Cynosure,
part three
They're ahead of her, moving quickly, having a one-sided argument. The sun is blinding, the horizon bleeding red and orange together – loud colors, too loud, too much like Mugen's raised voice and the headache that always follows.
Jin's features are tight as he takes a step in front of Mugen only to have the man match his pace. A flicker of amusement passes through his dark irises, but Fuu cannot see it. In a way, Fuu has always been blind. (And both of her boys know it.)
She is blind in the way that she clings to them, fearless with them at her sides, confident that they will always be there to aide her even though they've left her before.
She is blind in the way that she doesn't see Jin's chest rising unevenly at night while she toys with his smooth, long hair. Jin lies still with his breathing measured, giving the illusion that he is actually resting, and Fuu runs her hands through the thin black strands that stream from his scalp. (Like the river she thought would drown her.)
She is blind in the way that she doesn't see Mugen's insults for what they are. Somewhere, in the farthest depths of her subconscious, she has always known that he points out her flaws so that she can fix them...or at the very least, learn to hide them better. His words are never there as just put-downs, even if that's what he wants her to believe.
Fuu is blind in the way that she continues to trail along behind them – never quite in the same step, their three names never whispered in the same breath.
Fuu envies the two of them in many ways, and the extent of her bitterness hasn't ever ceased to surprise her. Once, she had wished them both crippled, and the only reason she could think of to justify herself was that they were taunting her intentionally with their attacks, with the iridescent flashes of metal in the night, swords unsheathed. She convinces herself that they know what they're doing, because it usually seems they do.
But do they know what they are doing to her? Do they know the hole they are digging her into?
And the larger question: does Fuu know that she's the one digging the hole?
Fuu clenches her fists and her pace grows faster, but Mugen and Jin still run in front of her, close enough she can see them and yet just out of reach.
They are reunited, and, just for a moment, when she sees the wind lifting through Mugen's hair and the red-tinted sun shining through Jin's, just for a moment, Fuu sees.
Fuu sees that they were never truly united to begin with.
(As the wind dies down, a promise is forgotten.)
And then, then, Jin turns around with questioning eyes, and she loses her train of thought, smiling and hurrying to his side.
They are united now.
Fin.