Note: I am SO SORRY about how sporadic this story has been updated. It started as an idea that I didn't really have time to work on. I rediscovered it on my computer the other day, and decided to open it again. I promise to try to keep my updates more frequent (every other week or so.) A sincere thank you for anyone who continues to read this story after all this time. I will try to make it worth your while!

Chapter 5:

Eric squinted in the dim light of his bedroom as he tried to read what was left of Connie's phone number on his palm. He knew from the beginning that going to the Pricemart Ball would be nothing but trouble. Clearly he and Donna were still far from the place where they could be friends. In fact, that was the main reason he hadn't wanted to go to the dance with her in the first place. Neither of them were very good at being mature lately, so it seemed. He was interrupted by the sound of loud knocking on his door.

"Hey, Eric? Are you wearing pants this time?" A female voice called from the hallway.

"Jackie?" Eric asked, confused. "What the hell are you doing up here?"

"Michael and your mom told me that the phone number you got last night is smudged." Jackie yelled in. "I'm good at reading other people's writing. I thought I'd come up and take a crack at it... But only if you're wearing pants."

"Yeah, I'm dressed." Eric assured her. "But I don't know if you'll be able to-"

"Oh, stop with the excuses already." Jackie huffed, breezing into the room. "You've been whining about moving on for the past few weeks. Don't chicken out on me now."

Eric opened his mouth to protest, but closed it quickly unsure of what to say.

"So, Pricemart Ball, huh?" Jackie smirked, sitting next to him and grabbing his hand. "Sounds like an incredibly lame place to meet someone."

"You have no idea." Eric laughed. "Bad music, bad shrimp, drunk mom, and the most awkward non-date I could ever have imagined."

"Sounds terrible." Jackie replied. "I'm almost sorry I missed it."

"Yeah, I should have just taken you." Eric shrugged, still laughing slightly.

The comment hung in the air for a moment, and an awkward silence settled between them. Jackie dropped her eyes down to his palm, and Eric could have sworn he saw a slight blush settle over her cheeks.

"Yeah, well, I do have a dress for every occasion." Jackie finally spoke up, though she still didn't lift her eyes. "But I'm sure Donna enjoyed herself."

"Oh yeah, she was fine when she was hitting on guys near the bathroom." Eric grumbled. "But the second one cute blonde gives me her phone number, she goes all crazy and licks my hand."

"Licks your hand?" Jackie frowned, looking at the hand she was touching in disgust. "Ew!"

"Yeah, that's why I'm in this current dilemma." Eric sighed, gesturing to the hand she was studying intently.

"Oh wow, Michael was right!" Jackie laughed, pointing to a spot on his palm. "I totally see the ampersand."

"Well, you've been terribly helpful." Eric groaned, snatching his hand back. "I guess Connie from Cheboygan is a lost cause."

"Stop pouting." Jackie teased. "This was the first step. I'm sure there will be more Connies out there to piss Donna off."

"Wow, that sounded vaguely nice." Eric said, looking at her strangely.

"Don't get used to it." Jackie returned, standing up. "When you're done looking at that blotch on your hand, you should come down to the basement. Fez got fired from the Fotohut, and if I have to hear one more photography pun I may go insane. You know Michael, he just encourages it."

"Yeah, I'll probably give up soon." Eric called after her, watching for a moment as she left his room and bounced down the stairs.

The following week, the majority of the gang sat around a table at The Hub reading Donna's story in the school paper.

"I cannot believe Donna wrote this!" Eric yelled, slamming his copy of the school paper down on the table.

"Sh, Eric!" Jackie protested. "I'm still on the part where you killed her cat."

"Jackie! I haven't gotten there yet!" Kelso frowned, shushing her. "I only just got to the part with the chastity belt."

"Read faster, Michael!" Jackie snapped back. "Plus, shouldn't you be out buying me that dress you promised?"

"Damn, Jackie!" Kelso huffed. "At least let me finish reading about what a dill hole Eric is."

"Guys, what are you even talking about?" Fez chimed in. "This story is about Wanda and Derrick. Two young lovers who find out they are completely wrong for each other. What does that have to do with Eric?"

"I'll explain later." Hyde promised his friend, without looking up from his copy of the paper.

"Oh, no!" Jackie gasped, completely engrossed in the story. "Not Playboys! Derrick, how could you?"

"Jackie, teenage boys have needs." Eric defended. "Some of us choose to look at pictures of naked women instead of doing it behind the gym with Pam Macy."

"Eric!" Kelso yelled, swatting at him. "At least I never killed anyone's cat."

Donna walked into The Hub, and smiled when she saw all of her friends gathered around, reading her story.

"Hey, guys!" She called, brightly. "What do you think?"

"I love it." Hyde grinned. "Not only is it well-written, but it makes Forman look like a complete ass."

"Yeah, Donna, real mature." Eric snapped, from his seat.

"Oh, stop it guys." Donna frowned. "I just did what writers do. I pulled from my own experiences, and added some creative touches."

"What you call creative touches, I call lies!" Eric returned. "I know you never want me moving on, but you didn't have to make me look like a total bastard so I'm completely un-dateable to women."

As Eric and Donna launched in to yet another fight, they barely noticed all of their other friends getting up and leaving the restaurant.

"I need a Medieval word for bitch." Eric frowned, looking down at the paper.

"I'm pretty sure bitch would work just fine." Hyde answered, as his eyes never left the tv. "Are you really writing a second story just to piss off Donna?"

"I still don't get it!" Fez whined from his seat in the basement. "Hyde, you promised to explain it to me."

"Forman is writing a follow-up story for the sake of being a vindictive ass." Hyde shrugged. "This is only going to get him in more trouble than he's already in, which means more entertainment for us."

"Ooh! What if Derrick gets a new love interest at the end of my story." Eric suggested, completely oblivious to the conversation going on around him. "One that's much hotter than Wanda."

"They call it fantasy for a reason." Hyde smirked, standing up. "Fez, let's get out of here. Do you think Kelso is still trying to peddle Jackie so people use his stupid pinball machine?"

"I hope so." Fez grinned, and the two sprinted out the door leaving Eric behind.

"... and as Wanda repeated that they weren't currently courting, Derrick caught the eye of another beautiful maiden across the way." Eric mumbled aloud as he wrote.

Jackie stormed into the basement, slamming the door behind her.

"So, instead of buying me a dress with my fifty dollars, Michael bought into that stupid pinball machine." Jackie pouted, sinking onto the couch next to him.

"You really thought he was buying you a dress?" Eric asked, slightly amused.

"Shut up. A girl can dream." Jackie returned. "Ugh, I'm so never seeing that money again."

"No. No you're not." Eric answered. "But at least he didn't write a story where he portrayed you as a cat-killing porn freak. Which is why I'm writing a story, too."

"Oh, God." Jackie groaned, trying to read over his shoulder. "This isn't going to end well."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Eric wondered aloud.

"History tells us so." Jackie shrugged, then remembered why she came. "Oh, where are your magic markers? Michael sent me so we can make flyers for the pinball machine."

"And you really think that's going to end well?" Eric asked, incredulously.

"I'm cautiously optimistic?" Jackie shrugged.

"Then, me too." Eric answered. "Magic markers are over on the bookshelf."

"Thanks!" Jackie smiled, hopping up off the couch. "Oh, you know what would make your story better?"

"What?"

"Put me in it." Jackie grinned, grabbing the markers and walking out the door.

Three days and two completed short stories later, the whole gang was gathered around a table at The Hub.

"So, thanks to you two, the school paper has completely banned short stories." Hyde informed the group. "Now we never have to read another lame attempt again. So, sincerely, thank you,"

"Hey, my story was perfectly fine." Donna defended. "Defensive dill hole over here had to go ruin it for everyone."

"Hey!" Hyde snapped, raising his arms. "When I said I'm so over the fighting, I meant it. So from now on, zip it or take it outside."

"Hey, don't look at us." Eric stepped in, gesturing towards himself and Donna. "Wanda and Derrick have reached a temporary cease-fire."

"Oh, we've heard that story before." Hyde said, growing increasingly bored with the conversation.

"Let's play Space Invaders!" Fez suggested, pointing over towards his machine.

"I still can't believe they got rid of my pinball machine." Kelso frowned.

"So in latest news, my dad got himself a new lady-friend." Donna announced.

"Is she hot like Midge?" Hyde asked, suddenly interested in the turn in the conversation.

"Nah, she's kind of the anti-Midge." Donna answered. "All into women's equality and baggy clothes and all that."

"Then why would we care?" Kelso asked, raising an eyebrow. "If she's not going to be jumping rope in tight sweaters, she's practically invisible to me."

"Michael, stop it." Jackie pouted, swatting him.

"What?" Michael shrugged. "I miss Midge's rack. And I'm not ashamed of that. So unless Donna's new mom is hot like Midge, I could care less."

"Nice." Donna replied, offended. "But I don't think they're together like that. I think she's just helping him cook and stuff since he's so broken up over my mom."

"I'm going to play Space Invaders!" Fez announced again, louder this time.

This time Hyde and Kelso followed him over to the machine.

"And after all that they got rid of Michael's pinball machine." Jackie frowned. "Can you believe I'll never get my fifty dollars back?"

"Yes." Donna and Eric replied in unison.

"Since when do you two agree on things?" Jackie sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Since they involve Kelso being a dillhole, and you being clueless and blinded by your feelings for him." Donna teased.

"Shut up, Lumberjack." Jackie mumbled under her breath.

The pair started to giggle, which eventually turned into loud laughter. Eric looked between the two girls, and couldn't help but start laughing as well.

"That's the sequel to your stories." Jackie said between her laughter. "Beautiful Princess Jackie, and her friend the pretty, yet gigantic, Lumberjack!"

"That Lumberjack thing is totally not funny anymore." Donna argued, though she couldn't manage to stop her laughing.

"I personally like Wanda and the naughty wenches better." Eric spoke up from his seat at the table.

"Shut up, you pervert!" Donna laughed, swatting him.

"Well, I've got to go." Jackie announced, standing up and putting on her coat. "You two keep trying not to kill each other."

Jackie yelled for Kelso, and ignored his mumbling as he left the rest of the gang to walk her home.

"She seems different." Donna observed, looking after her strangely. "Nicer, maybe?"

"I hadn't noticed." Eric lied, shrugging. "So, about those wenches..."