I Don't Like Your Girlham!
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A/N: Yay! Thanks for all the sweet reviews, you guys! And thanks for waiting for chapter 4. Well, there's not much left to say except thank you and enjoy!
PS: I have no PS...MADE YA' LOOK :giggles and runs off:
Previously on "I Don't Like Your Girlham!"
Crystal opened her mouth to speak when she heard a thump and someone screaming. She looked at the tent they were under and saw a form sliding down from above. Sandy saw it too. "What the hell...?" she muttered. They stepped back to see who it was. And what wonders, it was...
"OOF!"
Stan went sliding down a bright red tent and landed on top of, who he found out a second later, was Crystal. She was looking up at him from her position underneath him. She blinked curiously as Stan turned a bright shade of pink. He could see his sister was staring in disbelief at them, her paws over her mouth. The crowd were also gaping in shock, Flora and the Ham-Hams probably the most amazed.
"Stan..." Crystal said. "...why did you just fall from the sky?"
(\/)(")(")
Chapter 4: A Deal With The Devil
"For the last time, Flora I'm fine!" Stan squirmed as Flora began to squeeze certain areas around his arm. "So, you're saying this doesn't hurt?" Flora asked as she squeezed Stan's elbow. "No! Really babe, I'm okay." Stan tried to reassure her by smiling. "Nothing hurts."
"Okay, how about this?" Flora said, before she slapped Stan across the face.
"OW!" Stan complained and held his cheek. "When you take a fall like that, honey, there will always be an injury!" Flora scolded. "Trust me, I know. I'm a nurse-in-training! Now, give me your other arm."
Flora, Stan and the rest of the Ham-Ham gang had taken an early emergency exit from the fun park and had returned to the clubhouse after the Stan incident. The Ham-Hams watched from the hallway as Flora continued to check Stan for any injuries or sprains in the bathroom. The tiger-striped male felt that the check-up was extremely unnecessary, but his girlfriend couldn't disagree more.
"Do you really think Stan's hurt?" Hamtaro whispered to Bijou. She shook her head, her white pigtails swaying. "Zhere really eez no telling. I mean, he did land pretty hard." she replied, a frown on her face. She suddenly felt a sharp nudge against her ribcage and winced. She turned to see Crystal glaring icily at her. Bijou immedietaly clamped her mouth shut in regret.
"I highly doubt it, Flora's just being overprotective." Sandy commented as she checked out Flora examining Stan's ears for flexibility. "I mean, do you really think he'd be hurt if he had landed so safely like that?"
"Yeah, thanks Sandy." Crystal called out sarcastically.
Flora just then came out, Stan right behind her. He was running his paw through his ear, checking for anything Flora could've done to them. "Well, he's fine! Thank goodness nothing happened to him, especially from a fall that high!" she smiled at them. The gang smiled politely back, except Crystal, who snuck behind when no one was looking.
Instead she sat down on the table and began to nibble on a biscuit angrily. Hmph! Stupid know-it-all. Gee, I wonder what she did, kiss away his boo-boo's?
"Crystal?"
"Hm?" Crystal opened her eyes and turned around to find Flora standing behind her. She smiled sweetly at her. "Don't think I forgot about you too, Crystal! After all, that was one nasty fall Stan took on you." she said.
Crystal noticed the room was staring at her and forced herself to smile back. "Thanks. But I'm fine." she said and turned away. She felt relieved that somebody had noticed that Stan wasn't the only one involved in the fall. But at the same time, she wasn't so happy that that person had to be Flora. Crystal knew that what she had just done was rude, but right now she didn't feel like talking to anybody.
Suddenly, someone sat on the seat next to her. She looked up to see Stan. Crystal said nothing. "Listen Crys," he said as he reached over and squeezed her arm. "I'm sorry about what happened. I really hope I didn't hurt you."
Crystal smiled at him in response. She looked into those blue eyes and immedietaly recognized the best friend that was staring back at her. "It's okay. Really, I'm fine." Crystal reassured him. She felt a warmth wrap around her with Stan's paw on her arm. That same, familiar feeling she got when she was around him seemed to be coming back.
"Are you sure? Because I can gladly take you to the bathroom for a quick check-up." Flora just then came in between Stan and Crystal. She had a concerned smile on as she sat on Stan's lap. Both Stan and Crystal looked slightly taken aback. Stan caught the Ham-Hams staring at him and began to blush. Crystal couldn't stop staring at Flora. For a second, she looked like she wanted to slap her.
"No, I'm really okay..." Crystal stared at their position and got a sick feeling in her stomach.
"Oh, well that's such good news!" Flora sighed and suddenly grabbed a hold of Crystal's paws as if they were best friends. "Cause us girlfriends wouldn't want anything bad to happen to our boyfriend's good friends. Wouldn't you agree?" Flora added a "tee-hee" to the end of her question.
"..." Crystal looked down at their paws, then up at Flora and down again to their paws.
"...Need some air."
(\/)(")(")
"See?! I told you she likes him!"
Crystal's head jerked suddenly and she looked down at Sandy. Her eyes shrunk into an icy glare. Even from her seat on a tall tree branch, she could still see the annoyng little know-it-all smirk on Sandy's tiger-striped face. Standing next to her was Jingle. He was looking up curiously at Crystal.
The ponytailed Ham-Ham hopped down from the tree and stood facing both hamsters. "What now, Sandy?" she sighed, exasperated. She had earlier been relaxing on the tree branch, looking out at the town when Sandy had completely ruined the moment. It was now near sunset and it time by now to head home, but young Sandy couldn't call it a day just yet.
"Well, Crys? Aren't you gonna let Jingle here know the truth?" Sandy smirked, nudging the musician-ham next to her.
Crystal folded her paws across her chest. "What truth?" she asked, her eyebrow cocked upwards.
"Oh, for crying out loud!" Sandy rolled her eyes. "CRYSTAL. LIKEY. STAN!" The tiger-striped ham-girl ignored Crystal's jaw-drop and whirled towards Jingle. "Get it?!"
"Okayokayokay, I got that part. But do you really think Stan's best friend would fall for him?" Jingle asked, doubt in his voice.
"THANK YOU--!" Crystal was interrupted by Sandy's paw to her face. "Butt out, Peaches. We'll deal with you in a sec." she murmured. "So you're like, telling me that you don't believe me?"
"I'm not saying that I believe you, but don't you think we should walk in her shoes for a moment here?" Jingle asked, nodding towards Crystal. "I mean, she still needs to adjust to this..new girlham thing. Even I'm still letting it sink in. I mean, Stan's a one-lady's man. Stan, of all people!"
"But have you wondered if Crystal could ever like Stan?" Sandy asked. "Oh yeah, plenty of times!" Jingle chuckled as if it were obvious.
"WHAT?!" Crystal stepped in between them and slapped Jingle on the arm. "Ow!" he yelled. "Don't let Sandy poison your mind with such ridiculous atrocities! What would she know? She's a valley girl!" Crystal sneered and glared at Sandy as she said the last sentence.
Sandy gasped dramatically. "Oh no you di-idn't!" she snapped her head back and forth.
"Oh yes i di-id!" Crystal shot back, her paws on her hips.
"Girls!" Jingle stepped in between Sandy and Crystal. He held his arms pressed in front of each girl. "Ladies, ladies, keep the peace! Now, I'm not saying that Crystal isn't jealous--"
He got another smack from Crystal.
"--but I'm not saying that she likes him either."
He got a smack from Sandy. "Then what do you believe?!" Sandy demanded.
"That I should butt out!" Jingle cried. He held his sore arms. "Why did you even get me involved? Why not Hamtaro? He's better at this love-triangle crap!"
"I AM NOT IN A LOVE TRIANGLE!" Crystal exploded, anime flames in her eyes. "I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU!" Jingle screamed back desperately, before he got his mohawk shaved off from a fit of PMS hormones.
"Because, you're Stan's best guyfriend! You HAVE TO get involved!" Sandy explained briefly, grabbing onto Jingle's arm. "Jingle, this girl is NOT right for Stanley! She is!" Sandy pointed at Crystal.
"I am not!" Crystal cried back. "Me falling in love with Stan, is like..Jingle falling in love with Stan!"
"Umm, eww?!" Jingle said in a valley-girl voice as he scrunched up his nose.
"Okay, but can you agree with me that Flora is not right for Stan?" Sandy asked.
"Of course I can!" Crystal replied. "But what can we do about it? Stan really likes this girl!"
"And how the hell would you know this?" Sandy questioned.
"BECAUSE I SEE IT!" Crystal blurted out. She could feel her heart pounding from all of the adrenaline. "I can see it in his eyes. The way she looks at him and the way he looks right back at her. The way they hold paws. Their body language. And frankly, all that stuff is something that I don't see between me and him." Crystal paused for a quick breather. Sandy and Jingle were silent. "What is it that makes you think me and Stan would be good for each other anyways? The idea is just...completely ridiculous."
"Well, you may not see it, but..we do." Jingle shrugged. Crystal looked up at him questioningly. "At least, we did."
"You and Stan kinda had this...thing." Sandy said. "Until Flower--"
"Flora." Jingle corrected.
"--whatever." Sandy scoffed. "Until that girl came in the picture. Now it all seems to be screwed over."
"Well, you're lucky she's in the picture now. Because I have absolutely no romantic feelings for your brother!" Crystal told her.
"Me too." Jingle joked.
"Well, I still don't like that Rose girl."
"Flora." Crystal jumped in.
"What-ever!" Sandy snapped. "She's all wrong for Stan!"
"You're just saying that because you're his sister." Jingle sighed. "He's right." Crystal agreed. "I mean, I'm just as extremely protective of Stan--to the point where it's violent--as you are. But I still don't see a reason to try to get rid of her."
(\/)(")(")
"Yoo-hoo!" Crystal turned around. Her heart almost stopped when she found Flora staring at her in the face. "Hi Crystal!"
Crystal sweatdropped. "O-Oh! Hi!" she gave her a nervous smile. It had been three days after the Sandy-Crystal-Jingle face-off and the Ham-Hams were all hanging out at the playground. It was a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon, and all of the humans were out having fun, giving the Hams the opportunity to relax out in the fresh air.
Flora smiled brightly at Crystal. "Hey, do you have a minute? I need a woman-to-woman moment." she asked. Crystal glanced at Stan, whom she was flying kites with, rather nervously. Stan smiled. "Go ahead, Crys. I'll watch your kite." he said reassuringly.
"Eh..." Crystal sweatdropped. For some strange reason, talking to her best guyfriend's girlfriend made her rather uncomfortable. Besides, her and Stan were kind of busy. Finally, she turned towards Flora and faked a smile. "Sure, w-why not!"
"GOODIE!" Flora squealed and grabbed Crystal's arm. Crystal yelped as her kite's string lost contact with her paw. Stan quickly caught it before it went flying. "This won't take long, Stanny!" the nurse hamster winked at Stan. He smiled and waved back.
Flora, who clung to Crystal's arm began to skip across the grass, passing the others along the way. Crystal could see the Ham-Hams staring at them. The little brown hamster knew that they knew that she wasn't very comfortable, better yet, polite to Flora, and seeing them skipping together at the park was a bit farfetched. After all, Crystal had been distancing herself from Flora for the past three days, which didn't exactly make them "friends".
"There. That should be far enough." Flora sighed. She continued to give Crystal that perky, abnormally sweet smile. It almost scared her. She let go of Crystal and began to walk like a normal person. "Sooooo! Crystal...?"
Crystal cleared her throat. "Flora." she spoke quietly.
"I have a question for you." the little white hamster began to rock back and forth nervously.
"If it's about how to spell Stan's name on tree bark, then just sound it out." Crystal smirked.
Flora burst into a fit of giggles. "You're SO funny!" she squealed, not getting the joke. Crystal sweatdropped as she faked a smile. "But no, it's not that." she took a deep breath. "Gee, this is so hard to say, but...as Stan's girlfriend, I think I have every right to tell you this."
"Tell me what?" Crystal crossed her arms across her chest. A hint of suspicion sparked in her eyes.
"You see...I've been noticing alot of...chemistry between you and Stan." Flora said. "Of course there's chemistry!" Crystal shrugged nonchalantly. "We're like best friends."
Flora nodded. "Yes, but...I-I want that to stop."
Crystal blinked.
"As in stop. Completely." Flora looked up. She looked straight into Crystal's eyes. They looked darker than they usually did. "I don't want you hanging out with him anymore."
"What?!" Crystal's eyes widened.
"Crystal, you need to understand something." Flora spoke as she began to circle Crystal. "When I'm with a guy, then I am his number one girl. I like to feel appreciated and loved by my man. I want no threats, no extras or any 'best galpals' around. I've been cheated on before thanks to a little 'friend' and I refuse to let it happen again."
Flora stopped in front of Crystal, her arms crossed. She looked like a Nazi general sending out directions to her troops. Crystal felt numb, her eyes never leaving Flora's. With that darkness in her eyes, the nurse-ham looked so completely different. She wasn't the peppy, overly-hyper cheerleader-like girl the Ham-Hams saw. She was a conniving, disguised, in-control--and extremely gutsy creature.
"But in Stanny-kin's case, you're a distraction. Do you know how much he talks about you? That's a bad sign. He's supposed to be all about me. I can't get hurt again. Not by distractions like you. But letting him go won't be an option. So, if maintaining my relationship means getting rid of those closest to him, then so be it."
Crystal iced over. Her paws clenched into fists. "So, you basically want me to drop all communications with your precious boyfriend?"
"Crystal, I'm trying to be as nice and as civilized as possible with this situation." Flora practically pleaded as she clasped her paws together. She looked like the devil in disguise.
"HA!" Crystal threw her head back. "I think the 'Nice Train' set off a loooooooong time ago with this one."
Flora smiled. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Now, I understand you're a little thrown off, but understand that this is for our own good. I don't want you involved in anything Stan may accuse you of, and I don't want to feel like he has to hide anything from me."
"Flora, you got it all wrong!" Crystal took a step forward, which made Flora hesitate. "Stan is my best friend, and we would never ever, uh...well...do whatever it is your sick mind is convincing you to think what we're doing!"
"Excuse me for the inappropriate language, but best friends don't pounce on each other's bodies like wild animals on heat!" Flora told her.
"What happened yesterday at the park was called flag football, Flo-RUH!" Crystal defended herself. "And maybe if you knew a little more about Stan, then you would know that he'd never cheat on you! He really really cares about you! Not all guys are total asswipes, you know!"
"Well, either way, it's gonna stop!" Flora declared in a louder voice. "Stan is my boyham, not you. So, don't boss him around like you own him or something. Just stay away from him!"
"And what if I don't? What are you gonna do, needle me to death with the shot for chicken pox?" Crystal smirked. She knew she had pushed the line, but nobody knew more about pushing limits than Flora.
The nurse ham dropped her jaw as she gasped dramatically. "The chicken pox is a serious human illness! It is not to be toyed with, why it could wipe us all out if we weren't immune to it!" Crystal rolled her eyes, this girl was absolutely no threat to her. "However..." Flora added a moment later. "..if you're looking for a challenge, then don't put your shotgun down just yet. I have my ways. Just don't butt in, or else."
With that said, Flora took a step back. "Toodles, hun!" she suddenly waved. She was back to being that pesky, hyper little worm that Stan had met. Flora skipped off, leaving Crystal with a steaming forehead.
"'Toodles, hun'!" Crystal imitated her. She then picked up an acorn on the floor. "Toodle this, bitch!" Crystal threw the acorn in Flora's direction. Of course it missed, but it was expected.
Growling, Crystal began pacing the floor. "Oh, this is brilliant, Stan's dating a monster in a hot nurse-ham form."
"I know, I can't believe her!"
"GAH!" The brown and white hamster jumped and whirled around to see someone coming out of the bushes behind her. She immediately recognized the Ham-Ham. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Crystal glared.
A/N: HA HA! Finally, I'm done! And, I left you all in a cliffhanger. Sucks for you, byotches! :cue evil laughter: Sorry for the absense, I took a little break. Junior year is REALLY stressful! o-o Anywho, thanks for being so patient. Anyone who knows me well knows that I take my own time with my fics.
Review nicely, cause I always do the same for you!
Jeff Hardy fan for Life!
Crystalgurl101 :)