Author's Note: If you're a Kyouya fan girl, you may want to brace yourself. He gets totally dissed.
Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC. –Sob-
Dear Creators:
There are a great number of things I'd like to ask you about. I will list those most important.
1.Why am I the 'Shadow King'? Just because I'm –ahem- smarter than the average bear... doesn't mean I'm evil!
2.Why do I have to get hit on episode 26? Why me? I mean, Tamaki's grandmother could have smacked him upside the head; but NO. It just had to be me.
3. I'd KILL to know why I had to almost-rape Haruhi. What was the point of that? Are you trying to make me a male, teen prostitute or something?
4. I HAVE NO DAMN ANGER ISSUES. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MAKING IT SEEM LIKE I DO?!
5. I always look so…expressionless. I'm like Mori, for God's sake! At least make me have a DEFINED FACE for once!
6. Another almost-raped-Haruhi-episode question. What was with the whole 'sexy act of drinking water' thing? Very unattractive, I was fucking CHUGGING it.
7. I am a MOOCHER. I had to mooch off of Haruhi in the mall. I'm fucking rich, man! Completely unnecessary!
8. With all of my family's money, and all of the club's funds, why the hell am I still wearing glasses? I believe I can afford contacts!
9. Mom. MOM! What the hell? First I'm the 'Low-Blood-Pressure whatever it was' and now I'm a DRAG QUEEN?
10. Okay. Why am I the 'cool type'? I'm not cool worth a shit! I'm wearing fucking glasses and sporting a NERD HAIRCUT, you assholes! And God knows what I'm doing on that laptop all the time. Knowing your perverted minds I'm probably downloading porn!
11. Why am I never the center of attention? Why do I never go in my emo corner because Haruhi said something nonchalant but still slightly offensive to me? I've got problems, too!
12. Last but not least, I suck at being a host. You know it's true. I'll be all romantic and then I'll ruin the moment by saying something like "So, if you want to buy…" Why? WHY? Then, when I AM romantic to them, you've got me in a damn kimono! A BIG turn-off!
Sometimes I think no one gets me but my porn-filled laptop.
Sincerely,
Kyouya Ootori