Disclaimer:Everything is owned by Ms. Tamora Pierce, I don't even own the piles of fanfiction on Numair's surprisingly sturdy desk. Those belong to the people on this site, in this section. All of you wonderful writers that keep entertainment in my non-existant life.

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to all my reviewers, but especially silverflight8 and Kelusen. Those two helped me keep Kel in character so much more than I would have, though I still failed. Because Kel is as in character as I could make her it wasn't a very funny chapter, so I added Daine, then I still found it too fluffy, so I added Neal. I believe that he made a humorous ending to this fic. Yes, I'm done. I'm sorry to those that wanted me to write about the other characters. I should have stopped after Alanna. Thanks to anyone that read this too.

IMPORTANT: I would like to say right now that I apologize if I insult anyone. It was not my intention upon writing this chapter. That being said, I hope you enjoy this LAST installment.

Numair sighed tiredly, taking a bite of the bread he'd been brought for lunch. It was plain and boring, just like this job was for him. As soon as he had stepped out of the door he saw not only a line of people waiting to be counseled, but a page navigating his way slowly through the maze of legs with a tray of food that looked fit only for a prisoner of the dungeon. He had tried to avoid the boy, but, alas, his six foot five build would not allow him to pass unnoticed. So now he sat at the restocked desk reading from a rather interesting book on the history of constellations, which he already knew a lot about, while waiting for his next 'patient' to enter.

Enter she did, with absolutely no facial expression. It was even less than he was used to seeing in class. At least during class her facial muscles were relaxed in to a slight smile of amusement. Numair sat up from his almost slouch in the uncomfortable wooden chair and put a bookmark in the page of his book. "Keladry of Mindelan," he said with a small quirk of his lips. "How are you?" he asked conversationally.

"Well," Kel said evasively, her dreamy, long-lashed hazel eyes gazing steadily into Numair's own brown. Numair's defense system twitched up in to place with her own guarded posture. "I was told to come here by order of Queen Thayet," Kel prompted at his silence.

"Ah yes," he said, her words doing their job and bringing his mind back to the present. "Are you aware of the fact that many stories written by fans of our lives are written about us?" Numair asked, not realizing his choice in wording was as mistake.

"Us, Master Numair?" she asked, a small frown tinting her lips as she confirmed what she had heard.

The man's eyes widened at his mistake and he quickly tried to correct it. "You, Raoul, Jon, Alanna, Thayet, and every other Tortall resident separately or together. I have yet to see a story with the two of us together, thankfully," he said too quietly for her to hear.

"No sir, I had no idea anyone was writing about our lives," Kel said, attempting to keep his list to a minimum, not realizing it had already stopped.

Numair sighed and stood, beginning to pace and collect his thoughts on what to tell her. While a woman, he knew Kel to be disinclined towards the romantic side of life, and likely would be innocent to some of the things he had skipped over while reading her stories, despite her dalliance with Cleon of Kennan, he was fairly positive that she had not yet had intercourse. "You are friends with Nealan of Queenscove and his cousin Domitan of Masbolle, correct?" Numair asked, reading off a list of names he had made while reading.

"Yes sir," Kel said with a nod.

"Are you romantically inclined towards either?" Numair questioned, attempting to be kind to her nerves, which were likely to be on edge at the personal question.

"No sir," she said evenly, answering every question as she was trained to do as a Page.

"And were you ever emotionally close to Joren of Stone Mountain?" He saw her make a small face of disgust, making a smile touch his own lips. She was obviously not happy with the thought of having anything to do with her former peer.

"None but rivalry, sir," she answered after a few seconds pause that allowed her time to settle her stomach. She had almost forgot the title she found herself obligated to use.

"Yes, he was a rather sexist male, wasn't he?" Numair said with a small grin, trying to calm her a little. His attempt was not in vain and his gaze fell back to his papers as she smirked at him in agreement. "If I were to tell you that some people strongly believe you to be infatuated with one of those three men, which do you think you could handle reading?" he asked suddenly, giving up on all decorum and just wanting to finish this session. He received a tilt of the head and a very slight furrowing of her brows, thought it was very small. She was attempting to hide her confusion, and doing a wonderful job at it. "Perhaps you will allow me to try and reason out your best choice. I'm assuming you would cause harm to something or someone in this room were you to read about a relationship between yourself and Joren of Stone Mountain, and I am rather inclined to enjoying the pastime of being able to sit back and realize that my head is still attached to my shoulders. Also I have come to understand that you believe Queenscove belongs with your friend Yukimi, so that leaves Masbolle," Numair said, lifting a large pile of papers that took up more than half of the ones that were already stacked.

"With all due respect sir, I do not wish to read anything relating to Dom's supposed relationship with me. We are friends and should I learn something from these stories I might view him in a lesser light. I believe it would unfair to him or any of my friends to do that," Kel said. "Queen Thayet may believe that I need a counseling session, but as many people say, ignorance is bliss," Kel said, stepping towards the door, as she had not sat down upon entering.

"Why don't you want to learn about what people say about you?" Numair asked, always curious about the workings of others minds and why people weren't as curious about such things as he was. He understood that some people didn't find as much interest in the workings of the Gift as he did, but when it came to something that everyone had he believed everyone should be interested.

"Curiosity killed the spy," Kel quoted the famous saying.

"Learning the lesson made others more sly," Numair finished.

"What lesson is to be learned from reading some silly stories?" Kel asked.

"The depth of which people change others to fit the whim of their own fantasies should pique anyone's interest who is involved or even not. To learn what people truly wish would happen to them but can convey it in no other way than writing someone else's life might give you an insight into others minds that could help you in certain situations."

"Learning what romance-clouded minds want isn't in the job description," Keladry said.

"Yes, well, neither was counseling in mine," Numair retorted, "yet here I am, forced to analyze every little word in a story so that the patients our kind Queen has given me will understand their standing in the other persons eyes better." The man realized he had ranted inappropriately on someone he did not consider a close friend and a blush tinted his dark cheeks. "Forgive me, it's been a very trying day," he said, hoping she would accept his response to his sudden outburst.

"I shall tell Queen Thayet that you have informed me of the stories and that you're tired," Kel said, her eyes sparkling slightly in good humor at having witnessed the man blush for ranting.

"That would be a lie though," Numair told her.

"No sir, you informed me that people write about relationships that are not real, and which of my acquaintances I am basically thrown with," Kel said evenly, "therefore, it would not be lying."

"Thank you Keladry," Numair said with an honest sigh of relief, watching her leave with terrific posture. Numair looked at the large stack of papers he could now get rid of. He tossed the pile of numerous stories into the already large fire and went to sit at his desk to continue reading about constellations. "Come in," he said when someone knocked on the door only a few seconds later. He looked up and spotted Daine walking in with Zekoi the marmoset peeking out from under her hair. The smile she wore spread infectiously to Numair's own face. He stood and put the book down, not bothering to mark his page. "Are you here for a counseling session, darling?" he asked wrapping his arms around her waist and lightly kissing her.

"Yes," she said after the small peck. "I found something interesting under your pillow while changing the sheets," Daine said right before their lips met again. It surprised the mage so much that he paused. He knew she liked to clean their room herself, finding it unfair that her animals made such a mess and then leaving it for the maids to clean up, which would take many hours for them, also including their other duties. Daine just asked Kitten to help and what Kitten couldn't do she did herself or asked a few animals for help, such as dusting high places.

Numair drew away slightly to look into her storm-grey eyes, trying to remember what he had put under his pillow. His eyes widened in horror when he did remember. The recognition in his eyes caused Daine's to dance in laughter while the same emotion played with the edge of her lips, which tried valiantly to stay in a straight line. "May I explain or will I be condemned to the floor tonight?" he asked, joking only slightly. His face resembled that of a puppy that wanted forgiveness for something it didn't know was bad.

"You may explain," Daine said, leaning back, her arms still around his neck for support. She was enjoying torturing him this way. Zek however did not appreciate her angle, and his tail tightened around her neck so he would be more secure.

"As you know, our lovely Queen whose beauty is only second to your own, has assigned me to read and analyze many stories, some of which involve us."

"Yes, I guessed that, since this rather explicit one did," Daine told him with a serious voice. She knew he would see past her serious demeanor and to the joke she found of it, underneath.

"Well, I had been working late last night and… have I mentioned today that you're more adorable than Zek?" he asked, playing up the scared husband act.

He received a glare from said monkey and started chattering angrily in Daine's ear. Daine hushed it up and brought him back on topic. "Now, this story," she said slowly, backing away from him to circle around his now wary body. "How many more are there like it, and how many of them have you read?"

"I am not sure how many of them there are, but I can tell you that some of them do not do justice to your beauty. They often try to say that your thick curls are manageable and that my fingers easily glide through it instead of becoming entangled in them, as I so love."

"Yes, but I also read one that conveniently fell into your trash all crumpled up that said that you beat me, or hurt me in some way," Daine said. "Is there something there that I should know about?" she asked.

"Well that depends, should you also know about how you are often paired with Perin the clerk who also beats and or humiliates you before we become partners?" he asked, trying to get off that uncomfortable topic.

Numair, however, instantly regretted bringing up her old swain, for her frame stiffened in his arms and he watched the smile he hadn't noticed before fade. "Daine?" he asked cautiously.

"Master Numair?" Kel asked, opening the door to the scene. "I'm sorry," she said quickly and going to close the door but the man's midrange voice stopped her.

"It's alright Keladry. Come on in," he said, releasing the impassive Daine and moving to a more appropriate distance from her. "What is it?" he asked, looking at her.

"Earlier you'd said that these people paired me with Joren of Stone Mountain," she said slowly, as though unsure of her words. "How do they do that when he's dead?" she asked.

"Often they find a way for him to either come back to life or he didn't die and he became a knight. Stories such as those are called Alternate Universes because they happen in the timeline of the series of books a Ms. Pierce wrote about us, but they have changed what she wrote. There are many different ways for stories to be an Alternate Universe, if you would like to learn more about them I found a book in the back of our library written by someone I assume had to explain it to other people."

"May I see it?" Kel asked. She watched Numair go to his desk drawer and pull something out after undoing a spell he had placed on it. She glanced at Daine who still hadn't moved.

"Here you are," Numair said. "Would you like a few copies of some of your stories to look through?" he asked politely.

"No, thank you sir," Kel said before bowing slightly and turning to leave. "One more thing, do you know if anyone has paired me with Cleon again?" she asked.

"Not to my knowledge," Numair said. "From my studies, people weren't very fond of him, or he gave a stable enough reason to escape stories with you.

"Thank you sir," she said, bowing stiffly again and leaving.

"Numair, what do you mean people pair me with Perin?" Daine asked slowly after a minute's silence.

"Sweetling, they often only pair you with him to get the story moving. You always end up with me in the end," he said reassuringly. "It's also not only Perin, sometimes they also pair you with that Hakkon Falconer from Snowsdale."

That did nothing to calm her nerves though. "Have you seen any of me 'paired,'" she said the word as though it was uncomfortable coming from her mouth, "with Tristan Staghorn, Neal or Ozorne?" she asked carefully.

"No, never," Numair said reassuringly. "If I had ever seen one where you were with Neal it would likely to be to spite me, and I would not have it. I would march down to Queenscove's door and hang him upside down from the top of Balor's Needle," Numair threatened. Daine giggled slightly, her normal mood returning from the mental image. Numair saw that it was safe to go back and hold her. He did so, resting his forehead on hers. "I have not seen any story where you were not with me," he told her. "That's saying something though," he added. "Of all of the stories I've read, there is only one other pairing that I have seen to be as loyal and loved as we are, and they no longer are living," Numair said.

"Beka and Rosto?" Daine asked curiously.

"How did you find out about them?" Numair inquired.

"George was telling me about his family and how they were connected all the way back to the provost a lot time ago. Beka was his many times Great Grandmother, and he told me about the King of Thieves of the time and how she knew him. It was an interesting tale," Daine said.

"I'll have to ask him to tell it to me some time," Numair said. "I'm curious to know about the Scanran thief that caught a 'Dogs' attention."

"Until then, how about we leave before Thayet sends in your next visitor. I heard that there's a small sale going on in the market place," Daine told him with a sneaky smile. "Maybe they'll think we went there."

Numair grinned at her kissing his wife before following her out the side door right before Nealan of Queenscove entered. The young man looked around in confusion before taking a seat behind the desk to read the papers that were piled on it.

His attention was drawn by a hide folder that had a bit of scroll sewn to it labeled with his name. He pulled it out and opened it carefully after looking around to make sure he was alone.

The group outside of the door all looked at it as a scream echoed from there followed by silence then uncontrollable laughter. The people waiting in the hall exchanged worried and confused looks, deciding to leave and if asked by the Queen, tell her that they did, in fact, go to their meeting with the black mage.

Inside the room Neal was gasping on the floor, attempting to stay alive with very little air. He had quickly fallen out of the chair in horror upon reading the summary of a stack of wrapped papers that said he and his cousin were in a relationship. His falling had dislodged another pile of stories, the top of the one closest to him read the following:

The Stump wasn't always so strict. Once he had broken the rules. Once he had been the comedian of his class. Once he had done ballet.

A/N: Yes, another Authors Note. This is just to say that Numair does call Daine 'darling' in the fourth book so people don't tell me he's out of character for that. I added no information that was not given in the books besides that George told Daine about Beka and Rosto. I didn't delve into the B/R relationship because my beliefs on it are very different from what most people believe. If anything is wrong, please tell me and I'll fix it to the best of my abilities or attempt to explain myself. I was skimming through the PotS series for a lot of my information on this chapter. I seriously had all of my books sitting next to me for this chapter.

Thank you everyone who read this fic. A bigger thank you to those that also reviewed. Your reviews brighten/brightened my day so much. (sorry if you didn't find this one nearly as funny as the other ones. I tried, but funny isn't one of my strengths)