one that decides what cases we're supposed to take, and I don't know about you guys, but I don't have clinic hours until this afternoon."

"Chase is right. Now what?" said Cameron.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I wanna know where House really is," said Foreman.

"Alright, then, where do you suppose we start looking?" asked Chase.

"Wilson's his best friend. If anyone knows where House is, it'll be him." The three ducklings agreed that this was by far the best idea any of them had had all morning, and so they set off to Wilson's office. Much to their dismay, however, they found it empty.

"All right, so where's Wilson?" asked Chase.

"Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen him the last few days," said Cameron. There was a pause during which all three stood silently thinking about the situation. Suddenly Foreman broke in with a look of mixed dawning comprehension and disgust on his face.

"Aw, that's just wrong, man!" he said.

"You don't think…" Chase started, but he was afraid to finish.

"Let's find out," Foreman said, as a nurse passed by them in the corridor. "Excuse me, nurse?"

"Yes?" she responded, turning around to face them.

"Do you know where Doctor Wilson is?"

"Oh, he's been out sick the last couple of days. I heard he had mono."