Public Apology Letter….Thing

Dear Newsies Community,

Recently, I opened my front door to a large gathering of very angry girls. Most of them had doilies. It appears that not only have I offended the SARAH IS MY HEROIN group, but the DOILIES OF AMERICA federation was up in arms against my recent atrocity.

Through a series of calm and mature meetings where we discussed in a civilized and entirely un-brutal manner, the depth of my ineptitude, illiteracy, and evil, evil soul, it was decided that my sins might be graciously and nobly forgiven if a public apology was issued to the entirety of for all of you who love the doily queen, long may she live, and for all of you who were grievously mislead by my news bulletin claiming her unspeakable death, and even for those of you who's only qualm was against my de-characterization of the beloved Sarah Jacobs, I apologize. I hang my head in shame for my defamation. I cry tears of deepest shame at the cruel and despicable way in which I portrayed and spitefully ended Ms. Jacobs' life.

This is a sorrow and a deed for which I will never forgive myself.

With deep and sincere repentance,

Johanna